A/N: This is a sequel of sorts to A Skeletal Romance. It's probably going to be a few loosely connected one-shots/chapters centred around or connected by the theme of "whoops, we've been found out". Each part will be fairly self-contained. I have some vague ideas for the next parts, but cannot make any promises about when I'll get around to writing them. Thanks to refya for betaing this, as always!

Disclaimer: Characters, settings, or basically anything you recognise are not mine. They belong to the amazing Derek Landy. I make no money from this.

Part I

Valkyrie wondered, not for the first time in recent weeks, what exactly it was that made Skulduggery so irresistible. Or what exactly it was that made it impossible for her to keep her hands off him.

"Let's spend a quiet night in," he'd suggested. "We could even watch something. A movie, maybe. Something fun."

Of course she'd agreed. Spending every night chasing criminals was fun, too, but on the other hand, the promise of an evening in the comfort of Gordon's mansion, without getting kicked in the ribs or without someone trying to set you on fire… It was certainly tempting. As was the idea of doing something normal with Skulduggery.

So, the part of her brain that wasn't busy with working out the most ticklish spot on Skulduggery's ribcage asked her, why are you once again sprawled all over him, quite naked?

"Skulduggery?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"Weren't we supposed to watch something tonight? A movie?"

"We were indeed." He was batting her fingers away from his ribs, but noticeably avoided putting too much effort into it. She judged it safe to continue with what she had been doing.

"So why am I sprawled naked all over you now on the sofa instead?"

"Because your DVD collection is, frankly, appalling."

"Ah. Well, everything I have is in colour, I suppose. Did you tell me that before we ended up here?"

"You attacked me and took away my clothes before I had the chance."

"Oh. So I did. Sorry about that."

"I don't mind." His voice, velvety as ever, caressed her cheek, and Valkyrie felt she was in grave danger of melting into a puddle if he kept that up.

She shifted a little, trying to find a more comfortable pose. Skulduggery, ever the gentleman, always made sure there was a bit of air acting as a cushion between some of the harder, sharper angles of his frame and her, but on the narrow sofa, finding the perfect position was still complicated. It was worth it, though – she loved the way he felt, smooth cool bone against warm skin.

She closed her eyes and snuggled closer, placing kisses along his jaw. Skulduggery's arms were wrapped around her now, his fingers dancing along her back, when they suddenly stilled.

They were not alone any more. And she didn't need to read the air to know it.

Someone drew in a sharp breath. Someone else cleared her throat. Someone shuffled his feet.

"Valkyrie? We seem to have company," Skulduggery said, his voice completely flat.

She opened her eyes and slowly craned her neck, very aware that her clothes were somewhere on the floor. If their unexpected guests were there to kill them… That would be embarrassing.

xXx

Well.

They weren't in mortal danger, but the reality wasn't much better. Valkyrie closed her eyes with a sigh and let her head fall onto Skulduggery's shoulder, hoping that this was just a bad dream. She opened her eyes again a moment later, but nothing had changed.

Fletcher. She should have known. Who else could have got in without them noticing the arrival of guests?

Her former boyfriend was standing in the middle of the room, his face red and his hair mussed. Valkyrie had to crane her neck some more to get a better view, but it looked like his fists were clenched, too. He was staring right at her— Well, at least her arse wasn't something that he hadn't seen before, but Valkyrie winced mentally anyway. Awkward, definitely awkward.

Ghastly was right next to him. Unlike Fletcher, he was pointedly looking anywhere but in the direction of the sofa. Next to them, Tanith, eyes wide open and one hand clapped over her mouth, had just picked Skulduggery's jacket off the floor.

"Thanks," Valkyrie mumbled, as Tanith stepped closer and handed the jacket to Skulduggery, who draped it over her back. He was still trapped under her, but Valkyrie didn't feel inclined to get up yet.

"It's always wonderful to have visitors drop by," Skulduggery said, "but I have to admit that this is somewhat unexpected."

"Why are you all here?" Valkyrie asked. "And more importantly, what are you doing teleporting into my home, Fletcher? There is a perfectly fine doorbell outside!"

Fletcher had apparently overcome the shock that kept him quiet. "You lied to me!" he shouted, at the same time as Ghastly, who was busy studying the carpet, said, "Fletcher came to get us—".

Valkyrie raised her voice. "First of all, Fletcher, I didn't lie to you! Second, shut up. Ghastly, you were saying…?"

"Fletcher popped over just a while ago and said he had been around to Skulduggery's house, and found no sign of him. And that he'd then tried the phone, but got no answer. And that he'd been inside—"

"You went inside my house?" Skulduggery sounded incredulous. "But— Oh. I never did get around to setting the anti-teleportation defences, did I?"

"If I may continue?" Ghastly said. "I tried to ring you myself, Skul, but your phone was switched off. Not knowing what was wrong, I asked Fletcher to take me back to your house. From the layer of dust covering everything, it looked like you hadn't been there for days if not weeks."

"Ghastly and Fletcher then came back to pick me up," added Tanith, who seemed to have found her voice at last, although her eyes were still wide open with disbelief. "So we decided to come here and ask Valkyrie if she knew anything about this mysterious disappearance." She raised an eyebrow. "I would say that we have our answer now."

Valkyrie scowled. "Now that you know where Skulduggery is, can you all just go away again?"

"Not before you've told me what the hell is going on here!" Fletcher was clearly not in the mood to go anywhere. "I think I deserve that much, at least. You told me there was nothing between you and Skulduggery, and I believed you, Val! I believed you."

"I told you the truth." Valkyrie's shoulders sagged and she had to fight the temptation to bury her face in Skulduggery's shoulder. "Look, I know what it looks like, but I didn't lie to you. All right, we can talk, but… Could you all just go away for a bit and let us get dressed first?"

xXx

Once their unexpected visitors had withdrawn to the kitchen to make some tea and sandwiches – not without some more angry sputtering from Fletcher, whom Ghastly and Tanith had finally dragged away with them – Valkyrie pushed herself up, keeping the jacket around her shoulders.

She sighed. "I'm really sorry about all this."

Skulduggery tilted his head. "What are you sorry for?"

"The unexpected invasion?"

"You didn't invite them here, did you?"

"No."

"See. Nothing for you to be sorry about."

Valkyrie smiled and reached for her clothes. "I'm sorry we got disturbed. And for Fletcher yelling. And I suppose I wanted to keep this – this thing we have – just between us for a little longer."

"We can blame Fletcher for all that." Skulduggery hesitated for a moment. "You don't mind that they know, do you?"

Valkyrie turned and looked at him. The perpetual grin on his face couldn't mask the insecurity she had caught in his voice. She let her fingertips caress his jaw before she answered. "No, I don't mind. I could have wished for a less embarrassing way for them to find out, but they'd have found out sooner or later."

He caught her fingers in his. "And you don't mind that everyone will think you're weird?"

She gave a slight shrug. "Ghastly will understand. So will Tanith, although I should warn you that she will probably want to know all the details. Fletcher…" She sighed. "We should get dressed before they send someone out to see what is taking us so long."

The clothes, scattered around the sofa, didn't take long to put on. Valkyrie threw on her jeans and T-shirt, not bothering with socks or underwear; she grinned at the sight of Skulduggery straightening his tie.

"I think it's a bit late for you to dress to impress," she said. "They did just see you naked, you know."

"A man should always look his best." Skulduggery picked up his jacket and put that on, too. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll be."

She didn't want to talk to Fletcher. She didn't think she owed him anything, least of all an explanation – not after the way he just barged in on them – and there really had been nothing going on between her and Skulduggery when she'd broken up with Fletcher, so it wasn't as if she'd lied to him… Or was it a lie? When she'd known she had feelings for her skeletal partner; feelings she had been sure would never be reciprocated, so she'd never mentioned them to anyone?

She shook her head. She might never have told Fletcher the truth, and she might have led him on, although never on purpose, but she'd never lied to him. And she had for the longest time believed, really believed, that she and Fletcher had a chance.

xXx

Fletcher glared at them from his seat at the kitchen table. Tanith, who didn't even bother to try and suppress the grin on her face, offered Valkyrie a steaming mug of tea, which she accepted gratefully. At least it gave her something to keep her hands busy. Ghastly was preparing a tray of sandwiches.

Valkyrie took another seat at the table. Skulduggery placed himself behind her, leaning against a cupboard, and crossed his arms.

There was an awkward silence.

Skulduggery tapped his fingers against the back of Valkyrie's chair.

Tanith cleared her throat. "So, um, I guess the two of you are together?"

"We are indeed." Skulduggery's voice was smooth.

"Have been for a couple of weeks now," Valkyrie added, glaring at Fletcher across the table.

"A couple of weeks. Sure." Fletcher's mug met the table with a clink. "Why don't you just admit you've been screwing the skeleton for months now? Or has it been longer? Years, even? Did you laugh at me behind my back? Did you?"

He swiped at his eyes angrily. Valkyrie saw the way they glistened, and opened her mouth to answer, when Fletcher continued. "It's sick. You and him. Sick, twisted, and just— Just plain wrong."

"Fletcher."

He pushed his chair back and stood up. "Don't. Just don't."

Tanith caught Valkyrie's eye and put her arm on his shoulder before he could teleport away. "I think you should listen to what Valkyrie has to say, Fletcher."

Valkyrie cradled her mug in her hands. "I'm sorry, Fletcher. I'm sorry that you had to find out like this, but…" She caught herself before she could start telling Fletcher how it was all his fault. She couldn't do that now, not if she wanted him to listen. "I didn't lie to you. Skulduggery has been my best friend since the day I met him. You knew that. He's been my teacher and my mentor. We're colleagues. Partners. But that was all there was between us. Friendship. We… There was never anything else, not until things changed a few weeks ago."

Fletcher stared at her for a moment before turning his eyes at Skulduggery. "Is it true?"

"It is."

"How do I know you're not lying to me now?"

Valkyrie looked at him. "Why would I have stayed with you if I'd been with Skulduggery?"

Fletcher shrugged. "For the sex?"

Valkyrie snorted before she realised this was probably not the right response at this time.

"I'm sorry, Fletcher. I can't offer you proof, but please believe me. And I really never meant to hurt you. I liked being with you. I really did."

He shrugged again. "Don't expect me to understand. I'll, um, be going now."

Tanith let go of his shoulder and a moment later, there were only the four of them left in the kitchen.

Valkyrie took a sip of her tea. It was still hot.

"Sandwich?" Ghastly held out the tray.

"Uh. Thanks."

There was another awkward silence.

Valkyrie bit into the sandwich. It was good, and she was surprisingly hungry, although her stomach felt a little queasy after the confrontation with Fletcher. Even though it had gone well, all things considered.

"I've known you for a very long time, Ghastly," Skulduggery said at last. "You have something to say. You have that look on your face."

Ghastly grimaced. "I was hoping to talk to you in private."

"I think I can guess." Skulduggery's voice was as smooth as ever, but there was a slight edge to it. "You don't approve."

Ghastly shrugged. "It's none of my business, I suppose, but as your friend, I owe you my honest opinion. No, I don't approve. I suspected that this would happen someday, but frankly, I hoped it wouldn't be for a few years yet. Valkyrie's very young—" He gave her an apologetic look. "I know you're an adult, and have been more than old enough to make up your own mind for a good while now, but… Skulduggery's so much older than you. You don't know his past—"

"You're over three hundred years older than Tanith," Valkyrie cut in. "I don't think it's a problem. Tanith doesn't think it's a problem. Do you think it's a problem? And I think I know enough of Skulduggery's past. Maybe not everything – it would take far too long for him to tell me everything, and I'd never ask him to, but I know enough to have a pretty good idea. Besides, it's the man he is now that matters to me."

Skulduggery's hands moved to her shoulders. She smiled slightly.

Ghastly's eyes had followed Skulduggery's hands. He shook his head. "I'm not blind, you know. I see the way the two of you are when you're together. I suppose it was meant to be, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Still, it's none of my business, and I won't speak of it again."

Valkyrie looked at Tanith. "Don't tell me you disapprove, too?"

Tanith shrugged. "It's a little weird, but to be honest, I sort of expected it to happen eventually. Didn't think you'd get tired of the pretty boys quite so soon – it took me several decades to get to this point – but as Ghastly said, it's been obvious to everyone who knows you two that you'd end up together sooner or later. Although I rather wish I hadn't seen that little display on the sofa. I'll have nightmares forever!"

Valkyrie blushed. "Well, you weren't exactly meant to see that. But thanks. It's good to have someone on our side, too."

"In spite of what I said, I am on your side, too," Ghastly said. He glanced at Skulduggery. "Skul, if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you. It'll just take me a bit to come around to the idea."

"Fair enough." The edge was gone from Skulduggery's voice. "Say – why did Fletcher want me, anyway? It's not like him to search me out like this on his own. Was there an emergency of some kind?"

Ghastly and Tanith looked at each other. "No idea," Tanith said. "He never said, did he?"

Ghastly shook his head. "Not that I can remember. It didn't occur to me to ask either – I was too busy to wonder about what had happened to Skulduggery."

"And you couldn't just ring me?" Valkyrie asked.

"I tried," Tanith said. "There was no answer."

"Oh. Right." Valkyrie remembered her phone was in her bedroom upstairs. "I'd have seen the missed call eventually."

"With no answer from either of you, we thought you might be in trouble." Tanith looked apologetic. "Really, if I'd known, I'd never have allowed the boys to barge in on you like that."

Valkyrie took another bite of her sandwich. The tea had gone cold now and she pushed the mug away. "We should probably ask China about those anti-teleporting spells or symbols," she said, glancing up at Skulduggery. "She'd know what to do, right?"

"I'm quite sure she would." Skulduggery cocked his head. "Fletcher won't be happy."

"Fletcher isn't happy anyway. And I really don't want to be disturbed like this again, not when we're—"

"I don't want to know!" Tanith cut in.

Valkyrie grinned. She knew Tanith's curiosity would get the better of her eventually, but for now, she decided to spare her friend. They'd all had enough awkwardness for one day.

She looked at the tray of sandwiches sitting forlornly on the table.

"Does anyone else want a sandwich?" she asked. "They're really good."

xXx

When they were alone again at last, Valkyrie put her arms around Skulduggery and laid her head against his chest. A moment went by before he pulled her closer.

They stood silently for a while until Skulduggery spoke. "Perhaps Ghastly was right."

Valkyrie looked up into his face. "Do you really think so?"

"You are very young. And there is a lot about my past I haven't told you."

"I've known you for seven years. I've spent nearly every day with you for those seven years. I may be young, and I know there is a lot you haven't told me, but I think I have a fairly good idea of the man you are now."

"You'd think so, wouldn't you."

"Skulduggery… "

"I haven't always been the hero."

"I know. Nearly everyone I've met has told me that."

"And it doesn't bother you? I've done things I'm not proud of."

She closed her eyes. The memories of that night at MacGillycuddy's Reeks were always there, just below the surface of her conscious mind.

"So have I."

He was quiet for a moment. "What Fletcher said – about this thing between us being sick, and twisted, and wrong – you realise that this is what everyone will think about us, yes?"

She nodded. "I know. And I don't care. Tanith is okay with it. Ghastly will be. They're the people who matter."

"What about your parents? I'm not really someone you could just introduce to them."

"I've kept nearly my whole life from them. I can keep you from them, too."

"You shouldn't have to."

"It's my choice."

He bent his head and kissed her, awkwardly, on the lips. He rarely initiated a kiss, and Valkyrie couldn't really blame him – it was easier for both of them when she took the active role – but her heart made a happy little leap at the gesture. She kissed him back with enthusiasm, delighting in the feel of his teeth and jaw bone against her lips.

xXx

Valkyrie stayed awake for a long time that night, long after Skulduggery had fallen into his meditative state. Moonlight was shining in through a gap in the curtains; it created patterns on Skulduggery's bones and made them glitter and glow. She traced the moonbeams with her finger.

Ghastly was right, she thought. No, not about her age, or about her lack of knowledge of Skulduggery's past – not about either of those things being a problem, anyway.

It was meant to be. Ghastly was right about that.