If I lose myself:
Chapter 1:
I wake up in a strange room feeling my whole body aches, at first I can't see nothing because sunlight is making my vision blurry but I'm pretty sure that I'm not even in my house. Wait a moment I'm in…. No way… What the heck! My right arm is cast and the left one has scratches all over! Is this a hospital gown? Why am I in a hospital?! Why am I lying in a hospital bed? I can't remember what happened!
I'm having a panic attack, my heart is racing, my hands are sweating, I'm barely breathing is like my lungs suddenly are small and I can't have enough air, I'm choking. I really try to scream at least talk loud enough for someone to hear me. I need any kind of explanation but my throat is sore and dry, so instead talking I started to cough. I decided to leave the room I'm not sure why, but I need to get out of this hospital for god's sake I need fresh air. When I try to get up a beep sounds because I'm linked to the machine by some wires.
"Wow, slow down Miss Lopez" a male nurse with black hair appeared trough the door of the room running towards me, "You finally woke up! We were starting to worry" the Asian man smiled kindly while is helping me to lie down again on the bed "You can't get up, you definitely need to take it easy!" He seems a good person and his voice is so calm.
"Wh..at is going…." I can't talk properly and still have a little trouble with my breathing and the young man could see in my face that I'm freaking out took me gently by the shoulders
"Listen Miss Lopez, you need to calm down and breathe" and he pushes the button to call another nurse "If you don't calm we'll have to sedate you. Beside you just wake up and I think that you already catch your beauty sleep"
"Do you need something Mike?" Another nurse, a blonde woman, said nonchalantly poking her head through the door and when she realized the situation says "Oh! She is awake!" and came closer the bed.
"Quinn, the patient needs some water and can you page Doctor Schuester?" he said still smiling.
"No problem, I'll be back in a moment" and she leaves quickly.
The truth is that since the nurses are in here with me I'm calmer although I still don't know what is going. I try to talk again, but the other nurse came back with a glass of water and gave it to me.
"Here, drink. Now I'm going to page Schuester" she said looking between me and the male nurse and when she was about to leave the room again she turns around and looks at me "Miss Lopez, I'm glad you wake up, it was about time!" she chuckled and goes away.
I don't know why she said that but I can't help and smile a little bit I don't what happened but I'm really glad to be back again. The male nurse is still standing by my bed and I believe he can see my puzzled face.
"Don't worry she's not a creepy nurse or something like that, it's just that she started to work in the hospital the same day you were brought in here, so she's been taking care of you, well, we both were taking care of you" he explains while I drank the water, my throat doesn't hurt as much as before and he keeps talking. "Where are my manners, my name is Mike Chang and the young woman that just left is Quinn Fabray".
"Listen Mike I don't want to seem rude" I clear my throat "What the fuck is going on, why am I in a damn hospital?!" I try to stay calm but is really difficult.
"Don't you remember?" He asks a little surprised.
"Do you think this is the face from a person who knows what is going on?!" I said while I point myself with my index finger "Hello Earth to Chang!".
"Probably not" He scrunched his face. "Miss Lopez five days ago you had a car accident. And you were in coma since then".
"I HAD A CAR CRASH!" I was in a car crash and I don't even remember.
"I can't find Schuester, nobody knows where he is" The other nurse, Quinn came back to the room.
"Ok, you go first and try to find him again I'll catch you in a moment" he said looking at Quinn, she nods and goes away. "Miss Lopez you are awake now, everything is going to be fine" he tries her best to calm me down.
"Is easy for you to say, you weren't in a freaking car crash that you don't even remember!" I snap at him and he looks away. "I know is not your fault" I feel a bit bad because the poor man has nothing to do with the accident "I'm really nervous because I woke up in a hospital and then you tell me that I had a car accident, this is like a nightmare, my world is upside down. Besides, I don't like hospitals, like at all" I said sincerely.
"Don't worry Miss Lopez, many people don't like hospitals" he laughs a little trying to light the mood.
"So at this moment your doctor is nowhere to be found so I'm going to look for him with Quinn, if you have any problem or need anything just push the red button" he said mimicking the voice of a host from TV.
"I don't need beauty sleep" Mike who was walking towards the door suddenly stops and turned around to face me with a surprised face "I look fabulous even after a car accident, as you can see" he was laughing while shakes his head "And you can call me Santana".
"Ok" and then leaves.
I can't believe I had an accident, wait a moment, I'm the only one hurt, I crashed with someone?! What if I hurt somebody else or even worse if I killed someone, that's unlikely because there is no sign of cops around here but I don't know, is this just like in the movies? When they stay around until the bad guy wakes up or what? I was lost in thoughts when someone clears their throat; Quinn is leaning in the door frame.
"We finally found the Doctor; he will be here in no time. You need something?"
"I have a question"
I try to get up a little bit because I'm sick of being on the bed the whole time, but then when I move I feel like someone is beating the crap out of my chest. With my left hand I pushed the hospital gown to look at my chest and I can see why hurts like hell when I was trying to move I have a very big bruise.
"It is due to the seat belt" Without noticing Quinn has come near to me "But the belt saved you from worse injuries, so it's a little price to pay. I'll bring you painkillers".
"Wait" I grab her arm before she leaves again "I have a question and I need an honest answer".
"Ok, shoot!"
"The accident was my fault? I killed somebody?"
She remained in silent. I know I'm not a saint, I'm stubborn and sometimes I'm numb to other people's feelings but that doesn't mean I'm fine causing an accident.
"Your silent is killing me!" Her silent can only mean one thing "It is my fault, isn't it? Damn!"
"I just kept silent like 3 seconds because I was thinking. No need to freak out!" She puts her hands in her hips. "I don't know all the details, but the accident wasn't your fault. A truck skipped the speed limit; the truck driver lost the control and hit your car".
"Sam needs help with the guy from the 203" another nurse said carrying clean bed sheets and goes away quickly.
"Ok Mercedes, I'm on my way! I have to go now but if you need anything just press the red button" she said mimicking the voice of a hostess from TV just like Mike previously did. They are such a weirdos but I can't help laughing.
Oh sweet Jesus I'm beyond of glad! I don't killed anyone and wasn't my fault. I felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my chest. After 10 minutes Mike appears with a curly haired man with a stethoscope around his neck, is easy to guess that this is my doctor.
"I'm William Schuester, nice to meet you" he claps his hands before talking again "How are you feeling?"
He looks my arms, now he pulls out a small flashlight and checks my eyes and then starts with my legs. I don't realize that I have scratches all over my body until now and a few stitches in my right eyebrow. I'm a total wreck.
"Truth is that I've had better days"
"Quinn told me that you need painkillers, so after you eat a little you can take one of this every 4 hours"
He puts a pill box on the table next to me, now that the examination is over Schuester waves his hand to make Mike come closer to the bed and talks again.
"So Miss Lopez, Mike told me that you don't remember the accident"
"I don't even remember drive my car!"
"Traumatic memories can cause life problems, so our brain blocks them out in order to survive. But as far as I'm concerned it's all good" he politely smiles as he puts his hands in the pockets of the white coat "But we still need make some test to be sure".
"I can't wait going for a walk in central park" I said truthfully, I can't wait to go home and I'm only been awake like a couple of hours.
"Well you maybe need a weekend to go over there" Schuester said laughing like I was joking.
"I don't understand why you are laughing? A lot of people usually go to walk or run in central park"
"Of course, if you live in New York" Mike said nonchalantly.
"And do you think where I live in the moon or what? My apartment isn't that far from the park" Mike and Doctor Schuester suddenly stopped laughing.
"Are you saying that you live in New York?" Schuester was looking straight in my eyes.
"Yes. Why are you looking at me like that? It's kind of weird"
"According to your file you are currently living in Boston" Mike answered reading the folder that was at the end of my bed.
"Are you two insane?! If I live in Boston why I'm in a New York's hospital, nonsense" And these people are taking care of my heath, unbelievable!
"Miss Lopez this is the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston" The doctor said pointing to the logo on the front pocket of his coat.
"Are you messing with me, aren't you?"
"Miss Lopez, quickly tell me what is your name, your age, where do you live and what year do we live in? Schuester asked.
"You're so irritating; I'm telling you that I want another doctor!"
"Please, just answer" Mike said seriously.
"My name is Santana Lopez, I'm 25 years old and I live in New York and the year is 2010" I said in annoyed voice "Are you happy now? Can we move on another topic or leave me alone? Whatever you like"
"Miss Lopez we are in Boston, you have 28 years old are and the current year is 2013"
"WHAT!"