The grasp on the many levers and controls of the TARDIS held vast after realizing that he was alone once more. That creeping desire to never want to care again flowing deeply within him once again, he said to himself the familiar words in a defeated voice, "No more". After the loss of Jessica, he felt like that was the final nail driven through him. After so many faces and so many people he's been over these last 2,300 years, he knew deep inside he was a different man than all of those faces he once had. Even looking not a day over 25, all the pain of all the years were finally catching up to him. After seeing the loss of his people, his family, and all of the friends and companions, and knowing that he lives the burden of immortality - having to be in an endless cycle of learning to care for the only people he has left, and having to watch them age and eventually die, all of this was catching up to him. He knew he was no longer the jovial carefree young man he once appeared to be. Even while still looking youthful, his mind was now feeling its age. He no longer even had the strength or desire to pretend he's happy. He's not. Even to such a degree that he refused to show any real kind of emotion except for the times when his anger boiled over into an uncontained burning hot rage. Why should he express any emotion when emotion always leads to pain? He's been reduced to a mildly monotone speaking person always appearing to be very cool and collected.
He slowly turned looking off into space in deep thought tucking his hands deeply within his pea coat. He realized full well that his last regeneration was only a partial one. It may have restored his appearance back into a youthful man, but the regeneration didn't heal his mental wounds. After so many regenerations, he became dependent on that to keep him going, but even that failed this last time. Not only did he have to continue living onwards with all of this hanging over him, but now he has to deal with the disgrace he felt knowing he didn't complete a regeneration cycle. Back at home, he remembered hearing stories of eight different time lords in Gallifreyan history that either chose to not complete their cycle, or had something happen that prevented them from regenerating. They had become pariahs shunned by society - considered mutants and impure. Somehow knowing that if this had happened if he had still been at home made him realize how much more he missed how things used to be even if he hated the way the Time Lords governed. But he didn't choose to not completely regenerate - something stopped him. He just didn't know what. Considering he was the only time lord in existence (besides for the Master), why did this matter anymore? He is the lone empire of the timelords now.
Suddenly, a desire to want to see Earth crept into his mind, and without any real thought or hesitation, he set the destination for Earth, and the comforting sounds of his spaceship could be heard once again. Letting go of the controls, he felt the TARDIS land and he opened the door and peered out knowing he had let the TARDIS pick a random location. It appeared that he had landed in a city on a cool light rainy night. Wanting to get away from his thoughts for a while, he decided to do the thing he loved to do the most - even knowing he was a different man, he was still an adventurer. He felt the cool rain hitting his face and a mild breeze blowing the back of his coat around as he walked down the rain soaked street as the lights gently reflected off the pavement. As he looked up towards the sky taking a deep breath, he noticed something unusual. Atop one of the higher buildings, he noticed a girl roughly around the age he appeared to be, standing dangerously close to the edge. Puzzled by this, he walked up to the entrance of the building pulling out his new black handled sonic screwdriver with its red glow breaking the lock. Tentatively walking up the flights of stairs to the roof, he eventually made it up to the hatch door and used his screwdriver once again. He walked quietly over to her general vicinity, and watched her for several moments.
"What're you doing?" he said sounding calm and collected as usual as this face seemed to dictate. She jumped at the sound of his voice startled that there was someone with her on the roof. He showed no response to her apparent fright continuing to watch her tentatively and curiously. "Stay back!" she shouted back at him. "I'll jump!" she concluded. Still with no reaction on his face, he walked over to the edge keeping a fair distance from her as she demanded looking down at the street below. "That's quite a fall. You probably wouldn't survive that. Why would you want to do that?" he asked puzzlingly. "Maybe for that exact reason, idiot" she responded aggressively. "But that doesn't answer my question. Why do you want to do that?" he responded right back still unphased by any of these events. "Because I have nothing left in life. I've been cheated on by my fiancé, my family hates me and has thrown me out on the street, and I've lost all of my possessions. This has always been the way my life has been, and it will never change! He was everything to me and everything I had to live for and I don't even have anywhere to go now! There's no more hope for me or this world, and no fairy tale magic in life! No more wonder. It's all dead to me! Does that answer your question!?" she fired back becoming more hysterical. Looking more puzzled by the fact that someone could be this girl's everything, he continued to look at her. For a few moments he stared at her, then looked back down at the street once more. Without any warning, he began to search for something in his pocket, and pulled out a good sized rock and placed it on the roof surface.
"See this rock? What does it look like to you?" She looked at him as if he was mocking her. "It's a rock! What's it supposed to look like!?" "True, but when you think of a rock, what does it remind you of?" he calmly responded back to her. "How should I know!? I guess it reminds me of something that will always be here. Something solid and unmovable. Something that will always be the way it is" "That's a pretty fair insightful answer. And I think that's a good assumption as well. But do you want to know something interesting about this rock or any other rock on this planet? It wasn't always like this...in this solid dense form. You see, rocks form when molten magma cools turning it into this solid form. But do you want to know something else?" interrupting his own speech, he takes his sonic screwdriver within his pocket pointing it at the rock careful not to show what he's using, he heats the rock to an extreme temperature, and it melts into a puddle of magma. "Even the most unchanging, immovable thing can be changed...you just have to try hard enough and think outside the box. Because the way something can appear is almost never the way it truly is...it's just depends on the way you chose to perceive it."
She continued to stand on the edge now frozen in disbelief her eyes locked with the puddle of molten magma that was once the rock. "Still believe that all the magic in the world is dead?" he continued still watching her diligently. His thoughts caught up with him at last. Why did he even care about this? Why did he feel the need to prove these things to this person? This is not the way he is. She stepped back from the edge slowly approaching the puddle now beginning to cool back down into its original form the softly falling rain helping to cool it. "How...how did you do that?" she stuttered. He paused for a few moments still pondering upon his thoughts staring down at the ground. "Magic I suppose" he responded back unfocused tucking his screwdriver away in his coat. "None of this can be real. None of this is happening.." she concluded looking clearly overwhelmed. This seemed to shake him out of his daze, but while still looking downwards, he began to shake his head feeling a strange sense of aggravation he's recognized before, but it never became so pronounced to him until now why. "Why do you choose to be so disbelieving? Why choose to be so close minded?" he shot at her still as collected as ever though not feeling so on the inside. "Why do humans always have to be so thick..so caught up in their tiny little world of ignorance thinking the universe revolves around them that they would choose to deny anything that doesn't coincide with their tiny existence?" he thought to himself. Yet he still wondered to himself why exactly he cared so much about what this girl thought. Even what all of humanity thought. He realized he never felt more separated from the humans as now. How could he have ever loved this species? This selfish, self righteous species.
The rain began to fall more heavily and the city lights began to fall as night progressed. As this train of thought continued to compel him full of bitterness, he was tempted to just allow the girl to do whatever she pleased. Just as he was about to turn around and walk away feeling like this effort was a waste of time, a strange cold sensation filled his senses and stopped him in his tracks as if something otherworldly gripped him. He felt her eyes staring at him from behind. He paused for a moment looking at the sky once more. "You're quite right to not believe in magic and fairy tales. They don't exist. There is no such thing and no greater delusion than to believe in such", he said with his back still turned from her. "That is the one thing I am truly envious of you humans. You are able to live a normal life full of love and happiness if you can find it. And the fact that one day, you will die. I will never understand why so many seek immortality. That would be a curse" He turned and faced her once more. "You can do whatever you please and I won't stop you, but do know that just like that rock, anything and anyone is capable of surviving and even changing a situation when it seems futile". He began to walk away once more simply fighting off the cold sensation that had begun to overwhelm him once more.
Before he could make his way back to the door, she asked: "But who are you? What do you mean when you say 'you humans' as if you're not human? And how did you do that to that rock?". "Why should I try to explain myself when you clearly won't believe anything I say anyway?" he responded. "Because, I have nothing else left to believe." she replied back with sorrow plaguing her voice. He stopped once more thinking for a moment, and with his back turned still, he replied, "I'm the Doctor". "That can't be your name, what is it for real?. "That is my name. The Doctor" he concluded. "Doctor Who?" she questioned. Going completely off topic, he asked "Does no part of you believe in magic or fairy tales? Because as you say, you have nothing left to believe in anymore and apparently no place here anymore either." She paused for a moment looking up at the dark clouds above. "I want to believe. I want to believe so badly. This world is so cruel and can hurt so badly when all I want is to just be happy. I care too much about others while so many others could care less about me. I just don't know what to believe or believe in anymore. I guess I never really shook off the childlike view of the world I suppose that everything is good. I just wish I could go far away from this awful place. Somewhere full of the wonder I've always wanted" He began to feel empathy for this girl as he began to see past her defensive exterior. They stood in silence for a few moments, and he eventually said to her, "If you want to believe in fairy tales and all that crap, then I have something to show you" he said with a certain air of irritated sharpness, yet defeat in his voice knowing he's giving into the same promise he had made himself. He knew that he was setting himself up for the same thing once again, but he became more driven to prove her wrong rather than having sympathy for her like he knew his past selves would have. "Follow me", he said with the same tone of defeat.
She followed him cautiously down the street approaching the turn where he had parked the TARDIS. "So, your name's the Doctor, you act like you're not a human, and you can magically melt rocks. Tell me something, are you planning on killing me?, because you clearly don't seem to be sane." she said with a hint of levity still intermixed with sorrow. "Well, you're the one who trusted someone who's clearly mad, so who's the sane one exactly? Besides, I wouldn't make it that easy on you." he replied back sarcastically returning the slight levity, his face not synchronizing with it. "Besides, what's your name anyway? Human?" he added. "It's Erin." she replied. "Alright Erin, we have arrived" he proclaimed with his arms open presenting her the TARDIS. "It's a phone box. And it's blue." Erin said. "No, it's a police telephone call box. Look, it even says it on the top." he responded back with continued irritation and sarcasm, but yet that same air of very slight levity. "So, still don't believe in magic?" he questioned. He took out the TARDIS key from his coat, opened the door, and walked inside. Erin, looking extremely puzzled to why this strange man had just walked into this strange box, she peered inside to see what he was doing. Her eyes widened with shock as she stood frozen in place and what she saw. He outstretched his arms presenting it to her again like before. "This, is my TARDIS.", he proclaimed somehow managing to present it to her without the slightest facial change besides his eyebrows rising. She continued to remain frozen in place her eyes still wide. "It's...it's" she stammered in complete disbelief. He watched her intently waiting for her to say the same line every other person has ever said when witnessing the inside of his TARDIS. "It's more bigger on the inside than you thought?" he said suggestively still waiting hopefully. "I think I've completely lost it now" she responded back to the only clear indication of disappointment by his eyebrows lowering in irritation. "Not quite what I was hoping for" he said shrugging it off.
She finally found it in her to finally move forward, and walk in still wide eyed in disbelief. "I am capable of traveling all of time and space with this" he said with his hands out palms up. She finally came to her senses, and walked right back out the door, and decided to examine the exterior of the police box walking the perimeter of it. He continued to stand in his console room and patiently waited for her to confirm what she was seeing wasn't some illusion whilst looking upwards with a neutral smirk on his face. She suddenly popped back into the door declaring "It's smaller on the outside!" as he responded by putting his hands in the air again as if to say "there you go, told you so". "Not always the fan favorite as far as the initial comment is concerned, but it'll do" he said with a slight nod. "Now, what was it you said about this thing traveling in time and space?". "Yes, it does that." he responded. "This is crazy!" she exclaimed with excitement. "I always dreamed of this kind of stuff being true, but I never really thought it was." "I'll tell you what else it can do. Go somewhere far away and full of wonder. The same wonder you thought didn't exist. All of time and space. Anywhere you could ever dream of" he said still remaining as stoic as ever even with the offer of something so amazing. "But if all of this is true, it would be incredible..it would make anyone excited and happy. How come you seem so sad?" Erin asked with curious, yet sympathetic look on her face. He paused and looked down at the floor and then off into space for a moment with a slight combination of obscured internalized sadness and anger, yet with no clear change in facial expression. She could tell he wasn't going to answer because he responded by completely ignoring the question like it was never spoken. "You never answered my question about acting like you're not human." she asked pausing for a moment hesitantly. "Are you not human?" "Did you really think any human would be able to figure out how to make something bigger on the inside like this?" he responded in a mildly sarcastic tone pausing for a moment. "Yes, I'm an alien. I'm a Timelord from the planet Gallifrey. Yes, not human. It's alright if you don't believe me. I'm quite used to it by now." "I believe you. I really kind of have to at this point. I mean a..police box?..that's bigger on the inside? But I really don't believe this is a time machine." Erin replies. "Well, I guess the only way to prove it to you is show you. Pick a place. Any place. Any time. And make it be full of wonder as you say."