"There's a long way to fall, but I have jumped off the cliff."
NOTE: In this story Arizona is Callie's first woman (Erica never happened), and Callie has never experienced such feelings toward a woman. Arizona is there to clear all that up. Takes place in the bedroom (mainly) after what was meant to be a one night stand.
Callie's POV
Some say long nights solve. They give you time and silence to reflect on what is going on in your life and according to them that silence, that time, is great. After one good, long night, you will have gotten yourself together and figured it all out. But that's the thing: such a night has to be good. If it's not good, it will only make things more confusing.
It's still dark, I'm guessing 3 am. My eyes follow the patterns on the bed sheets. My mind gets lost every now and then, and I will have to make it focus on the patterns again. Just think, Callie, for one moment just think. As I look next to me I see her eyes are still closed, her make up a little messed up and her mouth in a slightly smiley position. Just enough to show her dimples. "She's sleeping well," I think.
I am pretty sure a few hours have passed by now and only one thing has crossed my mind. Her. Arizona Robbins. Doctor Robbins. From the hospital. From work. Her hair, her eyes, her lips, her neck, her breasts- Every time I think of her I go down that road. But I have to focus on what is going on; on what has been going on for the past week. The chemistry, of course it was there, but what does it mean. What does all this mean?
Wait. Where am I? My sleepless mind is suddenly awake as the sun slowly starts to light up the room. My eyes are now wide-open. This is not right. This is not my home. Where am I? Her home. Of course I am in her home. Where IS her home? Oh my God, I slept over. Are people supposed to sleep over after such things? No, right? I got to get out of here. I slowly remove the sheets from my body. I see her underwear lying right next to my leg. Last night was amazing. I step out of the bed and walk to Arizona's side of the bed to get my clothes. Silently as possible I put them on and turn around. SHIT. Hit my leg against the bed. "Ffff-" I go, knowing I should remain silent. Don't. Say. Anything. Breathe, move on. Hoping Arizona won't wake up from the sound of the knock from when my shin hit the wood, I walk on. She murmurs. I reach the door and open it. It clicks. I turn away from her and walk out.
"Wait," I hear behind me, "where are you going?"
I freeze, closing my eyes, not knowing what to say. Then I turn around.
"I, uh, I am going home. As I should. Right? Yes, I should. Last night was great," she smiled at that line, "so I will go now." Pause. "Bye."
"Wait," she stopped me once again in mid-turn, and once again I turn around. I keep having trouble with walking away from her. "are you bleeding?" She looks at my leg, genuinely worried. I look down and see there's a small stream of blood flowing down my shin.
"No," I say. What the-? I want to hit myself, of course I am. She sees it, I see it. "yes. But it's nothing, don't worry about it. I just bumped into the bed. Doesn't even hurt." I say, as I lean completely on my right leg because the other one feels like it's being stabbed with a knife every time I take a step.
"Let me see that. Come on, get over here."
I do. I go over there. Never felt like not going, never felt like not doing whatever she wants me to do. Do I love this woman? "Shut up" I think to myself, as I sit down on the bed.
"It's nothing, really. I just walked into the bed. If you have a plaster for me, maybe? It'll be fine."
"I know your shin will be fine. I've seen worse. I just wanted to get you over here." She leans in for a kiss. I don't move, really. I'm just there, her lips tell my lips what to do, they find a way to control me. I lean in a little more. I can feel her smile.
"You don't have to go," she whispers, "we could just cuddle." She proposed to cuddle. She's not needy, I'm not just an experiment, she cares. She wants me to stay. Genuinely wants me to stay. I smile and nod.
Arizona's POV
Her eyes look into mine. I know she doesn't want to have sex right now. Well, maybe she does – as last night was amazing – but she seems like she needs a little bit of comforting, too. She sits next to me. Her head is on my shoulder and I smell her hair. It's sweet. And soft. I stroke it, as I cannot withhold myself from doing so. My other hand searches for hears and they fold. I kiss her head. I didn't mean to, but it happened. She sighed, sounding either relieved or relaxed, so I guess it was okay.
"I don't usually ask people to stay, you know." I tell her. "WHY." I think to myself. "Why do you always know how to ruin it. Now she will think you sleep with a woman every day and just throw them away afterwards." Wait, why do I care about what she thinks of me so much? This never seemed to happen with other women. I have pretended to still be asleep with other women. I have watched them sneak out the door, them thinking I never did see. I let them leave. Why did I feel like I had to stop Callie, why did I not let her go? Do I... Love her?
"I mean," I continue, "you are... Beautiful and you have been very nice and last night was very... Nice, too. Why did you want to leave?" She didn't seem to move or react to what I said.
"Because I thought that's how it goes." She then replies with a sleepy, scrappy voice.
It's quiet for a minute. A long, yet comfortable minute. Then she speaks again. My stomach turns just at the sound of her voice, like I get excited for her to speak. For her words, her always well-chosen, smart words, to hit me and make me want to talk back.
"Are you gay?" She asks me. I giggled, but stop quickly when her head turns to me and she isn't smiling. She seems genuinely confused, or not sure at least, about what the answer will be.
"Well, yeah. Did you notice? I mean, you're not?" Her head is still facing mine, her eyes still look into mine and her brain is still looking for the right words to say.
"I have never dated, or slept with, a woman before." A lock of her hair falls over her eye. I hesitate if I should put it back behind her ear, and I do, as gently as possible.
"Doesn't have to mean you're not gay though."
"No. No, it doesn't." She places her head back on my shoulder, then sighs. I lean my head against hers and turn my body slightly towards her, searching her legs with mine. She moans. Not like yesterday- I mean, not from pleasure, but from pain. It's her shin. She holds my hand a little tighter.
"Sorry!" I say, retracting my leg.
"It's okay. Doesn't hurt as long as I don't touch it."
Callie's POV
I am definitely feeling something here. The rest, the peace, the comfort... Or maybe I am just still tingling a little from last night. She is a goddess, how could she not be a lesbian? How could she possibly not be a lesbian, yet so great at sex with a woman. How could I not have known. And how could she possibly not have known for sure that I am not. I have never done this before, how did she not know I am not a lesbian. Or am I?
"You know," she whispers, "I have a cure for little pains like that, that doesn't involve medicine." She got me there. Right with that sentence. I don't know what got into me, but I turn my head, look into her eyes and kiss her. Passionately. I don't think I have ever kissed like that, and I hope she hasn't either. Our lips lock perfectly, as if they were made for each other, my body tingles and my stomach turns. She pulls away. A little disappointed, but still burning, I look at her.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing, I just had to see your eyes. And catch a breath. God, you're hot." She says, then continues kissing me. She rolls me over to my side and grabs my hair above my ears. I moan.
"Did I hit you again?" She asks, in between the kisses.
"Nah, it's just..." This time I stop. "You are very hot, too." And as she smiles she leans in again and continues kissing. It's rough and fast, but oh so romantic and sexy. My hands that were still on her shoulders the whole time now stroke her body, first going up her neck, then moving down via her arms to her lower back. I hadn't seen her yet as she was still under the sheets the whole time, but she is naked. I feel her bare body, I feel every inch of her back and arms. Now I turn her over, and see her looking up at me. Her eyes scan my body but keep focusing, but always come back to mine.
"I think I am falling in love." I blurt out. I freeze. She freezes. Oh no. Oh God. Oh help. What have I done, what have I said now. I could've just gone on and kissed her and have lots and lots of sex the whole day, but no, I had to ruin it. The smile on her face fades away, she catches her breath and says:
"I'm so glad, I thought I was the only one."
Our lips collide again, and they hold on to each other for about ten seconds. They don't move, then just stay together. We breathe through our noses. I pull away and kiss her on her cheek, then her neck, her shoulder, between her breasts, on her breasts, her stomach, her belly-button, and then I reach the area I have so little experience with. I look up, to see her smile at me. A comforting smile to let me know it's okay. This is okay. I'm doing good. She grabs my hand, folds it into hers and plays with my fingers. So I go on.
Arizona POV
"You're amazing." I say. And she is. My God, she is amazing. Inexperienced my ass, this woman knows what she is doing. I reach for her bra that she had put on again getting out of bed and unlock it. She looks up for a moment. I ask permission with my eyes, she smiles and nods. I take it off, stroking her back, going up to her hair. I hold on to it as she uses both her tongue and fingers and makes me moan. The first time she looks up at me a little surprised, as if she doesn't get she just did that. Then she smiles. Oh my, that sexy, seducing smile.
1 hour later (still Arizona POV)
I am in the kitchen, making coffee. Callie is in the bedroom, getting changed.
"Your leg okay?" I ask her.
"Yeah, it's closing up already. Going to be bruised, though." She replies. She walks out in the same outfit she wore yesterday. The day I let a piece of magic in my life.
"Did you go into this thinking you might fall in love?" I ask. She turns around, looking rather shocked.
"I... No." She stumbles. "I mean, I had never dated a woman before so I didn't even know I could fall in love."
"Why did you come with me then?"
"Because you were very alluring. And a part of me just told me I had to go."
I nodded and smiled at her. I walked over to her with two cups of coffee.
"Is it true though," she continued, "that you don't usually let people stay? Or are you just saying that to get some more and then you kick me out? Because I am not about that. If you want it to be a one-time thing, kick me out right away and never speak to me again because I will get attached and fall more in love the longer you hold on to me and someday I will really be in love and you can't just break up with me then-" I put down the cups of coffee and kiss her.
"I know. I love strongly, too." I tell her and look her in the eyes. She nods.
"Have you fallen in love?" She asks me.
"There's a long way to fall, but I have jumped off the cliff." I say.
We fall onto the couch and kiss.