What's this? I'm back after two years? Shocking! I've decided to make this to pass the time, and because Season 5 of Total Drama, both halves were such a mess. Anyways, enjoy!
"We've been to the movies. We've been around the world. And this season we're heading back where it all began at Camp Wawanakwa!" The camera panned down the familiar campground to the grinning host with the most standing on the dock.
"I'm Chris McLean and as you can see things have changed since we've been away." An intern standing nearby gave him a drink. "And by changed I mean have gotten really, really dangerous." Chris stepped over as a giant tentacle came out of the ocean hitting the intern and the dock.
Chris laughed. "Good stuff. But the rules of the game remain the same. A bunch of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers and air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional and compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island. Last one standing wins ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Speaking of our cast here they come now!"
A boat passed by with all of the Total Drama contestants except Blainley from the last three seasons. Owen screamed as the boat passed clearly disappointed that he wasn't competing this season. Chris laughed. "No, not them. This season we've got all NEW players fighting for the million! And here they come now! For real!"
A boat was coming towards Camp Wawakanka. "Meet Jo!" Chris said. Jo had her arms crossed and scowled at the boy next to her. "Scott." Chris said. Jo glared at Scott. "Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis." she said. "Right back at ya." Scott said. He sniffed his armpit. The guy next to him looked rather disgusted. He pulled out some hand sanitizer and rubbed his hands furiously.
"Dave." Chris said. "Um, care for some hand sanitizer?" Dave asked Scott nervously. Scott slapped the hand sanitizer out of his hand. Dave immediately pulled out another out of his pocket. "Always keep a spare on hand!"
The camera panned over to the next two contestants. "Zoey and Mike." Chris said. "Can you believe we're here?" Zoey asked. "Yeah," Mike said. "It's beautiful." he said gazing at the pretty girl in front of him. They leaned closer to each other...until a muscular boy came between them knocking them out of the way. "Lightning!" Chris said. "Hello gorgeous!" he said talking to his muscles. He kissed his bicep.
Zoey had fallen into the arms of a guy with short black hair, a military shirt, and blue shorts. "Brick." Chris said. Brick dropped her and saluted when Chris said his name. "Brick McArthur! Reporting for duty!" Another girl wearing pink picked Zoey up. "Ella." Chris said. "Oh, dear!" Ella cried. "Are you all right?" "Yes, thank you." Zoey said. "You're welcome!" Ella sang. Zoey didn't know how to respond. "Um..."
The camera panned over to the next contestants. "B and Dawn." Chris said. Dawn placed a hand on B's arm. "Your aura is exceptionally purplish green." She said. "Although it suits you though!"
A girl with short wavy black hair offered a stick of gum to a short boy dressed in grey. "Sky and Max." Chris said. "Want some gum?" Sky asked. "Your offering of simple confectionery," Max started to say. "Will not save you from the PURE EVIL OF ME!" He gave a wicked smile if you could call it that, and just as soon it appeared, Max was calm. "Thank you, though." he said politely. He gagged on the gum and spit it out. "Cinnamon! There is no need for you to be that spicy!"
A girl with long blonde hair, sunglasses, a pink shirt, and pink pants waved at the camera. "Dakota." Chris said. Dakota giggled. "Hey there. Dakota here and I'm here to win-!" "Excuse me!" a handsome boy said stepping in front of her and getting the camera's view. "Name's Topher. Memorize it." He gave a smile and winked at the camera. Dakota glared at him. "Um, rude!"
The camera moved to a girl spraying her hair. "Anne Maria." Chris said. "Oh yeah, three more coats oughta do it." Anne Maria said. Dakota pushed Anne Maria out of the way. "Hey! Who said you could pan away?" Dakota said. Anne Maria sprayed her with her hairspray. "Don't push me blondie!"
A tall girl who wearing gear fit for the outdoors snatched the can from Anne Maria's hands. "What the? Hey, give it back!" she cried trying to get her hairspray back. "Jasmine!" Chris announced. Jasmine glanced down at Anne Maria. "Are we gonna have a problem?" she said in an Australian accent. Anne Maria growled at Jasmine still trying to get her can of hairspray to no avail. "I said give it back!"
Two identical blonde hair twins wearing cheerleading outfits stood next two each other. The only way to tell them apart was the birthmark on one girl's cheek. "Twins Amy and Samey." A girl with brown hair, a red bow in her hair, a pink sweater, and purple sweatpants approached the twin with the birthmark. "Staci." Chris said. "My great aunt Milly invented Pom-poms. Yeah, before her people cheered the old-fashioned way." Staci said.
The twin looked at Staci with disgust and looked at her sister. "Samey, switch places with me!" Samey signed and did what Amy told her. Amy looked relieved to be away from Staci until she saw the dark-skinned boy with a gap in his teeth standing next to her…dressed like a wizard, fake beard and all.
"Leonard!" Chris announced. Leonard aimed his "wand" at Amy. "Begone, evil witch! I will not fall for your cursed looks!" Amy grabbed his collar. "What was that you said about my looks?!" Leonard looked terrified. "Nothing! Sorry!" He cried.
A girl snatched Leonard from Amy. "You leave the wizard alone!" she said. "Sugar!" Sugar glared at Amy. "You so much as touch him again and I'll toss ya off this here boat!" Amy scoffed. "Whatever..."
The camera panned over to a small, skinny darn skinned teen wearing a red hoodie. "Cameron..." Chris introduced. Cameron took a deep breath of air. "Fresh air!" he said excitedly. "A real lake! Birds!" Birds flew into his face and caused him to fall below in front of a red-headed girl with glasses. "...and Scarlett!" Chris finished. "Oh, dear. Are you all right?" Scarlett asked. "Ugh...I should be fine. Thanks." Cameron said.
A big burly looking farm boy stood next to another contestant who was looking around nervously. "Rodney and Shawn." Rodney sighed at Scarlett. "That girl looks like she's got some brains, huh?" he asked Shawn. Shawn perked up at that word. "Brains?" he asked. "Who's brains? Nobody is getting my brains!" He cowered holding his arms over his hand.
The camera panned to the last two contestants. One was dark skinned with a massive afro mimicking the game noises coming from the last camper's handheld game system. The boy with the handheld laughed. "Great sound system." He said oblivious to the guy next to him.
"And last and certainly least," Chris said with a laugh, "Beardo..." referring to the sound effect maker. "...and Sam." Chris said. "Oh yeah! Grenade launcher upgrade. Now we're cooking." Sam said still engrossed in his game.
"Yep!" Chris said. "It's our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever!" Chris pulled out a remote control and pressed a button causing the boat to explode sending the contestants screaming as it did. Chris took a sip of his drink. "Right here on Total…Drama…Revenge of the Island!"
(Theme song)
Spotlights and camera's pop up all over the island before a clapperboard appears in front of the main camera and snaps.
(Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine...) The camera goes along the hill, and into the lake passing by Chris standing on a log using a megaphone to yell at two of his interns carrying it.
(You guys are on my mind.)
Cameron is shown in the water coughing. A hook grabs him by his underwear and yanks him up to the surface.
(You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see...)
B is shown working on a machine to modify a fishing pole with Max looking closely at his work. The machine malfunctions as it sends Cameron sky with his underwear landing on Max's head.
(I wanna be...)
Jo is seen punching a punching bag, when Cameron falls into her arms. Brick and Sky are shown jogging by when Jo tosses Cameron to join them, unable to resist a challenge.
(famous!)
Dawn is seen sitting on the ground meditating as Ella is singing attracting birds around her. A mutant gopher pops out of the ground and roars at the two, making them scream and run off. Sugar is seen laughing at the two.
(I wanna live close to the sun...)
Amy and Samey are seen arguing on a canoe heading towards a waterfall. As they get closer to the waterfall, they scream and hold each other.
(...well pack your bags cause I already won)
Lightning is shown lifting a log while Jasmine watches unimpressed. She looks up and quickly grabs Samey's hand to keep her from falling, while Amy lands face first on the log, Lightning was lifting. The log beneath them snaps causing all four to land in the water.
(Everything to prove, nothing in my way)
Scott is seen laughing at them near the outhouse confessional until a mutated shark comes out and grins at him. Scott screams and runs off.
(I'll get there one day)
In the mess hall, Chef is stirring a pot of Who knows what, grabbing a pair of headphones. Staci and Beardo are shown to be the cause of his annoyance as they both keep running their mouths. Dave and Scarlett are shown sitting nearby looking just as annoyed with Scarlett snapping her pencil with her hand in frustration.
(Cause I wanna be...famous!)
Shawn gives Rodney a weird look as he is shown staring dreamily at Sky as she wins the race between her, Jo, and Brick. Jo looks annoyed to lose as Brick catches his breath.
(Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na...)
Sam is playing his GameGuy as Leonard cheers him on. Someone taps Sam's shoulder and Sam and Leonard look back. When they look back to the game, they see it's gone. They find a yeti playing it and Sam tries to grab it as Leonard pulls out a foam sword and pokes at the yeti to its annoyance.
(I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!)
Dakota pulls the camera towards her and kisses the lens. An intern wipes the kiss mark as Dakota is trying to call some Photographers, but Topher pushes her out of the way and gets the camera's view. Dakota tackles the boy and fights him for the camera view when Chris, wearing a jetpack dumps a bucket of water on their heads and flies off.
(I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous...)
Later that night, Mike and Zoey are gazing into each other's eyes leaning close...when Anne Maria's hairspray nearby causes them to cough and look at her. Anne Maria stops when she realizes everyone is staring at her. The campers minus Mike, Zoey, and Anne Maria all whistle as they stare at Chef in a full hazmat suit bringing in a radioactive Marshmallow. The camera pans back to show the sign: Total Drama: Revenge of the Island.
(theme songs ends)
Cameron fell onto a rock. "Is this what pain feels like? I hate it." He groaned slipped into the water. Anne Maria swam by not even caring to stop. "Chris is so getting a beat down for this!"
Amy pushed Zoey and Staci out of the way. "Move it!" she said swimming past them. "And hurry up, Samey!" A sad sighed was heard from the twin as she did what her sister told her. Jo was close behind, shoving anyone in her way, out of it. "Coming through! Move it or lose it!." she said shoving Sam out of the way. "Hey!" Sam cried.
Cameron spat out water and tried to grab something. "Help!" he said. Scott and Max swam past him. "Spaz." Scott said while Max laughed at the boy.
"I'll save you, little girl!" Lightning said popping up beneath him and lifting him up with one hand "I'm a boy!" Cameron said.
Dakota has somehow ended up in an inflatable raft and was laying casually as if waiting for someone. She noticed the paparazzi arriving behind her on a boat and taking her picture. She waved and said cutely, "Hi fellas! How ever did you find me?" "Uh, we got your text?" one photographer said.
A hand suddenly came from the water grabbing her raft and climbing aboard. "Pardon me." a familiar voice said. Dakota narrowed her eyes. "You." Topher looked up at her and grinned. "Hey!" He noticed the cameras. "Doing a photo shoot, huh? Let an expert show you how it's done." Dakota glared at the boy so hard, he was fortunate looks couldn't kill.
Chris watched the commotion his viewing screen. "For crying out loud!" he said. He talked to Chef on his headphones. "Uninvited guests over." Chris said. Chef came up out of the water wearing a scuba outfit and attached a bomb to the boat. Chris grinned sadistically as he pressed a button on the remote in his hand causing the boat to explode.
Dakota and Topher were knocked from the blast into Anne Maria's hairdo which made a clanking sound as they hit it. Anne Maria barely noticed them due to her apparently indestructible hair. "Hey! No touching the hair!" she said adding even more hairspray.
Jasmine has grabbed ahold of a plank of wood and was swimming along trying to help whoever she could. Dave was swimming quickly to shore muttering under his breath, "Ignore whatever's in this water, ignore whatever's in this water..."
Staci couldn't swim and was trying to find something to grab. "I wish my uncle twice removed was here!" She went under only to come back up a few seconds later. "He invented life preservers!" She quickly added before she fully went underwater.
"Hang on, I'm coming!" Mike, Zoey, and Sky said. "Oh, you first." Mike said to Zoey. "No, go ahead. I insist." Zoey said. "Well, I mean if you insist." Mike said.
Staci grabbed Mike's face and pulled him under. Zoey gasped. "Hang on!" she cried diving after them. "Seriously?" Sky asked. She swam under and pulled out Zoey who had gotten ahold of Mike who had gotten Staci. "Thanks, I owe you one." Mike said to Zoey.
Confessional
Mike: (rolls the toilet paper roll and stares awkwardly at the camera) Okay, my first confessional...so, um, Zoey. Nice girl. Okay, super nice. I wonder if she'll go out with a guy like me. You see, I have this uh...quirk? I just hope my condition doesn't ruin everything for me again. (sighs)
Zoey: Wow I can't believe I'm actually in the Total Drama confessional. It's so exciting! Everyone here seems so nice. I could use a few new friends. Or friends period. Oh, what if they hate me? Maybe this flower was too big. Am I trying too hard? (looks uncertainly at the camera) You like me right?
Sky: (Sighs) I'm glad to be on the show and all, but I hope those two get their heads in the game. Looking for love in a competition can only lead to trouble! Eyes on the prize.
Confessional ends
Jo walked onto the island and looked around. "Woo-hoo!" she cheered. "That's what I'm talking about! First one on the...wait a minute!" Jo said noticing Dawn sitting on a rock completely dry meditating.
"How did you…? You're not even wet!" Jo said. Dawn looked up. "Hmm? Oh! I used a shortcut." she said. "Ugh..." Jo said. "Anyone else beat me here?" Ella flew to shore being carried by birds. "Thank you, my feathered friends!" Jo was speechless.
Confessional:
Jo: Where do they find these people?
Confessional ends.
Brick crawled to the island next out of breath. "Ma'am." he simply said to Jo before falling face first on the ground.
Confessional
Brick: I may be the strongest player here, but I'm all about the teamwork! Back in Military school, I took the Teamwork Medal three years running. Also the Bed Making Medal, the Flag Folding medal, and the Letters Home to Mom medal. I always win that one.
Confessional ends
B arrived on the island next with a somehow crafted boat carrying most of the drenched constants including Cameron who was coughing and spitting out water.
Confessional
Cameron: I am what's known as a bubble boy. Growing up my mom was really overprotective, so I've never gone swimming before. Up until six hours ago, I've never done anything before. Except read and sigh a lot. (sighs) But that doesn't mean I'm not a force to be reckoned with! (notices a butterfly) No way! The monarch butterfly?! (butterfly lands on his head) Oh, it's so heavy! (falls backwards)
Confessional ends
The rest the contestants arrived on the island except Sam and Leonard. Staci was talking. Not that anyone was listening. "Yeah, my great uncle invented swimming. Before him, people just moved their arms and sank to the bottom. And my great-great-great-great-"
Mike interrupted her and looked at Zoey. "Yeah that's great." he said. Sam arrived on the island. He coughed out a fish followed by Leonard was sitting on a plank as he floated to shore. "My flotation spell worked! How marvelous!"
Confessional
Sam: (laughs) I knew I should have played that sweet fitness workout game. I just hope I don't get voted off first. That would be lame. But if I stick it out long enough to get voted off sixth or even seventh, how cool would that be? (laughs) (takes out video game and plays it)
Confessional ends
Zoey was talking with Mike and Dawn. "So excited to be here. I've been watching Total Drama forever. Who knows maybe I'll make some new friends!" she said looking at Mike who gave her a grin in response. "Yes," Dawn started to say. "That would be good considering you were an only child and all." Dawn said.
Sky had overheard Dawn and Zoey. "What makes you say that?" she asked. "I see people's aura's." she said. She turned back to Zoey and took her hand. "You had such a lonely childhood. It must have been difficult." Zoey snatched her hand away looking a bit creeped out.
Chris came over the intercom. "Attention fresh meat! See the trail leading into the forest? Race to the end of the trail and do not disturb the wildlife. That would be bad."
"Yeah," Lightning said to Rodney. "We wouldn't want to upset the bunnies." "The tiniest sound can set them off. Like this!" Chris blew an air horn into the intercom. Everyone covered their ears. A roar came from the woods and knocked down a tree in the distance.
"Um, what is that?" Dave asked nervously. "I ain't sticking around to find out!" Sugar said running off. Another roar was heard and the twenty-six other campers screamed and ran off.
Jo and Lightning made it first. "Yes!" she said. "Sorry you had to lose to a girl." Lightning looked around confused. "What girl?" He asked. "Lightning didn't lose bro. Lightning never loses!"
Chris pulled up to the two of them on a motor vehicle. "Captain modesty," he said referring to Lightning. "Two steps left you're on Team A. Yo, Jo move over to the right you're Team B."
Scott showed up next along with Sugar, Amy, and Sky. "Pit-sniffer!" Chris said. "You're Team A. Hopefully not the new Owen," Chris looked directly at Sugar. "Team B." "Hope that cute lookin' wizard is my team." Sky and Jo gave her weird looks.
Confessional
Sky: She thinks he's actually a wizard?
Jo: She thinks he's cute?
Confessional ends
"Ugh!" Amy said crossing her arms. "Where is she? I knew she couldn't keep up! So pathetic!"
"Little Miss Ray of Sunshine," Chris called out with sarcasm in his voice. "Team A." Amy scoffed and joined Lightning and Scott who gave her a sly grin. "What are you looking at, Farm boy?" "You're pretty when you're mad." Scott said to her. "Ew!" Amy said disgusted. "But still, you're not wrong." she admitted.
"Hey, host talking here!" Chris snapped at them. "Gymnast girl," Chris jerked his head towards Sugar and Jo. "Team B." Sky nodded and joined the two girls. Rodney, Cameron, B, Brick, and Topher, arrived next.
"Chris!" Topher exclaimed. "Excited to be here! So great to meet the best host on national tv!" Chris smiled at the boy. "Lover boy and Silent Treatment," he said referring to Rodney and B respectively. "Head on over to Team A with my personal fan here." Chris gestures to Topher and the three of them joined Team A.
"Solider Brickhouse and Bubble Boy, Team B." Chris said. "Sir, yes sir!" Brick said joining Sky, Sugar, and Jo along with Cameron.
Ella arrived next humming happily. "Hello!" She sang out.
"Fairy Tale Princess, Team B."
"Oh!" Ella said. She skipped over to Sugar. "Pleased to meet you!" Sugar scowled at her and shoved her aside.
Confessional
Sugar: Oh, I've got my eye on her. I'm onto her little, "Nice Girl" performance. Nobody, but me is winning this here pageant!
Confessional ends
Mike, Scarlett, Zoey, Beardo, and Dave arrived next. "Zoey, the lonely Team B." "Only as a child. Seriously!" Zoey said joining her new team.
"The aura-whisperer Team A." Mike hadn't seen Dawn behind him creep up behind her and screamed. "Along with the Quiet Librarian over there and the Human Beatbox." Scarlett and Beardo joined Dawn with the others. "Saved by a girl and Germaphobe, Team B." Mike and Dave rolled their eyes and joined Team B.
Dakota, Anne Maria, and the rest of the contestants but two arrived next. "Finally!" Amy said. "Took you long enough, sis! What's the matter, couldn't make it here on your own?"
"Is that really necessary?" Zoey asked. "You don't have to be so rude to your sister." "I'm sorry? Did I ask for your opinion?" Amy asked.
"All right," Chris said. "As much as I would love to let this keep going, lets speed this up. Princess Wannabe, the "Mighty Wizard", Little Purple haired Gnome, and the Wonder from down under, Team A." He gestured towards to Dakota, Max, and Jasmine.
As they joined their team, Max spoke out. "Gnome? Be careful how you speak to me you fool, or you will SUFFER MY-"
"Aaaannnnd...moving right along!" Chris said, not caring about Max in the slightest. "Tan-in-a-can, Conspiracy Theorist, and Samey, Team B." "Uh, it's pronounced Sammy." Samey corrected.
"Amy, says everyone calls you Samey." Chris said.
"Well, yes...but-"
"Cause you're the lesser twin." Chris continued. "The lesser Amy, if you will."
"Yeah...but-"
"You're officially Samey!" Chris insisted.
Confessional
Samey: This is so unfair. I auditioned for Total Drama to get away from Amy. At least we're not on the same team?
Amy: I may not be on the same team as Samey, but it doesn't mean I can't make her time here miserable! Like she even deserves to be here. Gag. (blows hair out of face)
Confessional ends
Sam finally arrived crawling along the ground drenched in sweat. "Yo, game junkie! Team A." Chris said. Sam fell to the ground.
Staci arrived last and caught her breath. "My uncle Bill...won the New York marathon four times...because marathons were invented by my great-great-great-uhhhh..." Staci fell on top of Sam. "And chatty Staci Team A." Chris said.
"What the heck was that thing in the forest?" Scott said. "I'm pretty sure that cry belongs to no known animal species." Cameron said.
"Relax..." Chris said. "It'll all make sense eventually." He chuckled quietly, which turned into loud laughter, and then finally into a full blown cackle. The campers all looked at each other nervously. Chris finished and wiped away a tear as he sighed. "Now, since you're all first timers I'm gonna cut you a break and hide a couple of these somewhere on the campground."
Chris pulled out a wooden carving of his head. "A genuine McLean brand Chris head. You're free ticket back into the game! Even if you're teammates vote you off. Whoever finds them will become the most powerful players in Total Drama history!" Chris looked at the Immunity Idol. "Is the cleft on my chin really that big?"
"Yep," Scott said. "And it looks like a butt." Chris glared at him. "Moving on...time for the team names."
"Team Lightning." Lightning said eagerly. "No wait, Lightning squad!" "No, simpleton!" Max said. "Team Evil!"
"Great suggestions you two." Chris said. "But names have already been chosen by moi. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as…the Toxic Rats!" Sam laughed. "Cool." he said.
"And Team B," Chris said. "You are hereby dubbed…the Mutant Maggots!" "Um," Dave said. "What's with all the references to chemical waste?" The contestants heard the roar again. "It's the monster!" Cameron said. A tree fell in the distance, making everyone gasp, until a tiny squirrel came out of the woods.
"Hey, it's just a stupid squirrel!" Jo said. The squirrel blinked it's eyes except they blinked vertically. Dakota screamed. "What the heck is wrong with it?" Sugar asked.
"While we were gone," Chris said. "I rented the island out to a nice family-oriented waste disposal company. Sweet people. But the waste is having a tiny bit of a effect on the animals."
"Weird..." Dakota said kneeling in front of it. "I want one!" The squirrel shot lasers out of it's eyes at Dakota. Dakota screamed, jumped back, and landed in Sam's arms. Chris laughed at her suffering as Sam smiled at her. "Most. Danger. EVER!" Chris said.
Confessional
Dakota: (crying) Chris is the meanest ever! (stops crying and pulls out a hand mirror) Hold on. Okay not to blotchy. Okay take two. Ahem. (continues crying)
Dave: (scrubbing hands furiously) Toxic Waste?! (Puts more hand sanitizer on) Seriously?!
Confessional ends
"Now," Chris said. "Before we start the first challenge of the season, let's give out some rewards. Jo, because you made it up here before anyone else your team gets a trampoline!" Chef was on the trampoline jumping holding the team's rewards. "While the Rats, get a hacksaw." Chris said.
Chef fell off the trampoline causing Lightning to laugh at him and get hit in the head with the hacksaw as a result. Max in turn laughed at Lightning, causing Chef to roll the trampoline over him. "Ow!" Max cried. He groaned in pain in the ground.
"Will someone help that little boy to his feet?" Chris asked. Topher approaches Chris as Scarlett helped Max help much to his protest. "Haha! Chris, you've outdone yourself!"
"Oh, you haven't seen anything yet!" Chris said. He casually held up a bomb with a logo of his face on it. "What do these items have to do with this bomb?" "Um, he won't really blow us up again will he?" Shawn asked Sky. Chris came between them. "Won't I? Find out when we come back." "
"Okay," Chris said as the show came back on. "If you look up, you'll see your team totems." The two teams looked up and did indeed see their totem poles hanging by ropes in the trees. Green for the Rats. Red for the Maggots.
"You need to cut them down, get them in the river, and ride them back to the campground." Chris continued. "First team there wins first pick of the cabins. But be careful...the totems are rigged with bombs that will explode if you don't plant them in front of your cabin in ten minutes or less. Starting now."
"Alright, let's do this!" Jo said. She jumped on the trampoline and landed in the river. "Stand back! Lightning is on it!" Lightning said climbing up the tree. He slipped and fell. "Dang, slippery tree." he said. "Don't worry! Lightning never quits!"
B walked by trying to think of something that would help. "It's too bad my third cousin Jack isn't here to give us tips on tree climbing." Staci said. B snapped his fingers and ran off.
"Okay," Cameron said. "If Jo hits the center of the trampoline with fifty pounds of pressure per square inch-" Sugar pushed Cameron out of the way. "Outta my way. " she said. "I got this." "But I calculated for Jo's weight!" Cameron said.
Sugar jumped off a rock and jumped on the trampoline. She bounced up and hit the bottom of the totem pole. "Ooh!" her team grimaced. She landed on the trampoline again and bounced back up again. And again. And again.
Jo kicked the trampoline out of the way and Sugar crashed onto the ground. Ella rushed over to help her, but Sugar snatched her hand away. "Don't touch me!"
Confessional
Ella: I don't know what's bothering Sugar. I honestly want to help her.
Sugar: I don't. Trust. Her. Not that I need any help in this here pageant anyway. Most people only have beauty, grace, and brains. But I've got both!
Confessional ends
Lightning was still climbing up the tree. Staci was talking about her great aunt. B walked by with a wooden plank, leaned in against a rock, then came back and gestured for Staci to stand on the end of the plank while he took Jasmine near the tree. "Oi, what are you...? Ohh...I see your plan!"
B jumped on the other end of the plank and caused Staci to land on top of Jasmine with her feet on her's shoulders. The Toxic Rats cheered...until Lightning fell out of the tree and groaned.
Confessional
Lightning: First of all tree climbing is not a recognized sport. Plus that tree was covered in butter or something! But if Chris is trying to make Lightning look bad, he can think again. Lightning never gives up and never surrenders. Sha-Lightning!
Confessional ends
Brick jumped of the rock and onto the trampoline. "Time to win this!" Brick grabbed hold of the axe in the bottom of the totem pole and panicked. "Help! Help!" he said. "Good grief." Jo said. "What a baby."
"Oh man this isn't working!" Mike said in frustration. He inhaled sharply and hunched his back with one hand on it as if it was sore. Only one eye was open and he spoke with a raspy voice. "Darn it, just cut the dang rope already!" "That's what we're trying to do Mike." Anne Maria said. "Mike? Name's Chester." Mike said. "Uh, excuse me?" Zoey said.
Confessional
Zoey: Mike is so sweet. You know I really don't get his old man comedy routine but I bet it's really funny if you're from like France or something.
Confessional ends
B jumped on the wooden plank again causing Lightning to land on top of Scott with his feet on Scott's shoulders. "Lightning strikes!" Lightning said. Brick was still trying to get the axe out of the bottom of the totem pole. "Any time now..." Dave said. "Don't rush me." Brick said. He noticed a squirrel was in the tree next to him. "Go on shoo shoo!" Brick said.
"Back in my day we didn't need fancy saws or axes to cut rope." Mike said. "We could just cut them with stone." Mike threw the rock accidentally hitting the squirrel, making its eyes glow red. Lasers fired from the squirrel's eyes causing the Mutant Maggots to scream and scatter. Ella crawled along the ground singing high notes in a panic.
Confessional
Ella: These poor creatures! I must do my best to sooth their agony!
Confessional ends
Amy was busy laughing at her sisters misfortune with the squirrel. "We could use some help over here!" Scott told her. Amy smirked at him. "Oh, I don't know. It looks like you all have it handled."
"Are you kidding me?" Scott said. "That little purple haired idiot left us earlier and went who knows where, this loser won't stop rattling off spells!"
"They'll work!" Leonard cried off-screen.
"And the other two are arguing over those photographers!" Scott finished referring to Dakota and Sam. "Didn't they get blown away...?" Sam asked. "It doesn't matter!" Scarlett said standing on top of Lightning. "We need just one more person standing on Dawn!" Scott glared at Amy, who sighed. "Fine." she said. "Whatever."
She looked towards B. "You! Get me up there!" B rolled his eyes.
The squirrel meanwhile was still shooting lasers at the other team. One laser bounced off the axe in the mayhem and cut the tree branch holding the totem pole. Brick and the totem pole crashed to the ground. "Mission accomplished." Brick said before the totem pole crashed onto and rolled off of him and into the water.
"Let's move, Maggot!" Jo ordered. Brick groaned.
B grabbed Amy's hand and led her to the wooden plank. "Ow! Watch it! My nails!" Amy complained. B jumped on the saw and Amy crashed into the tree landing on Dawn's shoulders. "Saw the rope!" Dawn said handing her the saw.
Amy grumbled as she did, "Someone else should be doing this! Too good for this kind of thing." She finished cutting the rope and the totem pole crashed to the ground. Sam laughed. "B change your name to A-plus!"
Confessional
B: (smiles)
Scott: (throws a rock against the wall) B thinks he's so smart but once my plan goes into action he won't know what hit him! (rock hits Scott in the face) Ow!
Confessional ends
The Toxic Rats got their Totem in the river and everyone was quickly on riding behind the Mutant Maggots. "They're gaining on us!" Jo said. "It's my duty to inform you ma'am, that we have bigger problems." Brick said pointing at the waterfall ahead of them.
"My first waterfall!" Cameron cheered. "You're way too excited about that!" Dave said. They went over screaming and landed on a hill roughly still going, with the other team right behind them.
"Kids today and their crazy log rides..." Chester muttered. "Mike!" Zoey cried. "Help!" Chester looked behind him and saw Zoey clinging to the end of the Totem Pole. Chester inhaled sharply and blinked.
"Zoey!" Mike cried. "Here hold on tight!" He pulled her up. "Okay." Zoey said wrapping her arms around him. "Thanks Mike." Mike blushed. "No problem." he said.
B gestured to his teammates. "B wants us to lean forward!" Dawn said. As the team did Staci started talking. Again. "Yeah my great-great-uncle invented-" The whole team interrupted her. "We don't care!" they said as they passed the Mutant Maggots.
"Hey! How did they get in front of us?" Jo asked.
Chris and Chef were relaxing in lawn chairs by the cabins. "Ah, it's good to be back." Chris said. Owen ran up to them. "Hey Chris! Get this. The boat wouldn't stop."
"Oh look, it's former player Owen. Who's NOT competing this year."
Owen laughed. "Right, so I swam back to tell ya-WHAT?! Not competing?"
"I'm afraid you and the other classic players have outlived your usefulness. Chef?" Chef put a bomb on Owen's face. The big guy screamed and ran off. Before he could get too far though, Chris pushed a button on a remote causing Owen to explode off the island. Chris and Chef laughed.
The Toxic Rats arrived. "First place!" Lightning said. "Go Team Lightning!" "Tick tock." Chris said pointing to his watch. The timer on the totem pole said a minute and forty seconds left.
"Quick!" Scott said. "Grab the good cabin!" They all picked up the totem pole and placed in front of the good cabin. The timer stopped with one second left. The Toxic Rats cheered when the Mutant Maggots came by. They slipped off the totem pole while it crashed into the Toxic Rats cabin.
Max approached his teammates from the woods. "I see the challenge is over. Did we win?" "Where the hell were you?!" Scott yelled at him. "Off finding an evil lair." Max said. "I wasn't able to find one yet, so our cabin will have to do."
"Are you serious?" Jasmine asked. "Why should you get to stay here at all?" Scott asked.
The timer suddenly went off on the Mutant Maggots Totem and exploded the Toxic Rats cabin. The Toxic Rats all stood there speechless. "Well, we got no home now!" Amy said.
Chris laughed. "Wow. Sucks to be you guys. Seriously, it had a eight person hot tub and air conditioning!" The Toxic Rats groaned.
"Yeah," Staci said. "My great-great-uncle James invented cabins. Before him people had to sleep in the trees." Staci's team glared at get while she talked.
"Regardless..." Chris started to say. "Being the only team to have a cabin still standing, the Mutant Maggots win the first challenge!" Chris said. The Mutant Maggots cheered.
"Where am I gonna sleep?" Lightning asked. "No worries." Chris said. "We have a back up cabin for you. It's every bit as nice as the one you lost." A helicopter brought in a cabin that looked like the Mutant Maggots cabin.
The Toxic Rats groaned. "F***!" Amy said. "Team Rat, I'll see you guys at the campfire for the first elimination ceremony of the season." Chris said laughing and giving Chef a high-five.
The scene flashed over to the elimination ceremony. Every Toxic Rats member was either glaring at each other or glancing nervously at each other. "Toxic Rats, congratulations." Chris started to say. "On being one of the most dysfunctional teams ever! And other teams had to deal with Heather! Says a loot. The votes have been cast and honestly I'm not surprised who got the most votes." He held up a tray of Marshmallows. "Those who receive a regular marshmallow can stay. But this season one player will receive a very special marshmallow. A marshmallow you do NOT wanna eat."
Chef wore a protective suit and showed them a green, glowing marshmallow in a box. "Whoever gets the Marshmallow of Toxic Loserdom is out of the contest which means you can't come back. EVER." Chris said.
"The following players are safe. Scott, Scarlett, B, Jasmine, Lightning, Dawn, Beardo, and Sam." Chris threw them their marshmallows. "Dakota, Topher, and Leonard. You three are safe as well." "Marvelous!" Leonard cheered while Topher smirked at Dakota who glared at him.
Chris looked at the last remaining three campers. "You all gained the most votes. Let's just look at why shall we?"
Confessional
Scott: Because they're a pain in the as-
Confessional cuts to static
"Amy," Chris said. "You weren't too much of a help to your teammates and belittle almost everyone around you all the time." Amy simple rolled her eyes and crossed her arms and legs. "Whatever. Just give me my Marshmallow already. I did more than Max."
"Which...is why you're safe." Chris said tossing her the next Marshmallow. "Max, you left your team hanging today and Staci, you never shut up. EVER." The two remaining campers eyed the last marshmallow. "And the marshmallow of Toxic Loserdom goes to…
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…Staci!" Chris said. "Aw, but I was doing so good." Staci said. She caught the marshmallow of Toxic Loserdom which caused all of her hair to fall out. The other contestants gasped and backed away from her.
"I guess it's the Dock of Shame for me then." Staci said.
"Actually," Chris said. "We came up with something new this season. You'll love it." The scene flashed over to Staci in a catapult. "Say hello to the Hurl of Shame!" Chris said. "Patent Pending."
Chris walked over to a lever beside the Hurl of Shame... "Yeah," Staci said. "Catapults were invented by my great-great-" ...and pulled the lever. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Staci screamed as she was catapulted from the island.
Confessional
Scarlett: As satisfying it would be to see Max go, he still has use. Sorry, Staci. Nothing personal. (Eye twitches)
Topher: This Team has so much drama potential! While I do need the camera view and need to get my name known to the world, I need to stay in this game and show how great I would be on my own show! Maybe even as a host on this show...nobody can resist the Topher Experience! (Winks at the camera)
Jasmine: Oi, this Team is such a mess! If I'm gonna make it to the finale, I need to get them into gear.
Max: My "Teammates" anger should be of no concern. Soon, they'll all tremble in fear when I start my evil plan! (laughs pathetically before slipping and falling on the ground) Ow...
Confessional ends
"One down twenty-six to go." Chris said. "Whose next in line? Find out next time right here on Total…Drama…Revenge of the Island!"
First chapter done! Finally! Thoughts? Leave a review if you want! All feedback is appreciated!
Elimination List
27th Place-Staci