On that particular March morning, it was hot. Hell, that's an understatement; it was sweltering. The kind of sweltering where, even at half-past eight in the morning, your slacks are plastered to your skin and every inhalation of the muggy spring air feels like an eternity and you can't help but feel like you're Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill in field of damnation.

Good old North High- freezing in the winter, freakishly hot in the beginning of March.

And so, the usual crew, minus Asahina, trudged to the clubroom at the remotest corner of the building, which was predictably devoid of any visible sign of air conditioning. Panting like the slaving dogs we were, Koizumi and I plopped down in our usual seats and pulled out our shogi board, content to loll around and fan ourselves with floppy magazines in a half-hearted attempt to keep cool.

"Wish we had some of Asahina's iced tea to keep us cool," Koizumi said, annoyingly chipper as always.

Nagato, reliably blasé as usual, sat underneath the blistering sunshine, poring through a mystery novel.

I suddenly felt a pang of envy at her short skirt and exposed legs, glancing down at my rolled-up sleeves. It goes without saying that I suppressed this thought immediately, just in case Haruhi spontaneously developed powers of telepathically and was inexplicably struck with the notion that cross-dressing was to be our next club activity.

The mental image of Koizumi in Asahina's bunny suit sent a shudder rippling through my body.

Right on cue, the door was flung open with unnatural gusto, the bane of my existence herself charging forward. "Alright, alright, guys, time to get to work!"

Nagato barely spared her glance, Koizumi yawned and continued to fan himself with his newsletter, and I, thoughtful as ever, managed a grumble in greeting.

Haruhi made a face at us. "What's gotten into you all today?"

Being the unsung spokesperson of the SOS Brigade, I, of course, had to be the one to admonish her. "We just finished exams yesterday, Haruhi, and graduation's in two days. Can't you give us a break for once?"

But she only fumed, storming over to her commander's chair in front of our stolen computer. "I can't believe you guys," she huffed. "The fact that we're graduating soon makes this even more important. Don't you guys want to have fun? Our lives are just gonna be boring from here on out, so we gotta live it up while we can!"

"Whatever do you mean?" Koizumi asked, pleasantly enough considering the strained look on his face. I felt an overwhelming surge of pity; the prospect of a perpetually bored Haruhi was not particularly tantalizing, especially for the bottom-feeders who had to stumble along, cleaning up the mess she left in her destructive wake.

"Oh, you know full well what I'm talking about!" she said vehemently, making wide, sweeping gestures. She zeroed in on me. "You're going to the community college, aren't you, Kyon?"

Me? What was she putting me on the spot for? "Um, yeah. Your point being?"

"Well, what do you intend to do after that?"

Haruhi was acting uncharacteristically like my mother. "I dunno, get a job, I guess? Just what any other guy would do."

"Aha!" She sprang to her feet, jabbing a finger in my face. "That's just it! 'Just what any other guy would do,' right? I can practically spell your entire life out for you- you'll graduate with average grades, become an accountant or something stupid like that, get married to a boring girl, yada yada yada. You're going to spend your days as a bystander, and you don't even care?"

"Well, not everyone can be as brilliant as you, Ms. Tokyo-U," I said airily, raising an eyebrow at her. "Frankly, I don't see what's so wrong with being normal. There wouldn't be maniacs like you if all of us were so hopelessly interesting."

"He has a point, Suzumiya-san," Koizumi added, not unkindly.

She heaved a sigh, slumping dejectedly in her chair. "I just wish it wasn't so hot," she whined. "Really, the next step in human evolution would be to evolve built-in ice cream cones or something. Seriously, universe, make it happen!"

If only you knew, Haruhi.

"Suzumiya-san was rather agitated today, don't you think?" Koizumi remarked as we were walking home.

I rolled my eyes. "And I think the sun has risen. Haruhi is Haruhi, after all." Fortunately, now that the sun was dipping below the horizon, the heat had let up, a welcome gust of wind blowing by.

The coy smile never left his face. "Really? I think today was a special case."

I shot him a reproachful look. "What's so funny? If you've got something to say, spit it out."

"I have no idea what's you're talking about," he said, innocuously enough, but I wasn't fooled.

"Honestly, Koizumi. I think I know you well enough by now."

The pleasant smile melted off his face, replaced by an expression of pure exhaustion. Koizumi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I should've known better than to think I could fool you."

"Well, it has been three years," I said lightly, "so I like to think I'm used to your insanity. Even so, give me a moment to brace myself, will you?"

He obliged, allowing me a few seconds to run through all the possible scenarios. Another distortion in time? A displeased Data Integration Thought Entity?

"There's been an increase in the amount of closed space lately," he said uneasily. "Everyone in the Organization is deployed at the moment, and even then we're struggling to keep up. They just keep popping up in the most obscure of places, and well…let's just say I'll be glad when graduation is over."

Of course. Haruhi causing trouble again, leaving poor Koizumi to grovel at her feet. What could possibly be the matter now? Haruhi Suzumiya was practically a celebrity at North High, an enigma that danced from boy to boy, an all-around genius lauded by the teachers that clamored to write her recommendations to universities and sought after by sports teams and art clubs alike, with the glowing pride of her family and a one-way ticket to Tokyo-U to obliterate anything standing in the way of her impending success.

"So you think it's graduation?" I asked, grudgingly curious.

"Well, yes- partly so," Koizumi replied. "It's a stressful time for all of us, what the excitement of graduating and all. As for Haruhi's case...there may be something else weighing on her mind."

"Well?" I said impatiently. "Don't leave me hanging!"

"If you must know," Koizumi said, as uncertain as I'd ever seen him, "I've hypothesized that the root cause of Haruhi Suzumiya's frustration is…you."

"Me?" I gaped at him. "What the hell did I do?"

"Nothing specific, really," he said quickly. "It's more like the fact that you exist."

"So what you're trying to say is that I have to off myself so Haruhi doesn't subconsciously destroy the world?"

Koizumi exhaled. "If only it were that simple," he said morosely, "but alas, it is not. To put it in simple terms: Haruhi is irrevocably in love with you."

No. No way.

I had had it with this conversation. "You have got to be kidding me," I said scathingly. "I'm nothing but a crutch to Haruhi! There's no way that's true."

"No need to be so modest, Kyon," Koizumi said, lips quirking into a little smirk. "And really, my jokes aren't quite that grave. Haruhi's feelings are no laughing matter, you know."

Yeah, Koizumi, when you are joking. Most of the things that came out his mouth were unintelligible and way over my head, revelations and hypotheses that were far too complex for me to wrap my mind around. Me, a normal human, a mere roadblock in the way of the cyclone that was Haruhi Suzumiya? Completely unfathomable.

"Haruhi has always been a bit of an anomaly," Koizumi said wearily, "especially when it comes to you. You've been the one person she's been able to fall back on, and now, with two days left of senior year, she's running out of time. She's still coping with the idea of losing you to the flow of the world, and if the amount of closed space crowding out the city is any indication, she's completely stressed-out over it. It's difficult for her to comprehend, that you'll no longer be her loyal follower, but a mere human, swept along by society. As she so aptly put it, a bystander."

"Well, when you put it like that, it makes me sound like a criminal!" I huffed. "Way to guilt-trip me, Haruhi. What does she want me to do, anyways? Go bohemian with her and live as a starving artist? Like hell I will."

"Well, a full scholarship to Tokyo-U is hardly bohemian," Koizumi quipped.

"Exactly! The great Haruhi Suzumiya is nothing but a hypocrite," I said reproachfully, "but when has she ever been logical? Okay, fine, I get the problem. Now, if I know you as well as I think I do, I'm gonna say that you expect me to do something about it. Well?"

"Your intuition is uncanny," he said, bemused. "As for my opinion? I'll stick to what I've told you a million times: date her."

"With two days left until graduation? No way," I scoffed. "And Haruhi as a girlfriend? I'd rather you stuffed me into Tartarus and left me to rot!"

Koizumi heaved a sigh. "I thought you might say that. But, as it is, my point stands. You're the reason why she's come so undone, there's no question about that."

Come undone. Funny, I thought of Haruhi as exactly the opposite; to me, she was a ball of yarn, composed and immaculate on the outside, but knotted underneath the neat spools of thread, always waiting for me or Koizumi or Nagato to unravel her and clean up the chaos she left in her awake.

But as usual, the enigmatic Haruhi Suzumiya, with her insatiable thirst for adventure, for the unattainable, wouldn't let me in.