A/N: Sorry that it took me a while to post this - I recently had a death in my family, which put me in a mini-depression. But I'm okay now, and I'm back to writing.
Just as a side note, Obama did actually stay in Philadelphia in March 2008 so I'm being accurate :)
Dedicated to Vera Cobb because she really pushed me into finishing this, so here's to you!
Standard disclaimers apply.
Hey there, it's good to see you again
It never felt right, calling this just friends
I'm happy if you're happy with yourself
- All Time Low
Together We'll Move On
Rory stares at the phone number she had just installed in her cell phone. She debates whether or not to call him, or to just show up at his door. After all, she's already in the city, so it's not like he can deny her from coming.
They haven't seen each other in almost two years.
And she doesn't like that at all. Despite their rocky past, she can't deny the large influence he's had in her life. She doesn't want to. Besides, they will soon be pseudo-familial with the upcoming marriage of Luke and Lorelai, which will happen in a few short months.
She doesn't want their first time seeing each other to be at the wedding. That day is going to be absolutely perfect, and she refuses to have her confusing feelings for Jess and their possibly (most likely) awkward reunion shadow the happiness of the day.
So should she just go to Truncheon and when he comes to the door she'll say, "Surprise? Missed me?"
Of course he wouldn't have missed her; she treated him like crap the last time they saw each other. She'll be lucky if he slams the door in her face.
She decides to call him instead.
After the first ring, she scrambles for something to say. After the second, she figures she'll say, "Hi Jess…it's Rory. I was wondering if we could go out for a cup of coffee?" But after the third, she mutters, "Fuck it." She's going to wing it.
"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system. Jess Mariano is not available. At the tone please leave your message or hang up or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press five."
She takes a breath before the tone.
"Hi Jess…it's Rory…uh…" She looks around hoping to find some inspiration on what to say. "I know it's been a while…but I just wanted to say that I'm in Philly for a few days and…I was hoping that maybe we could actually eat dinner and talk sometime. So…yeah…just…call me back soon. When you can. Or if you want to. You could just ignore this whole message; I'll get it. I won't barge down to Truncheon and drag you out or anything. It's completely up to you. But I'd like it, if it makes any sort of difference. Okay, I'm just rambling and I'm sorry I'm taking up space in your voicemail thing so…bye." She hangs up and feels like a complete moron.
"Rory! Are you ready – we're all going out for breakfast," she hears her co-worker ask from the other side of her hotel door.
She grabs her purse and keeps her phone in the front pocket of her pinstriped pants, just in case.
She's walking back to her room when her phone rings. Her heart lurches and her breath hitches in her throat as she slowly pulls out her phone. The last time this happened was earlier in the day and it ended up being her mom, asking for her opinion about the bouquet. If this is another question about the wedding, she may have a fit.
It's Jess.
She closes her eyes and takes a calming breath. "You can do this Rory, you've done this before with him."
She opens her phone and puts it to her ear. "Hello?"
"Well aren't you just a blast from the past?"
She smiles. He sounds okay. "Yeah, I know, sorry."
"Don't be sorry, I'm glad you called."
She remembers him saying that so many years ago in a secret phone call, trying to hide their budding friendship from her mom. "You are?" She sounds dumbfounded.
He laughs a little. "Yeah. We haven't talked in a while. We tend to do that, don't we?"
"Yeah, unfortunately. But we always find each other." It sounds really cliché to her ears.
"So we do." They're silent for a moment. "You mentioned getting together for dinner?"
"Yeah. Or we don't even have to do that. We can do coffee or something. But I don't know with work and stuff…it's preferable for me to meet you at night. So we're not rushed. But whatever works for you. Whatever you want."
"Dinner's good. It'll be nice to get out of here. I'm getting sick of ordering in."
"Blasphemy!"
He laughs. "Wrong person to complain to. Did you have a place in mind?"
"Well, I figured since you're the one who actually lives here…"
"You're hopeless when it comes to these things."
"Sue me. I only know Stars Hollow perfectly. I can walk backwards through that town…with my eyes closed."
"Anyone can with just one visit." He's being honest and he sounds amused, instead of bitter like he would've sounded years ago.
"True," she admits. "So you'll find a cool place?"
"Yeah – just pick a date."
"I mean…" She checks her watch and it's almost six. "I can do it any night. Tonight, tomorrow…"
"Tonight then? Eight?"
So soon. So, so soon. But eight can't come faster.
She tells him the hotel and the street, just in case, and says, "Pick me up at the front?"
"Sure. I'll see you at 7:30."
"Okay…see you."
She isn't sure how to dress, but eventually she decides to go casual, since this is Jess and she's sure that he hasn't changed his stance on dressing up. Crossing her jean-clad legs, she looks down at her flats and wonders what they'll talk about. Everything? Nothing?
A pair of black Converse enters her field of vision and she looks up to see Jess staring at her feet.
"Fascinating. Really. You know, we could just sit on a bench and stare at our shoes instead."
Her head whips up and there he is. Jess Mariano. His hair is shorter than last time; a more tame, modified version of his high school haircut. And he's wearing a navy blue button down, a color she adores on him.
He has that all-too familiar, Jess-patented lopsided grin.
"Jess!" she exclaims before impulsively hugging him.
He hugs her back briefly. "Wasn't expecting that."
She pulls away and flushes. "It's exciting to see an old friend!"
"Okay, okay. So, Rory Gilmore, old friend…" He's kind of mocking her, but it's okay. He nods his head to the street, and she goes to his side. They begin walking down the block. "How are you?"
"I'm good. Graduated from Yale."
"I would hope so."
"Working on an online paper, following Obama."
"Luke said something about you traveling. Look at you, having your own grown-up-Kerouac experience."
She grins. "I guess so. Except I'm not bumming around."
"I don't think Kerouac would be staying at your hotel."
"And I'm not being a con-artist."
He lifts his arm from his side so her stomach lightly collides into him. "We're crossing here."
She feels the familiar heat of his body soaking into hers. She never could figure out how his body was always so warm. So full of fire, almost.
They cross the street, but for the rest of the way to Jess' secret restaurant choice, he doesn't side step away from her; he keeps his close distance.
She smiles as he finds a booth underneath a window. Sitting on opposite ends of the table, she begins to feel nervous about this again. When she first realized that he picked a diner, she thought that maybe the somewhat familiar atmosphere would put her at ease.
"So, we're finally here," she starts, fumbling with her hands on her lap.
"Yeah." He takes a deep breath. This moment has been pushed too many times. "How are you? Let's start there. How's working on that paper?"
Rory grins. "It's been really great. But I miss home…so I can't wait until this campaign ends. I think after this I'm going to try and get a job that lets me stay on the east coast."
He nods understandingly. "Yeah, everywhere else sucks."
She sighs, but smiles. "You're such a downer. Every city has something unique to offer."
He snorts. "You clearly haven't been to Venice Beach."
"No, but I did visit L.A. and it was great! Although some of the people were a little out there…"
He sighs. "You're too polite."
She shrugs. "What can I say? Some things don't change." She stares at him, thinking how he's changed so much, yet so little at the same time. Maybe that's what growing up is really about. "What about you? When is that sequel coming out?"
He's sheepish and she's kind of amused by it. "Almost done with it. But some guy called me the other day. Apparently he liked my crappy first book a lot and is considering taking my second book and publishing it…if it's any good."
Her jaw drops. "Oh my God, Jess! That's incredible! Wow, I'm so happy for you. You really deserve it."
He smiles. "Thanks. But we'll see. I don't know about leaving Truncheon."
"It's a great opportunity. I'm sure they will all understand. Although they'll be devastated because you're their best author."
He only shakes his head, but he's still smiling, almost embarrassed of the praise. He never used to smile this much. She really likes it.
"I'm really excited for the wedding," she says, changing the topic for his sake. "It's going to be really nice."
An elderly waiter comes by and takes their orders: cheeseburgers, fries, and coffee. Rory also orders a basket of bread, which Jess gives her a funny look for. As soon as the waiter leaves, Jess rounds on her.
"What's with the bread?"
Rory shrugs. "I don't know. I'm just used to having bread before dinner now. Been to too many restaurants with them. Besides, sometimes they bounce."
Jess rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He shakes his head. "Is it possible for you to have any more quirks?"
"Oh yeah. For a Gilmore? Always. You haven't even met Paul Anka."
Jess' eyebrows furrow. "The singer?"
"No. My mom's dog. Or, well, Luke's dog too, soon."
"Huh. That dog probably has a ton of problems."
"No! Not really…"
He gives her a look.
"Okay, yeah. She's got some strange…demands. Which we have a list of."
"You do realize that's not normal, right?"
"It makes him a perfect member of the Gilmore family."
He can't deny that, so he lifts the glass of water on the table and brings it to his lips.
"So. Are you happy about them getting married?" she inquires, curious.
He puts the glass down. "Yeah. Those two need to get hitched. They needed to over five years ago."
She nods. "I know. They should've gotten married sooner but then the whole April thing…ugh. That was awful."
"My cousin…and you'll be my step-cousin!"
The waiter comes back with her coffee and breadbasket. She takes a sip, nods, finding the coffee acceptable before responding, "That's so weird! We're not going to mention that ever again." She shudders. She doesn't like to think of him as family, even if it is only going to be by marriage.
"Duly noted." He looks up and smirks a little. "But what happens when they have a kid? That means it'll be your half-sibling and it'll be my cousin. I wonder how that works?"
She laughs. "Can we stop talking about that?"
"Yeah, yeah…cuz."
She tosses a roll at him.
"Now Miss Gilmore! Do you really want to start a food fight with the master of food fights?"
"What are you talking about? Did you start a food fight in Stars Hollow without telling me? How dare you. That was my ultimate dream, you know, being part of a food fight. Too bad Chilton was really strict. And the tables we ate on were this nice mahogany wood."
"That's why I got sent to Stars Hollow in the first place. The trouble I got into? I started a food fight."
Her eyes widen. "Are you kidding me? And here I was at the time thinking that you had gotten in trouble with the law!"
"No, no, not that time. I had just seen Animal House the night before and I figured it would be pretty cool. Besides, this guy was a total douche to me during lunch. He kept badgering me while I was reading."
"So you did the most logical thing: spit food in peoples' faces?"
He grins. "I chucked a plate of mashed potatoes. And at least I can say that I was part of a food fight in high school."
She sighs. "True." They're silent for a moment. "I'm so jealous of you!" she exclaims childishly. "I feel like you're so worldly. You've backpacked around the country; you've experienced some of the classic high school traditions..."
He shrugs. "Not really. It's not like I've left the borders of the U.S. like you have."
"Europe has some bad memories," she says, her finger tracing the rim of her water glass.
"Why?"
"The last time I went there was with my grandma…and I didn't speak to my mom." She hates that time in her life. Dean, the second time around, was such a mistake…that Jess knows nothing about.
"But your first time was good, right?" he asks. She wonders if he asked this because he had just left without a word before. He's possibly wondering if he tainted the trip.
"Yeah, it was. My mom and I had fun…although I won't deny that thinking about you was painful. I mean, I didn't think about you during the day and stuff. There wasn't a lot of time. But at night…sometimes it was a little much."
He nods. And then they're silent. They're inching closer to territory that they haven't dared talked about, and Rory's a little afraid.
"Your birthday is coming up, isn't it?" she asks, backtracking a bit.
"Yeah. The twenty-second." He seems relieved at the change of topic.
"You know, I always thought March was the perfect month for you."
He raises an eyebrow at her. "Really? I thought so too, but I wasn't sure of March's feelings for me, so it's good to get a third party's opinion on this."
She would hit his arm if he weren't sitting across from her. "It's just an unpredictable month. Sometimes it'll feel like winter, sometimes it'll feel like spring. You're always a surprise too. Like now. I didn't think you would agree to see me. Especially since I was an asshole last time."
He looks at her with amusement flickering in his eyes. "An asshole? I'm sorry Rory, but I can't imagine you being an asshole. You were kind of a bitch, I'll admit, but not an asshole. I was an asshole as a kid."
"No, you were a jerk sometimes, I'll be honest. But not an asshole."
"That's nice to hear."
"Jess?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why did you leave?" And there it is.
He doesn't need to prompt her for clarification; he knows exactly what she's talking about. "Because…I had to get my life on some sort of track. And I thought seeing Jimmy, my dad, would give me some sort of an example, or possibility." He penetrates her with his dark eyes, and her breath is stolen. "I'm sorry about that. I couldn't tell you. As you know, I wasn't so eloquent back then."
"At times. You had your rare moments when you were. But…you said you'd call me."
He shrugs apologetically. "I did though, didn't I?"
"But you didn't say a word."
"I know."
"Why?"
His eyes drift down to his lap. "I didn't know what to say. But at the same time I had a million things to say. A very painful and annoying conundrum."
She looks down at her hands. It doesn't kill her to think about that time in her life, but it's still a dull ache. He had really hurt her then. "How was living with your dad?" she asks softly.
"Weird. But I definitely found out where over half my peculiarities came from."
"Really?" She's trying to picture a clone of Jess, but an older one with grey streaks in his hair. She can't picture him living in California though.
"His book collection is both of ours combined."
"Get out of here. For real?"
He leans forward, a glint in his eyes that she hasn't seen in a long time. "I walked into his room with all his books and records and I thought to myself, 'Holy shit, this guy is my father.' It was the strangest thing finding out where it came from."
"Yeah, I thought that when I met my grandpa."
They're silent again, but Rory's concentrating on the condensation on the outside of her glass.
"Alright, Gilmore, what is it?"
She looks up. "What?"
"You want to tell me something but you're too embarrassed to say it. Come on, just tell me."
It kind of scares her that he still remembers her facial expressions. Maybe it's because she can be so easily read, and after an hour together, he can generally read her again.
She's afraid to think of the possibility that he remembers, after all these years, all the miniscule details of her being.
She shakes her head. "Nothing. It's stupid. I'm…ashamed of it, really. I don't want you to think any less of me." She looks down and blushes.
She doesn't know why this is bothering her so much, his opinion on this dark part of her life. He had already seen her during one of her worst…
"Rory, I don't think you can shock me more than you did four years ago when you dropped out of Yale," he says in what she thinks is a comforting way, or at least it is for Jess.
She looks away from him. "I slept with Dean."
His brow furrows at her. "Okay…?" He waits for her to say more, but her lips are pursed and she doesn't seem to want to continue unless he wants her to. "When?" he prompts her, figuring that's a good question to start with.
Her in take of breath is shaky. "A little while after you asked me to run away with you."
Then it clicks. "While he was married," he says, but it doesn't sound like his voice.
"It was so stupid. I regret it so much. And I didn't want that to be my first time!" She pauses, gathering herself. "You know, as a girl, I…didn't dream…but I guess I just thought that my first time would be with a boyfriend that I loved and trusted…and it would be absolutely perfect. Isn't that what every girl wants?"
He doesn't know what to say. His hands are fumbling on his lap, and he wants to reach out and hold her hand. How long has it been since their fingers laced together? It was one of the few things in his life that had always felt right to him.
"Why'd you do it?" he inquires, feeling hollow. Even though his hatred for Dean and his sense of twisted competition with him died a long time ago, he still feels as if he lost something.
She looks up and shyly meets his eyes, which don't stray. It's comforting that he's able to look her in the eyes, so she begins explaining. "I've always been comfortable. For my entire life. I've had all of Stars Hollow constantly supporting me. And Dean…he just added to that. He was the perfect boyfriend. But eventually…I didn't like feeling comfortable in every part of my life." She then manages to smile a little. "And then you happened to come into my life right at that moment and you were exciting, dangerous, different…you were all the things I never realized I wanted to be. And I wanted it so badly when I did."
He fondly smiles as he remembers a summer afternoon under the trees, far away from everyone else. It was just the two of them. A spontaneous kiss, a rush of pent up feelings, and a flash of passion that can only be felt by teenagers new to falling in love.
"But then I started college and I wasn't comfortable at all. I was adjusting and it was really difficult. And then you came back and brought back all these feelings of being on the edge and your asking me to run away with you! My God!" Her eyes widen and everything seems to fall into place. "There's a reason why I went back to Dean then – he was always a sense of comfort for me."
He leans back in his seat. "Are you…trying to blame this on me?"
"No! No, no. I'm not. I'm just saying that…having both of you in my life again in a completely new and uncomfortable setting was just…it was like a perverse reversal of what happened when you first moved to Stars Hollow. Does that make sense?"
He looks away from her, and she knows that he's trying to make sense of the inner workings of her mind. She's pretty sure that he'll figure it out, but she hopes that he'll understand.
"I think I get it." He then shakes his head. "I can't believe you would do that. It's not you."
She bites her bottom lip. She hates when he's disappointed in her, because she knows it takes a lot to make him judge. "I know. I told you that I regret it. So much." She flushes; letting the same thoughts rush in that had so often plagued her mind after she and Dean had ended for the final time.
She debates about telling him that she wishes he were her first, that she would even take losing her virginity at that kid's end of the year party. While she probably would've regretted it soon after, in the long run, she knows she wouldn't. But, ultimately, she keeps all of this to herself. Perhaps one day she'll tell him, but not now; their relationship's a little too fragile.
Their food comes and they begin to eat in silence.
"What happened to the blonde guy? You crazy kids still together?" he asks as he simultaneously pours salt and pepper onto his plate.
"No. We broke up a year ago."
"Huh."
She immediately knows he's extremely interested in why, especially since the last time they'd seen each other she had made a big deal about being in love with Logan. "He proposed, actually. Before I graduated."
He stops mid-dip. "Really."
"Yeah. In front of everyone at my grandparents' house. It was awful. "
He nods understandingly. If he were to propose to her (not that he would…) he would've done it in private. "Sorry 'bout that."
"And I told him I'd think about it…but I knew I wasn't going to say yes. I was twenty-two! I was just about to step into the real world and do all these things. It was just too soon to think about settling down like that."
"He didn't take too well to that," he supplies, finishing his dipping and eating the fry.
"No. He made it into some sort of ultimatum, I guess. He thought that since I didn't want to marry him, I therefore didn't want to be with him." She puts her burger down and thinks about what she had just said. "You know…that was so Logan. Everything was so…extreme with him. Everything was an ultimatum. He really didn't get…" She tries to find the right words to describe it, but she fails.
"I think we were the best when it came to that – always having a grey area. Never dealing with extremes. Technically…we didn't really break up if you think about it. And we didn't really have an official start either."
She hums in agreement. That's true; their relationship just sort of came and went…and then resurfaced…and died again…and it continued on this pattern for over seven years.
So does that mean they're resurfacing? Or maybe it's not even that; maybe they just are.
"It is what it is…" she murmurs, repeating what he said in the publishing house. She thinks she finally understands what he may've meant.
He nods. "Yeah."
She swallows. "Have you…been seeing anyone? Now that you know everything that has happened in my romantic life…"
He shrugs. "No one important."
She feels like she's stayed with him far closer that she allowed him to. And she suffers guilt. "Oh."
"I'm still not great at the relationship thing."
"You weren't bad," she says quietly.
"Thanks."
"I'm the one who's dysfunctional."
"What do you expect? We both didn't have the best of role models for relationships. I'd say we're both screwed up in that department."
Very true. As much as Rory loves Lorelai, she knows that Lorelai was even more messed up when it came to serious relationships. It was only recently that Lorelai was able to find that equilibrium.
Rory hopes she can find it soon.
"I don't want to be like my mom," she murmurs.
"You won't," he states, almost bored.
She looks at him questioningly.
"You're different from your mom. Trust me, if you were more like her, I probably wouldn't have pursued you in high school."
She finds herself flushing but she doesn't know why. How can he be so open now? It's confusing, especially since all she ever wanted years ago was for him to bare his soul a little. Did she really have such an effect on him like he said three years ago in her grandparents' house?
"You said that you couldn't have published The Suspect if it weren't for me. Do you really mean that?" she inquires, feeling vulnerable.
She almost wishes she didn't ask that. On one hand, that statement alone managed to wake her up from that slump she was in. If it weren't true…then it was all a lie. She doesn't know how she'll be able to handle that. But on the other hand, that responsibility, that title of "savior" frightens her; she's afraid that she could never live up to that.
Which is why she enrolled in Yale again, trying to catch up with the rest of her class. Why she ignored Logan soon after, knowing he was a distraction. Why she doubled her effort on the paper, trying to help herself achieve her dream, despite Mitchum's words grating her nerves whenever she thought about it.
Why she declined Logan's proposal, knowing that it wouldn't meet expectations. Maybe in the eyes of society, others, like people in Stars Hollow, would see it as a true success.
But not Jess.
Her eyes widened. Was she subconsciously thinking of Jess every time she's faced with a decision? No, that can't be. She did decide to continue dating Logan while he was in London, and she didn't want to break up with him after rejecting his proposal.
"You know the answer, Rory," he says.
"You've lied before," she counters weakly.
"I haven't lied to you since…" he trails off, a trace of sheepishness reflecting on his face.
Since he lied about school. She knows the first time he was completely honest with her was when he said "I love you."
"My turn. Why didn't you say anything?" he asks, his eyes focused on her.
She almost wants to cower under his gaze. "When?"
"You know when."
She scrapes her bottom lip with her teeth.
"I know you still had some feelings left over. You had to have," he continues. When she remains silent, his eyes widen, and then narrow. "You loved me too. Didn't you?"
She bites her lip hard. "It had only been a few months. You were really important to me," she whispers, as if it were a justification. "But you could've stayed."
"No, I couldn't."
"Why not?" Her voice cracks.
"No, you have to answer my question first."
"What are we, twelve?"
"Just answer the question, Rory Gilmore. Why didn't you say anything? You could've easily stopped me from going. You didn't even have to move, if you didn't want to. You could've said something. Anything. My name. A wordless exclamation. I'm not denying it was stupid of me to run away…but you could've done something too."
"Because I would've taken you back," she blurts.
He freezes, shakes his head a little. "What?"
"But I couldn't. You left! I was so hurt for so long! I just imagined everyone being so disappointed in me; they wouldn't understand. They never understood us. And I couldn't deal with that again, especially with college. I told you, my freshman year was hard. I had too much on my plate."
He clenches his jaw. "That doesn't make any sense. You were eighteen. Why did you still give a shit about that town? You know it screwed us over."
"Because it was home. It's still home. And I thought the high opinion of everyone in Stars Hollow was worth more than your love. It makes mathematical sense, having an entire town love and support you is worth more than just one person's."
There's a tense silence while they pick at their foods, no longer hungry.
"What are we trying to get at here?" she says, breaking the silence with a shaky voice.
He sighs, his jaw tightening as he looks away from her. She's reminded of when they used to date, when he would shut her out. But after a few seconds, his eyes soften as he looks at her. "I don't know," he admits with total honesty.
She nods, not even knowing herself.
She can see him peaking at his watch, and she immediately knows the night is over. "Time to go?" she asks. Of course it is, they've revealed a lot more than either of them had planned.
He nods. "Yeah. I have a meeting tomorrow about a possible book tour."
She gasps. "No! Really?"
"It would be local…not like a national book tour or anything like that."
"That's still cool. You'd be able to go to the wedding though, right?"
"Yeah. If not I'll go AWOL."
"To your own book tour?"
"There's a first for everything."
He pulls out his wallet and she's about to protest, but then she figures that he never allowed her to pull out her money once, so he's probably not going to start now.
Once he pays for their meals, they silently walk out of the diner and back to her hotel.
She wonders what it would be like to sleep with him. The thought makes her blush, and she internally beats herself up for thinking like that because it's impossible. But she can't help but wonder. Jess is the only one of her boyfriends whom she hasn't slept with…
Dean really should've been that person.
She sighs and loops her arm through his, which he bends to accept hers. "I think this was good," she says.
He nods. "Yeah."
"So…the past is the past? Done? Gone? Left the premises?"
He smiles. "Yes, done. Gone. Left the premises."
"We're good?"
He nudges her. "Yes. We're fine." He looks up for a second before telling her, "Philly's cool at night. Look."
She does. For the rest of the walk they don't speak. She just looks and breathes in the moment. They've done enough talking; their silence already fills in the empty spaces.
They stop in the entrance of the hotel, and for some reason, she wants to continue walking around the city with him.
"You know what I've always wanted to do," Rory starts, slipping her arm out of his.
"What?" He has a smile on his face, as if he knows that whatever she's going to say next is going to be completely random and borderline silly.
And he's right. "I've always wanted to…go around a city at night. Do crazy stuff until the sun comes up."
"Pulling a Holden?"
"Kind of. But without the hooker."
"Because that's just too crazy."
"Shut up! I can be crazy. Remember when I skipped school and went to the city? That was pretty crazy."
"Fine, I'll give you that since it was a crazy first-time skip. But come on, that's not enough."
"Alright…I jumped off a seven story platform with an umbrella."
He leans back a bit and blinks. "What? That's not crazy, that's suicidal."
"No, it was at Yale and a bunch of physics majors planned it out. It was fun."
She thinks about Logan, who reached out and grabbed her hand before the fall. It makes her a little sad that she never had proper closure with him, but she'll get over it; she already has. She'll always appreciate what he's done for her.
"Well, I guess I stand corrected then."
She smiles and looks down at the space between them. "Do you regret it?"
"Regret what?"
"Anything that you've done. I've told you all my regrets."
"I only have one, and I already told you that."
Jess' not talking to her about his problems in high school.
"That's it?"
"Everything happened for a reason. Not trying to act like Liz or anything, but…the decisions I made helped me get here. Tonight, with you. How can I regret that?"
She kind of wants to cry, so she brings him into a tight hug so he can't see her teary eyes. "You're amazing."
"No, I'm not. Stop with the drama. I'll see you in the summer for the wedding." He pulls away and lightly taps her arm with a small smile.
"Right. Wedding. Fun times." She nods, looking up at the sky so her tears will dry out.
"Where are you off to after Philly?"
"Dover."
"Cool. Never been."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I took a bus through the state once, but I didn't stay."
She nods again. "Hey Jess?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you…keep in contact with your dad? At all?"
He looks down a little and purses his lips. "Yeah. Well, not really with Jimmy. I talk to Lily, mostly."
"Who's that?" Why is she feeling jealous?
"Jimmy's girlfriend's kid. She likes to read."
"How old is she?"
"Thirteen or fourteen."
"Oh. Cute." Why is she relieved? Let the poor boy get on with his life! He can't always be hung up her!
"Yeah. She's fourteen going on eighty."
Rory laughs. "Oh wow, one of those girls."
"Yeah. She's kind of a misfit. Used to read in cupboards and steal my books."
"That I could never do. I need a ton of light to read."
"I know," he responds with a smile.
Oh. She swallows. "And I know you will read in any light, even if there's barely any at all. And you refuse to turn on a light. You're going to be farsighted soon, Mariano."
He smiles knowingly. "We'll see."
"Yeah, we will."
They both look down and smile.
"So. I'll see you in June," he says, taking a step back.
"Yeah. See you. Good luck with your writing. And your tour. And everything else," she says in a rush, making him laugh.
"Yeah. You too." Then suddenly he smirks, and she feels like she's sixteen. "'Night Rory," he says in that voice that takes her back eight years. Has it really been that long?
"'Night, Dodger," she calls after him as he begins to walk away.
He turns on his heel to look at her, and this time around, he's grinning.
It's almost like a second chance.
From there on out, it's most likely starting over, or maybe just picking up where they left off.
A/N: I'm actually nervous to know peoples' reactions, because I'm ridiculously insecure in writing mature-Jess. But I hope this was somewhat enjoyable.
Please review!
MissGoalie