This little thing has been sitting in my writing folder for years. It's pretty much crack on a pogostick. I will take requests.
"Why is Maggie threatening the living day lights out of Soundwave and Megatron?" Sam blinked as he and most of the other humans - that included Cybertronians turned human - looked in on the rather large base kitchen/messhall. Maggie was standing there with her hands on her hips, Soundwave looking back impassively while Megatron seemed to have gone white.
Clearly, whatever she was saying was having an effect on the silvery-grey haired male.
"Something about 'milo'." Sam looked at the older man that had appeared beside him. No-one he knew, but he seemed to be Autobot. Maybe.
"And timtams." Sam thought that voice was Optimus, though the watching gaggle made it harder to tell who was who. Plus it'd sounded female, and the last he knew, the mechs turned female had been off with Sarah, Mikaela, and Carly doing ... something he did not want to think about.
"Vegemite." Ironhide chimed in with a smirk around his beer. Four-ex, he called it.
"Oh." Sam shook his head. He'd found the vegemite to be disgustingly feral when he'd tried it once, along with most of the other humans. The ones who hadn't had been the Cybertronians. Megatron, Soundwave, Mirage, Shockwave, and Sunstreaker preferred eating it out of the jar.
Now he was thinking about it, there was a jar in Soundwave's hand.
"-Do you understand me?" Maggie finished, snatching the empty jar from the telepath and all but slamming it onto the counter.
"Affirmative." Soundwave nodded once, as did Megatron, albeit more slowly. Maggie nodded, fished out her wallet then handed over a fifty dollar note. "Then go buy me more. And if you want any, buy it."
Sam's jaw dropped. They'd eaten out of her supplies? Ohhh. They were lucky to be alive. Everyone knew how possessive the Australian was over her food.
"Mission: Accepted." Soundwave took the money and calmly walked off, Laserbeak and Frenzy seeming to come out of nowhere to join his side. Megatron followed with a fast walk. He'd yet to master the art of running - thankfully if you asked Sam - but he could fast walk. Everyone knew Megatron was only retreating as he did not yet have the coordination to fight as a human, or the weapons to back him up.
And Maggie was terrifying. All humans females were to Cybertronian minds.
The assembled group let them pass, a few human soldiers already peeling out to escort them on the task, while, as one, the rest turned back to look at Maggie.
"What?" The woman said, hands on hips, eyebrow raised.
"Nothing."
Never, Sam concluded, come between an Australian and milo, timtams and vegemite, ever.