I Gave You My All

His words echoed in her ears, the smell of his cologne still surounding her as she laid wrapped in the foreign arms of another. She'd lied to herself for months, saying she belonged in these arms. But she couldn't convince herself that she was right.

-Flashback-

"I want you to leave him," he whispered, the arms she loved so much wrapped possessively around her waist.

"I want you to myself. No more sharing, not now."

-End Flashback

The bitter taste of self-hatred slipped down her throat as she swallowed nervously, playing with her fingers.

Her eyes were fixated on the wall, trying to find some bit of strength.

"I'm having an affair," she said softly, unmoving as she spoke.

The sudden coldness of his abandonment swam around her, leaving Rachel lying alone in their bed. She'd played the part of adoring girlfriend to him for much too long. She was done with her role of the future Mrs. Hudson.

"What the Hell, Rachel?" his voice echoed throughout the barren walls, Rachel never having the heart to decorate a home that wasn't hers.

She refused to look at him still staring at the wall in front of her.

"How long?"

"Summer of senior year."

"Jesus Christ!" He screamed, Rachel wincing slightly. "Three fucking years, Rachel?"

She could only nod to him. It probably would have gone on longer if they hadn't been careless.

"How could you do this to me? To us?"

"Just as simply as you slept with Quinn. You think I didn't know you were sleeping with someone when I continued to play the 'virgin' card on you? It only took me a second to figure out with who." She turned to face him completely, sitting up on their bed.

"Then why stay with me all these years? Why take my ring?"

"Because sometimes you just need a safety blanket."

And she didn't hear another word, only the slam of the front door.

-RJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ-

The water poured down on her as she stood outside of his apartment building. The courage she'd had with Finn was gone now as she stood on 52nd street, the doorman smiling to her knowingly as she got into the elevator to the ninth floor,.

"Rachel?" he said as he looked around, ushering her inside quickly as he took in her soaking wet appearance. "What are you doing? You know this isn't good-"

"I told Finn."

They were both silent, Rachel trying to analyze his reaction. "He doesn't know it was you. Just that it's been since high school."

"I wouldn't care if he did know it was me. Bad press isn't my main concern," he muttered. "He could have hit you."

"But he didn't," she said simply, looking at him and feeling significantly smaller under his gaze.

"Better get you dried off. You can't get sick," he said, moving into his bedroom and turning on the bath. "You better get warmed up first."

"I never pegged you for the over-protective type," she said with a renewed lightness to her voice. And his smile only brought one upon her own face.

"Well, there's a first time for everything, obviously. If our current situation proves anything, it is that everything is in the realm of possibility." If she wasn't so confused about her life at that current moment, Rachel would have laughed.

"Well, go on, get in the tub. I'll go put on some tea for you or-"

"Jess," she called out as he started to leave the bathroom, turning around to look at her. "Please don't leave me alone."

He just simply nodded to her, moving to help her rid herself of her wet clothing before taking off his own and following her into the bath.

At nineteen, Rachel found herself pregnant and completely lost in her life, but at least she wasn't alone.

-RJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJRJ-

"Do you regret any of it?" he had asked her later that night when they laid in his bed together, his arms tightly wrapped around her.

She was silent for a few moments, her head resting against his bare chest. "No, because then I wouldn't have either of you," she said simply, moving his hand to rest upon her stomach. "If I hadn't been alone and miserable in my relationship with Finn, I wouldn't have gotten over my fear of letting you back in. So no, I don't regret anything because this moment, right now, is the happiest I've ever been."

Well, that's the first chapter to my St. Berry series of one-shots. This is kind of the chapter to set up where they both are and what not. I may do a flashback chapter later on explaining how they got there. Tell me what you think? I should have the next chapter up shortly.