Author's Notes

I love Leah. I seriously do. So I was writing a chapter for TBM, and I got thinking about Leah. An idea took root in my brain, and now I'm being very, very, selfish and writing it even though I have three other stories I should be updating. Oh well, I couldn't resist!

Gone:

For the first few weeks, Leah felt nothing.

She sat in her room. Sometimes she would curl up in a ball, rocking back and forth. Sometimes she would lie on her bed and shake like she was possessed. Sometimes she would gaze out the window, perfectly still.

But Leah never cried.

Leah's grief was too great to be expressed through mere tears. Or shrieks, or words. So Leah didn't speak.

Her thoughts never varied. Sam… my Sam… why? How could he? My Sam… gone, all gone…why.

My Sam.

Sleep never came to Leah – her intolerable nights were just an extension of her unbearable days.

Leah didn't eat. She wasn't hungry. Hunger was a pain, and individual pains were too small to be noticed now. They all merged together into a ripping, shredding mass that slashed away her very identity.

Because she knew she wasn't Leah anymore.

Leah was the girl Sam had loved. She was the girl who had been promised forever by a man she knew would never hurt her. Leah was the lively, spunky, teenager who was too smart for her own good. Leah was that girl with a beautiful smile who was always laughing. The one who looked up at the stars and saw all the people that had died happy. The one who looked out at the ocean and saw love, sometimes rough, sometimes calm, but always beautiful. The one that saw compassion in a pine tree, and strength in a pebble. Leah was the girl who had him. Leah was the girl who had it all.

No. She wasn't Leah anymore.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

How ironic that it would be him who brought her back.

Leah was in one of her statue phases, just staring out the window. She was examining the cracks in the sidewalk that led up to the porch from her bedroom above it. Out of context, a bare foot appeared on the pavement. Leah was too wrapped up in the pain to register the surprise that should have come with the sight, but she realized that the shoe wasn't supposed to be there.

A bare, muscular, calve followed the foot, then thighs in cutoff sweats. Leah lost the interest she had never really had, and shambled lifelessly to her bed.

She was on her side, staring at the wall, when her mother walked in. "Leah." Said Sue Clearwater in a heart-broken, compassionate voice. "Someone is here to see you, Leah. Please try to keep an open mind."

Leah stood up, keeping her eyes on the over-long carpet. She pulled on the doorknob with just as much force as was necessary, staggered down the hallway, and tripped down the stairs.

When Leah reached the door and looked up for the first time, everything stopped.

Everything.

"Go. Away." She spat. "Now."

"Leah, I –"

"Sam. Go. Away."

It was Sam who stood in the doorway. Her Sam. He was wearing nothing but a pair of cutoff sweats.

"We need to talk, Leah. I can't begin to tell you –"

"I don't want to hear it!" she snapped, the first words she'd said with any animation for weeks. She lowered her voice. "You said it, Sam. You told me. I know."

"But Leah –"

"Sam. Please, don't do this again. Please." She closed her eyes, fighting to remain independent of the situation.

He stared at the floor. "It's so… complicated."

"Just say it." She shot the words at him like bullets. "I'm not good enough. I get it."

"Oh, no, Leah, no," he shook his head in despair. "Leah, it's not you. It's me… and her."

"Emily? You mean my cousin? My best friend?" Leah was starting to shriek. "I can't believe you would do that! Either of you!" she dropped back to a low voice. "I loved you, Sam. I still love you. And look what that love did to me."

He took it all in. Her body was thin and frail from malnutrition, and her eyes had bags under them from not sleeping. But it went deeper than that. There was a darkness in Leah now. A deadness. Where was the girl he had loved? When he stared into her eyes, all he could see was resentment, anger and pain. Her eyes had been like a window to Leah's soul, but when he looked into them now, all that was there was black.

"I love you too, Leah. I just…"

"Love her more." Leah finished bitterly.

Sam looked at the ground.

Leah stared at his bare chest. He was so beautiful. But she couldn't look at him. Because it just reinforced the pain. He wasn't hers.

He didn't love her.

"Go away, Sam!" She screamed. "I can't believe you would drag me through this again!"

Sam mumbled something, looking like he was intense pain.

Leah slammed the door in his face and bolted it. She dashed upstairs.

What Sam had said before the door crashed shut didn't matter. Because no matter what he said, all Leah could hear were the words he had said to her that day on the beach.

"I just don't love you anymore."

And for the first time, Leah cried.

Author's Notes:

I am trying to decide what to do with this. OneShot? Or should I turn it into a story?

Here's the deal. If I get over 20 reviews, I'll update. So if you liked it, please review!