All Roads Lead to Home
Momoi wants what she can't have while Aomine wants the status quo; Kagami wants to shine the brightest while Kuroko simply wants; Takao wants to close his eyes while Midorima wants to understand Momoi's obsession with safaris. A story of six basketball idiots finally getting what they need and in the process finding their way home.
Part I: Waiting games (with no end in sight)
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Taiga knows that it is impossible to win all the time. That is why, fresh after a heart-breaking loss to Touou during their last summer tournament match, he merely nods to Kuroko when Momoi approaches them, biting her lip and asking for a moment of Kuroko's time. He ignores the panic that flashes over his partner's face, knowing that from her angle, Momoi will only see the grim acceptance that settles in its wake. As Kuroko turns to face her, Taiga is surprised to see how much that acceptance looks like defeat.
While Momoi has never made a secret of her feelings, she has also never presented herself seriously, and Taiga wonders what Kuroko will say. He knows, as perhaps only Aomine does, that Kuroko does not return her feelings. But Taiga suspects that deep down Momoi knows as well - why else would she choose to confess at such an inappropriate time? Still, he turns and heads down the hallway, acting as lookout and keep-away for the woman who is poised to take what he can never win.
Every step feels heavy and deliberate, which is par for the course after a game like this. What is new are the thoughts that harry him, reminding him not only of his loss on the court, but off it. Momoi is, while absolutely terrifying, a beautiful, intelligent, and talented woman. She's also Aomine's best friend, and could easily act as a bridge between Kuroko and his old light, working to repair their broken friendship. All these were good things. Kuroko deserved such a woman. If not only for her own merits, than for what she could do for him.
So then why were his thoughts turning dark? Why was his body humming with an anger that he could not simply blame on their loss? Why did he feel so awkward and stupid and slow, like a lumbering, unwelcome giant?
Taiga didn't know, but he suspected that even were he to learn why, it wouldn't change a thing. Momoi would still be Momoi - smart, beautiful, female. Kuroko would still be Kuroko - dedicated, mysterious, male. And Taiga, standing ten feet away with his arms crossed and his back to them, giving them a semblance of privacy even when he felt like the largest idiot in the world...well. He was a lot of things, but never the right thing, and he suspected he never could be.
"Kagamin!"
He spun, so deep in thought that he hadn't heard the sound of her approach. Her face was streaked with tears and the outcome of her interview was obvious, and he racked his brain for something to say. She made his effort moot when without warning, she threw herself at his chest, wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.
Taiga froze, arms outstretched and thick eyebrows drawn together in consternation. Crying women were nearly terrifying as stray dogs, especially when he knew them and they were friends with men as large as him who may very well kill him for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Taiga was also quite kind, and Momoi's shaking shoulders made him want to cry a little, so he cautiously placed a hand on top of her head, and began to pat her gently. He cast around for Kuroko, but the boy must have ducked into an adjoining hallway as he was nowhere in sight. Taiga scowled and fished for his cell phone with his free hand. Once located, it took him longer than he'd like to select Aomine's number. Against him, Momoi's sobs continued, soaking his shirt and washing away the regret he had attempted to stave off. Her sorrow lifted his spirits, and that meant he wasn't a good person, oh no, not at all. Still, he figured holding her offset some of his bad karma, and it was with this in mind that he brought his phone to his ear and waited for the call to connect.
Aomine answered on the third ring, and sounded frazzled. "Little busy here, Bakagami. Whaddya' want?"
Taiga glanced down at the Momoi before responding. "Need you to come find me. You anywhere near the locker rooms?"
"I don't have time for this. I gotta find Satsuki; Coach is going nuts-"
"Dai-chan?" Momoi picked her head up at the sound of her childhood friend's voice. She removed one hand from its iron clutch on Taiga's ribcage to wipe a tear. "Tell him - I need…" she trailed off, eyes watering up again. "Dai-chan."
Luckily, Taiga had moved the phone away from his ear, thinking that she wanted to speak to him herself. Aomine had heard enough, and with a muttered I'll be there in a second, he hung up. Taiga exhaled slowly, resuming his awkward reassurances, gradually getting used to the silky smoothness of Momoi's hair, and the press of her forehead against his chest. Yet even as he did so his mind was still a traitor, wondering thoughts like just where the hell is Kuroko, anyway, and would he feel like she does - all thin bones and soft hair and warm skin?
It was at times like these that he came close to hating himself for wanting something he could never have.
Aomine arrived a few minutes later with none of his customary swagger and shoulders nearly as tense as Momoi's. She was deposited from his arms to Aomine's with no fuss at all, and from the resigned look on his face Taiga judged that there had been another player in this game and he wasn't surprised at the outcome either. With a clipped nod in his direction, Aomine placed an arm around Momoi's shoulders, and with a finesse earned through their long years together, he steered her away. Taiga could barely make out Aomine's low tone at the edges of his hearing, placating her with a gentleness that would have surprised even Kuroko. Speaking of-
Taiga whirled around, convinced that his partner would be standing there, masking his presence in order to shock him. Yet his surprise came from Kuroko's absence, and after a moment of feeling silly, Taiga walked down the hallway, supposing that his friend had made for the locker room.
"Kagami-kun."
Even though he had been half expecting it, Taiga still jumped. His ears had tricked him, and for a heart-stopping moment he had thought Kuroko sounded as upset as Momoi. His stomach had lurched at the thought of Kuroko in tears, throwing himself into his arms. Yet his friend was fine, if a little subdued. He simply looked up at him with his big blue eyes, leaving his greeting hanging in the air.
"Is Momoi-san all right? It is good that Aomine-kun came for her. Otherwise I would have asked you to escort her to her team."
Taiga fell into step beside his teammate, hiding how unsettled he felt behind his scowl. "Yeah, yeah. Like I'd be any good at that - could barely make the girl feel any better as it was." He glanced down out of the corner of his eye and internally kicked himself. Kuroko didn't need to hear about that, not looking as haggard as he currently did. "It'll be ok. Aomine won't let her mope long." He tried to swallow his next question down but out it came anyway. "So, she finally confessed, huh?"
Kuroko looked down at his hands, so tiny and fine compared to Taiga's. "I told her there was no room in my heart for anything but basketball. I know it is a poor excuse, but I could not tell her the truth."
"That you just don't like her." It wasn't supposed to be a question, but there was a lilt in his voice. It was the only sign of his deeper interest, and veiled well enough that Kuroko didn't catch it.
"I gave her my sincerest apology. I did not wish to hurt her. She is one of my closest friends."
Had he been this roundabout when she had confessed? He couldn't have been - there had only been a minute or two between Momoi asking to borrow Kuroko and her crying on him in the hallway. So he was being vague only with him. For some reason that rankled, and Taiga did not think before he spoke again. "She already knew, you know. Everyone else did. Even I did. Besides, do you really think Aomine didn't warn her?"
Kuroko huffed in annoyance. "Aomine-kun did no such thing. He knows better than to stick his nose into such matters."
Hearing Kuroko's trust in Aomine even after all that had gone wrong between them didn't make him any less annoyed. "I don't know, Kuroko. I think she knew you didn't like her. I think she just wanted to hear your reason why."
Kuroko opened his mouth automatically to argue, but snapped it close immediately. His guilt made Taiga's annoyance fade, and he came dangerously close to ruffling Kuroko's hair just as he had Momoi's. It was only when his arm had actually raised to Kuroko's shoulder level that he caught himself. Kuroko's eyes slid sideways, and words tumbled out of Taiga's mouth in an effort to hide his gesture. "And- and since you gave it to her, you did nothing wrong. It's not your fault. In my opinion. What else could you do? And it's ok that you don't...you know."
It was futile to glean feedback from Kuroko's face, but Taiga tried anyway, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. It could have been his imagination, but something in the air seemed lighter after he spoke, or perhaps Kuroko was an ounce less unhappy. "Thank you, Kagami-kun. Your support means a lot to me."
Not enough, Taiga bit down the urge to say. Rely on me more, need me more, want- "It's ok. Anyone would say it. Besides, it's not like you have time for relationships anyways. Ignoring the one you already have with basketball."
"...Kagami-kun isn't making much sense."
He knew that, he really did. But now that Kuroko was looking up at him with that glint of barely discernible amusement in his eye and was no longer rigid as a beanpole, Taiga's heart was shamefully light. It kept him talking when it might have been safer to stop. "Yes I am, you just have to pay attention. People like you and me...they call us basketball idiots for a reason. How is our commitment to basketball any different than a relationship? Honestly, I think it's better."
Kuroko raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.
"It's not like we'd have any time left over, anyway. We spend all our time in school or on the court or at Maji Burger and then she'd get mad 'cuz you didn't have any time for her. Then you'd have the argument about how she should be your most precious thing, and then you'd have to tell her you love basketball more than her, and then she'll cry again-"
"It sounds as if Kagami-kun has personal experience with this. I must admit I am surprised." Surprised and annoyed, if the jumping pulse at his temple was any indication.
Taiga swallowed down his blossoming happiness, cloaking it in his usual awkwardness. Was he jealous? That had sounded an awful lot like jealousy... "Me? No! Like I would ever…! I had to watch Tatsuya go through it a bunch of times. He was as bad as Kise when we were young - he had a new girlfriend every week. I've never...I mean, I never wanted to have that problem."
They were at the locker room now, and behind the doors were the rest of the team, likely wondering what had taken them so long. Or maybe they weren't wondering that at all, knowing that the Generation of Miracles did everything in their own time, and that the Seirin stars were usually swept up in their pace. Either way, Kuroko hesitated before pushing through the doors, fixing Taiga with a sharp glance and a sly little smile. "I see. But...perhaps you are correct. If so, it may be counter-productive to have both a 'most important person' as well as a 'light.' I will keep this in mind the next time someone tries to confess their love for me. Perhaps you should do the same?" Without waiting for Taiga's response, he pushed through the double doors, leaving behind his stunned partner.
Taiga closed his mouth with an audible snap. Had he just...was that…? Shaking his head violently, he put aside any and all thoughts of potential flirtatious parting statements, and went in after his shadow.
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"Who needs those Touou bastards, am I right? They're all a bunch of lousy homos anyway."
Tetsuya's gaze lifted to his classmate, the ignorant, loud spoken Matsumoto-san. He stood over the side of Kagami-kun's desk, and Tetsuya was surprised to see that there was no malice on his face. Apparently, this was his awkward way of comforting Kagami-kun for their team's loss. That being said, the content of his method was unacceptable, and Tetsuya was going to have to take a stand-
Yet Kagami-kun got there first. "What the…? No one on Touou swings that way. And even if they did...who the fuck cares? We're there to play basketball, not blow kisses." Kagami-kun rolled his shoulders, and fixed Matsumoto-san with that unconsciously intimidating stare of his, the one that never failed to turn Tetsuya's bones to jelly and make his mind a riotous mess.
Matsumoto-san smiled nervously and glanced around, checking whether anyone had heard Kagami-kun set him down. Judging by the way the gaggle of girls to his left whipped their heads away when he glanced at them, they had. He flushed, and his embarrassment made him foolish. "You don't think it's disgusting? Playing with a guy who likes men? That's gross, Kagami-kun. Or is that how things work in America?"
Tetsuya stopped breathing. Everything in the world mattered on Kagami-kun's response, and he strained his ears in the silence between Matsumoto-san's question and Kagami-kun's answer.
"Man, what's your problem? I don't know what you think about America, but you're wrong. And look - there's nothing wrong with being gay. My best friend from home is gay, and we've played basketball together hundreds of times, and no, it was never disgusting. Basketball is basketball, Matsumoto. Being gay has nothing to do with it."
Kagami-kun's words echoed in his mind like a song stuck on repeat: there's nothing wrong with being gay...no, it was never disgusting...
Finally recognizing the dangers of arguing with someone who was thrice his size, Matsumoto-san beat a hasty retreat, glancing over at the girls who now stared at Kagami-kun with open admiration. Tetsuya would worry about them later, but for now his heart was exploding and he was dangerously close to broadcasting his emotions for the entire world to see. He took several deep breaths; closing his eyes and willing his heart to calm down.
"You doing ok?"
Any attempt at achieving inner calm was undone when his eyes flew open and he realized that Kagami-kun had twisted in his seat and was watching him with a cautious look in his eye. His heart sputtered against his ribcage and his unreadable facade was dangerously close to slipping, yet his mouth would just not stay closed. "I was merely impressed with my light. It seems Kagami-kun is quite tolerant. As expected of an ex-American...and my partner." And then, because the corner of his lip had started to twitch into a smile, he continued. "It is likely the reason my Teikou teammates haven't driven you insane. To be fair, that applies also to Takao-san, and...ah. Himuro-san." His eyes flicked down to the ring hanging around Kagami-kun's neck. "If I may be so bold as to ask…"
Kagami-kun's eyes dropped from his face to his ring before he caught the drift of Tetsuya's question. "Would it matter to you? I mean, would you think less of him if he were?"
It absolutely matters to me. You wear his ring around his neck, and if it is something other than a mark of your brotherhood I will never, ever forgive him and quite possibly you as well. "Of course not. I happen to agree with you. One's sexual preference doesn't matter in the slightest, especially on the basketball court."
Kagami-kun watched him closely for a moment more before dropping his gaze and leaning in slightly, to ensure they wouldn't be overheard. "Yeah. You know, I figured you would be ok with it. He's just like Kise, yeah? What, with dating all the girls before they figured it out...man, it was stressful just to watch. It was kind of a relief when he finally came out as bi-sexual. At least his girls stopped hounding me asking what they were doing wrong."
"Was that when you exchanged rings?" Tetsuya tried to keep the frost out of his voice but from the way Kagami-kun stilled, he was not entirely successful.
"No, that was a year or two later. But why-" He cut himself off, comprehension dawning. Tetsuya adopted his sternest poker face, not realizing that in doing so he made himself look disapproving. "No, Kuroko. You've got the wrong idea. Tatsuya and I aren't like that. We're practically brothers, for god's sake! He didn't- I never- no. Even though he likes men, I'm not his cup of whisky, or however the saying goes. And he's not mine, either."
The mental image of Kagami-kun delicately sipping from a teacup of whisky was delightfully ridiculous and worked wonders on improving Tetsuya's mood. At least, that was what he told himself. Hearing Kagami-kun announce his disinterest - but he wasn't even gay there would be no interest in the first place get it together Tetsuya - certainly hadn't helped that. That would make him a bad person. "Tea, Kagami-kun. I believe the saying references a cup of tea."
"Whatever. You know what I'm saying, right?" Kagami-kun's eyes searched his, and Tetsuya felt heat creep up his neck. Did Kagami-kun have to look with such focused concentration, as if Tetsuya were the only object of importance in the world? He was used to such looks on the court, as basketball was the most important thing in the world. But receiving them in social situations made him weak.
He took a moment to regain his composure before responding. "I believe so. Regardless, that is a matter best left between Himuro-san and yourself." And possibly Murasakibara-kun, who - according to Midorima-kun - gnaws on the poor boy like he's one of his treats. "I shouldn't have pried - I apologize."
"It's not prying. Not coming from you." Kagami-kun mumbled, but not well enough - Tetsuya heard every word and for the third time that conversation his heart soared. "Couldn't keep much from you anyway, with you being my shadow and all." He leaned back and grinned. "He's like my Aomine, yeah? Except we were in America, and more like brothers, and he didn't go all power crazy...and ok, maybe not so much like you and Ahomine, but do you get what I'm saying?"
Tetsuya bit his tongue. He had been more than a little in love with Aomine-kun, although nothing had happened, and that infatuation had long run its course. But Kagami-kun didn't know that, and as such, he should take the assurance at face value. "If you say so, Kagami-kun. However, I would advise turning around now, as the teacher is waiting for you to begin class."
Teasing him was always worth it, Tetsuya decided as Kagami-kun flushed to the tips of his ears, only just realizing the entire class was staring at him. I hate you, he mouthed.
Tetsuya waited until Kagami-kun's back was to him before he mouthed his reply.
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Her name was Mamoru-san, and she was one of the young ladies who had overheard Kagami-kun's liberal opinions on homosexuals. She had clutched at his shirtsleeve when the class broke for lunch, and had blushingly - charmingly - asked him to meet her at last bell. Tetsuya's heart sank, although he knew at the outset what Kagami-kun's answer would be. He also wondered at the coincidence of them both being confessed to within the same week.
He didn't eavesdrop, even though he was fairly sure he could get away with it. Hiding his presence wasn't just useful on the court, after all. No, he stayed away because he wanted to do that much for Kagami-kun, and he did not wish to disrespect the girl, even if he was wildly jealous of her.
His resolve wasn't of much use when Mamoru-san decided to confess directly in front of the gymnasium windows, however. Koganei-sempai was the one to notice it first. "Ahhhh, how lucky! Someone's confessing to Kagami! And just look at how cute she is!"
That sparked the whole team's interest, and even the coach turned to stare at the unlikely couple. Not everyone was happy for him, however. Hyuuga-sempai ground his jaw so loudly that the two nearest to him - Izuki-sempai and Kiyoshi-sempai - stepped away and cast concerned glances in his direction. Furihata-kun mumbled something about idiots getting all the luck and Tetsuya was obviously quite miffed, but that was all the energy he was prepared to waste on auxiliary concerns. More importantly, with the whole team watching he was free to observe Kagami-kun's reaction to Mamoru-san's confession.
So far, it encompassed a steadfast stare at the ground, pawing the back of his neck, and turning the color of a ripe tomato. Only once did he look up, as if surprised by something she had said. Yet as soon as their gazes met he looked back down again, and Tetsuya couldn't determine whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. For all he knew, Mamoru-san - who was a nice girl, all things considered - wasn't asking him out at all. Perhaps she was telling him that she understood his commitment to basketball, and would wait for him, and wanted him simply to be aware of her. If that were the case, Mamoru-san would prove herself smarter than 90% of her classmates, and even Momoi-san. (While he cared for deeply and respected her uncanny skills as an analyst, he regretted the fact that she couldn't read the situation between the two of them to save her life.)
It didn't matter, of course. Kagami-kun's refusal was obvious, and the team collectively sighed. Several of the upperclassman muttered about bakagami's idiocy for turning down such a cute girl, but for the most part no one expected him to do any differently. He was their beloved basketball idiot, as Kagami-kun had said the night of Momoi's confession. It would have been disconcerting had he reacted any other way.
Although he knew it made him a bad partner, teammate, and friend, all Tetsuya could feel was relief. He spent the rest of practice berating himself for harboring such ugly hopes - that Kagami-kun would never love anyone, that he'd be single forever, that the only close relationships he'd have were with Himuro-san and himself. It was better than reflecting on his own feelings, however. Hopelessness had never become him, and he was clear-sighted enough to accept that he could never be more than Kagami-kun's shadow. Yet even that was better than simply being a teammate, or a friend. As it was, he was something irreplaceable, and he was far too afraid of losing him to push for anything more - especially when a happy end result was unlikely in their current situation.
He was not made of stone, however. Flirting with Kagami-kun had occasionally been inevitable, especially after Momoi's confession, and at the close of their discussion today. As long as he kept it light and teasing he figured it would be ok. After all, Kagami-kun took the Generation of Miracle's strangeness in stride, and Tetsuya prided himself on being the most normal of the bunch. But he'd have to be more careful now that he knew Kagami-kun had experience with other gay men...and one who potentially (oh screw potentially Himuro-san gave him a ring and even if Kagami-kun was too innocent to see the implications of that Tetsuya certainly was not) had feelings for him.
It was at a break during their practice that Kiyoshi-senpai passed Kagami-kun the water bottleand winked. "So, Kagami-kun. I think you are getting a little bit more popular these days, don't you agree?"
Kagami-kun glanced over at him, eyes wide with confusion. "Huh? I don't think that is true...what do you mean?" He winced. "If you're talking about Kise's emails, I don't answer them, so I don't think that counts."
Tetsuya was going to send Kise-kun some threatening emails of his own when practice was over. For the time being, however, Kiyoshi-senpai simply chuckled and patted Kagami-kun's shoulder. "Now, now...it's good to make friends, Kagami-kun. But what I was referring to was the lovely lady who confessed to you today! It's never good to brag, but dating someone cute is every high schooler's dream, no? You certainly don't have to hold yourself back just because of us dateless fools, you know." Kiyoshi-senpai's eyes cut over to Hyuuga-senpai, currently talking animatedly with Aida-senpai. "Especially when some of the fools deny themselves on purpose."
It was something Kiyoshi-senpai would never have said to anyone discerning, and if he had realized Tetsuya was in earshot he may not have spoken so freely. Yet Kagami-kun reacted just as Kiyoshi-senpai wanted, and caught only that which pertained to him. His embarrassment wasn't as severe as it had been when speaking with Mamoru-san, but it was still noticeable. "I- that wasn't…! It wasn't a confession, Kiyoshi-senpai. It was something else."
Tetsuya's eyebrows drew together in indignation. Lying to oneself was one thing, but lying to their senpai was something else entirely. Especially Kiyoshi-senpai, who Tetsuya privately suspected knew everything...like a genial Akashi-kun with better eyebrows.
"So it wasn't a confession of love? What else could it be?"
Kagami-kun's eyes cast around wildly, hesitating on Tetsuya before snapping back to Kiyoshi-senpai. "She simply…" He swallowed. "She offered her support. She knew how I... Look, she just said she'd be my friend. It wasn't anything like that."
Kiyoshi-senpai laughed and Tetsuya's eyebrows crinkled in annoyance. "Baby steps, Kagami-kun. We'll see you in love before we graduate!"
Aida-senpai blew her whistle, cutting them off and beginning the second half of practice. Tetsuya was thankful, as there was no time to feel sorry for himself, or formulate plans of revenge on Kiyoshi-senpai for daring to interfere with Kagami-kun's love life. There was also no time to look at Kagami-kun. This was an excellent thing, as Tetsuya currently did not trust himself to keep from ignite passing the ball directly into Kagami's midsection.
This was why teenage boys shouldn't fall in love, he told himself, lying facedown on the floor at the end of practice. Because we're all complete idiots.
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Part 1 of 4 in the What I Do Instead of Working (At Work) series. Blech. Next up is Midorima and Takao, in a slightly shorter yet more amusing chapter. R&R!