Set Fire to the Rain

by HannahAsphodelLumos

I'd heard rumours that you had went to another region, but how could that be true? Did you not see how we were only made perfect when we were together? Songfic. Rated T

I let it fall, my heart

And as it fell, you rose to claim it

It was dark and I was over

Until you kissed my lips and you saved me

You were like a breath of fresh air, and all I could do was drink you in. You were intoxicating, a light in the dark, you values and dreams so wide ranged and different then mine. You saw everything in black and white, while all I could see was grey, and I couldn't help reaching out for you, because you were so unique and all I wanted to do was clutch onto you and forget about all the weight on my shoulders.

My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak

To stand in your arms without falling to your feet

Who would have thought you would have caught me? Was it wrong that I expected you to drop me like I was nothing, because I wasn't pure like you were? I'd find out later that you were never pure, just sheltered. You made my knees weak, and made my insides tremble, and you captured my tears with your kisses and you claimed my lips with your own, and you were perfect. So unsure of yourself, so inexperienced, but so kind.

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew

All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true

And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win

I thought you loved me like I loved you, but you hurt me so. You took me high into the sky, on a formula of circles and chains and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. You were already asking me for forgiveness. Then you told me the truth about who you were, and I should have hated you, should have flung myself from you, but all I could do was cry, because our ideals were bound to clash and you were meant to be my mortal enemy. How could I win against someone as perfect as you?

But I set fire to the rain

Watched it pour as I touched your face

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

I should never have won. It felt wrong. Wrong to crush your ideals, your beliefs. I cried alongside you, even though I had no right to be crying. I cried because I cared about you more than I had ever cared about anyone. You were no longer perfect. You were broken, brought down by your father's words. Crushed beneath his mighty will. He was just another controlling, cruel person to hurt your already fragile status. So I chased him down, just like I did to you in the beginning, and you left. Left me alone to stand on the edge.

When laying with you I could stay there

Close my eyes, feel you here forever

You and me together, nothing is better

I searched forever, far and wide, trying to find you, get a glimpse of your beauty, but you were truly gone. I'd heard rumours that you had went to another region, but how could that be true? Did you not see how we were only made perfect when we were together? I can still feel you, still feel the silk of your shirt against my forehead and the pressure of your lips against the top of my head. I cry over you, wish that you will show up again and return my heart.

'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew

All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true

And the games you's play, you would always win, always win

I never looked for love. It wasn't part of the formula of my life, but you poured it in and added spice to that recipe. I wish you never had, because love only brings hurt. You hurt me so and I still can see that I never really knew you. Your words were only to manipulate me, even though I wish they were true, and even though it seemed like I won our endless chess game, I knew that you were the true victor, because you took my heart and left me broken.

But I set fire to the rain

Watched it pour as I touched your face

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

My two best friends are happy. They found each other and I am no longer part of their formula. They don't see my tears anymore, don't see the burning deep in the hole where my heart used to be. They don't think you are worth my time, my attention, my love. They got tired of my anger, got tired of me yelling, so because of you I lost my friends.

I set fire to the rain

And I threw us into the flames

When we fell, something died

'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time

Years don't seem to be as long as they used to be. Day pass in a blink of an eye. If I hadn't lost hope of finding you, it wouldn't have been such a shock when you appeared before me. I laid my eyes upon all your beauty and inside something cracked and died, because I couldn't find the love that I had felt you and as I turned and walked away, I knew that it was the last time I'd ever see you. I took my heart back.

Sometimes I wake up by the door

That heart you caught must be waiting for you

Even now when we're already over

I can't help myself from looking for you

Sometimes, when I'm all alone, no one to hold my hand, I find myself looking around, half expecting you to be there, challenging me. Is my heart that mournful? Does it still call out for you? I can't help myself, because I loved you so much and even now, when I was the one that walked away, I pray every day that you will be there, ready to take me into your arms where I can find comfort.