A/N: Partially rewritten. I read through this story a few days ago and came to the conclusion that it lacked a certain something, so I've added a bit here, deleted a bit there and generally tidied it up. Please let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, they belong to Paxson Entertainment. I'm just having a bit of fun with them.
Key: Signing in Bold. ~ Thoughts ~
o-xxx-o
His Guardian Angel
o-xxx-o
In the bullpen the celebration was in full swing as, yet again, they had managed to save the world from a disaster very few would ever know about. Bobby and Myles high-fived one another across the desk while D poured some well-earned refreshment. Lucy, Tara and Sue meanwhile, looked on in amusement seemingly unable to keep the smile from their faces. Jack hesitated in the doorway, knowing that he was expected to join in the festivities but somehow not quite able to muster the enthusiasm.
It had been a difficult few months for him. Losing his friend and mentor had been a hard blow to absorb, especially considering the circumstances, and he still wasn't sure that he'd quite come to terms with it. He'd been grief-stricken by the death but remained angry and disappointed at the betrayal, leaving him unable to mourn the loss effectively. From then on they'd run headlong into one complicated case after another, resulting in a body count that had shocked even him and yesterday he'd lost one of his newest informants – a person he'd never even considered to be in any danger. Another death that he couldn't help blaming himself for… Under normal circumstances he would probably have been able to work through his feelings but lately a more worrying trait had reared its head – he was starting to second guess himself and in his profession, that could prove disastrous.
Checking swiftly that no one was looking in his direction he slipped quietly away, heading for his car and the solitude he craved. He didn't notice the golden Labrador put a paw on his mistress' knee nor did he witness the look of concern that crossed her beautiful face.
o-xxx-o
Turning the key in the lock, Jack entered the dark and quiet of his apartment and immediately began to wonder if leaving his friends had been the right thing to do after all. He found himself more conflicted than ever as, although he definitely didn't feel like celebrating, now he was here he wasn't sure that he wanted to be alone either. He shook his head to try and clear it…
~ Its too late now, Jack ~
Throwing his jacket over the chair he flopped down onto the couch and surfed the TV channels hoping to find something to distract him from his thoughts, but after flicking through twice he turned the television off again and tossed the remote onto the seat, leaning back and closing his eyes. He was beyond tired but knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep, the nightmares he'd been having lately were relentless, each one more intense than the last.
His eyes remained closed as he weighed up his options for the hundredth time. He could quit – that was always a possibility. He could go and see a shrink but it would finish up on his permanent record and his pride wouldn't allow that… Or maybe, he could just take a very long vacation somewhere. He discounted that one as soon as it came into his head. The thought of spending all that time alone or with his family trying to 'help', held no appeal for him. Running out of ideas his mood became even bleaker and he rubbed his hand over his face in an effort to banish the depression he was rapidly sinking in to.
o-xxx-o
The impromptu party had broken up around 10pm and now Lucy and Sue were sitting at home debating whether to watch a movie or have an early night. Deciding that they were still too wired to sleep, they settled on the former.
"Sue…" Lucy touched her arm lightly.
"Yes, Luce...?"
"Where did Jack get to this evening? I thought he'd have been well up for some celebrating, after all his intel was an integral part of the bust." Before her friend could answer, she continued, "…though come to think of it, he's been pretty down lately, not at all like the Special Agent we all know and love."
"I've noticed that too."
Lucy went to the kitchen to collect the popcorn she'd put in the microwave earlier. "Movie's about to start…"
No matter how hard she tried, Sue just couldn't seem to concentrate. There was a niggling thought in the back of her mind that Jack was in trouble... a thought that just kept getting stronger and stronger…
"Earth to Sue..." Lucy was waving her hand frantically in an effort to get her attention.
"Did you say something?"
"Several times, actually."
"Sorry, I was miles away."
"I noticed," Lucy smiled. "I said… This movie is terrible. I think I'm going to have a bath and go to bed, if you don't mind?"
"No… it is pretty bad." She was grateful that her friend hadn't questioned her over what they'd been watching as she didn't have a clue.
"Are you gonna turn-in too?"
The whisper in Sue's mind was fast becoming a shout so, on the spur of the moment, she stood and sent Levi to get his leash. "I'm going to take Levi for a walk first. Don't wait up for me."
"Isn't it a bit late for that?"
"It's quiet out there at this time of night. I'll have my blackberry with me and Levi the wonder dog. Don't worry, I'll be fine."
Just over twenty minutes later she was standing outside Jack Hudson's door.
o-xxx-o
He hadn't moved in almost two hours, just sitting there and staring into space. The sound of the doorbell startled him although he made no attempt to answer it. He ignored the unwelcome intrusion for a second time and then his cell went off. F.B.I training died hard and he crossed the room, fishing it out of his pocket. "Hudson." He barked curtly, hoping the person on the other end would get the message that they weren't welcome.
"Jack, it's Sue, I'm outside."
For a split second he'd considered not opening the door, had it been anyone else he probably wouldn't have.
"Hi…" She smiled at him, noticing that it wasn't reciprocated.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, I was just passing by and…"
Jack interrupted her. "Don't tell me…" This time he almost smiled. "Levi was worried about me."
"No… I was worried about you. Levi just came along for the walk. Can we come in?"
He stepped aside so they could enter and the dog immediately bounded towards the armchair.
"Levi… No!" Sue reprimanded sternly stopping him in his tracks, the disappointment clear on his canine features. Thankfully she'd distracted him long enough for Jack to rescue his jacket and cover the seat with a throw.
"Now you can get up there, Knucklehead." He sighed, absently scratching the dog between its ears. He waved a hand towards the couch inviting her to sit down.
"Thanks."
Jack settled beside her, the prolonged silence between them becoming more and more uncomfortable until she couldn't stand it any longer. In a familiar gesture she took his hand in hers.
"Jack, please tell me what's wrong... You've been so unhappy lately."
He stood abruptly, taking her by surprise. Coffee
"Yes, thank you." She frowned, her face betraying her concern as he walked into the kitchen, his shoulders slumped as though the weight of the world was on them.
o-xxx-o
Sue was beginning to wonder if this visit had been such a good idea after all. The unnatural quiet between them was unnerving and she was seriously considering making her excuses and leaving when Levi jumped off the chair and launched himself at her.
"What is it, boy?" The dog headed towards the kitchen and she followed, staring in shock at the sight that greeted her... A mug was smashed on the floor with a river of coffee spreading slowly over the tiles. Jack was standing with his hand under the tap, a mixture of cold water and blood running into the sink.
"Jack!"
"It's okay. I gashed my palm when I was picking up the pieces, that's all."
Scanning the room her eyes lighted on a roll of kitchen towel and she was so busy tearing off a few squares that she missed his next words "…just another disaster in the wonderful life of Jackson Samuel Hudson."
Oblivious to his last comment, she crossed the room holding his wrist and removing his hand from under the flowing stream of water before wrapping it in the paper towels. "Do you have any bandages or anything?"
"Bathroom cabinet"
"Go and sit down, I'll be right back. Levi, stay with him."
Making her way through the door she quickly searched for what she needed, taking out a small bottle of antiseptic, some cotton wool, gauze and bandages but she couldn't seem to locate any tissues Recalling from when they'd gone undercover as a married couple that he sometimes kept them on the bedside table, she crossed the hall and turned on the lamp. A photograph of the team stood there and she picked up the wooden frame and studied it. Out of the blue it dawned on her that these people were the only family Jack had in D.C and she wondered how he coped with returning to an empty flat every night after work. At least she had Lucy and Levi to talk to.
~ No wonder he never seems keen to go home ~ she thought sadly. Replacing it carefully, she sniffed to hold back the tears that prickled her eyes.
Pulling open the drawer she finally located what she was looking for and grabbed a small pack of Kleenex but as she closed it again her eyes fell on another photo frame, one much more ornate and delicate than the last and her curiosity got the better of her. Guessing that this was far more important to him, she took it out and flipped it over, a small gasp escaping her lips. The image was of the pair of them on the dance-floor after she'd 'won' him at the bachelor auction. It was a head and shoulders shot and they were smiling happily as they danced. Jack's eyes held a sparkle that she hadn't seen in a long time.
Realising that she was taking too long, she hurriedly went back to the bathroom and flushed the toilet to cover her tracks before returning to the living area, where he was sitting on the couch again. "How are you doing?"
"I think it's stopped bleeding." He replied flatly.
"Good." She laid out all the things she'd collected, quickly fetched a bowl of water from the kitchen and knelt down in front of him. "Let me see."
After uncovering the wound she cleaned around it then patted it dry with the tissues. Picking up the bottle she opened it and poured some of the contents onto a fresh piece of cotton wool. Jack had remained silent throughout and she searched his face worriedly.
"This is going to hurt, I'm afraid." She dabbed the liquid onto the cut, feeling him flinch as it burned "Sorry."
"'s'okay…"
There was definitely something very wrong she knew that, he almost seemed dead inside. Biting back tears, she unrolled the bandage and carefully wrapped it around his hand, pinning it in place "I'll clean this lot up." She hastily stood and left the room.
o-xxx-o
Sue had deliberately taken her time putting everything to rights and had even been back into the kitchen to sort out the mess on the floor. She wasn't sure that he was ever going to open up to her but she couldn't bear the thought of leaving him alone. Not knowing what else to do, she poured some fresh coffee and placed it on the table. Jack was sitting where she'd left him, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his face buried in his hands. Quietly, she moved to kneel in front of him again, whispering his name as she lightly caressed the back of his uninjured hand. He brought his head up to look at her and when their eyes met, all of his meticulously built defences crumbled. The pain and uncertainty in his eyes shocked her to the core.
Instinctively, she reached for him, pulling him close and within moments she felt his arms go around her, holding her tightly. She couldn't see his face or hear him crying but the dampness on her shoulder told her that he was. Gently, she stroked his back whispering over and over "its okay, everything's going to be okay."
Neither of them had any idea how much time had passed before he suddenly released her, swiping almost angrily at the tears that still lingered on his lashes. He moved her away from him so that she could see his lips. "I'm so sorry… I don't know what happened."
"Jack, it's okay. I understand." She wracked her brain for anything she could say to alleviate his obvious discomfort and her mouth broke into a soft smile. "I warned you it was going to hurt."
"Excuse me?"
"I remember when my mother used to put that stuff on my cuts and scrapes... It always made me cry too."
For the first time in a very long while, Jack laughed out loud. "That explains it then, must have been the antiseptic…" They gazed at each other for a moment, revelling in the lighter mood between them
Okay you?
Jack nodded and signed, thank you.
You're welcome.
Neither of them wanted to be the one to break the moment but reluctantly Sue got to her feet. "I have to go or Levi will be too tired to work tomorrow."
Jack followed suit, "let me help you with your coat."
She shook her head 'no'. "You'd better not. You don't want to start the bleeding again."
He sighed resignedly and took a step back.
"Levi." Bending down she attached the dog's leash and walked to the door.
Jack followed her and turned her to face him. "Thank you…" His voice cracked slightly so he resorted to signing. From my heart, you saved my life tonight.
Sue scanned his face searching for any sign of humour or sarcasm but found none, just an earnestness she'd never seen in him before. On impulse she reached up and shyly stroked his cheek. "Get some sleep, I'll see you tomorrow."
He shuddered involuntarily.
"What?"
Figuring he couldn't embarrass himself any further than he already had, he whispered "Nightmares."
She gave him a sympathetic smile. "Maybe tonight will be different. Good night."
Good night.
He watched until she was out of sight and then went back inside, taking a shower before getting ready for bed and hoping against hope that tonight's dreams would indeed be kinder to him.
Climbing under the duvet, he reached across to switch out the lamp, turning it back on again almost immediately to check that he hadn't been hallucinating. The photograph of the team that normally graced his bedside table was gone and in its place was the one he kept hidden away in the drawer. There was a slip of tissue tucked in the frame and he held it to the light to read it. – Remember, you're never alone ~
He smiled softly, realising that she must have found it earlier and he knew in his heart that as long as she watched over him, the nightmares wouldn't dare to return to haunt him, for tonight anyway. With trembling fingers he tenderly traced the outline of her face before turning out the light and drifting into a peaceful sleep.
o-xxx-o
The next day he strode into the bullpen full of the joys of spring. "Good morning, all."
Levi touched a paw to Sue's knee to let her know someone was speaking and Jack crossed the room to reward the dog with a quick scratch. "Thank you Levi, you've just earned an extra treat at lunch. Good morning, Sue."
"Hi."
Before she could say anything more Bobby spoke up. "You're very erm… sparky, today."
"Makes a change," Myles snorted and Tara laughed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he feigned a hurt expression. "I'm always happy to be here."
The Aussie stared at him in disbelief. "You're kidding, right? Your fuse has been so short lately that you've been in danger of exploding before you're even lit! What did you get up to last night to put you in such a good mood?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"If you must know, I was visited by an Angel."
"What did you do to your hand?" D inquired, joining the group.
"Oh, I cut it picking up the pieces of a coffee mug I smashed."
"And I suppose the 'angel' bandaged it for you." Tara chipped in.
"She did."
"Okay," Myles rejoined the conversation looking perplexed. "You're sure that mug didn't hit you on the head before it reached the ground?"
Jack was desperately trying to think of a witty comeback when Ted Garrett came to his rescue. "Hudson, Thomas… my office."
Jack touched Sue on the shoulder to let her know that they were wanted, signing to her discreetly.
As they left the room, a broad smile lit up Lucy's face and she stifled a laugh as she watched her friend's cheeks turn an interesting shade of pink. At times like these she was really glad she'd asked Sue to teach her ASL so that she could plainly read the secret message... 'Coming, Angel?'
She looked around the bullpen, chuckling as the rest of the team tried to figure out what had gotten into their colleague. It was going to be hard, but this time she decided to keep what she knew to herself.
o-xxx-o - The End - o-xxx-o