001. truth
The truth of the matter was Finnick Odair and Johanna Mason had been lovers. Their tryst had lasted the span of the 69th Hunger Games; a year after her victory, and four years after his, they had spent a week together. A week born of grief, desperation, lust, loneliness, understanding, and companionship. That week was when Johanna Mason fell in love with Finnick Odair, when she learned to love again. That week was when Finnick Odair realized just how much he loved Annie Cresta, when he realized whom he was in love with.
Latter, when he confesses everything to Annie-from his "duty" to his tryst with Johanna Mason-he realizes just how much of the truth he kept away from the woman he loves the most.
002. accept
Annie Cresta has long accepted that loving Finnick Odair came at a price: jealousy and heartbreak, mostly, but an myriad of other things too; she has also long accepted that loving him is worth every bit of pain.
003. chain
Annie has often thought of herself as a boat in the ocean, of Finnick as her anchor, and of their love the chain that connects them.
004. save
Sometimes, Finnick wonders if he's saving Annie, or if it's the other way around. Perhaps they're just saving each other.
005. ring
Finnick Odair used to dream about marring Annie Cresta. When he proposed, Finnick always thought he'd be giving her a ring of rope, made with the knot they had created together. When they got married, he thought the ocean would be their background. When they get married in District 13, nowhere near the ocean with a ring he didn't make, Finnick doesn't mind: he has Annie by his side, and that's all that matters.
006. cat
Annie wanted a cat. Finnick couldn't stand the darn things.
One look at her crestfallen face had him scrambling to find her a cat.
007. name
"Finnick, if we ever have children, what would we name them?"
He honestly doesn't know-and he hopes he never has to (well, until he can overthrow Snow, the Capitol and the Hunger Games, then he'd be more than happy to name children with Annie).
008. rain
Annie Cresta had once loved the rain-now she covers her ears and curls in a ball. It's heartbreaking.
009. laundry
Annie loves to do their laundry-she doesn't have to, they're both Victors, they can afford to pay someone else to do something so mundane (or they could throw it into that contraption from District 3). He can't understand why she does it, but if it makes her happy, he doesn't mind.
010. umbrella
He bought her an umbrella to keep the rain she once loved at bay. She threw it into the nearest trashcan and walked proudly into the rain. He watched her in awe.
011. glasses
Sometimes, Annie wonders if Finnick needs glasses-she's not beautiful (especially compared to him), no matter what he says.
012. delete
The Capitol can erase his scars, demean him, and damage him, but Annie can always rake her nails down his back, drag him back up, and fix him again.
013. phone
They haven't used their phones yet-what's the point if the only person they're going to call is each other?
014. replace
No one could replace Annie in his heart. After his death, everyone learned that no one could replace Finnick in hers.
015. quit
He first learned to tie a noose because Annie said "I hate you, Finnick Odair." He'd just never found the courage to quit living. Now, he's glad he didn't.
016. hate
She's said "I hate you," to him a grand total of twice.
The first time was after he'd first betrayed her trust. She'd said it like she'd meant it.
The only other time she'd said it was after he'd died. She'd stammered it out between sobs.
(He wishes she never forgave him the first time.)
017. december
District 4 didn't have snow, but other districts did. Annie found that she didn't like the white things that fell from the sky-it was too cold, pale and frail; not at all like Finnick.
018. confess
They had fought just before the Reaping for the 70th Hunger Games. He'd accused her of only loving him for being a Victor. She'd been on the verge of tears when she confessed she'd fallen for him long before. She'd slammed the door on the way out, and that was when he'd realized his mistake.
He still blames himself for it, even, now. If he hadn't had that fight with her, he doubted Annie would have insisted on standing as tribute-of all those there that day (the other children, the victors, and the handful of volunteers whom wanted to take her place) he alone knew why she was District 4's tribute to the 70th Hunger Games.
019. room
Her house in Victor's Village has always been empty. Quite frankly, they'd lived together in his for years, though they haven't always shared a room.
020. denial
Denial swept through him whenever someone told him "she's going to die-she's not going to be the victor." He'd lost track of how many times he's denied that statement, but it doesn't matter. Annie had come back, even if she was broken in the end.
021. stare
He's stared forever: when he first met her; when he came back after realizing how much he loved her; at the door after she'd left; when she insisted on being District 4's tribute;at the monitor during her games; when he proposed; at their wedding. Yes, he could stare at Annie Odair forever, and he'd love every moment.
022. lost
He's lost without her; she's lost without him. When he dies, it seems like she does as well. She makes herself go on, though, their baby needs her.
023. smile
She makes him smile (really, truly smile, not that expression he fakes).
024. need
They'd argued that night because he'd needed her so, so much and he thought she didn't love him.
025. yes
She said yes. She said yes. They were getting married. Finally.
026. bend
In the midst of that turbulent flood, she'd floated as if she was relaxing in a calm river bend. He knew she was an amazing swimming, even for someone from District 4-he'd just never knew she was that good. It made him thankful they still had time for him to find out other things about her.
027. like
She'd named him Finnick, simply because he looked so much like his father, she couldn't bring herself to name him anything else. She still feels guilty, so she started calling him Finn.
028. mistake
He'd made so many mistakes in his life, and they usually seemed to hurt Annie in some way. He never regretted loving her, though.
029. boundaries
He'd always let her set the boundaries, but she was willing to throw all of them aside for him. So it was a moot point, really.
030. push
His tryst with Johanna had pushed him right into his love with Annie. He'd thank Johanna, but that would be pushing his luck.
031. patience
He had to be patient with her, as her sanity returned, bit by bit. When she was finally Annie again, it had taken just over a year and half-but he didn't mind. He'd wait for her forever.
032. impulse
When the Quarter Quell Announcement came, Annie reverted to how she'd been after her games. His first impulse was anger. He's not sure if he was more angry at Snow and the Gamemakers for the cruel twist they decided on or himself for making Annie angry enough to be a tribute five years back. He doesn't care: he's too busy thinking of ways to keep Annie out of the arena again and calming her down.
033. miles
Though they're miles apart every time he goes to the Capitol, his heart never leaves hers.
034. link
"Their bond was hard to understand and harder to explain, but it was easy to see. No one seeing them could doubt their love," Katniss had gently informed Finn when he'd asked. Then, he'd smiled-not his father's usual smirk or even his genuine smile, but his mother's soft, innocent, sweet smile-and Katniss understood how Finn was a link to his father instead of a miniature of Finnick Odair.
035. remain
She was born Annie Cresta, but remained Annie Odair until her death forty years after her marriage. She'd only waited for the birth of her second grandchild before she quietly passed away in her sleep, a smile playing on her lips. Finnick Odair didn't grieve for her-"she's with dad now, at last."
036. decide
The day she decided to stand as tribute, her thoughts were of Finnick, not of the consequences. It wasn't until later that she realized she'd insisted on her death. Even then, she couldn't bring herself to care-she'd always know pride was her hubris.
037. secret
Their relationship was an open secret. The fact that she wasn't insane anymore (she wasn't quite completely sane, but she was getting better all the time) was a secret though-at least if the way Finnick and Mags kept maintaining the rumors of her insanity was any indication.
038. force
Finnick was only a playboy and whore under duress. The real Finnick had been adorably shy about affection (well, at first, anyways).
039. stay
She wasn't as vibrant, loud, witty or proud as she used to be; she isn't any of the things Finnick fallen in love with her for anymore. She wonders why he stays with her when so many beautiful women with the same traits she used to have surround him.
040. laugh
His laugh had changed over the years. She remembers his laughs: of the child he used to be; of the adolescent he grew to be; of the tribute he volunteered to be; of the broken victor he came back as; of the playboy he was forced to be; of the boyfriend he was; of the mentor he acted as; of the lover he had been; of the husband he was. The changes had sometimes been drastic, had sometimes been minute, but there had been changes-and she remembered each and everyone, etched them into her memory so she'd never forget.
041. nine
Finnick had killed (or had helped kill) nine tributes in the 65th Hunger Games. Annie never forgot their names either.
042. attention
Finnick mentored Annie. He sat in his chair and watched her every move on the screen in front of him. He didn't watch the giant screen that displayed the highlights of the games, he didn't watch what the rest of Panem watched. He simply watched Annie.
043. instinct
When he saw screaming her in the hospital after the flood, he wonders if her instincts told her she was safe in the water-in the middle of a raging flood-and not in this sterile hospital room.
044. same
They are both victors. They were both broken by their games. They were both put back together by each other. They were both damaged. They are the same. Two matching halves of a whole.
045. mask
Annie doesn't care for his facade. She doesn't fawn over his smirk, his seductive purr, his smooth moves, or his hackneyed lines. He's grateful. (Though he does try a few of the above mentioned just to see her laugh.)
046. break
He broke her when he died. He did more damage than the Capitol ever could. The irony doesn't escape anyone who knows why he supported the rebellion.
047. share
He doesn't understand how Annie could share him with so many other women (and men), even if he doesn't love anyone else. He could never share her with anyone (the feelings that rise even with the mere thought of it are staggering). He wonders, not for the first time, whom between them is really stronger.
048. danger
Katniss Everdeen hopes she'll never be a widow (though she doubts Peeta would do such to her). She's seen her mother neglect her own two children in favor of staring into space. She's seen Annie Odair's crushing grief. She's also seen said woman pull herself together in a relatively short time for the baby in her womb. And that, Katniss thinks, is something she herself would never be able to do, so she simply marvels at the young woman-to young to be a widow, but a widow regardless-in front of her.
Then, Katniss fervently hopes she'll never be in danger of being a widowed mother.
049. escape
She never bothered thinking about escaping because she knew Finnick would rescue her.
050. lie
She'd really only been truly insane for a month or two. She had simply been ridiculously fragile for the year after that. After the umbrella, though, she steadily got better. She'd kept Finnick waiting long enough.
They did keep the "Madgirl of District 4" lie alive though.
(It wasn't a lie on Reaping Days, but Finnick had always been there to coax her back to sanity.)