(Hello again, dear readers, and welcome to my second fanfic. The characters are mostly the same as in A Tale Of One Mansion, except Lucas is kind of a dick, so have fun and stuff. Sorry about taking such a long time to upload this; I just got caught up in school and didn't have nearly as much time to write this as with ATOM, plus there was the whole thinking of a new story idea thing.)
INTRODUCTION: IN WHICH LUCAS GOES ON THE BUS. SERIOUSLY, NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS, BUT IT'S OK. IT'S THE JOURNEY THAT COUNTS, NOT THE DESTINATION, BUT THE DESTINATION WILL BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, 'K? 'K.
"Now, remember, Lucas, don't smoke or take drugs or have sex or anything like that." reminded Hinawa, kissing her son on the cheek as she sent him out the door. Lucas felt the cool northern air on his cheek as he looked off into the distance to see where the bus was with its children and wheels and yellowness and polluting fumes, brought to you by the North Dakota oil boom.
"Fuck the North Dakota oil boom," remarked Lucas, unwittingly out loud. Don't you worry, though, he had good reasons to say those words, as unbecoming as they were for a boy of his age. The boom was what had gotten him into this mess – his family needed money after Flint lost his job, and anything was better than unemployment. However, the decision to move did have some unintended consequences, namely the fact that Lucas had been totally uprooted from his home of 14 years and plonked down in Nowheresville, The Worst Fucking State (the consequences may not have been entirely unintentional, however – he had had some trouble at his previous school, mostly involving that time he set a girl's hair on fire by thinking about it).
The horrid screech of the bus's brakes, which probably translated into English as "Kill me now", snapped Lucas out of his reverie as it pulled up to his driveway and the doors slid open, sounding like some sort of steampunk nightmare where the whole damn school ran on gears and pistons – Lucas frankly wouldn't be surprised if the interior featured one of those old-timey train whistles. Stepping on board, he did a quick glance around the rows of seats to check if there were any normal people there; there were only two. The other seats were occupied by such varying ladies and gentleman as a thing in a suit, a man who looked far too old to be there, a marshmallow with eyes that stared deep into your soul, and a fucking mouse. Not even an anthropomorphic furry-type mouse (not that Lucas was an expert on furries, mind you), but a normal, human-sized mouse that seemed to crackle. He shuffled his way past the cast of characters to find that, much to his delight, there was an empty seat, one of a group of two that was currently being inhabited by a masked figure who would have been imposing had he not been so short. Somewhere, off in the distance, a Spanish guitar played.
"Hola, senor. Sientate." said the figure, motioning toward the empty seat with his sword. "Me llamo Meta Knight." Lucas narrowed his eyes. "Dude, come on. I've literally never read a Spanish textbook in my life and even I know you're supposed to do that funny squiggle thing on the n." Sr. Meta Knight's (What does that even translate as? Sr. Gran Caballo? No, that doesn't make sense. What the hell, it's his name now) eyes dimmed as he looked off into the distance. "Mira, yo nunca he pudido hablar muy bien. Lo siento si no me puedes entender. Y otra cosa – como te llamas?" Lucas rolled his eyes at Sr. Gran Caballo's crumbling layers of sexy-Hispanic-ness before giving his name. He then decided to turn his attention away from that particular dud of a conversation to focus on the gentlemen sitting across from him, one of whom was wearing normal-people clothes and a baseball cap and the other a green tunic and a hat (though the latter had weird ears, so he was probably some inbred yokel from Podunk, Mississippi). Sadly, the two were engaged in some whimsical conversation that Lucas could only hope to plumb the surface of, but that didn't really matter; it was probably about Minecraft or something like that. Lucas had never understood what all the fuss was with that –
OHMYGODTHECAPGUYTURNEDHISHEADABITANDSHOWEDHISFACEA NDHESORTOFMADEEYECONTACTWITHLUCASANDHEWASSOHOTANDI TWASAMAZINGANDTHATWASTRUELOVERIGHTTHEREOHMYFUCKING GODANDYOUCOULDTELLJUSTBYTHELOOKINHISEYESTHATHE'STO TALLYAMAZINGANDNOTSOMEJERKJOCKWHOSLEEPSAROUNDANDST UFFBUTHEWASPROBABLYSTRAIGHTLIKEFUCKINGEVERYBODYELS ESOLUCASWASSTILLSHITOUTOFLUCKBUTMAYBEHECOULDASKHIM SOMETIMEANDISHOULDHAVESTOPPEDUSINGCALLCAPSAWHILEAG OSORRYABOUTTHAT.
Anyway, Lucas's face was bright red by now; he quickly averted his eyes from Cappy and pretended to be checking something on his shirt. "Te gusta el chico, no?" Sr. Gran Caballo winked with one of those weird, soulless eyes. "Yeah." responded Lucas, quickly throwing up the Anti-Bullying Walls he had meticulously crafted throughout middle school. "What are you going to do about it?"
"Ay, no, no es como eso. Estoy bien con la homosexualidad. Yo soy…soy un poco de mismas cosas, sabes?" The Masked Marshmallow's limited vocabulary was beginning to get the best of him, and he was thankfully saved from having to stretch any more by the screechy-brakes noises that heralded the beginning of the first day of the rest of Lucas's life.
Porky Minch was nothing. This was the Super Smash Institute For Exceptionally Gifted Individuals (SSIFEGI).
(Sorry about the lack of accents and upside-down question marks and stuff in Meta Knight's speech – I can't figure out how to get them on Word. Also, a note on the general universe of my fanfics: yes, they do take place in the real world, no, Nintendo does not exist (so no one's going around like "OMG GUYS MARIO'S REAL I SAW HIM THE OTHER DAY"), and yes, that does lead to the fact that, canonically, this and the previous fanfiction take place on a parallel Earth that exists within the Nintendoverse and where all the Nintendo people hang out in their spare time, as well as Snake and Sonic – they snuck in disguised as nuns. Anyway, I hope you liked the introduction, so stay tuned for Chapter 1! I haven't established what my schedule for this will be, or if I'll even have a schedule, so just check in regularly or do that story alert thing. Have fun!)