History – Ana & Christian

I feel another's gaze upon me one evening while working on my desktop computer in my quiet study. My breathing accelerates as I quickly scan the street outside my window. No one obvious appears. However the window faces a street, small hill and a local park across the way. Who knows what is lurking in the darkness?

"It's just my overactive imagination or some oversexed teenagers making out" I blurt out as a means of soothing myself.

People often pull into a parking lot at the top of the hill across the street from my home to gaze upon the county and city lights. Occasionally I even catch the interchange of two men on their walkie-talkies since my computer speakers also transmit their discourse to my study. Sometimes the men discuss their weekends and sex lives while I inadvertently eavesdrop. One describes sex as akin to "floating among the sun, moon and stars". I would not know as its been years since my last experience. I pull my blinds closed and plop my Ipod onto my speakers (Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata assures me of distractions for a bit) while I continue writing my latest article.

By 3am, fatigue sends me stumbling to my queen size mattress in the next room for several hours of sleep and dreams. I teach in the afternoon and need to be at the university by noon. Sometime during 3am and noon on that day, the world as I knew it changed. A being from another galaxy visited me during my dream for the first time, though I did not know it at the time.

My dream involves running beside a rapid transit train in sock covered feet. Something like a fluorescent light buzzes above me while I run with a young friend. We are both about 20 years old, laughing but feeling guilty because we have not paid the fare for the transit.

"Let's find safety." I shout to my young male friend. I gasp at his excitement filled eyes and his beauty.

"My feet need shoes!" I explain.

He gazes back with concern and points toward an old warehouse just to the right side of the ramp where we are running.

During my dream, a bright light finds me and pierces my eyes through their slits. I gasp for air but am paralyzed by the light. My dream state shifts to another time and place then. A creature with lovely large black irises and grey corneas stares into my eyes. I feel mesmerized by the eyes. I feel calm even though my body is rotated at a ninety degree angle on my mattress and a blue light enters several of my orifices at once.

"This is marvelous" I utter.

Orgasms consume my body for several moments while I float among the stars of the universe; my body feels like jelly. The walkie-talkie men nailed the experience correctly. The curious and kind eyes never break contact with mine while I tremble and moan with pleasure the word "lovely" leaves my lips. I never want this dream to end!

The laser light enters my orifices and probes my body again. The probes relax me and give me the most intense pleasure of my existence. My brain, my body and (dare I think it?) my essence floats in space.

"Give me more.." I may have shouted. My rational self wonder if I have lost my mind.

My attitude surprises me and I suspect some emotional manipulation. The grey eyes make contact with me again and now a thin lipped smile appears beneath the eyes. A kind face appears. It is similar to a human face with expressions that convey gentleness, curiosity and interest. His face and eyes never break their contact with mine.

"You are Ana?" he asks gently.

I nod my assent. "Yours?"

The kind and sensuous looking mouth forms an C, then the word "Christian" emerges. I do not want to look away. His intense eyes grow more round with curiosity. "Afraid?".

"I should be but NO..it's wonderful" I admit while feeling strangely calm.

"Please, wait" the mouth requests.

Do I have an option? There is no way I would recoil from this contact. My body continues to float toward the bedroom and above my mattress. The blue light flashes intermittently. Then a spotlight appears on the floor of my bedroom. Soon a human like body emerges from the light and the image of someone who looks like a Nordic god in a toga floats before me.

"Christian?" He nods and stares at me intently for a moment.

"Amazing" comes from his trembling lips.

"Seriously?... Same here!" is my response. The emotional pull of my being toward Christian's feels magnetic and profound. I am drawn to his physical appearance in a manner that shocks me. Have I suddenly become superficial? the ratonal part of my brain wonders.

"I feel such a sense of trust with you" I utter and then slip further into unconsciousness…

When I am awake at 11:47am, I feel more refreshed than I have for months. What a great dream.

My afternoon lectures on the DSM and anxiety disorders flow well. My course assistant, Omar, remarks

"Your jokes were hysterical today and the students paid attention the entire time".

Was that a first? "That IS amazing" I retort. My energy level is higher than ever. After office hours, eating and a few meetings, I am once again back in my home study.

I wonder what really happened last night and whether I will have a repeat experience. I brush the experience off as a random but fabulous dream state and return to my paper on twin relations...work that absorbs me for hours. There are no further visits for awhile.

I tell no one about my experience and begin to practice progressive relaxation in an attempt to cap my growing anxiety. My agitation increases with each passing night and I begin searching for information about alien contacts on the internet. Most of the information follows a pattern.

I learn that alien abductions or visits entail being taken against one's will by nonhuman beings and subjected to various psychological and physical examinations. The exam then leads to communication over an important matter that is followed by a tour of the captors' vessel or space ship. The aliens are either grey with bug-eyed scale-skinned creatures or the kind, nordic types that look human. Abductees cannot fully recall the experience afterwards but are returned to their location. The abductee may feel uplifted by the experience but then must cope with the aftermath and reality of the visit.

Though I did not volunteer for this experience and probing has occurred, I do not feel violated. As the nights pass without an additional visit from the alien, a sense of regret pervades my mood. He promised me much more information - and I (ha-ha) never had a tour of his vessel. By Friday, I begin to convince myself that the experience was a one-time unique event; possibly more a dream than reality.

I feel resigned to my predictable life as I enter my study and sit down at my desk on Friday night. My feeling fades quickly and is replaced by exuberance and joy. Within minutes of study, the blue laser pierces my blinds and in another flash, the alien stands before me in all his glory. His shoulder length blond hair glows while his pale complexion and kind grey eyes reflect desire and excitement.

"Oh, Ana" he blurts as soon as he steps from the light into my study. He holds his arms out to me but I cross mine and hold myself erect.

"You need to answer some questions first, Christian."

"Of course," he agrees with some confusion but eventually sits reluctantly at my feet.

"Why are you probing me?" I inquire and shudder.

Christian looks truly remorseful but explains, "I hope you are comfortable." I nod my assent.

"If this is an alien abduction, bring it on!" I joke. Apparently, my curiosity overrides any of my concerns over self preservation.

He counters with "I hope you do. I have been observing you from afar for months, Ana. You fascinate me" he states while his eyes penetrate mine.

"Convince me," I command while reflecting on the fact that he knows my body rather well given the probes.

"For a human, you are quite balanced. You have intellectual curiosity and drive as evinced by your career in academia., Yet you also draw upon your emotions to guide your work. You are friendly with colleagues and students but really enjoy your solitary lifestyle. Your attraction to writing and reading is paramount in your priorities."

I am stunned and simultaneously pleased at his careful observations of my patterns. "Thank you." I murmur. "But, why did you choose to… observe me, in particular?"

"In part, it was pure chance. However, once we discovered that you were alone and easy to examine…" he indicates while trailing off.

I am charmed by his interest and beauty. "Tell me more about yourself."

"I explore other worlds and their inhabitants with a team of what you would label "scientists". We are oriented toward the group and put an emphasis on rational processes… perhaps too much so."

"Is that why you want to know more about humans?"

"There is so much to know. But I admire you, Ana" he admits with an entranced look upon his face. We have tested all of your capacities over many months. "And?" I ask.

"You are intelligent, focused, energetic, and a perfect specimen. You enchant me" he says softly.

I am shocked at his open admiration of me. My attraction to him is indisputable. I touch his arm gently and look into his eyes with desire.

"You trust me" he observes with a radiant smile.

"Since this feels like a dream, I am feeling bold and brazen" I admit and smile in return.

"Can I touch you?"

"You already have probed me. Why not?" I encourage.

His hands tremble as he tenderly touches my cheekbone with the knuckles of one hand while the other is placed on my shoulder. I am pleased with his familiarity though I should recoil. Somehow it feels quite appropriate. Those amazing eyes never break contact with mine.

"You cannot know how mesmerizing this contact feels" he says at last with reverence. I dare not break eye contact with this gorgeous creature. My fingers find their way to his outstretched arm and rest there.

"You are so warm, Christian." I observe and smile warmly while touching his face.

A moan escapes his throat when I touch him again. I massage the smoothness of his skin.

"You are a marvel" he states and continues to probe the depths of my eyes.

Hesitantly, afraid that this contact could end, I stroke his golden hair. His irises widen with gratitude and appreciation as a smile dances on his thin lips. "That feels so soothing, Ana. Please do not stop."

My hand moves to his cheekbone. "Whoever you are, whatever you are...I am drawn to you like a moth to light" comes my surprising admission. I caress his face again and smile like a prom queen. Christian is enamored of me.

His eyes are watching me with warmth and desire. "My feeling mirrors yours and my surprise surpasses it. We are from different worlds but so needy of contact… " his words trail off as he holds both my hands in his large but warm ones.

"Are we? Tell me more" I reply as if in a trance. This powerful connection with Christian surpasses the passion of any romance I've encountered on earth. Most of my academic encounters are cerebral.

"Later" comes from his lips as his arms pull me closer to his chest. Very slowly, his hands slide down my torso to my hips. My breath betrays my need and resignation. I hear him catch his breath as he looks at me.

"I could get lost in your being, Ana".

My arms encircle his waist as I search into his wondrous face. I don't know how long we embrace but the electricity between us is palpable. Eventually, he lowers his head to place his lips on my neck and shoulder. The jolt of desire running through my body at his kiss amazes me.

My hand tilts his head up to mine then. My lips join his in the most enticing way ever. My tongue luxuriates in the warmth of his generous mouth and I am lost to desire. His response indicates full compliance when our tongues entangle in a dance. Christian moans and pulls me closer.

Suddenly, the blue light around us begins to pulse again and Christian pushes back from me.

"I am sorry, Ana," emerges from his tortured voice. "We have to stop now though I want you with every fiber of my being" he explains. "My colleagues want to dialogue…I must go for now but I will return" he promises with the eyes of a frustrated lover.

"No…Christian. Don't go. Whatever we have is magic. Please," I beg.

"My portal is closing soon" he retorts with a mask of disappointment evident on his features.

"I will miss you every moment we are apart" are his final words as the laser absorbs him.

I am eager for contact the following evening and restless by nine o'clock. However, no light pierces my room that evening nor for several evenings afterward. My body registers high levels of a week, and while working on my computer, the feeling of being observed returns once again. Nothing outside looks askew. I play my ipod and continue writing.

Around midnight, a blue laser-like light pierces the slats of my window blinds then my eyes. Shortly thereafter, my body floats through the air outside my study. This dream feels too real. I don't seem to care, however. Christian appears in the room.

"Why do you visit me, Christian?" I inquire as soon as he steps out of the light.

"We need to know more about human reproduction as ours, on Kepler, is infrequently accessed. Our lifespan exceeds yours by hundreds of years and children are rare."

My breath catches in my throat at the revelation.

"We no longer feel pleasure in the reproductive exchange" he sighs.

"Really?" I am incredulous. The pleasure my body feels from contact with Christian overwhelms me. No wonder he seems so entranced by our contact.

"But, I have never reproduced" I explain. Will the Kepler aliens reject me once they know I have never given birth? I wonder.

"We know that from our probes. We care more about the experience of pleasure" comes his reassuring response.

Keep the probes coming, I think.

He stares at my face carefully for a very long time and smiles broadly. "You make me very happy, Ana" he says before stroking my hair and face tenderly. His touch sends energy charging through my body.

"I could not resist seeing you again" he admits and sighs when he touches my cheek. "I cannot stay for long as the portal has limited capacity tonight. I slid through when they were adjusting it and only have a brief window of time left."

My breathing increases dramatically. I feel tired but my mind wants more. "Tell me about your planet," I demand.

"I am from a planet called Kepler and it is quite similar to earth but more tropical overall" he explains while gazing at my face and touching my arm with affection.

Inadvertently, I yawn and he notices my response. He looks uncomfortable and hurt.

"Christian, I am sorry. It's been a long week. I really want to spend time with you."

"It is late, Ana. You need your rest. There will be much to exchange later. We can talk more on my next visit and another night. My portal closes in a moment."

Christian smiles while he pets my hair and stares intensely into my eyes. "I had to see you again but the pulsing blue light means I must go now" his resigned and dismayed manner indicates as he slips through the portal.

Though I resist, my overstimulated body drifts off to sleep in a moment. For the time being, my stress levels have calmed.

A week passes and once again it is Friday evening. The blue light finally appears around midnight. The week without Christian was difficult and filled with anxiety. I eagerly run to the light. A male form emerges from the laser however…it is not Christian.

I retreat from the figure and recoil against my bedroom wall. Like Christian, this visitor is tall but with auburn hair and warm green eyes. He lowers his head and holds out one hand to me as a greeting.

"Who…are you?" I demand in an irritated tone of voice.

After a long moment and a long soulful stare he explains.

"I am Edmund, a colleague of Christian's" says the soothing voice.

"I am so sorry if I frightened you. Christian has been assigned a new task lately but he will return. I hope you won't be disappointed with me" he smiles.

Then he tilts his head shyly while his wide eyes beseech me to accept him. He also looks innocent and caring.

I put space between us while holding my hand out to indicate that he should stop. "What do you want from me?" I say a bit harshly.

'To continue the work of probing and understanding you, Ana."

"I felt fine working with Christian!"

"Let me assure you, Ana, I will not ask you to do anything you object to or dislike…or anything against your will" Edmund continues.

"I do not know you!" I proclaim.

"Please do not fear me. I am a scientist and very much like Christian in my motives."

"Really?" I ask and hope Edmund does not know about the attraction between Christian and me.

"This is simply a friendly visit to examine you." Edmund insists.

"I am not ready for any probes, if that's what you want, Edmund. And since I don't have a choice about who comes through the portal to visit, you can tell me more about the probes and about the planet, Kepler."

"Of course, Ana. We probe you because we want…maybe need…to discover more about your emotions and physical reactions. You are so full of energy and motivation. We seem to have lost that quality on Kepler" he explains with great patience and a show of kindness. His eyes seem sad and needy.

I stare at Edmund for several seconds and then nod my assent. Edmund is just as innocent and kind as Christian.

"Well, let me tell you about Kepler, then…" he begins.