Disclaimer: Disclaimers are useless.

"You, Artemis Fowl, are a wizard," intoned Aurora Sinistra. "And you have been invited to go to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Artemis Fowl eyed the aged witch skeptically.

"Says the woman whom the gardener found trespassing on private property. Forgive me if I have my doubts about the legitimacy of your school."

She nodded sagely and wished that she had not drawn the short straw to talk to the new muggle-born students. "It's understandable," the Astronomy teacher said. "I will prove it to you."

Aurora began to pull out her wand when Artemis stopped her by putting his hand on her arm. He glanced at the large man beside him and asked, "Butler, is she...?"

The man replied, "We've checked her. Nothing but a stick of wood."

Aurora bristled at the reminder of the undignified search she had been subject to. The contraption they called a "metal detector" had been quite unnecessary, she thought. And the patting down... Artemis removed his hand and nodded his head towards her, "Go on then." With a flourish, she levitated the china being displayed on the oak table and was gratified to see Butler had slightly raised his eyebrows.

"I see," said Artemis without batting an eye. (Sinistra twitched.) "Do put the plates down gently."

She did so and asked him, "You believe me then?"

"Yes," he looked at her strangely as if to say 'wasn't that what you wanted?' Usually muggleborns needed several displays of magic before they lost their skepticism. This boy and his companion seemed to have accepted the existence of magic already.

"You mentioned a school," Artemis prompted her.

"We generally have this discussion with the guardians present..." the witch hedged.

His lips thinned. "My father is away on a business trip, my mother...indisposed at the moment," he said smoothly.

"Your current guardian?" Sinistra tried.

Butler smiled grimly (My, she had never seen a human so big before. And intimidating, she admitted quietly to herself), "That would be me."

"I would have to be away for the entirety of the school year?" Artemis asked.

"There is a winter break," shrugged Sinistra.

"And electronics do not function in Hogwarts?" said Artemis frowning.

"The magic interferes with the..ekelektricy," she answered.

"Butler cannot come?"

"I'm afraid your guardian may only accompany you up to the train station," she replied apologetically.

He shook his head with a trace of regret, "Then it's impossible; I have a company to run."

Sinistra gaped. While there was always a chance of rejection, usually it came from worried and distrustful parents. The children were always starry-eyed and eager to attend a magic school.

"Young man-" she started to say.

"You'll excuse us for a moment. We have something to discuss," said Butler, who then gently pulled Artemis out of the room and shut the doors behind them.

"I can't," said Artemis Fowl the moment they were out of hearing range.

"Oh?" Butler raised an eyebrow, "and why not?"

"Mother has just recovered, the stocks won't trade themselves, I'll be without a bodyguard..." Artemis exclaimed.

"Angeline is stronger than you think, I am more than capable of stock-brokering, and I believe we can make a compromise with the school," countered Butler.

"But-"

"Magic, Artemis. Perhaps it is not the Fairy Folk, but there is magic within you. You, not just Holly. I believe you would be foolish to discard such an opportunity."

After a moment of silence, Artemis said quietly, "Let me think it over."

Butler smiled. In his own way, Artemis had already decided.

"Arty? Arty, is that you? Come in, don't just lurk behind the door," called Angeline.

Cursing her sharp eyes (he had wanted a chance to compose himself), he walked into her room.

"Dear, do you know what all the ruckus was about earlier in the morning?" she inquired pleasantly.

Artemis swallowed and addressed her, "Mother. I have been invited to a most prestigious boarding school for the gifted in Scotland. It is very private, and its location is known to only a select few. Juliet will be accompanying me as a bodyguard. I-"

"That's wonderful," his mother said with a smile. "I am so proud of you!"

He seemed to answer her with difficulty, "Mother, Hogwarts is year-round. I won't be able to come home until December."

"Well, yes, that's what a boarding school does," she beamed. "When does it begin?"

"I-early September," Artemis stated.

"Why, it's August already. You ought to start packing, Arty!" she ordered him.

Her son left the room with an uncharacteristically bewildered look on his face. As soon as he was gone, Angeline let her smile slip.

You couldn't expect him to stay home forever.

I just...

Author's Note: Oh my god. I know - I promised the story would come out in August. *slaps self* Sorrysorrysorry. School has been an absolute nightmare. Also, this story takes place after the first book, but I changed the timeline a bit. Artemis is eleven in the present.

Now that I have this up, I will be removing my old story shortly. I hope you think this one is better. For one, it's LONGER. :P

Any mistakes? Suggestions? Concerns? REVIEW.