A Cheater's Romance
The last thing Kenny McCormick ever expected was to intensely fall in love. He was a player, a whore, a pimp. All he really cared about was large breasts and wide vaginas. It didn't matter who they belonged to. As long as he was able to fuck her, he was fine. But that was before he met Whitney Ericson, the girl of his dreams.
She was cute, had enormous titties, and actually tried to care for him, since he was poor. The woman just didn't know Kenny very well. She knew him as a handsome, sweet, innocent boy, when all of South Park knew him as a sick, perverted bastard who had an uncanny fetish for titties.
It wasn't until a month ago when Whitney had problems at home. Her husband, Edmund, had been caught cheating on her with not only other women, but other men as well. It had mentally destroyed her. Why would a man with such a blessed life commit so much adultery? She, Whitney Ericson, would always wait on him hand and foot with no complaints, caring for their three-year-old son, Troy. What was he missing?
"I-I just don't know what to do!" Whitney sobbed, pressing her wet face against Kenny's chest. If only she knew where to turn, what path to take, or even who to listen to. It was all just a foggy map, paths hidden from the darkness of confusion.
"There, there," Kenny cooed, trying to hide a smile. "Edmund just doesn't know what he's missing. You're a fucking amazing person. He just lost a great treasure."
"Yo-you really think so?" the blond girl croaked, wiping her eyes with the palms of her hands. "I'm a treasure?"
"Yes," Kenny muttered, pressing his lips against the hysterical girl. "You're a beautiful treasure, which should never be broken."
"You're sweet," Whitney whispered, a faint smile curling upon her face shortly afterwards. "Say, how about we play Edmund's game? We'll make him jealous by showing him I can be happy with some other man too."
"Only if you're up for it," Kenny breathed, allowing his hands to slide down to the girl's ass.
"Just no fucking, please. It's all an act. Remember that."
So Kenny did as he was told, aching to stick it in her with each passing day. That didn't stop him from quickly learning how to manipulate the woman into allowing him to do as he pleased with her boobs. Even with all this, the dumb broad had not the slightest clue that Kenny was a perverted sicko. She was too involved with trying to win her husband back. But why?
If Edmund wasn't screwing around with someone, he was at work, having hardly any time for his beautiful wife and son. Sad enough, Kenny spent more time with the two of them then Edmund ever did, even before Whitney decided to "date" Kenny.
"Hey, Edmund! Look at my boyfriend, Kenny! He's such a great guy! Isn't that right, Kenny?" the blond girl gloated with a sweet tone.
"Of course, Babe," Kenny responded, stroking her cheek. He allowed his rough hands to caress the girl as he fought his naughty, perverted urges within himself. It just wasn't fair. If they were going to "date", then why couldn't he at least get the privilege to touch her ass or breasts? Sure, he could seduce her into allowing it, but for some reason, he didn't want that. Kenny wanted to be able to touch her and feel her because she wanted him to. He yearned for it so badly, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was just her fake boyfriend.
"Whitney," Edmund growled, forcing Kenny out of his thought bubble. "Stay away from that creep. You know I love you, really."
"No you don't!" Whitney hissed, wrapping both arms around Kenny's neck. With great passion, the blond girl pressed her warm, wet lips against her boyfriend's, running her slender fingers through his messy hair.
Oh, how Kenny enjoyed this. In an act of impulse, he slipped his hands up her shirt, feeling her breasts.
"Oooh, Kenny," Whitney giggled, a look of warning filling her eyes.
"Stay away from my wife!" Edmund hollered, pulling the poor, perverted boy by the hood of his orange parka. The force had thrown Kenny to the ground.
"What the fuck, dude?" Kenny shot, pulling his brow into a glare.
"Stop messing with my fucking wife!" Edmund demanded, grabbing Whitney by the wrist.
"Don't touch me, you no good cheater!" Whitney said through her teeth, smacking her free hand across her husband's face. Her soft, blue eyes began to water as they glared fiercely into his soul.
"Whitney…I-….I'm sorry…" With ease, Edmund released his grip from the blond girl, his eyes softening. He couldn't bear to see her this way. It was just too painful. Had he really hurt her this much?
"Edmund…" Whitney cooed, kissing the man on his cheek. "Please stop cheating on me. I love you…"
"And I you…" A smile curled on Edmund's face, pleasing his wife. "I promise I will stop."
Still remaining on the ground, Kenny watched the two lovers in disgust. He watched as they sucked each other's faces, unable to keep their hands off of one another. "Don't be a fool, Whitney," Kenny muttered.
"Haven't seen you here in a while, Kenny," the voice of Stan echoed into the blond's ears.
"Yeah, it's been a while, dude," Kenny mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. His body may have been there, but his mind was in another world. His eyes stared into space. Kenny took no notice to his friend seating himself next to him.
"So, what's up?" Stan asked, signaling the bartender for a beer for himself.
"My life fucking sucks. You know, the usual." Kenny swallowed half his drink, turning to Stan afterwards. "How's your life?"
"Eh, It's alright. Nothing exciting is going on, but I'm okay with that." Stan shrugged, grabbing the beer the bartender had handed him. "So, why does your life suck so bad?"
"He's a whore and he's poor!" the voice of Eric Cartman poured in, followed by a cruel laugh.
"Knock it off, fat ass. Shouldn't you be at home, fucking Butters?" Stan questioned, glaring.
"I told you, I'm not gay for Butters! He's just my roommate!" Eric whined.
"Right," Kenny said with a smirk, his spirits lifting. Everyone enjoyed picking on Eric Cartman. That is, everyone except for Butters. He was obviously in love with the fat fuck. Why? No one was quite sure, and no one really wanted to know.
"I'm fucking serious, Kinny!"
Stan and Kenny laughed, watching the fat boy's face turn red.
"Fuck you guys!"
Stan took another sip of his drink. "We're only teasing, Cartman. Don't be such a damn pussy." He rolled his eyes with a smile, turning to Kenny. "So, back to our conversation. What's going on?"
"I already said, he's a poor whore. Enough said," Eric said, receiving a glare from Kenny.
"No!" Kenny sneered. "Well, you're partially right." His voice softened, grabbing all of his friend's attention.
"What the fuck? Seriously?" Stan gawked.
"Ha! Told ya!" Eric said with glee.
"Yeah…" Kenny took a big gulp of his drink before continuing. "You see, lately I've been kinda seeing this girl, Whitney. Her husband was cheating on her, so she wanted me to be her fake boyfriend so she could get even with him. The stupid bitch. And now her marriage is saved. They're back together, and I'm left in the fucking dust." Kenny groaned. "I think I actually love the fucking girl. But she's too absorbed into her relationship with her husband! I know their fucking kid more than that bastard ever does! And now, because I was touching her breasts in front of mister fantastic, I can't be fucking around them anymore! Can my life possibly get fucking worse?"
"Damn, Kenny…" Stan breathed.
"You're fucking messed up, dude," Eric added. "You're a whore. You don't get into long-term relationships with people. Get it right, God damn it!"
"You're an ass!" Kenny screeched, punching Eric in the face. "Go home to your fuck buddy and leave me alone!"
Eric stood there for a second, flinching. He tried hard to hold in his emotions, but he just couldn't. And so, Eric's eyes began to water, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Screw you, Kenny! I'm goin' home!" With that said, the fat baby left.
"What a pussy," Stan stated, just before finishing down his beer.
"Mommy, where's Kenny?" Troy Ericson questioned, tugging at his mother's pants.
"He's probably off on some adventure, sweetie," Whitney lied, lifting her son into her arms. "I'm sure he's fine. Besides, you have Daddy here."
"But I don't want Daddy, I want Kenny!" Troy complained.
"Well, I'm sorry, but Kenny's not coming over for a while…He's too busy right now…"
Why did Troy love Kenny so much? He wasn't his father. Kenny was just a sweet friend that came over frequently…until he agreed to help her with Edmund. But it wasn't like Edmund wasn't sweet to Troy. He was always trying to give them both happy lives, right? Besides, it didn't matter. Kenny was never returning.
It was tragic, but Whitney had heard from Kyle Broflovski that Kenny had committed suicide earlier in the week. His last words were that he would be back. But how? He had been dead for almost a week now. There was no way of bringing back someone from the dead. Even if there was, there probably would be some ban against it. What would come back wouldn't be human anymore. It would be a zombie.
Even though Whitney had committed a relationship to Edmund, something inside her wished Kenny could be there so she could hold him close. She wanted to ensure nothing could harm him; nothing could tear him apart. But there was nothing she could do. Kenny was dead, and that was the end of it. She just hoped, where ever Kenny was, he was in a better place.
Sighing heavily, the boy in the orange parka looked up to the tall man next to him. "Can I leave Hell now, Satan?"
I know, this probably seems rushed, but I just wanted to get this finished. I didn't want it to be a giant story like I probably could've turned it into. I just wanted it to be a short one-shot. This is actually based on a roleplay I had, so partial credit goes to my sister for the plot idea. Enjoy this crappy, rushed, and way too short fan fiction about Kenny.