Okay, this one came to me the other night after listening to this song several times, and it got me thinking. It was a little more difficult to write because it hit so close to home for me, and maybe that's why I gave it the ending that I did. Anyways, the song is Single Father, by Kid Rock, and I hope ya'll will enjoy it!
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
Thanks go out to Confused and RoadRunner for helping me with this... thanks, bunnies!
Mike Logan smiled as his six year old son ran up to him, and he grabbed him in his arms and spun him around before setting him down on the ground. "How was school today, kid?" he asked as he took his son's hand and led him to his SUV.
His son proceeded to tell him all about his day in the exciting world of first grade, and he couldn't help but grin at the child's fascination with the world around him. He truly was his mother's child, from his thick, dark brown curls to his insatiable appetite for learning anything and everything that he possibly could.
Carolyn's smiling face entered his mind, and he bit his lip and gripped the steering wheel harder, until they finally reached the apartment. Chris bounded into the apartment ahead of his father, tossing his backpack in his bedroom, then flopped onto the bed.
Mike could tell something was wrong with him, so he walked into the room and sat at the foot of the bed. "What's wrong, little man?" he asked softly, and Chris looked up at him with dark brown eyes, making Mike think that he was looking into Carolyn's eyes again.
His bottom lip quivered, and Mike stood up and joined him at the head of the bed, opening his arms for Chris to lean into his side. "Daddy, why did Mommy leave us?" Chris asked in a quavering voice, and Mike felt his own throat tighten. He wrapped his arms around his son and thought for a moment, his heart tearing into pieces all over again.
"Chris, why are you worried about that?" Mike asked, and he shuddered a little.
"Everyone else has a mommy. Why don't I?" Chris asked, and Mike felt tears burn his eyes. They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Mike finally found his voice again.
"Son, your mom loved you very, very much," he stated, and Chris rested his head against Mike's shoulder. "You were her perfect little angel. She used to spend hours singing and rocking you to sleep in that old rocking chair." Chris smiled a little. "I was horrible. All you would do was scream with me, unless I was walking around. The second I stopped moving, you were screaming bloody murder." This made Chris laugh, and the sound brought a small smile to Mike's face.
The silence returned, and Mike looked at his son, Carolyn's son. He had never once thought that he would be raising their son by himself, but really he wasn't completely alone. And that gave him an idea.
"You know something, kid? You might not have a mom like everyone else, but I'll bet you no one else has an Aunt Alex and Uncle Bobby and a cousin Alexander, or a Grandpa Jimmy." He hugged his son again, and Chris laughed.
Lately I've been spending lots of time with my kid
Telling him stories about the things that we did
When we were a family, long time ago
I've answered his questions till I'm blue in the face
Wish all the hurt in him I could erase
But I tell him the truth, cause he ain't too young to know
Single father, part time mother
When I'm not one, then I'm the other
You used to be my full time lover
Now I'm a single father, and a part time mother
The next night, after eating hamburgers and French fries, Mike brought out the new train set that he had bought for his son. They pulled it out of the box and began to put it together on the carpeted floor of the living room.
Every once in a while, Mike looked at Chris and grinned with pride. He was so much like him in many ways, and was just like his mother in others. Sometimes he still couldn't believe that she was gone. She was the love of his life, and in a split second half of his very existence had been ripped out of him. Some mornings, he felt like he couldn't even get out of bed, he hurt so much.
But his son, their son, kept him going. Every morning, he'd come into the bedroom and pounce on him to wake Mike up, and every night, Mike bathed him and tucked him into bed. Chris was his world, and sometimes he wondered how he could love someone more than his own life, how he could love someone so much that he would die for him.
He knew that one day, he would have to explain to his son why she was gone, and he dreaded the day.
I spend every minute I can with my boy
There's no doubt about it, he's my pride and joy
Someday he'll grow up, and I won't have him no more
Some things I just find too hard to explain
So we go to McDonald's, or I buy him a train
And we put it together on the living room floor
As they continued to work on putting the train together, Chris lifted his head and asked, "Daddy, why did Mommy have to go to Heaven? Doesn't she love us anymore?"
His question made Mike choke on the air in his lungs, and he looked at his son's wide and dark eyes. Mike rose somewhat unsteadily to his feet, then walked over to his son and lifted him into his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest. "Son," he choked out, "I don't know why God decided to make your Mommy an angel. But I do know that she loved us so much, and that she still does. Remember what I told you about angels?"
"That they're always watching over us?" Chris questioned, and Mike nodded slowly.
"Yes, Chris. Your mom is an angel, and she's watching over you all the time. She still loves you, even if you can't see or hear her. And she can hear you whenever you talk to her." Chris thought about it for a moment, then nodded his head in acceptance. "Good, kid. Now, let's get this train finished, okay?"
CICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICICI
After tucking Chris into bed, Mike walked out of the room, but Chris's quiet voice drew him back to the door. He leaned against the wall as he heard his son speaking softly.
"Hi, Mommy. Daddy says that you can hear me, so can you please…" There was quiet. "Can you please come back home?"
Mike's heart broke, and he felt a single tear roll down his cheek before he could stop it. Sometimes he wished that his son's innocence was still untainted, that he had never lost his mother, that he had never lost his wife. But the raw truth was that a single bullet from a maniac's gun had stolen her from both of them, and deprived the world of something beautiful.
Wiping the tear from his cheek, Mike walked into his bedroom and picked up their wedding photo. "I miss you, Car. We both do," he whispered. Then he kissed the picture and reverently set it in it's rightful place before crawling into his bed.
He tossed and turned all night, his arms aching to hold what he could no longer touch. His already broken heart shattered even further, and he thought that he had never felt so alone in his life.
Such is the life of a single father
He says, "Daddy, explain if it's not too much bother
Why it's just you and me living here in this home?"
I don't understand it, and neither does he
Why there's just two, when there should be three
Of us sharing this moment, Lord I feel so alone
Later that night, Mike awoke with a start, his heart pounding and his body covered in a layer of sweat. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something move, and he climbed out of the bed and walked across the floor. She was standing in front of the door, and his mouth went dry as she whispered, "Hi, Mike."
He couldn't believe that she was really there, alive and breathing in front of him. With a sob, he fell to his knees, wrapping his arms tightly around her middle. She fell too, burying her face in his shoulder as she clung to him and wept.
"I'm so sorry, Mike. I'm so sorry," she whispered as he shivered in her arms, and she held onto him tighter. "I didn't want to leave you or Chris, but they didn't give me a choice. I'm so sorry."
He froze for a moment, then slowly rose to his feet, and she watched in pained terror as he walked out of the room. But her breath returned when he walked back into the room, cradling their sleeping son in his arms. He gently placed him in her arms, then took her by the arm and led her to the bed. She laid their son between them, then reached out and closed her hand over Mike's forearm, stroking his skin softly with her thumb.
He had so many questions as he gazed down into her chocolate brown eyes, but they could wait until morning, he finally decided. With a trembling hand, he reached out and cupped her soft cheek, and she squeezed his arm gently. No words were necessary tonight. They were a family again.
Single father, part time mother
When I'm not one, then I'm the other
You used to be my full time lover
Now I'm a single father, and a part time mother
You used to be my full time lover
Now I'm a single father, and a part time mother
Now I'm a single father, and a part time mother
The End
A/N: Okay, well, I hope that ya'll enjoyed it, and please remember to review! (Oh, and because I know someone'll ask, I don't know where Carolyn went or why she was in WP. I just couldn't kill her off, and having her abandon Mike and their son wouldn't have been her. Just so ya'll know...)