With Puck, it's like fire. All lips and tongue and that burning underlying need for 'more'. He makes her feel wanted, needed even. If only for a little while. Because with sighs of satisfaction and small grunts of euphoria, she's complete.
After it's over, she feels just a little bit more empty than when it began.
…
With Finn, it's like water. Like Puck, there's lips, tongues, the clashing of teeth. But beneath the sex, the physicality, there's something more. As much as she hates to admit it, there is a hint of longing, want, a need for perhaps a happy ending for a change, somewhere between the sheets.
And that terrifies her. Because she doesn't feel that way for anybody. She won't admit it to anyone, but all the lust she flaunts compensates for her fear of falling.
She takes his virginity and it's sloppy and messy. But after, she's sure there's something.
Later, he drowns her.
…
With Brittany, it's like gravity. With Brittany, she's sure there's a happy ending waiting for her somewhere, someday. And while she hates fairy tales, she can't help but feel that they exist. She kisses Brittany as if it's the only thing keeping her there, rooting her to the ground. With Brittany, there is no sex, only love. Love manufactured by two hearts beating in perfect sync.
It's a wheel chair that separates them permanently and she knows she only has one final shot. So, she tells Brittany she loves her. Except the hall is too loud with students shuffling past them, giving them dirty looks as they disappear around corners and into classrooms. Except, Brittany doesn't understand with all of her imperfections, bless her soul. Except, the clocks on the wall are telling her that the timing's wrong; that it's too late.
(It's never too late, she thinks to herself).
Brittany chooses him anyway.
…
Sitting on the overpass, she wonders why no one seems to want her.
Santana herself is like air. Needed for fire, needed for water. Needed for gravity. Needed perhaps, but not necessarily wanted.
'It's never too late.' the clocks on the wall tell her. For once, she agrees.
And then she drops off the overpass, falling. (Falling, unafraid, for once). Sailing down through the air, through herself until she simply floats. Floats up, up and away into white.