AN: RATED R FOR A REASON PEOPLE! BEWARB! CHAPTER CONTAINS: VIOLENCE, SEXUAL DIALOG, LANGUAGE, AND DARK SUGGESTIVE THEMES! Readers' discretion is unbelievably advised. lol
Bipifica's bounty
The two drove away from Gravity falls after the massacre they created. They both decided to move to Texas and try to have a low profile…
"So Dipshit, what next?" Pacifica asked as she was driving the stolen car from the jail back in Gravity falls.
"Well when we arrive in Texas, we have to settle down until the heat on us cools down." Dipper said then suddenly the radio stopped the song they were listening to and an emergency alert came on…
"Attention. Attention. We apologize for interrupting your radio program for this emergency alert. Two fugitives have committed a string of mass murders and are on the run. The FBI has stated that these two have made their way to the top ten of the most wanted list. The two are a young man and a young woman near the same age. The young man, known as Dipper Pines, has yellow eyes, brown hair, looks to be 17 and his companion, known as Pacifica Northwest, has blonde hair, red eyes, and looks to be 17 years old as well. Be alert and notify authorities about their location. Do not attempt to apprehend the fugitives, they are very dangerous and have murdered everyone in their path including two government agents. Please use caution, thank you for your time and we now return you to your original programing." The radio said.
"WOOHOO! We made it to the top FBI list! Hahahahahaha." Dipper laughed manically.
"Sigh… Only someone as fucking crazy as you could be happy about this." Pacifica said.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the backstreets of Huston Texas…
"So will you accept the job?" A shady man asked.
"Sure. You guys only call me unless it was serious. I'll take out these two little freaks for ya." The redheaded woman said as she took a drag from her cigarette.
"Just to let you know… We've been tracking their movements and they seem to be heading this way." The man said.
"Just give me the damn file on them! Geez, you government guys always stall on the important shit." She said.
The government agent in the drench coat gave the bounty hunter Wendy Corduroy the file and she looked it over while still smoking her cigarette.
"Looks like these two fucks have really screwed shit up. Who kills an entire school?" Wendy said.
"The two targets killed two of our Oregon agents that were stationed there. If you bring them in please make sure they are dead. We will pay you handsomely for your…services." The agent said.
"Alright but half now and half after I bring in the bodies or at least a picture of them." Wendy said and the agent handed her the envelope filled with twenty-two thousand dollars.
Wendy then inhaled the last of her cigarette and stepped on the bud.
"Alright, these two are as good as dead." Wendy said…
4 hours later…
Dipper and Pacifica arrived at a local hotel at the outskirts of Huston. They then walked into the hotel and got a room for the night…
"Whew, about time we got some rest." Dipper said until a lamp was throw at his face.
"Sigh…Pacifica I know you are in the mood but I'm not really up to sex right now." Dipper said.
"Shut up you damn idiot, like me throwing a lamp at your face means I want to have damn sex! I'm pissed off and needed to hurt someone." Pacifica said.
"And why part-tell are you pissed off?" Dipper asked.
"Because your dumbass got us on the most wanted list and we can't go back to a normal life YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Pacifica screamed as she threw another lamp at Dipper.
"You know we would have to pay for these, right?" Dipper said with a smile until Pacifica walked up to him and was about to hit his face until…
BOOM! The door got blasted by a grenade and Wendy walked into the blown half to hell room with a M4 assault rifle in hand, a crossbow on her back, knives around her boots, and a .44 magnum revolver in holster on her hip. She was wearing a white tank with camo pants. She looked and saw both bodies on the floor.
"Well. That was easier than I thought. Time to collect…" Wendy said but then was startled from a sadistic laughter.
"Hahahahahahahahaha… Wow. Just who the hell are you hot stuff?" Dipper asked as he smiled and got up from the debris.
Suddenly his head was met with a broken piece of wood smacking his face.
"OW! Paz don't be rude we have a guest." Dipper said.
"Shut up! You called her hot and you know damn well how I feel when you look at anyone besides me!" Pacifica said a she threw a piece of concrete at Dipper's face.
"Are these guys for real?" Wendy said while watching the two go at it.
"Okay OKAY UNCLE UNCLE!" Dipper whined as Pacifica was twisting his ankle 4 times around.
"As much as I like to let you two continue this weird, unnatural, and completely inhuman love squabble, it's time to die!" Wendy said as she lifted her gun and pulled the trigger until her magazine was emptied and the two laid on the flood in a pool of blood.
However, Dipper then laughed again…
"Hahaha. Come on Paz, can we please keep her?" Dipper pleaded.
"I told you NO!" Pacifica shouted.
"What the hell!? How are you two still alive!?" Wendy demanded as she looked at them in shock.
"Look red. He's a demon and I'm a vamp. Now shut your cock hole while I kill this prick for undressing other women with his fucking eyes!" Pacifica said as she pounced on Dipper and started punching and throwing him around the room all the while Wendy was just watching with disbelief at their strength and their ability not to die.
"What the hell did I get myself into?" Wendy asked herself
4 hours later…
You would think the hotel management or any of the guests would call the police or something. However, thanks to Wendy's special id the agent gave her, she was able to vacant the whole hotel so she could hunt her pray.
However, after finding her pray and watching them both kill each other for 4 whole hours she eventually got bored and sat down in a chair and watched them until they were finished from exhaustion.
"You two done?" Wendy asked.
"Yeah…I think we're done now. Sorry about that." Dipper said until his face was met with another punch.
"I'M NOT!" Pacifica shouted.
"Sigh… Look I just want to ask you two some questions." Wendy said getting irritated from all their killing of each other.
"I thought you came to kill us?" Pacifica said.
"Well after watching you two take a grenade blast, a full mag of M4 rounds, and both you killing each other for 4 whole damn hours I can pretty much tell you two can't die.
"So what do you want to know then?" Dipper asked now trying to be more civil.
"For starters, how the hell are you two a demon and a vampire? I thought those things didn't exist." Wendy said.
"Well I guess you should dye your hair blonde because you were dumb enough not to believe." Pacifica said.
"You know you are a blonde right?" Dipper said with a smile until his face was met with another punch.
"Awww. I love you too." Dipper said.
"Fucking psycho. Now what else do you want to know?" Pacifica asked.
"So you two really kill off a whole school and two government agents?" Wendy asked.
"Do you really have to ask? Of course we did…Well I should say she did but I helped and watched her bloodshed." Dipper said with a sadistic smile.
"…Wow. You guys really have no mercy, do you?" Wendy said.
"Not really… Now what are you going to do now? Call the Government and let them know where we are? Try to kill us some more? Or would you like to get more…intimate?" Dipper asked while wiggling his eye brows and smiling lustfully after seeing Wendy's sweat trickle down her face and down her cleavage. Suddenly Pacifica punched his face again and sent him flying into a wall.
"I told you to KNOCK IT OFF!" Pacifica shouted.
"You two are really fucked up." Wendy said still in shock about the situation.
"Well even though he's a fucking psychopathic demon with lust and killing on his mind 24/7, I still love him and he loves me. It's kind of a love-hate kind of thing. So… What's your name?" Pacifica asked.
"It's…Wendy." Wendy said trying not give her full name to protect her identity.
"Hi Wendy, my name is Dipper or Bill or Bipper and this is my girlfriend Pacifica-" Dipper said until his face was met with another piece of concrete from Pacifica.
"So are you guys going to…kill me now?" Wendy nervously asked.
"Hmm…Well… To be honest, I don't have any real reason to kill you…unless you plan on telling the Government about our location." Pacifica said.
"I won't…" Wendy said.
"How do we know you are telling us the truth?" Pacifica asked.
"Hold up Paz. I just got a great idea." Dipper said as he came back from the cratered wall only just to be punched again and sent flying back to the same place again.
"No one said you could come out from time out mister!" Pacifica said.
"Listen to me! I actually got a great plan to get the Government off our asses." Dipper said.
"Sigh… Fine, what's your plan? And it better not involve having sex with red over here." Pacifica said.
"Wendy would take a picture of us acting dead and return to the Government agents and get us off their damn wanted list." Dipper said.
"That's…actually a good idea." Pacifica said.
"However, that's assuming that Wendy here is willing to do this for us." Dipper said.
"Well… My orders were to actually kill you though…" Wendy said.
"But think about it. Once you hand them the picture, you can collect on the reward money and they won't have the slightest clue." Dipper said.
"True… And since I can't kill either of you, I think this might be the best plan of action for all three of us…" Wendy said.
"So do we have a deal?" Dipper asked as he lifted up his hand with blue fire engulfed around it.
"Whoa! What the hell!? I'm not shaking a hand that's on fire!" Wendy said freaking out a little.
"Don't worry, the fire won't harm you. It's just a deal my kind of demon makes that seals the bond. Once you shake the hand, you would have no choice but to complete the deal…otherwise great consequences will happen." Dipper said trying to sound dark in the last part.
"Yeah yeah yeah. Don't need to sound geeky, demon dork." Wendy said as she grabbed the hand and shook it, sealing the deal.
"Good. Now it's time to play our part but there is a small problem with that." Dipper said.
"What is it?" Wendy asked.
"Well once we get injured in any way, we heal almost instantly so you would have to take the picture fast before our gunshot wounds heal." Dipper said.
"How about this… Wendy gets ready with the camera and I shoot you." Pacifica said.
"But she needs both of us in the picture and you would just enjoy shooting me anyways." Dipper said which made Pacifica smile.
"Yes to the second part but Wendy can take separate photos of us, she doesn't need us together in just one picture." Pacifica said.
"But I want a picture of you and me together…" Dipper said with sad eyes and a quivering lower lip like he was about to cry.
"SIGH! Fine! Once she takes separate pictures of us then she can take a picture of both of us together, ok?" Pacifica said.
"YAY!" Dipper cheered like a little kid.
"I said it before and I'll say it again… You two are really fucked up." Wendy said.
"Yeah yeah yeah red. Just get the camera ready and give me the gun." Pacifica said.
Wendy pulled out a camera but was hesitant to give the vampire her assault rifle…
"Oh for the love of… Look, we aren't going to kill you. Especially with your gun, we are more civil than that…We would just pull off your limbs, drink your blood, and skull fuck your dead corpse." Pacifica said.
"How the hell is that civil?!" Wendy said completely scared with a new fear until Pacifica yanked the M4 out of Wendy's hands.
"Just get the camera ready… And you, face me so I can unload all over your face!" Pacifica said as she turned her attention from Wendy to Dipper.
"Hahahaha. Sounds kinda of gay Paz, are you sure you aren't a gay man in disguise?" Dipper asked with a smile until his face was shot up a bunch of times and fell to the ground in a bloody mess.
"Now hurry and take the pic!" Pacifica said and Wendy did just that before Dipper got back up and healed instantly thanks to his demonic power.
"Now it's my tur-" Dipper said until his face was met with more bullets.
"What the fuck are you doing!?" Wendy panicked.
"I'm not done releasing my damn stress on this asshole!" Pacifica said as she grabbed another of Wendy's magazines off her belt and shot Dipper again while he was on the ground taking all the punishment.
"What's the safety word again?" Dipper asked in a pool of blood and bullet holes all over his face.
His face was so mangled up that only one half of an eye, part of his mouth, and a little bit of flesh was still there on his face once Pacifica shot all but one of Wendy's clips. Right as Pacifica was about to grab the last one Wendy stopped her.
"Ok two things… One we need this for your picture and two we don't have all night. The hotel management and employees are going to be back in less than an hour so we have to wrap this shit up." Wendy said.
"Ugh…Fine… Get up demon douche bag." Pacifica said and Dipper did just that as his face was finally healing up after Pacifica's warfare on his face.
"Now lie down." Wendy said and Pacifica did that.
"Payback time! Hahahaha." Dipper laughed.
"Hurry up and get it over with all ready. I really need a shower." Pacifica said.
Once Dipper shot the whole mag all over Pacifica's body and Wendy took the picture, all three of them left the destroyed hotel room and got into Wendy's car…
"It sucks we can't take my car." Pacifica whined.
"Well if we did then the Government would know that we weren't dead." Dipper said.
"Not really…" Wendy said.
"What are you talking about?" Dipper asked.
"Well if I had failed to kill you and you two got away in your car, it would of blown up in 30 seconds or if I pressed the button on the detonator." Wendy explained.
"AWWWW MAN! And here I wanted to be blown up again." Dipper whined.
"Well I disarmed it now since we left in my car and left yours behind so no one can kill themselves accidentally it they took the car." Wendy explained.
"Aww. Take the fun out of the surprise." Pacifica whined.
"You two are weird and fucked. I can't believe I got myself into this mess." Wendy said.
"Well get used to it because you're stuck with us honey." Dipper said while placing a hand on Wendy's thy only to be crushed by Pacifica's hand and then she threw him out of the moving vehicle at 65 miles per hour from the back seat.
"What did you do that for? Now we have to go back and get his ass." Wendy said.
"He deserved it for touching another woman besides me…and don't worry about turning around he'll be back in no time." Pacifica said while crossing her arms.
"What are you talking abou-" Wendy said until a puff of yellow smoke appeared and Dipper was once again in the passenger seat.
"Speak of the devil and he shall return." Pacifica said.
"What did I miss?" Dipper asked.
"Nothing much really…um are you going to watch the road now?" Pacifica said as she turn her attention away from Dipper and back to Wendy who was in shock from seeing Dipper's teleportation back into her car.
"Oh shit, sorry." Wendy said as she corrected herself on the road before getting hit by a truck coming from the other way.
Once the three got to another hotel Dipper and Pacifica went into their new room while Wendy was in the doorway.
"I have to report these pictures and collect the money now…so I guess I'll get going then." Wendy said.
"So you aren't going to stay with us once you collected your reward money?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah. Do you really have to leave us now?" Pacifica asked.
Wendy was shocked…Well she assumed why Dipper wanted her to stay with them being because he lustfully wants her. However, she was surprised to hear Pacifica wanting to have her stay too and she wondered why…
"Don't take this the wrong way guys…but why should I stay with you two after I collect my money?" Wendy asked.
"Well…believe it or not, you are our first real…friend." Dipper said and Pacifica nodded in agreement.
This really pulled on Wendy's heart strings because throughout her life she never expect her targets would become her…friends. Wendy couldn't help but smile after that.
"Sure…Beats killing for these Government douche bags." Wendy said and both Pacifica and Dipper smiled as they made a new friend.
Later on…
After Wendy got her money and Dipper and Pacifica made her their new friend, all three of them drove away in the sunset in Wendy's car. Things would get interesting for these three. Dipper would be trying to be sexually involved with Wendy and Pacifica would rip out his intestines, only later to make up with him. Wendy would enjoy their perverted and sadistic jokes while spending her time with them. And all three would live happily ever after…
.
.
.
.
YEAH RIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
THE END/TO BE CONTINUED (MAYBE)
AN: Lol you know what? I really enjoy making these kind of stories. Perhaps I shall make another one (Maybe). Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have…(well not as much as I have) but at least liked it enough to where it's worth praising. Well got to go, see you next time…BYE.