Baby, It's Cold Outside, a kung fu panda fanfic

Happy Holidays, Kiddos!

Merry Christmas FanFiction Land! It's Kippis here with another one-shot story, featuring, of course, everyone's favorite (okay not everyone's favorite) Tiger-Panda couple. This one just kinda wrote itself, except for the lyrics of the song, which I do not have the pleasure of owning. Hope you all enjoy this bit of holiday fluff and have a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, Kwanzaa, or any other holiday that I haven't mentioned! The plot in a nutshell? A blizzard hits the city and Jack (Po) tries to convince Angie (Tigress) that going out there is, well, a bad idea…the characters are portrayed as actual actors from the film, which means they're not CGI characters. They played their own roles as themselves. So yeah…whatevas.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

A Yuletide fanfic by Yours Truly. Merry Christmas!

…

Dave Koz here on the smoothest place on your radio, 87.7 WKLS, Chicago's only smooth jazz station. It's time to update weather on the sevens, and what a mess it is out there, huh Rick?

Thanks Dave. Well, as many of you in the listening area already can see, heavy snow has begun to fall across much of northern Illinois as the weather center had been anticipating. In addition to the snow, temps have been steadily dropping into the low teens with wind chills dipping into the negative for much of the Chicagoland area this evening. The snow will continue to fall through the overnight hours, accumulating as much as up to three feet in some areas…

We'll keep you posted throughout the night, but for right now, it's best to brew a nice hot cup of cocoa and snuggle up to that roaring fireplace. Keeping you warm all night long, this is Rick O'Dell, handing it back over to my buddy Dave…

I really can't stay – Baby it's cold outside. I've got to away – Baby it's cold outside.

This evening has been – Been hoping that you'd drop in. So very nice – I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice…

"What a mess, huh?"

"It sure sounds like it. I'll bet the driving out there is just murder."

The female tiger looked at the male panda in front of her, fidgeting in her place on his sofa. "I know…but listen Jack, I really should get on the road. It's getting late and I've got to make sure I make it back home in time."

Jack turned down the radio, which by now was dolling out commute times, and sighed. Affixing the tiger with a critical gaze from where he stood in front of her, the panda leaned down and grabbed a few logs from a pile, tossing them into an already roaring fire. "But you heard the report; how the hell are you possibly going to drive up to Milwaukee in this mess? You should just spend the night – and leave bright and early tomorrow morning."

"I appreciate the offer, I really do," she shot back. "…but I don't think that staying here is the best idea in the world."

"Ah, come on Ang, don't give me that. And here I was, thinking that you actually wanted to see me."

She frowned at him, but he just shrugged his shoulders and laughed, which she quickly joined in. "You're such an ass, you know that?"

"The biggest ass in the world," He teased. The tiger smiled and hit his shoulder.

In the months following the release of Kung Fu Panda, Jack and Angie found themselves spending much more time together, very much against the portrayal of the heavy tension between their respective characters on the silver screen. No one that worked on the film were banking on the idea that the movie would be as big of a blockbuster as it was, and subsequently, preparations were already being made in the production of a sequel to continue the series. Rumors were already flying over the possibility of which characters could serve as being potential romantic interests. Tigress and Po – or TiPo, Pogress…whatever the fans were calling it now – being by far the most popular.

The producers were taking the fans' requests to heart, and thus spent a good deal of time trying to work a plot around bringing these two characters closer together. Neither Jack nor Angelina minded this sudden change in events, so long as the writers did it tastefully enough; all recurring cast members had gotten a preliminary draft of the script before shutting down production for the holidays.

Jack had flown home to his childhood home of Chicago for Christmas, where he'd grown up with aspirations of being the city's next major screenwriter. His dreams of being a playwright never really came to fruition, but he still found considerable happiness in being an actor. Angie, on the other hand, was a Wisconsin native, and lived in suburban Milwaukee with her parents and eight siblings…stopping by Jack's home for a surprise visit before finally getting back home to her family.

Unlike Jack's wish to be a writer, she'd wanted to be an architect, just like her father. Acting wasn't anything close to what she dreamed of being when she was younger, but her parents pushed her into the profession when she showed significant talents in it. It was always a bit funny to her how life seemed to play out for some people.

They'd been spending much of the day together reading over the latest script revisions sent from the director, and Jack treated her to dinner at an elegant French bistro downtown. The extravagant décor and the intimate candle-lit atmosphere were a bit more than she was anticipating, but he was quick to remind her of her secret love for French cuisine, which she immediately clung to as a viable excuse for the whole thing.

Returning to his home they resumed reading though the script together, quickly losing themselves to the time as the afternoon quickly wore on. By now it was already nighttime, much later than either of them had realized.

"This sounds a bit off, doesn't it?" Jack said, sitting down next to her. "I mean, I don't think they'd kiss so soon, especially if Jennifer wants to pull a third movie out of this…"

"Kiss?" Angie repeated. "I don't remember a kiss anywhere in there."

"It's in the revised copy, see?" He showed her his copy of the script, and sure enough, towards the bottom third of the page she saw a line of text which read: 'At this point, Tigress presses a quick peck to his lips.'

"That's just a peck. It's nonsense."

"Hey, a kiss is a kiss…" He puckered his lips and leaned towards her. "Besides, you were a total bitch to me in the first movie. Kiss me, Master Tigress, kiss me!"

"Cut that out," she pushed him away. "Keep it up and you'll be looking at a one-way ticket to pain and misery." Angie grabbed her purse from the coffee table and searched for her cell phone. Although there were no missed calls from her family, one thing did happen to catch her eye. It was the time, which according to the small device read nine minutes to midnight.

"Oh, shit!" she cursed. "It's almost midnight and I haven't even left yet! They're going to kill me!"

"Ang, I already told you, it's suicide to go out in this weather. I'll make up the sofa, you're more than welcome to stay the night. Mi casa es su casa, you know…and we had a fun day together, right?"

"Of course I did. It was wonderful, Jack."

If it weren't for the fact that Christmas Day was only nine – now eight – minutes away, she would have loved to stay with him. She didn't want to leave because she wanted to, not exactly. Even from the very first day she'd met him, when they began working together, she could openly admit that she liked being around the man. Kind, witty and intelligent; not to mention that his one-liners were totally killer. He had a personality that was impossible to hate.

My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what's your hurry? My father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar… So really I'd better scurry – Beautiful, please don't hurry. Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some music on while I pour…

The feline set the phone down, distractedly twiddling her purse's handstrap between clawed fingertips.

Angelina sighed. "I know it isn't rational for me to be out in this storm, but I'll never hear the end of it from my folks if I'm not there to celebrate Christmas with them."

Jack paid her worries no mind as he took her glass from the coffee table; it still had a drop of Bacardi at the bottom, mixing together with water from the melting ice cubes. "You want me to pour you another drink?" He asked. She gave him a hesitant nod, and he proceeded to pour more rum into her glass.

She took it from him, shivering slightly as his fingers lightly brushed against hers. "Thank you."

He smiled and turned the radio back up. There were no more reports to speak of, just the soft sound of smooth jazz music…the incredible vocal work of Vanessa Williams by the sound of it. Her eyelids began to get a bit heavier as she sipped slowly from her glass, the rum gently cascading down her throat in warm, mild waves as she unconsciously nudged a bit closer to his body.

Angie rested her head on his shoulder, and allowed a soft sigh to escape her lips. "This will be the first time I'll be late for Christmas." She paused. "And it's always the same routine year after year. Dad always would chop down the biggest fir tree he could find, and Mom would be in the kitchen, baking cinnamon cookies shaped like reindeer…but I still miss that most of the year being out in L.A."

"Yeah," Jack nodded slightly. "You need that at least one day a year."

They both went silent for a while, and Angie let her eyes wander over to the large picture window on the opposite side of the room. She stared out at the millions of delicate little snowflakes as they danced ever downward, covering the landscape in a pristine, silvery white blanket. There wasn't a soul out there. Not even the sounds of snow blowers graced the twilight air. She could only imagine how much snow her car was buried under by now…

"…Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"How do they lead up to the kiss?" She asked innocently; Jack felt his cheeks heat up. "Is there any dialogue?"

"Not a lot, but there is a little bit, yeah," He looked at the script in his lap, which was still turned to the right page. "Why, you want to go over it?"

"Might as well, as long as it's here."

"Alright, well, we're both at the Thread of Hope…Lord Shen has been vanquished, but I've been badly injured. I'm lying down in the grass, and you're beside me. I say: 'Tigress, I've always wanted to tell you that you were my idol.' And then you say: 'I think a part of me has always known how you felt.'" He paused for a moment. "I look up into your eyes, and then…"

"We kiss." She finished the sentence for him.

"But it's just a peck…" he clarified.

She stared at him, leaning her head closer to his. "Yes, just a peck…"

He smiled. "Hey…"

She smiled back. "Hey."

Before either of them realized what they were doing, their lips met in a soft and warm kiss.

…

In another moment, their lips parted, the connection between them suddenly broken as they stared into each other's eyes. Jack caught a sudden look of desire in the feline's gaze and immediately felt a pull in his groin, growling lowly to try and keep himself contained.

She didn't seem to notice this, and instead found solace in bringing his face down to meet hers in another kiss.

The neighbors might think – Baby, it's bad out there. Say, what's in this drink – No cabs to be had out there. I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now…To break this spell – I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell…

It ended much more abruptly this time, losing the magic of their first intimate contact as she pulled away from him, scrambling to the other side of the couch in a futile attempt to put as much space between her and the panda as possible. "W-What the hell was that? What are we doing?" She stammered, desperately trying to keep her emotions in check. "Jack, I think need to leave…right now."

He blinked disbelievingly at her. "Ang, calm down. You're not going anywhere."

"We just kissed Jack! Twice!" She half-yelled. "This is wrong. Think of the consequences of what we're doing…"

"Stop that." He said sternly. Amazingly enough, it was enough to silence her. "Sooner or later it was bound to happen…sometimes when two people work together this closely, things like this happen! How much longer are we going to refuse each other, Angie?"

"But we were supposed to be acting!" She defended. "I wasn't supposed to like it!"

"It's okay that you liked it; I liked it, too…"

"Y-you liked it?"

He nodded.

Her heart was hammering against her chest, but she said nothing. He was right, after all – they had flirted on more than one occasion, both on and off the set during filming. And perhaps the most horrifying realization of all…was that those two kisses…almost felt right. She looked up at him again, sporting a fairly visible blush and tucking an invisible strand of fur behind her ear, quickly regaining her composure. "But…but what do we say about this in public? People will find out about this."

"Let them," He resolutely responded. "I don't care what they think, and neither should you."

"And my family would never allow this," she said shyly, her eyes still caught in his hot stare.

He pulled her closer. "You're so beautiful; I just can't help myself." The panda murmured, pressing his lips against her neck. She moaned as he trailed kisses up and down her neck, biting her lower lip and pumping her paws into fists when his jaws bit into soft flesh, sucking gently but never bruising or breaking skin. He released her neck, then, raising his head high enough so that he could run his nose against her soft lips, murring gently when she actually reciprocated his actions by licking his nose, and gently kissing the tip of his chin.

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside. The answer is no - Ooh baby, it's cold outside. This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in. So nice and warm - Look out the window at that storm…My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious. My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore.

My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Gosh your lips look delicious. Well maybe just a half a drink more - Never such a blizzard before…

"Oh Jack," She sighed softly, almost willing to become lost in this sudden affair. "What will my parents think? They know I'm here…with all the presents for my nieces and nephews. And my aunt Pam will tell them we're doing something scandalous; she has a vicious mind…"

And so she went on into a worry induced rant.

He simply smiled and replied, "She's telling the truth. We are doing something scandalous. Besides, we still have all night to think of something to tell them in the morning…" Jack ran his paws up and down her slender frame, gaining ground against her unwillingness to continue when she inadvertently purred at his touch. Keeping this encouraging sign from her in mind, he pressed her down on the sofa, and gently locked his muzzle against hers.

She heard the voices in her head screaming at her to stop. This isn't right! This isn't right…you shouldn't be doing this! You shouldn't feel this way…

But her inner pleas ultimately fell onto deaf ears. The tiger could feel her inner animal instinct quickly taking the place of rational thinking. Unable to contain herself any longer, she released a shuddering moan of pleasure against his lips, yowling violently while her tongue searched for an entrance into her companion's mouth. He parted his lips to allow her entrance, and she wasted no time in probing every last inch of his mouth with her rough feline tongue. Her arms slipped around his neck, her claws extracting to latch onto him as his body sank towards hers.

In her haste to pull him flush against her, she felt the tented bulge growing underneath his pants, and answered by gyrating her hips more vigorously against his. Together they fell back into the cushions, with panda on top of tiger. With their kisses rapidly deepening and their paws beginning to wander and explore, they collapsed happily into each other's embrace and sank deeper and deeper into the warm fabric of the sofa…

But with both of them entangled within the midst of their heated passion, they failed to notice her cell phone, which began vibrating endlessly on the coffee table in front of them. No doubt that her family had decided to take action to find their missing kin. It was curtly ignored, and the phone went still.

Purring contentedly, the feline broke away from her newfound lover. "Wow…" She said breathlessly.

"How could you do this to me, Ang?" He asked her, gasping for air. "Make me so crazy for you?"

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there. Say, lend me your comb - It's up to your knees out there. You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now. But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me…?

The fire burned warmly and filled the room with a soft, iridescent glow, and the bitter arctic winter winds howled outside the window…but all they noticed was the glow of each other's eyes and the sound of the soft Christmas music playing.

They knew there would be consequences for what they were doing – and what was likely to come – but at the moment, neither of them seemed to mind it one bit.

Button by button, Jack undid her shirt, her sweater already tossed aside as the female tiger made quick work of his clothing. She purred shamelessly as his lips traveled over her exposed chest, his hands massaging her sides and working their way to her back in order to undo her bra. As soon as he pulled the item away from her body, she looked him in the eyes and smiled. "You do realize that once word of this gets out, we'll never hear the end of it."

"But it's worth it, right?" He asked.

She slowly nodded, and drew her tongue across his cheek.

…12:07 on this December 25th, and now it's time for another check on the weather, here's Rick O'Dell…

Well folks, I know many of your wishes for a white Christmas have come true… Our latest radar indicates that the blizzard that began late yesterday afternoon shows no sign of letting up until tomorrow morning at the earliest, making for a very messy commute for those of you on the roadways.

Speaking of the roads, Interstates 88 and 294 are now closed to traffic in both directions due to high snow drifts. More than 28 inches of snow has been reported to have fallen near O'Hare Airport, with anywhere from 18-25 inches in the city itself. Authorities are advising those in the watch and warning areas to stay indoors if possible.

It's gonna take several days at best to dig out once it stops, so curl up by the fire, sip your hot beverage, and cuddle with the one you love. Handing it back to Dave Koz, here's some slow Christmas music to snuggle up to…

I really can't stay - Get over that old out…Ah, but it's cold outside.

The announcer finished, and the jazz-infused strains of Silent Night began playing. Jack eased down and gathered the anxious tiger into his arms, holding her close to him, simply cherishing the feeling of having this woman whom he cared about here with him to keep him warm. He buried his face into her neck, inhaling the sweet fragrance of her fur as she breathed in deeply, blushing brightly at their wonderfully intimate embrace.

"I really should get going…" She whispered.

"Can't you stay a while longer, baby?" He murmured, threading his fingers through her back.

A deep purr resonated in her throat. "Well…" She sighed deeply, taking in the deep closeness of their connection. "I really shouldn't." Angie turned her head slightly, and found her phone buzzing on the coffee table. She picked it up, ripped the battery out, and threw it to the carpeted floor beneath them…

"Alright."

She brought his head up, touching her lips to his and locking another kiss with him…and soon they lost themselves to the rest of that cold, snowy night.

Baby, it's cold outside.

End.