This is just a crazy story that my friend and I started on one rainy (or maybe it was sunny...) day and kinda worked on it in our free time.

Dislaimer: Some of it belongs to George Lucas and some to JK Rowling

"Stupefy!" Ginny yelled pointing her wand at the nearest masked Death Eater. She did not have time to see if her spell hit its mark as she twirled around sending another curse on a Death Eater that was approaching from behind. He was tall and muscular, with dark red hair that distinctly reminded Ginny of her own family, but she told herself that this was no time to be sentimental as the attacking Death Eater countered her spell with a Cruciatus making her jump to the side. She quickly shoot a Stupefy at him hoping he would not counter it, but before her spell reached its mark, the Death Eater fell backwards and Ginny could see a smiling Dean Thomas behind him right before her spell that was meant for the Death Eater hit him. Oh well, one less stalker, she thought before she run off to help Hermione who was fighting two Death Eaters at once.

She was just about to hex the taller of the two, female or so they seemed, Death Eaters next to Hermione when everything froze under some kind of curse. Ginny could only stare with her eyes wide opened as Voldemort and Harry were about to duel each other. Yet she was not afraid for her faith in The Chosen One was too strong- she knew that Harry would win.

"Harry Potter, I am your father." Voldemort bellowed before their duel began.

"Wait… What?" Harry, and probably everyone else in the room stared at the two with shock clearly visible in their eyes. 'Haha,' Ginny laughed bitterly in her head, 'Who would think that Voldie had a sense of humor? Especially Muggle humor'

"Harry, I said that I am your father." Voldemort snorted at Harry's confusion.

"What the hell, Tom?" The Boy Who Kept Not Dieing inquired with one eyebrow slightly raised, "My father was James Potter. You know the guy you killed right before you killed my mom and then yourself. That was really stupid by the way…"

"No, Harry. You see I have a thing for redheads." The Dark Lord replied looking over to Ginny with a smirk on his snake-like face, "And I think it does run in the family."

"What are you on, Voldie?" Harry asked, not changing his facial expression. He knew that Lord Voldemort was mentally impaired, but he had no idea that it was this bad.

"Gosh, boy are you deaf or something? I am your fucking father. Gee." Voldemort seemed to be annoyed by his son's rejection.

"So if you are my father, you wanted to kill your own son?" Harry had no idea what led Voldemort to this sort of a conclusion, but he decided that might as well play along for the time being.

"Let me explain from the beginning, shall we?" he asked conjuring two comfy looking armchairs and sitting down.

"Ok." Harry decided to listen at least to buy some time and rest.

"See, I liked your mother ever since I met her in Hogsmeade once by an accident. She was an incredibly hot witch." Voldie said and seemed to space out with a dreamy look on his face.

"Ahem." Harry coughed, bringing his 'father' back to reality.

"Right." Voldie snapped back, "So I asked her three times to go out with me, but she defied me Thrice…"

"It's like the prophecy about us!" Harry exclaimed.

"Good job…" Voldie said sardonically, "Took you a while. Anyways, the fourth time she said yes, and we had this kind of fling for a few months. And no Bella, I was not a virgin." The Dark Lord smirked at Bellatrix who was giving him a very dirty look at the moment.

"What?" Harry was having a hard time catching on, "You and Bella? But I thought she was with the guy she married…"

"Gosh, she cheated alright?" Voldie said, seemingly annoyed now, "I was bored. Sorry, got side-tracked again. Where were we?"

"You were fucking around with my mother." Harry replied in a bored voice, "Wait, you bastard, you fucked around with my mother." He tried to attack Voldemort who lazily countered the jinx.

"Yeah, you just said that. Now stop the wand play and listen."

"Fine, I can just kill you later."

"Yup." Voldemort smiled, "So at one point we had a fight and she ran to her best friend, James Potter. A month after they got married. She told me she never loved me and that the baby was his as well."

"And?"

"Well, I went into a killing rage and killed everything around me, and then I tracked down your step father…"

"So what makes you think you are my real father?"

"Your mother left me a letter that I found only couple days ago with one of my precious, um, horcruxes." Voldemort threw a small piece of paper at Harry who caught and skimmed through it.

"I believe your Mudblood friend wants you to read it out loud, son." Voldemort said with an untouched expression on his snake-like face.

"How would you know?" Harry raised his eyebrows looking back at Hermione.

"Well, I am very good at Legillimacy. Unlike you."

"Oh, right." Harry nodded before reading the note out loud:

Dear Tom (or Voldie-Boldie),

I cannot lie you anymore… I never loved James as more than a friend and occasional fuck buddy, but now that we are expecting a child… I simply had to tell you. Remember all the times we spent together? Well, I don't know how to put this… you are going to be a father! I know it might be hard to believe, but our son is going to continue your hard work of conquering the world some day. You probably think that I am lieing and that I do love Potter, but that's impossible. The baby to be born is ours, and ours only and I will divorce Potter as soon as possible.

With all the love I posses

Lily and the Baby

"So you are sure that I am your son?" Harry asked in a casual tone.

"Yea, I mean it's kind of cool that I have a kid, ya know?" Voldie smiled giving Harry a hearty hug.

"Oh… father…" Harry started crying hugging the evil wizard back.

"I know, Harry, I know." Voldie joined his descendent patting his back while the Order, Ministry and Death Eaters stared at them.

"Will you rule world with me, Harry?" Voldemort asked breaking the silence.

"Of course, father." Harry laughed back as Voldemort kissed his forehead.

"Good."

"This is so Star Wars…"

"I know…"

"You watch Star Wars?"

"Um, a little."

"What's your favorite episode?"

"Attack of the Clones, yours?"

"Mine too! Didn't you think that those light-saber affects were sweet?"

"Hell yeah, but we are off topic again."

"Right. So did mom like not mind the whole taking-over-the-world business? And can I have cool red eyes like yours?"

"Well, Lily knew I was very ambitious, and she never exactly minded when I mentioned that she would rule the world alongside with me." Voldemort replied, "But, but, red eyes are my trade mark!"

"I see… But I want red eyes, daddy!" Harry stamped his foot, glaring at Voldemort.

"You can rule England… or USA…"

"I WANT RED EYES!"

"…"

"NOW"

"Fine! Stop yelling." Voldemort said as Harry glared at him, "Let's apparate and then we will work out something." He took Harry's hand in his and they disappeared with a loud pop.

The frozen scene came back to life. The Order and the Death Eaters stared at each other in puzzlement, neither breaking the silence after this rather unexpected revelation about their leaders.

"Well, that was interesting." Cornelius Fudge was the first one to break the silence, as he sat up and straightened his hat.

"What do we do now?" a lazy voice said that sounded as if it belonged to Lucius Malfoy.

"Um, I think we should just all take a break and try to comprehend what just happened. We can fight later…" Ron suggested looking kind of shaken by the sudden chain of events.

"That's a great idea!" Hermione smiled at her fiancé and apparated out with a loud pop.

"Yeah, let's do that." The rest of the fighters agreed apparating or flooing out of Room of Requirements where the Final Battle was taking place.