The miner dug down deeper and deeper with his iron pickaxe. He had been down here for hours, finding nothing but lapis. He hasn't even found a cave in weeks.
"Oh my GAWD! When will I find something, for crying out loud! This is HOPELESS!" exclaimed Adam as he broke yet another block of lapis. He had three stacks at this point. "I thought the point of this world was to find different resources, not get stuck with nothing but FREAKING LAPIS!"
Just as he broke the last block of the lapis vein he was mining, he noticed something different: an ore of the most brilliant yellow. "What's this?! Something that isn't lapis?! Sure took long enough…" He mined the ore and searched his mind for what it was called.
"'Gold?' It isn't the least bit shiny or metallic looking!" thought Adam as he found the answer in his mind. "With that shade of yellow, it looks more like a piece of butter! I'll call it butter…" With that fresh in his mind, he decided to head back to his house.
When he returned home, he discovered that one of the most retarded, and by far most annoying, creatures in Minecraftia had spawned in the pond near his house.
"Hey! Hey, it's you! Hey! I'm over here! Look at me! Look at me over here! Hey! What's that yellow stuff you got there? What is it? Hey, I'm asking you a question! Hey! Look at me! Look at-"
"Oh my god, squid, shut up already!" Adam yelled before killing the squid with his iron sword to shut it up. Freaking squids…
Adam went into his house and began to experiment with the butter. He smelted it and decided to make a pickaxe with it too see if he could use it to replace his nearly broken iron one. He took the butter pickaxe and tested it on a stone block.
"HOLY COW! THAT'S INSANE!" exclaimed Adam as the stone broke in less than a second. "I think I just found my new pickaxe!" Then he looked at it. Breaking one block had done some damage. It was still in fair condition, but far from mint. "Well, if it mines like THAT, I think I can live with replacing it often enough!"
"Finally! Someone gets it!" exclaimed Notch as he appeared beside Adam, who started in response to his sudden appearance. "Adam, you're the first person to appreciate this fine ore. I respect you greatly for that. You have made me very pleased. Is there something I can do for you as thanks for appreciating my work?"
"Holy cow! NOTCH?! You want to do something for ME?!" asked a very surprised Adam.
"Yes. I can do anything for you. I can give you full stacks of diamond blocks. I can give you a pack of a hundred tamed wolves. I can give you a horse that will be easy to tame. I can make you a god. I can give you full diamond armor with all the best enchantments. I can give you Dinnerbone nametags to use. Anything."
"That whole 'god' thing sounds pretty cool…"
"Done. As a god, you will need a new name. You will also need something to be the god of. Got any ideas?"
Adam thought for a moment. "How about 'Sky: God of Ore' because of the irony."
"Just for the irony, huh? Alrighty then!" With that, Notch vanished, leaving Sky bathed in light.
"Woah! I feel so POWERFUL! I feel like I could do ANYTHING! First things first, I'll need more butter if I'm to see these ores I'm the god of!"
This is the first tale you will hear
Of the leaders you hold dear.
The god of iron, coal, and stone
Sits upon his butter throne.
Minecraftians, heed the call.
Journey to the butter hall.
But do not go! I've more to tell
Of the child born in Hell.
The god of chaos, death, and fire
Has a son with an Empire.