Pirates and Pratfalls

"You are now standing in front of a magnificent castle covered with thick, thorny vines. This is the castle where your Princess Nami sleeps, and only after the curse of a hundred years end or the kiss from her true love can awaken her and break the Pirate King's spell. Or you can continue your quest to defeat the Pirate King. What do you choose?" Chopper squeaked before cackling with excitement.

"I dunno, Luffy, those thorns look preeeetty scary!" Usopp quivered as he eyed the little black spot on the map, "You're powerful enough to take on the PK by yourself, I think."

Nami smacked Usopp upside the head, "Shut up, you're already dead! Luffy, wake me up before I strangle you!"

"But aren't you asleep?" he asked and cocked his head.

"Yeah Nami, you're asleep, so you can't do anything to Luffy!" Chopper piped up only to shrink under her death-glare.

"Ah-well, I'll wake up Nami! What do I do, Pirate King Chopper?"

Chopper jumped and said, "Oh! Well, for an admiral, to get through the first level of thorns, you have to roll under 30."

Luffy rolled the two twenty-sided dice and got a twenty-eight.

"Yosh!" Luffy chuckled, "I cut through the first level of thorns!"

"Go Luffy!" Usopp cheered.

"Ok, the second level of thorns are thicker and deadlier than before. Roll under 25, you get through but are poisoned. Roll under 20 and you get through not-poisoned."

"All riiight!" he cried out and threw the dice. Thirteen.

"YOOOOSH!" Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper all cheered. Even Nami grinned.

"Ok, to cut through the last level of the deadliest of deadly thorns you have to roll under fifteen!"

"Go Luffy!" Usopp cheered again.

"C'mon, Luffy!" Chopper giggled.

"You can do it!" Nami cheered also, fist clenched and ready to roll the dice after Luffy.

"Here-we-GOOO!" Luffy shouted as he threw the dice.

Sixteen.

"NOOOOOO!" they all shrieked.

"He just gets poisoned, right Chopper?" demanded Nami, her hands twitching, "He can still save me right?"

"Well, uh…let's see," Chopper croaked as he searched through the Pirate King's manual. All three leaned in when the reindeer finally stopped at a page and announced, "Oh look, there's a quote here, 'And from time to time many Kings' sons came and tried to force their way through the hedge; but it was impossible for them to do so, for the thorns held fast together like strong hands, and the young men were caught by them, and not being able to get free, there died a lamentable death.' Sadly, this…uh…admiral, has suffered the same fate."

"What does that mean?" Luffy asked, cocking his head to the side again.

Nami groaned, "It means you're dead, Luffy."

"And I still am the Pirate King! Yahoo! I won!" Chopper danced with the Pirate King Manual, "I'm the Pirate King! I'm the Pirate King! I'm gonna go tell Zoro and Robin and everybody!" he announced before dancing out of the dining room.

Usopp chased after him, "Wait for me, Chopper! I want to tell them how magnificent I was before you doooo…"

Nami sighed, "I guess we'll have to clean up the game then."

"But I'm hungry…" Luffy moaned, "Cutting through all those thorns made me hungry!"

Nami tossed some gamepieces into the box, "Yeah, well you don't get anything because you didn't cut through all the thorns to save me."

"If I was really there, I would have cut through all of them!" he tossed the rest of the game pieces in the box.

"I don't doubt that. But what would you have done when you got into the castle? I'm under a sleeping curse, remember? And you weren't a mage."

"I think Chopper said you either had to wait a hundred years or your true love had to kiss you. So I'd bring you to town and have everyone kiss you until you woke up!"

Nami's face flushed into a beet red, and a well-worn vein at the top of her forehead throbbed, "That's disgusting."

"It's the only way to wake you up, isn't it?"

"It's…but…I…"

He wouldn't understand, not at all if he came up with that! she thought.

"I'm a princess, damn it! I can't just be kissed by anybody!"

Nami scrunched up the game map into a tiny ball before hurling it into the game box.

"I dunno why you're getting so mad. It's just a game," said Luffy, nodding at his own logic.

Suddenly, the door swung open and the rest of the crew crowded inside to play the game.

"Is it true that I get the chance to kiss Nami-swan? " Sanji sang.

"No, because I'm going outside to take a break," Nami sighed before storming outside.

"Ahhh!" whined Sanji, Franky, Brook, and Chopper.

"Never mind her, I'm going to play the Pirate King!" Usopp announced, then gasped when he saw the crushed map, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE MAP?"

"Is Nami all right?" Robin murmured to Luffy as the other nakama comforted Usopp over the desecration of his brand-new game map.

Luffy shrugged, "I guess she doesn't like losing."

****

AN: So yeah, I'm doing that 30 stories of One Piece thing on livejournal. I've claimed LuffyXNami, and just couldn't wait for a confirmation to write this!