In my heart the rain is falling

Drowning

In my heart the rain is falling
"Help me" it seems to be calling
Can you hear its plea?
Are you blind or can you see?
The rain falls with a steady beat
Falling steady with your deceit
It's thunderous roars reflect my pain
Our friendship will never be the same
It cries in the place of my eyes
Never heard, it sighs
In my heart, rain falls
Do you hear it's calls?
It cries "This isn't fair!"
The sky is nearly black, dark like your stares
Clouds drape my heart's sky
No room left for dreams to fly
Lightening pierces its wailing walls
Do you hear it's calls?
The thunder continues to roar
It's you it calls for
Do you hear me?
Do you see?
All the hurt because of your deceit

Max cheated on Casey for the last time! She finally had enough of that jerk and in all honesty I couldn't be happier. Even though she's been crying her gorgeous ocean eyes out for that piece of fucking cardboard, I've never been happier. Maybe now she'll see me as who I really am…the one guy she will never have to change for. I know her better than any of those other bastards and she'll always be perfect in my eyes.

Annoying at times? Sure. Stubborn? Absolutely. Gorgeous? Anyone with or without eyes could see that. Kind and smart? Without a doubt. She's literally the total package. So why did she change everything about herself to make him happy? I'll never understand.

But somehow that wasn't enough for him. He had the perfect girl and he lost her…maybe I should give him a thank you card? Ha! The world's dumbest asshole award would suit him better, though I have to admit I owe him something. After all, if he hadn't cheated with Amy, Casey wouldn't be crying on my shoulder at this moment and she wouldn't be in my arms.

Yes, even when the girl of my dreams is bawling her eyes out all over my favourite polo shirt…I couldn't be happier. I can't stand tears but for her I'd stand in a room with thousands of crying women if it meant I could be with her. (shudders) Okay maybe a room of ten crying women instead?

I hate being just her step brother. If Dad never married Nora, I would've never met Casey. However, if he never married her, then dating her daughter wouldn't have been an issue. Since they are married, it would be an issue and they would never approve of it, even if Casey felt a fraction of what I feel. Worst of all, Casey would need that approval before even taking a chance with me.

"Derek?" she sniffled as she raised her head.

"Yeah, Case?"

"Why are you doing this? Why are you being this nice to me? Not that I don't appreciate it, but I think I just ruined your shirt," she gave me a small smile and some of her old sparkle returned to her eyes. I could swear my heart skipped a beat. Yes, I admit it. I, Derek Michael Venturi, am a sap but, if you tell anyone I'll have to kick your ass to Antarctica. Capito?

"I guess that means you owe me a new shirt, then" I smirked a bit hoping she'd see that I was just joking.

"Der-rek!," she laughed. "You can be such a jerk sometimes"

"At least I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend," I replied before thinking. The sparkle in her eyes faded all too quickly.

"Shit, Case. I'm sorry that was uncalled for. I didn't mean to…," I muttered. How did I always screw things up? Oh yeah…I NEVER THINK! DAMN IT! ARGH!

"It's okay, Derek. For once your right," she whispered, looking down as she pulled away from me completely.

"Case, I'm sorry. That wasn't what I meant. I shouldn't have mentioned it. I…um," I stuttered making a fool of myself. The Derek Venturi does not stutter…so why am I stuttering now? God! Only she can make me do stupid things like this!

"It's okay, Derek. I'm going to bed, I'm really tired. It's been a long day."

"Case…," I was practically begging her to hear me out.

"We can talk tomorrow, alright?"

"Fine," I sighed knowing I wouldn't win this…argument? It seemed like a fight but the usual fire wasn't in there. She sounded as defeated as I felt. No winner in this fight, only a depressed girl and me, a hopelessly in love guy who keeps screwing shit up.

"Thank you," she whispered, still looking at the ground.

I walked over to where she stood, and did something neither of us had expected. I placed my hand under her chin and raise it so she looked at me rather than my "messy" floor and kissed her forehead. It was no more than a second, but in that second I almost felt like maybe, just maybe I still had a chance with her.

"I'm sorry, I said that," I whispered close to where my lips had just touched her smooth skin. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I was angry that Max did that to you. You can do so much better than that, Case". I stopped myself before I admitted anything and pulled away with my lips tingling from the light kiss.

"Go to sleep, okay? You look like you need it". Any other day she would have yelled at me. Calling me names like "skirt-chasing clad" or "chauvinist pig" but, today she nodded her head. I finally let go of her chin and she turned and walked to my bedroom door. With her hand on the doorknob, she looked over her shoulder and once again thanked me and left.

I sat on my bed staring at the wall that separated us wondering if she would forgive me and if she could ever love me. Just a few minutes ago, she was in my arms, sitting right on this bed and I was on top on the world. Now, I'm alone again wishing Ed had invented a time machine so I could erase those stupid words.