Doctor Who

'Bad Wolf Bay'

Author: Katherine Athena Gallant
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or any of the characters and storylines. This story is purely for entertainment purposes and is not meant to offend anyone.
Spoilers:Spoilers for Doomsday
Summary: "There are five of us now. Mom and Dad, Mickey and the baby." "You're not…?" A simple question with a not so simple answer.
Warning: Angst
Author's Note: AU ending to Doomsday!

Prologue

Rose came to a halt in the middle of the beach looking around for any signs of the TARDIS, for any signs of him. She couldn't have just imagined what she'd head. Try as she might, since coming here, she hadn't been able to recreate in her mind the way her name rolled off his tongue. And it had been his voice. She couldn't have imagined it that clearly. He had to be here somewhere.

Something appeared out of the corner of her eye, and she quickly turned towards it, hoping that it would be the TARDIS, or him standing there. And he was, but not in the way she'd thought. She ran towards him, but he still remained translucent.

"Where are you?" she questioned softly, almost fearing that her mind was seeing things.

"Inside the TARDIS," he replied, his voice sounding as though he were speaking through a long tunnel. "There's one tiny gap in the Universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection, I'm in orbit around a super nova," he chuckled slightly and the sound drew a small if sad grin from her. "I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."

It was those words that dashed the hopes she'd had in coming here. He wasn't coming for her. She wasn't going home. She was trapped here.

Rather then stay on that line of thought, she shook her head slightly and said, "You look like a ghost."

"Hold on…" He said, whipping out the sonic screwdriver and fiddling with it for a moment before pointing it in front of him, presumably at the console. His image suddenly became just as solid as she was and she moved to stand in front of him.

She watched him for a moment and then raised her hand towards him, "Can I touc-"

"I'm still just an image," he said regretfully, the words cutting into her as he spoke. "No touch."

Rose nodded her hand lowering. "Can't you come through properly?" her voice trembled, not knowing if she wanted the answer.

The Doctor wished he could, but he couldn't. "The whole thing would fracture. Two Universes would collapse."

"So?" she said, at this point almost not caring if it did. She wanted him with her, needed him, especially now that she knew…

The Doctor couldn't help but smile at her reply, knowing exactly how she felt. He'd thought about it – ripping through the void to get to her – but it wouldn't do any good. Too many people would die and he knew that Rose wouldn't want that.

Distracting himself, he glanced around at their bleak surroundings, seeing nothing much but fog and the wet sand on which they stood. "Where are we? Where did the gap come out?"

Rose realized what he was trying to do and decided to let him for the moment. "We're in Norway."

"Norway," The Doctor nodded as if this answer seemed to make sense, though she could tell that it didn't, "Right."

"About fifty miles out of Burgen. It's called 'Darlig Ulv Stranden'," she pronounced the words slowly, hoping she wasn't butchering them.

"Dalek?" he said surprised, his attention snapping back to her and a worried expression forming on his face.

"Darlig," she stressed, hoping to dissipate his worries. "It's Norwegian for 'bad'."

He knew that he should realize what she was getting at, but the point she was making still alluded him.

Rose sniffled. "This translates as 'Bad Wolf Bay'.

She laughed slightly and the Doctor chuckled, looking down at the ground for a moment as the irony of those words hit him. Even now, those words still haunted them.

Rose sobered quickly, gazing at him and soaking in his image. Everything from his wild brown hair that she loved to run her fingers through, to his brown eyes that she could get lost in for hours, to his hands that were strong and unmerciful when faced with an enemy but infinitely gently when they held her.

"How long have we got?" she said, her voice cracking over the thought of this actually ending.

"About two minutes…" he said softly, watching as more tears made their way down her lovely cheeks. It was too short, he knew. Not enough time for anything really. And the notion that there wasn't enough time seem odd to him. A Time Lord with not enough time, but the fact remained that this was all they had and they'd have to make due with it.

"I can't think of what to say!" She said after a moment, feeling everything just pressing down on her.

The Doctor seemed to notice this as his gaze shifted slightly to look behind her at the Jeep. "You've still got Mr. Mickey, then?" He said, looking at Jackie, Pete and Mickey. The thought of Rose back with the boy hurt him, but he didn't want her to spend the rest of her life alone.

Rose seemed to know where his thought we headed, because she said, "Not like that. I can't. Not with you…" she couldn't even complete the thought, but he understood her and the thought settled his heart some what.

Rose sniffled again, trying to focus. She had to tell him…now, before she ran out of time. "There's five of us now," she said, pushing some hair out of her face and taking a deep breath to try and calm her nerves enough to say this. "Mum, Dad, Mickey…and the baby."

The Doctor's hearts fluttered slightly at her words. "You're not…?" he couldn't complete the sentence. She couldn't mean what he thought she did.

Rose just stared at him for a moment and didn't say anything. Her silence coupled with the look in her eyes confirmed his suspicions.

"Oh, Rose," he whispered, raising a hand to stroke her cheek, but stopped just before his hand met her skin, remembering at the last second that as real as all this seemed, it wasn't. He was nothing more then an image to her and her to him. She was on this beach and he was still in the TARDIS. So close to her and yet so very far away.

Rose watched his hand as it hovered for a few moments above her face and then squeezed her eyes shut tightly against the tears as he dropped it back to his side. This wasn't fair. It shouldn't be like this. She should have been able to hold on. She should be with him now instead of standing here, wishing she were. What she wouldn't give to have his arms around her once more, to feel his double heart beat through his chest. She'd give anything.

"I'm so sorry," his voice cracked slightly as he thought of what she must be going through…what she was still going through. He knew what this was doing to him and how much he hurt, but it seemed so much worse now that he knew there was a child involved…his child.

Rose shook her head at his words, however. "Don't be," she said, tears still streaming down her face, though she made no effort to stop them. "At least this way, if I can't have you, I at least have something that's yours."

The Doctor wasn't sure what to say to this, so he just gave her a sad smile, which she returned. This wasn't how he'd planned things; wasn't what he had expected. He'd always known that he would have to give Rose up at some point, whether by choice or death. But he'd always thought, at least in the way of choice, that he'd be in control of that choice. He could have come to terms with this if it had been, if she'd stayed here originally instead of coming back to him. Instead of giving him the hope of her forever and now, because of that, the separation hurt that much worse.

And his child, god their child. He'd never know them now. Never see them born and watch them grow. And they'd never know him, never see him. He'd been through that once before and it hadn't bothered him, but with Rose…it was different with Rose. He didn't want her to have to do this alone. He wanted to be there, oh so much. But he couldn't.

Rose sniffled, drawing him out of his thoughts. "Will I ever see you again?"

And that was the question he'd hoped she wouldn't ask but knew she would. He knew what he should tell her; knew that he should say that they couldn't so that she could move on and let him go, even if he knew he couldn't. But things weren't that simple. Rose had made it much more complicated and then with the child…He couldn't tell her that it was impossible, though he knew the chances were slim. But there was a chance…a slim chance. It'd take him forever, maybe even the rest of his life, but as he'd been reminded so many times, the TARDIS was a time machine and so it wouldn't seem long to her…hopefully.

So he answered as honesty as he could. "I don't know."

Rose started at him for a moment, knowing he had more to say, and hoping against hope that it would be something that she could wait for. Something she could live for, because the thought of waking up tomorrow and him not being there, the thought of living through the rest of her life without him…she now understood him when he'd told her that someday she'd die and he'd be alone…oh so alone.

"I would say it was impossible, but we both know that impossible doesn't mean much coming from me these days," he grinned slightly at his words and she chuckled. "There is a chance, Rose, but it may take me awhile."

The seriousness of his voice in those words, the loneliness that they were drenched in told Rose that it would be longer then he would like. "How long?" She couldn't help but ask. She couldn't stand the thought of him being on his own. She remembered what he'd been like when she'd first met him, the old him, and she couldn't bare to see that pain in the brown eyes before her. It was glaring at her now and she wished there was something she could do to take it away.

"Forever," he whispered softly. "I might never figure it out, but you know I'll try. I'll never stop trying."

More tears fell and Rose pushed her hands up through her hair, trying to see him clearly through her murky vision. "Just promise me something."

He swallowed hard, hoping that his eyes didn't betray him and well with tears when he needed to be the strong one. "Anything."

She chuckled slightly at the clichéd line, noticing he was smiling sadly too, and then said, "Promise me that you won't be alone, that you'll find someone to travel with."

The Doctor opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off, "You need someone with you, even if it's just someone to watch your back, someone for you to talk to. Just please, do that for me."

The Doctor stared at her silently for a moment and then nodded, his throat too tight with emotion to say the words.

Rose surveyed him, feeling her heart shattering into tiny little pieces, her tears falling thick and fast. "I lo-" She choked over the words that she'd never said, wanting so desperately to tell him if this was her last chance. "I love you." She shuttered from the force of her words and then sobbed again. The Doctor gazed at her with such heart-rendering tenderness and devotion.

He couldn't even begin to tell her how those words made him feel, how hearing her say that soothed his soul a bit from the heart-ache of their situation. So instead he simply said, "Quite right, too."

Rose nodded, chuckling slightly and smiling at him through her tears. Leave it to him to make her words sound less then what they were, but she could tell by looking into his eyes that he'd taken them as she'd meant them and there was a lightness there now that hadn't been their moments ago.

"And I suppose…" he said softly gazing at her, "if it's my one last chance to say it…"

Rose held her breath then, watching him, waiting to hear words she never thought she would.

The Doctor swallowed, forcing himself to say these words, if only this once…for Rose. He gazed into her eyes, saw the tears and the anticipation there and said, "Rose Tyler…" and she disappeared and he was staring at the wall of the TARDIS.

His heart clutched painfully, hoping that his eyes were playing tricks on him and that she was still there, in front of him. But when he blinked the image of the wall remained.

Tears that he'd been able to hold back until now began to trickle down his cheeks. The pain that he'd known would come crashing down on him hit much harder and cut much deeper then he'd thought it would. He'd always known that he'd lose her, that this pain was what his future held; he just hadn't realized how much it would hurt.

He closed his eyes, just letting the tears fall and breathed the words that were still on the tip of his tongue… "I love you."