Bell Bottom Blues

Author: hell's lil angel13

Summary: Drake and Josh are in love, both with their girls and each other, and their parents are none too happy. It's tearing Drake apart that Josh won't spend time with him, so he takes matters into his own hands. Drake/Josh

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, as I am in no way affiliated with Dan Schneider or Derek and the Dominos, who own the song title

Warnings: Slash in the nerd and brother variety, swearing, some teenage angst, underage drinking

A/N: This is my first slash fic that isn't a oneshot! Be proud, I know I am! This is kinda an angsty yet fluffy story about parents' disproval of their children's love. Like Romeo and Juliet...or, Romeo and Romeo I guess. Set post-series in their senior year. Also, the song at the end called 'Hey Hey What Can I Do' belongs to Led Zeppelin, who is also not me.

Just So Josh Knows

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Know what I'm thinking about right now?

The messily folded piece of paper landed on Josh's desk, startling him. From the uneven edges and the messy scrawl on the inside, Josh knew who it was from and immediately felt a wave of half-anger and half-excitement wash over him. When he read what was on the page, however, all he felt suddenly was anger. As Mrs. Hayfer talked about the symbolism in The Scarlet Letter, he fished around his backpack for a pen.

That girl you made out with last night? Or did you fuck her, too? He wrote back bitterly and sent the paper flying behind his shoulder to the desk behind him where his stepbrother sat, half asleep.

Come on man, I said I was sorry about that. Josh could almost feel the desperation coming through Drake's words as he read them. But he was still angry and that made him overlook his other emotions for once.

You did fuck her, didn't you?

Josh didn't swear much. He hardly ever said anything worse than damn when he did swear, too. When Drake read the note he sent and realized that Josh not only swore twice, but the fact that it was an F-bomb both times told him just how pissed Joshie must be. And, once again, it was because of Drake that Josh was upset. But, Drake was happy that he could be honest here with Josh.

No, he wrote back, I didn't. Second base and that's it, I swear.

Okay.

Come on, Joshie, you're still mad at me. Please forgive me, she didn't mean anything, honest. Drake wished he could convey all his feelings and meaning in the note like he could in his music and guitar. He wanted to tell Josh that he was sorry and that he'd never even look at another girl, let alone sleep with one, because they were not what he wanted. He wanted Josh and only Josh. But, Drake was not who Josh wanted, why would he? Drake was a fuck-up, a right dirty bastard, and a man whore. No one would ever take Drake seriously and no one would want him long-term. Josh only put up with him because he had to as his roommate. But as soon as Josh left for college, he'd dump Drake and there would be no looking back.

And you think that makes it much better? You're using them Drake! Josh wrote back so angrily, he cut a hole in the paper. Drake knew he was upset now but he couldn't do anything about it while Mrs. Hayfer was still teaching them.

I'm using them only until you and I figure all this out. Josh quickly crossed out 'figure all this' so no one would know what they were talking about had the note fallen into the wrong hands, which had happened before. It was subtle this time, but he didn't want to take the risk either way.

That's not the point Drake. He felt like he was trying to explain calculus to a seven-year-old. You had to break things down to such tiny parts and it takes forever for them to get it. Even Josh didn't have enough patience for that. But Drake, while people always thought he pushed Josh's patience level to extremes, actually made Josh just a bit more patient.

Then what is the point Josh? Please tell me what's wrong!

I dunno if I should say it here. What if it falls into the wrong hands?

It won't, I'll keep it safe just like all the other ones. Now please tell me so I can fix it. I'm begging you, Joshie! Josh knew it was a lie that Drake kept all their notes safe. True, he kept most of them safe in a shoebox under his bed that had all his mementos and gifts, and things that reminded him of Josh, but there were some slip-ups.

Josh was actually the reason Drake kept the shoebox. Senior year was over in just over a week and Drake knew that meant that Josh would be leaving for college in the fall. He had already applied to what seemed to Drake like hundreds and got accepted into almost all of them. Many of them are hundreds or even thousands of miles away. And Josh was actually considering them! Like Fordham School of Law or Columbia, in fuckin New York City! So, Drake started making a box for all the memories he and Josh would share together before Josh leaves to start his own life without Drake.

Josh sighed and started to write his explanation. I just feel like you're using these girls because you're confused. You're using them so you can feel like a man or something. Sometimes I just wonder if you're just using me, too and some day you're gonna get tired of me and kick me to the curb like all the other faceless girls in your life. How do I know I'm not just some little experiment to you?

What??? Josh, do you really think I would do that? I could never do that to you! You're my brother, my best friend, everything I do, while you may not think so, has you in mind somehow.

Josh almost visibly jumped at this. He didn't know if he could believe that, but something told him it was true. He started to think about all the things Drake had done and realized that he should have known that a long time ago. Whenever Drake got concert tickets, he always made sure to get one for Josh, too. He would always show Josh his gifts first like his autographed Beatles album or the CD Paul McCartney signed for him when he went to his show and actually cried at.

But still, he didn't know if it would always be this way between them and it scared him. You say that now, but what about later? Things can change Drake and other guys can come into your life. He heard Drake sigh when he tossed it back over, then laugh quietly. Josh couldn't keep the smile off his face whenever he saw Drake smile or laugh, or just saw Drake in general.

Guys? I'm not gay Josh, guys won't be the problem.

I know that, but you're not straight either.

Drake wished he could write the truth down on the paper, but even that was too risky. If someone saw it, they'd both be ruined and he couldn't say it to Josh, even. He'd never said this to anyone before, except maybe once or twice to a family member, but even that was rare. He was afraid that Josh wouldn't react well and he couldn't deal with that. So he lied and wrote, Sure I am. I love girls and only girls. He wished he didn't have to say that and could say what he really felt. But that just wasn't going to happen.

Everyone knows that dude. And that right there was why Josh couldn't handle breaking up with Mindy. He needed some sort of escape when his feelings became too much and he just couldn't take it anymore. It would never happen, and he came to accept that, no matter how much it hurt.

They both knew what they were up against. When the student body found out about Craig and Eric the year before, the nerds were never able to live it down. Everyone was ragging on them and calling them horrible names and picking on them even worse than before, when they were nerds and not gay nerds. Josh, and therefore Drake, stayed by the two, but Craig and Eric were wrecked. And that was just because they were gay. Drake and Josh? They were in a whole other ballpark.

Drake didn't write back to that. He put the note in his backpack pocket where he kept all his other notes from Josh before they went into the box. He was about to draw another picture of Mrs. Hayfer, this time being mauled by a giant chili pepper, when he saw Mindy toss a note onto Josh's desk.

Drake never hated anyone more than he hated Mindy Crenshaw. She was an evil, conniving little bitch, a different kind of evil than Megan and he couldn't stand it. At first he only hated her because she tried to get him suspended by framing him for pulling the prank on Mrs. Hayfer. But then she started to date Josh and he started to hate her even more.

Mindy was wedging herself between Drake and Josh and was slowly pushing herself closer to Josh and pushing Josh farther from Drake. Mindy was taking up all of Josh's time, the time he usually spent with Drake playing video games or just hanging out. Drake smiled when he remembered a time when Josh blew him off to study with Mindy at their place.

"Drake, Mindy is soaking wet and you're holding a hose! Explain!" Josh had yelled when Drake finally stopped laughing.

"She looked a little hot, so I thought she'd want me to help her cool down a bit," Drake said innocently, trying to make his eyes as big as they could. He could usually get Josh to melt if he got the look just right and Josh would be swept into his huge brown eyes.

"Drake," Josh said in his exasperated tone. Mindy stood next to him with a towel around her shoulders, glaring daggers at Drake. He just smiled back at her as if they were old friends. "Come on Drake, can't you just be nice to her? She's my girlfriend and I happen to like her!"

"Well, I can't like her!" Drake yelled back, the two of them completely forgetting that Mindy was standing right there.

"What do you mean you can't? Why can't you?" Josh yelled back angrily.

Drake turned to Mindy and instead yelled in her face, "Because you're breaking up the band, Yoko!"

Drake liked to think of him and Josh as a sort of Beatles-esque persona. He could be John Lennon while Josh was more like a Paul McCartney type. Drake wasn't sure why they were those two, but that's just how he always thought of them. And there was Mindy, playing Yoko and totally messing with them and tearing them apart. He hated it with a burning passion. He wished he could see what she and Josh were talking about.

I love you! Mindy sent to Josh. It took him a moment to realize the handwriting was tiny, neat, and girly, not messy, chicken-scratched and a grammar disaster like Drake's. He almost wished it was Drake's.

Zomg, is Mindy Crenshaw passing notes instead of listening? *Gasp!* I'm shocked!

I can multitask, can't I? Josh smiled, but it was more forced than when he was smiling with Drake. He wished he didn't have to feel this way that Mindy could be the one he loves. She should be, she's awesome, but there was just something missing.

Haha, I suppose.

Do you want to hang out and do something this weekend?

I dunno about this weekend. This was coming up more and more lately. Mindy would ask him if he wanted to hang out and study or see a movie or go to a museum somewhere and Josh was always cancelling at the last minute. Mostly, Drake was the reason for the cancellations. Drake had a gig he needed Josh at, Drake and him got grounded again, it was Bad Movie Tuesday Night with Drake and he never broke that date—except when he was done, but that doesn't count—or Drake had already asked him to hang out. Josh hated how he never felt bad to be cancelling Mindy for Drake, but it just seemed that he had more fun with Drake than he did with Mindy.

Him and Drake, they were different. They had their inside jokes and their little jabs at one another that if others heard, they'd think the boys were really insulting each other. They had their play fights and their wrestling matches and their girly little slap fights. They had their prolonged touches and the secret glances at one another, complete with meaningful head twitches and eye blinking. He and Drake just had something he and Mindy could never come close to having, and Josh felt terrible that he didn't mind one bit.

You alright? What happened between you and Drake this time? Everybody knows. Drake and Josh could not keep their friendship a secret; not that that was what needed to be secret. Whenever Drake was sad, the first question was always what Josh was mad at him for; Josh was fuming and people ask what Drake did; the two of them were smiling and people just know that the two of them did something incredibly stupid.

What makes you think there's something between me and Drake? It was subtle, but still there. The question could be taken in many different ways, but Josh knew that Mindy would take it the way he wanted her to. Even Mindy would never know about him and Drake...since there was nothing between them anyway.

Because I know you. Now tell me, maybe I can help.

Josh decided not to lie to her. No, he was definitely not going to tell her the whole truth, but he couldn't lie to her, even on paper. It's nothing, really. Just an argument. No big deal. So, I'm sorry I can't see you this weekend.

It's alright. Are you sure everything's fine, though? She was much pushier than Drake. Drake would give up and believe Josh when he said he was fine. The only problem was when Drake asked him, Josh wanted him to keep prodding and pushing until Josh cracked.

Yeah, I'm sure. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. :-)

Mindy looked over at him and gave him a small smile. They nodded back to one another and Mindy went back to taking notes as Mrs. Hayfer spoke. Josh already knew most of what she was talking about and whatever he didn't know he could get the notes on from Craig or Eric. But, he had nothing else to do but take notes, so he started with a fresh piece of paper.

Drake had finished two pictures of Mrs. Hayfer: one of her being chased by a giant chili pepper and one of her getting sucked into a black hole by this time. He then noticed that Josh was taking notes again, so he was done talking to Crenshaw the Creature.

You know, you're one of those hippo things!

Josh looked confused as he fished Drake's next note out of his hood. Hippo things?

You know, the people who say something is wrong, but then they do it themselves?

Do you mean hypocrite? How am I a hypocrite? Josh made it look like he was casually stretching as he dropped the note on his brother's desk. Mrs. Hayfer was giving him, well Drake, a half-suspicious look, but Drake just sat there looking bored and uninterested as usual. Once she turned her back to them, the boys went back to their note-passing.

Mindy! You say I'm wrong for kissing girls, but there you are, kissing Mindy! Josh was crossing out Mindy's name when the wish to cross her out of his life came into his mind. He had no idea why that came then, but it took quite a few head twitches to make it go away.

Drake, she's my GIRLFRIEND, I'm supposed to kiss her. Your's are just sluts you use for a couple hours.

Still, I don't like seeing you with Mindy all the time.

Oh, but I just LOVE seeing you macking on every girl in San Diego! This is just how it has to be for now.

Drake bit his lip as he wrote. Is it always gonna be this way? Girls always coming between us, people always coming into our lives and making each other jealous?

I don't know. I wish I could say no, but I have a feeling the answer is yes.

Drake kicked at Josh's desk in front of him, earning a glare from both him and Mrs. Hayfer. He smiled sheepishly. He hadn't actually meant to kick Josh's desk, he was just annoyed. Sorry bout that. Dammit, I hate this Joshie! It really fuckin sucks.

I know bud, I know. I hate it, too. But what are we gonna do, huh? Drake didn't have an answer to that. He wished he could just say that he would stop dating girls, Josh would dump Mindy, they would tell their parents, and everyone would be okay. But Drake knew that was just not gonna happen any time soon. He shook his head sadly and put the note in his backpack, too.

Wanna tell you bout the guy I love,

My, he looks so fiiine

I wanna tell he's the only one that I've been dreamin of,

Maybe someday he will be all mine!

Drake wrote on his notes absentmindedly. He took down some of what Mrs. Hayfer was saying, only because he was very distracted and she was talking so damn loud. He didn't realize until after he wrote the first part that he had been quoting Dread Grepling lyrics.

I wanna tell him that I love him so,

That I thrill with his every touch

I need to tell him he's the only one I really looove.

Josh! Those were not exactly the lyrics; Drake noticed that he had changed the gender of the person the song was about and was shocked to realize he was writing about Josh. He needed to tell Josh that he loved him, that Josh was the only one he really loved. But just look at what happened to Randy Palm. His woman was a hooker. At least Josh wasn't 'ballin all day.' Or, at least Drake hoped he wasn't. No, Drake decided quickly, Josh wasn't like that. That was something Drake would do if he rolled that way, which he most certainly didn't, he was Drake Parker after all. But Josh Nichols would never do that, whether he was gay or not, he just wasn't that kinda guy.

The bell for the end of lunch period rang loud and Drake grudgingly got up, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and started for his pre-Calc class upstairs. He hadn't seen Josh since English that morning and he was suddenly craving a hug. He didn't get why he got these urges sometimes, they just came and he couldn't get over them until he had Josh's strong arms wrapped around him and making him feel warm and safe.

His phone vibrated him his pocket as he rounded another corner. One new message: Josh. He opened it and read, Hey, what class r u in?

Going 2 pre-Calc, ugh!

Within a few seconds, another message came in. Wanna ditch?

Drake swallowed his gum. U wanna ditch a class? What do u have, study hall?

Nope, History. You're a bad influence on me, Drake Parker. :-P

Haha. Meet me by my locker, 5 min. With that, Drake went back the way he came and made it to his locker, where Josh was coming from the other side of the hallway. Drake looked all around them and quickly pulled Josh down to him, grabbing his lips into a quick kiss. He smiled, Josh tasted so much different than that girl from yesterday. What was her name again? He couldn't remember, all he remembered was she tasted like cherry lip gloss and faintly minty. As he pushed Josh up against the lockers as silently as he could, he liked that Josh tasted like root beer and chocolate pudding so much better.