Summery : As a child…Naruto matter of factly just grew up too quickly. Lonely, he looked in pursuit of something which may give him all the attention he needed…pranks? Who needs that, the bathhouse!
Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto…
WARNING: Before starting to read this fic, I would like to say that this is rated M because of sexual comments or in any case, innuendos.
Chapter 1
"NARUTOOOO!!"
Many screams were heard from the lovely hot springs of Konoha as one boy was running away from a mass crowd of women still in their towels.
"Ahahaha, excuse me ladies, but are you sure you should still be running in clothing which can easily as drop off? Not that I would mind of course hehe…" Naruto grinned as he continued running away before a kunai landed right next to his foot.
"Touché! I guess it's getting a little dangerous with the dazzling and sexy kunoichis chasing after a lonely 12 year old kid." Naruto smiled as he suddenly vanished from their sights.
"Where did Naruto go?"
"That boy has been openly gazing at us ever since 4 years ago, it's like a tourist attraction now a days!"
"Not for us ladies, he's looking at us!"
"Curse, there's always next time I guess…"
All of the muttering left as the women finally decided to give up and walk back to the hot springs after traveling such a long way to capture the little rascal. After they were out of view, Naruto dropped his genjutsu as he walked away whistling without a care in the world.
"Heh, that was sure fun wasn't it. Hope they don't actually hire serious kunoichi to take me down. That would take all the fun out of it now haha…" Naruto laughed aloud as he walked back to the bathhouse.
"Oi, Matsu, do I get my pay for today for the entertainment?"
"Heh, for a bratty kid who started with nothing and now getting paid for peeping. What has the world come to haha." Matsu laughed at the bathhouse stand as he threw a bag of money in front of Naruto.
"Don't go wasting it all now boy. I know its hard since no one will give you any food or clothing for cheap."
"Don't worry about it, I have to post up the recent blog onto the newspaper on who's the hottest girl in Konoha." Naruto sighed as he walked out the door heading back to his apartment.
"Don't get yourself killed boy, though you've made quite a name for yourself being the sharpest critic for whose the sexiest woman in Konoha. That eye of yours is truly something, never misses a single detail. If anyone ever thought about it, they might think you had a bloodline. Someday though, you're going to get mobbed by females for doing what you do." Matsu said before Naruto was out of range to hear his voice.
"Hmmm…I know that I was forgetting about something today…" Naruto thought hard as he was walking back before shrugging it off.
"NARUTO!! DID YOU FORGET TODAY IS THE GENIN SELECTION EXAM!" Iruka said grabbing Naruto by the ear and dragging him off.
"Crap…I totally forgot about that Iruka-sensei! Sorry about that, I was just soooooo busy about…well…doing what I do." Naruto grinned as he was being dragged.
"Hmph…some kid, getting a job just for peeking, lucky bastard…" Iruka muttered to himself wiping a bit of blood pouring out of his nose getting a bit of strange looks from the bystanders.
"Ewwwww Iruka-sensei, are you gay? You seem to be having dirty thoughts about me, or is it pedophilia?" Naruto said covering up his chest and his private parts.
"NARUTO! Enough! Were here already!" Iruka yelled as his face grew double its size with a shade of red unimaginable.
"You know…with a face that red, I'd almost believe it…" Naruto muttered to himself loud enough for Iruka to also hear.
"Hey!! It's Naruto, he's finally back!"
"Hey, who's the latest hotty dude?"
"Yea!! We all want to know which girl is considered the best looking of Konoha at the moment!"
"Well…You'll all find out when the latest issue on the newspaper comes out. I'm strictly a nonbiased critic haha." Naruto laughed aloud as he walked over next to Sasuke and sat down.
"Well, now that our fellow academy student has arrived, let's start with the exam." Iruka said as he started to call up named to go up to perform the basic jutsu.
"Pss…Naruto…"
"Hmmm?" Naruto looked to his left with a darkish grin as he looked at Sasuke. "What would Mr. High and Mighty want to talk to me for? Walking out of the closet eh?"
"Shhhh!! Damn…I hate asking you of all people for this…" Sasuke muttered to himself looking to left blushing before looking back at Naruto. This specific action was almost detrimental to all of the girls looking at them talking, especially that blush.
"Who do you think would be the best girl around our age to go out with? Also, could I get an opinion to whom would I be able to revive my clan the best with…" Sasuke managed to say with a heavy blush.
"Hehehe…Sasuke looking for a sex buddy? Never thought I'd see the day you would ask for girls and not a specific guy." Naruto darkly continued grinning as he say sweat bead out of Sasuke's head.
"Don't talk about him! Don't you dare damnit…now ANSWER ME!" Sasuke yelled before closing his mouth looking around getting stares from everyone around them.
"Alrighty then…There's quite a bit of girls out there our age. Mind narrowing the list down a bit for me?" Naruto asked getting to the point.
"Hmmmm…A kunoichi whose either a genin already or in our class…She can't be more than a year older than me." Sasuke said narrowing it down as much as possible.
"Ok…First up will be some of the fangirls who will most likely make it to genin. Starting up with our local braniac Sakura Haruno. Brilliant at using her mind if given an amount of time, she had little chakra to move around with, but will most likely succeed in genjutsus. She is also one of the more hardcore fangirls who is willing to do almost anything for you. She is recently on a diet to stay light and skinny, this also means that she will continue having a chest as flat as a washboard in the future. She has potential as a kunoichi maybe…but the body isn't something I would go for unless you want something exotic like her hair." Naruto said without having to stop to think.
"I don't think having a fangirl would be the best idea…" Sasuke said thinking. "Maybe you could move on to some genin, I would like a girl who is going to be accomplished and is most likely going to be stronger than most."
"Alright! Then let's move onto our friendly Chinese dressed girl Tenten. Currently, her breasts are still growing out and it's almost a B-cup already. In the future, I think they will stop at a good high B-cup. Her specialty is weapons and has a half crush on the last popular ninja Neji Hyuuga. Her body is quite fair-skinned for her age and the only thing that is preventing her from becoming extremely powerful is her adaptability. She also wants to become powerful from her obsession with the slug sage Tsunade, so she will have no qualms with training or eating."
"Hnnn…" Sasuke starting to think about it hard. "She seems to be a very good candidate from what your information says. She will most likely not hinder me from killing him if training does not turn her off…also her usage of weapons will be a great asset for training and many missions."
"Yes, there are quite a bit of other girls to go onto, but it looks like you're going to be called up with me right after. So make it quick, I want to publish my latest blog so I can get it over with." Naruto smirked as he placed his right hand out asking for money.
"Hmph…for good information…" Sasuke took out his wallet as he gave Naruto a thousand yen. "I hope that should suffice."
"For light information like this? It should surely suffice." Naruto grinned as he placed the money into his pocket in his bag of money he earned earlier.
"Naruto, come up here." Iruka said.
"Me already? Looks like the Uchiha got you to give him full marks by his "super HNNN"… look." Naruto laughed aloud as he looked at them. "So, what do you want me to do?"
"Mizuki, if you may start him off?" Iruka said as he looked at his list of how to grade.
"Alright Naruto, first produce a bunshin , then henge as well as a kawamiri." Mizuki said as he looked at Naruto carefully.
"Got it! HENGE!" Naruto yelled aloud smirking as cloud blasted into the room.
"Oh…Iruka baby…I think my breasts are feeling a little tingly, do you mind rubbing them to make sure they don't have cancer? Please be my first…I'm afraid that if I do, I won't be able to have a kid of my own. I want you specifically to penetrate me sexy…" A utterly drop dead gorgeous girl said as she popped out of nowhere. If details could explain what she looked like, I would sure describe it, but it was incapable of words.
"…Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss!!" Iruka yelled aloud giving a thumbs up as he flew out of his chair along with Mizuki by a huge gush of blood flying out of his nose. Suddenly...he felt something was wrong as he felt rough hands behind him which was holding him.
"Oh…Iruka-sensei, I never knew you felt this way about Mizuki-sensei. Getting such a blood rush just by looking at another man, I never knew you had it in you!" Naruto grinned as Iruka looked in front of him only to see Mizuki sensei with a dripping bloody nose as well.
"…Curse you Naruto! You pass…" Iruka and Mizuki said before passing out by blood loss.
Naruto just whistled to himself as he grabbed a headband wrapping it around forehead before walking out to greet his fellow classmates.
"Well, forgive me for saying, but I do believe that class is over as our sensei's have a serious case of blood loss. We will most likely have to come back tomorrow in order to find out who our sensei's are going to be." Naruto grinned as everyone started laughing imagining what Naruto did in order to cause such a case.
The next day…
"Alright you new genin, you know your teams now, so just wait here until they arrive to pick you up. Until then, I'm off…" Iruka said as Mizuki was missing for an odd reason.
"So I'm with Sakura and Sasuke hmm? Man…they must really hate me to put me with them. Why couldn't they put someone like Shikamaru? It at least would have sounded better with their names
instead of hearing Sakura, Sasuke, then the random N sound of Naruto." Naruto rambled on once Iruka was out of the room.
"Hn…" Sasuke said as he looked down at his desk thinking about what they were going to do since there was nothing in the first place.
"GOD I'M SO BORED!" Sakura suddenly screamed aloud only to notice everyone looking at her.
"I didn't see that coming…" Naruto muttered to Sasuke.
"Me neither…" Sasuke wide-eyed at her sudden burst of words.
"Hey you three…lets go up to the roof so we can talk."
"So…I'm kind of hungry, want to join me go eat ramen later?" Naruto asked.
"Hn…"
"I guess that's your way of saying yes."
"Hey guys…"
"CAN I COME ALONG SASUKE-KUN??" Sakura outburst destroying everyone's thought bubble.
"Alright, I guess you three are staying at the academy"
"Nani? Are you our sensei?" Naruto asked.
"Well, since you were ignoring me all this time, I guess not." He smiled before planning to walk out the door.
"Wait sensei! Let us have another chance!" Sakura pleaded looking at him.
"Alright, then lets meet at the rooftop then." The silver haired man then teleported away leaving only a swirl of leaves to drift to the floor.
"I'm not cleaning that up…" Naruto quickly said as he made a start for the roof followed by Sasuke leaving Sakura behind.
"What? I'm not cle-" Sakura was about to finish when she noticed she was the only one left and grumbled as she picked up each of the leaves.
At the rooftop…
"Ok kids, lets see, how about we start with some introductions here? Tell me your likes, dislikes, whatever else you feel I should know." the man with silver hair said.
"Hn…how about you start us off Sensei." Sasuke said giving him the eye.
"Ma…I forgot to introduce myself haven't I? I guess I should start with an example hmmm…My names Hatake Kakashi. I like a bunch of things, my dislikes are quite a few…and that's just about it." Kakashi smiled as he looked at Sakura who was still grumbling as she walked in. " Why don't we start with the one with the glaring hair?"
"My name's Uzumaki Naruto. I guess what makes me special is a bunch of things which should be on the newspaper. You do read it right Kakashi-sensei? I mean, you do love Itcha Itcha Paradise so you should love what I write too…" Naruto said as Kakashi's eye's widened.
"How did you…wait…Naruto…that sounds so familiar…AH! You write that wonderful blog." Kakashi said back to his normal personality. "I heard you were quite an interesting person. Alright…the guy looking down all the time."
"Uchiha Sasuke…I don't have too many things I like and too many things I dislike. I don't have too many hopes and dreams…but I do wish to kill a certain man…" Sasuke said going instantly into brooding mood.
"And you pink haired one? From what you heard, you should already know what's happening."
"I'm Haruno Sakura…I like…a certain dark haired boy. I dislike…certain articles…like…well… you know. I hope to make many babies the man I like…heehee…" Sakura blushed and darkly giggled and started to hug herself getting many stares.
"That was…interesting…Well, let's head on over to training ground 8 and we'll start up the actual genin exams. Oh…and don't eat breakfast now!" Kakashi grinned as he vanished away with leaves on the ground yet again.
"He should be like a national litterbug with all the things he leaves on the ground for everyone else to clean. How annoying…" Naruto muttered before jumping off the building to another building heading on home.
"Hn…" Sasuke just walked out the door heading wherever he felt like going.
"Hey…don't leave me here to pick this stuff up again…there's not even a trashcan!!" Sakura said to no one as more leaves blew in onto the roof.
OMAKE!! The Fake Continuation…Or IS IT?!
After walking out of the door…Sasuke decided today had been such a good day it was time to get intoxicated. Underage? PFFFFFTTT, he was the friggin uchiha prince of all badasses Sasuke who should be pitied because his brother killed his family.
As he walked into the bar he shoved the doors open as he shouted out…
"GET ME SOME BEER TO DRINK! PRINCE UCHIHA NEED HIS BEER TO FEEL HAPPY! ME WANT ME HAPPY PLACE!!"
"…Uchiha Sasuke? GET HIM!!"
Suddenly 5 men appeared suddenly behind him and latched onto him. One of them then stood in front of him as he started to scratch Sasuke's chin.
"Hey Sasuke…I didn't know you were into gay bars, but it's ok…we'll make you feel RIGHT at home sexy… Lets bring him back boys!!" the man yelled as screams were heard made by a little boy going into a big boy's bar.
Author's note: Well…that's the end of the first chapter…yes I was bored and I kinda wanted to try this thing out. Though, I do feel like going back to my crossovers. This fanfiction will be based more on the perverted section then the normal ones you get haha. Well…if those of you did not want to read such a thing, then do not read the next chapter. Also, if no one likes it by the time I reach 10000 words, then I guess I'll stop ahaha, because it's going to be fun when Naruto encounter's Haku.