In My Son's Eyes
By
Snivellus
A/N: I wrote this in third person, but the lyrics are a reflection of his mother, and the rest of the story is from his point of view.
"Can you believe Snape, setting an essay over the holidays?" Ron grumbled.
"I know, I swear he loves to ruin our lives every moment his got." Harry joined in.
"Honestly, it is only a one scroll essay on a topic we have all ready covered, it should take you an hour, IF you have been taking notes!" Hermione said as they cleared the last step up from the dungeons.
"I swear, no one likes him, I bet his own mother hated him!" Ron said still angry, not knowing that Professor Snape was directly behind him.
"10 points from Gryffindor for complaining about work, and another 10 points for blatant disrespect!" Severus barked.
Harry and his two friends scampered off into the Great Hall for lunch. Severus suddenly did not feel like eating, so he turned his back on the three and went back to his only sanctuary in the whole school, his office.
No one ever bothered him there, unless it was a student from his own house. Everyone feared him, and that is how he liked it. He did not get close with his students, nor did he ever want to.
As Severus sat at his desk, he thought about what Weasley said. 'The boy has no respect, none whatsoever!' He thought to himself.
He did not know his mother, nor the manner in which he grew up. It was no matter, he did not want them knowing, it was none of their bloody business.
He conjured up a half drunk bottle of merlot and poured himself a glass. He leaned back in his chair and recalled his 5th birthday.
In my son's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see He was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be In my son's eyes
"Severus, I have to go away for a while, I will be back, I promise!" A young woman with straight onyx hair said as she wiped the single tears that fell from his dark eyes.
"Mum, you said that last time, where are you going now? Why can't you take me with you? I hate it here, I hate Grandma's!" A very young Severus whined.
"Mummy has to go, I want to keep you safe. I will be back, I love you Severus, please know that I will always love you!' She yelled as she backed up, nearly tripping on the lawn.
"Wait! Mummy!!!! Mummy come back! Take me with you! I won't cry anymore, I can be very quiet!" Severus cried from the porch.
"Stop crying boy, she ain't coming back, now get inside and clean out the ice box!" Severus's grandmother hissed.
Severus did not see his mother for another three years. He had been sent to Knockturn alley to pick up some things for his grandmother. This had not been his first trip there, His grandmother; Hydra Black was no stranger to the dark arts. Her cryptic sayings, and wandering eyes, always bothered Severus, but knew well enough to keep quiet about it.
He took the list that his grandmother had written out, and stood in the doorway of the shop. He had turned his head and looked down to see where a little light that was shining in his eye. There, in an ally, his mother laid looking half dead. The light was coming from the locket that Severus gave her for her birthday.
In my son's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe In my son's eyes
"Severus? Is that you?" She replied weakly.
"Mum, what are you doing here?" He asked, not realizing he was trembling.
"I don't remember, I must have fallen asleep here last night. Severus, do you mind helping me?" She asked as she held out a hand. Severus pulled her up, and he looked in her eyes. He saw pain, beating upon beating.
"What has he been doing to you?" Severus said quickly as he helped her to a table at Fortesuques.
"Nothing, it is not your concern. Has your grandmother been treating you all right?" She asked as she stroked his cheek.
"All right? All right, mum, look at you, you are a mess, you left me, you just left me with her. She is horrible, I hate her!" He hissed quietly at the table.
"Severus, I am sorry I know you do not like her, but please believe me when I say I am doing it to keep you safe." Tears welling up in her eyes.
"Mum, leave the bastard! Leave, get out before it is too late!" Severus said, when all of a sudden they were interrupted.
"There you are, you whore!" A tall lank man yelled, who would be later be known as Voldermort.
"Master, I am sorry, I was just trying to collect what you required." She said quickly.
"Who is this? Why is this child with you?" He hissed grabbing Severus by the arm, making fresh bruises where his fingers dug into his skin.
"He is my son, please, just let him go! I will do your bidding, anything." She cried.
"Ah so the bastard son is finally here. You say you will do anything?" Tom questioned.
"Yes, anything." She said defeated.
"No Mum, come home, take me home. I need you." Severus begged as Tom lifted his tiny mother over the railing of the restaurant.
"Your boy, has quite a mouth, have you taught him no respect? No? Let me teach him!" Tom took his hand and with one quick blow knocked him to the ground.
"DON'T TOUCH HIM, PLEASE!" She screamed .
Before Severus could open his eyes, he found himself on an open field with no one in sight besides his mother and the vicious man.
"Well boy, now shall I teach your mother a lesson?" He started to undress her.
"No, please! I will do anything, just let her go, please!" He cried. Severus quickly got out his wand (which he had gotten 4 years early) and said the first dark piece of magic that came to his mind.
Tom was impressed that a boy of only eight could accomplish this feat. He marked him worthy, and made a proposition.
"All right boy, I will let your mother go, if you swear your allegiance to me right here, right now." Tom said still holding on tightly to his mother.
"I do!' Severus yelled.
"NO! I am not worth it! Please, just go. I am sorry I couldn't be the mother you wanted, now just leave!" She sobbed.
"Give me your arm, boy. What is your name?" Tom asked.
"Severus! Let her go!" He said growing more furious.
"I will let her go, when I am done." He said.
Tom took his wand and pressed it to Severus's left forearm. Severus doubled over in pain. This was nothing like he had ever experienced, the pain was so clear, burning into the back of his mind.
Severus laid there for a moment, after he had finished, staring in pain at his arm.
"You made a promise! You must let her go." Severus said getting to his feet.
"I am afraid she has seen too much, she must be punished." Tom said as he pointed his wand at Severus's mother.
"CRUCIO!" Tom yelled. Severus ran to his mother, watching her shriek out in pain and weakness.
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Severus cried. A few moments later, Tom had vanished, leaving Severus beside his mother.
"Mum, why? Why?" Severus sobbed into his mother's side.
"Severus, I had no choice, it was the life that I was brought up in, I never wanted you to be a part of it. That is why I left." She said weakly.
"Mum, we have to get help, I don't know how to get a mediwitch out here!" He cried.
"Leave me Severus, I am not worth it. I am sorry I could never be the mother you deserved."
And when he wraps his hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer I realize what life is all about
"You are my mother, there is nothing that could ever change that. I love you no matter what."
"I do not deserve your love." She said coughing, and closing her eyes for extended periods.
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light It's in my son's eyes
"Mum, please, don't leave me! I need you."
"Severus, my son, you are strong. Promise me one thing, before I leave you for the last time."
"Don't talk like that. It will be okay, you will be okay." Severus said wiping his wet face on his sleeve.
"Do not follow him, do just enough to keep yourself alive. Do you hear me? He is not any better or stronger than you. You are a smart boy. Do not let him get you. I love you Severus, nothing you will ever do will ever keep me from loving you, no matter where I am." She said closing her eyes for the last time.
In my son's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though he'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy he made me
For I'll be there In my son's eyes
"Mum? MUM!!!" Severus cried.
He wiped his eyes for the last time.
Severus thought that he must have laid there for hours, rocking her body back and forth. Trying to wipe away all the pain. It never worked. He still carried the burden.
Albus had said that he would be freed from this burden one day, but he was wrong. It did not matter whether the Dark Lord lived or died, he would still never have his mother back.
Severus stared at the empty glass that now set on his desk. He looked closely at his reflection, looking carefully at his eyes. They were his mother's eyes. He still carried her with him wherever he went.
Mr. Weasley was wrong, he did have a mother, and he bared a mark that showed his love. His mother died trying to protect him, and now she lived within him, helping him to go on, just one more day looking through her eyes.
By
Snivellus
A/N: I wrote this in third person, but the lyrics are a reflection of his mother, and the rest of the story is from his point of view.
"Can you believe Snape, setting an essay over the holidays?" Ron grumbled.
"I know, I swear he loves to ruin our lives every moment his got." Harry joined in.
"Honestly, it is only a one scroll essay on a topic we have all ready covered, it should take you an hour, IF you have been taking notes!" Hermione said as they cleared the last step up from the dungeons.
"I swear, no one likes him, I bet his own mother hated him!" Ron said still angry, not knowing that Professor Snape was directly behind him.
"10 points from Gryffindor for complaining about work, and another 10 points for blatant disrespect!" Severus barked.
Harry and his two friends scampered off into the Great Hall for lunch. Severus suddenly did not feel like eating, so he turned his back on the three and went back to his only sanctuary in the whole school, his office.
No one ever bothered him there, unless it was a student from his own house. Everyone feared him, and that is how he liked it. He did not get close with his students, nor did he ever want to.
As Severus sat at his desk, he thought about what Weasley said. 'The boy has no respect, none whatsoever!' He thought to himself.
He did not know his mother, nor the manner in which he grew up. It was no matter, he did not want them knowing, it was none of their bloody business.
He conjured up a half drunk bottle of merlot and poured himself a glass. He leaned back in his chair and recalled his 5th birthday.
In my son's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see He was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be In my son's eyes
"Severus, I have to go away for a while, I will be back, I promise!" A young woman with straight onyx hair said as she wiped the single tears that fell from his dark eyes.
"Mum, you said that last time, where are you going now? Why can't you take me with you? I hate it here, I hate Grandma's!" A very young Severus whined.
"Mummy has to go, I want to keep you safe. I will be back, I love you Severus, please know that I will always love you!' She yelled as she backed up, nearly tripping on the lawn.
"Wait! Mummy!!!! Mummy come back! Take me with you! I won't cry anymore, I can be very quiet!" Severus cried from the porch.
"Stop crying boy, she ain't coming back, now get inside and clean out the ice box!" Severus's grandmother hissed.
Severus did not see his mother for another three years. He had been sent to Knockturn alley to pick up some things for his grandmother. This had not been his first trip there, His grandmother; Hydra Black was no stranger to the dark arts. Her cryptic sayings, and wandering eyes, always bothered Severus, but knew well enough to keep quiet about it.
He took the list that his grandmother had written out, and stood in the doorway of the shop. He had turned his head and looked down to see where a little light that was shining in his eye. There, in an ally, his mother laid looking half dead. The light was coming from the locket that Severus gave her for her birthday.
In my son's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe In my son's eyes
"Severus? Is that you?" She replied weakly.
"Mum, what are you doing here?" He asked, not realizing he was trembling.
"I don't remember, I must have fallen asleep here last night. Severus, do you mind helping me?" She asked as she held out a hand. Severus pulled her up, and he looked in her eyes. He saw pain, beating upon beating.
"What has he been doing to you?" Severus said quickly as he helped her to a table at Fortesuques.
"Nothing, it is not your concern. Has your grandmother been treating you all right?" She asked as she stroked his cheek.
"All right? All right, mum, look at you, you are a mess, you left me, you just left me with her. She is horrible, I hate her!" He hissed quietly at the table.
"Severus, I am sorry I know you do not like her, but please believe me when I say I am doing it to keep you safe." Tears welling up in her eyes.
"Mum, leave the bastard! Leave, get out before it is too late!" Severus said, when all of a sudden they were interrupted.
"There you are, you whore!" A tall lank man yelled, who would be later be known as Voldermort.
"Master, I am sorry, I was just trying to collect what you required." She said quickly.
"Who is this? Why is this child with you?" He hissed grabbing Severus by the arm, making fresh bruises where his fingers dug into his skin.
"He is my son, please, just let him go! I will do your bidding, anything." She cried.
"Ah so the bastard son is finally here. You say you will do anything?" Tom questioned.
"Yes, anything." She said defeated.
"No Mum, come home, take me home. I need you." Severus begged as Tom lifted his tiny mother over the railing of the restaurant.
"Your boy, has quite a mouth, have you taught him no respect? No? Let me teach him!" Tom took his hand and with one quick blow knocked him to the ground.
"DON'T TOUCH HIM, PLEASE!" She screamed .
Before Severus could open his eyes, he found himself on an open field with no one in sight besides his mother and the vicious man.
"Well boy, now shall I teach your mother a lesson?" He started to undress her.
"No, please! I will do anything, just let her go, please!" He cried. Severus quickly got out his wand (which he had gotten 4 years early) and said the first dark piece of magic that came to his mind.
Tom was impressed that a boy of only eight could accomplish this feat. He marked him worthy, and made a proposition.
"All right boy, I will let your mother go, if you swear your allegiance to me right here, right now." Tom said still holding on tightly to his mother.
"I do!' Severus yelled.
"NO! I am not worth it! Please, just go. I am sorry I couldn't be the mother you wanted, now just leave!" She sobbed.
"Give me your arm, boy. What is your name?" Tom asked.
"Severus! Let her go!" He said growing more furious.
"I will let her go, when I am done." He said.
Tom took his wand and pressed it to Severus's left forearm. Severus doubled over in pain. This was nothing like he had ever experienced, the pain was so clear, burning into the back of his mind.
Severus laid there for a moment, after he had finished, staring in pain at his arm.
"You made a promise! You must let her go." Severus said getting to his feet.
"I am afraid she has seen too much, she must be punished." Tom said as he pointed his wand at Severus's mother.
"CRUCIO!" Tom yelled. Severus ran to his mother, watching her shriek out in pain and weakness.
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Severus cried. A few moments later, Tom had vanished, leaving Severus beside his mother.
"Mum, why? Why?" Severus sobbed into his mother's side.
"Severus, I had no choice, it was the life that I was brought up in, I never wanted you to be a part of it. That is why I left." She said weakly.
"Mum, we have to get help, I don't know how to get a mediwitch out here!" He cried.
"Leave me Severus, I am not worth it. I am sorry I could never be the mother you deserved."
And when he wraps his hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer I realize what life is all about
"You are my mother, there is nothing that could ever change that. I love you no matter what."
"I do not deserve your love." She said coughing, and closing her eyes for extended periods.
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light It's in my son's eyes
"Mum, please, don't leave me! I need you."
"Severus, my son, you are strong. Promise me one thing, before I leave you for the last time."
"Don't talk like that. It will be okay, you will be okay." Severus said wiping his wet face on his sleeve.
"Do not follow him, do just enough to keep yourself alive. Do you hear me? He is not any better or stronger than you. You are a smart boy. Do not let him get you. I love you Severus, nothing you will ever do will ever keep me from loving you, no matter where I am." She said closing her eyes for the last time.
In my son's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though he'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy he made me
For I'll be there In my son's eyes
"Mum? MUM!!!" Severus cried.
He wiped his eyes for the last time.
Severus thought that he must have laid there for hours, rocking her body back and forth. Trying to wipe away all the pain. It never worked. He still carried the burden.
Albus had said that he would be freed from this burden one day, but he was wrong. It did not matter whether the Dark Lord lived or died, he would still never have his mother back.
Severus stared at the empty glass that now set on his desk. He looked closely at his reflection, looking carefully at his eyes. They were his mother's eyes. He still carried her with him wherever he went.
Mr. Weasley was wrong, he did have a mother, and he bared a mark that showed his love. His mother died trying to protect him, and now she lived within him, helping him to go on, just one more day looking through her eyes.