A/N: Go easy on me; this is my very first fan fiction ever. I surprised myself when I wrote this because I really don't identify with Quinn or Finn, but when I started typing this is what came out. Please take note that there are strong religious overtones in this. I don't want to push any beliefs on anyone. I just felt that Quinn would naturally choose to go to the place she felt most comfortable. Hopefully you see what I mean as you read. Enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: The only thing I own is the laptop upon which I wrote this story.
Quinn and Finn made their way arm and arm out of the doors of William McKinley High School, determined to make everything right again. She walked with him to the locker room so he could get ready for a football weight training session. As they broke apart, she kissed him gently on his lips and told him she would see him at his, now her, house afterwards. He smiled down at her and kissed her again before walking into the locker room. Quinn made her way up the stadium bleachers and let her mind wonder over the events of the past week. She was completely overwhelmed and only knew one place to begin:
Puck is a jerk. Seriously, I cannot stand him. Why on this earth would he feel like its ok to toy with my fragile heart?!! Completely unfair, that's what it is, completely un-fricking fair. I took a chance on him and what did it get me…ugh! What did I do to deserve this? I know I haven't been perfect, but oh, how did I get myself into this? Stupid insecurities! None of this would have happened if it weren't for him.
It amazes me how I can go from popular and normal to knocked-up and, dare I say it…gleek-y in the space of a semester. I have no idea what possessed me to think it would be ok to go against everything I know. I've ruined everything! My relationship with my mom and daddy; I can't believe how disconnected I feel with Finn…I just need a hug. Someone I can tell everything to, but who do I have? Puck's a douche, Finn can't know what's going on, my mom's a drunk, and my dad can't even look at me when Finn and I go to church on Sundays. I feel so alone.
All I want is for someone to hold me and tell me I haven't messed it all up. Mrs. Shuester can't even have a conversation with me without talking up the latest preggers vita-pack at GNC which I can't even afford because honestly, who wants to hire and pregnant ex-Cheerio?
I should stop feeling sorry for myself. Why am I crying?!! Stupid hormones! Why can't you just go away? We can pretend like none of this happened. I've disappointed everyone, except Finn, but honestly how can I say that when I know what I'm doing to him. I wish I didn't have to tell him the truth, but after everything that happened this weekend…he told me the truth. He stood outside of the smelly first floor guy's restroom and told me that Man Hands tried to start something and he backed off. I know he wants her but he knew it would hurt me. Shouldn't this make me feel better? I feel like I'm betraying him. I'm no better than Mrs. Shuester.
I have got to tell Finn, that's all there is to it. Fess up. Get it out in the open. But what happens then? What if he can't see past it? I wish it didn't matter: that I could brush this off because I'm giving her up as soon as she's out of here. But it matters. It matters because I love Finn. Not just because I should, but because we've been through so much.
Where would I be without him? Homeless…God knows Daddy would still throw me out once he knew. Where would I go? I would go to church. I grew up in that church. People know me there, people who wouldn't judge me because I messed up. I need to go pray.
Quinn got up from the stadium bleachers, wiped her tear-streaked face, and walked the 4 and a half blocks from William McKinley High School to the Lima Church of Christ. She paused outside of the large wooden doors only a moment before pushing them open, the familiar creak a sound she could remember hearing every time her family went to Sunday and Wednesday services. It gave her comfort. She walked through the small foyer area and though the archway into the sanctuary where she had sat every single Sunday since the doctor's allowed her parents to bring their little bundle of God-given joy home from the hospital.
She walked down the aisle, touching each pew on her right, just like every other Sunday. She took comfort in the rituals she had performed before finally making her way to the pew she and Finn sat in last Sunday. That Sunday was the first time she had not sat in the far right side of the third pew from the front with her parents since she left Sunday school at age six. Instead the couple had sat in the fifth row from the front. She couldn't help but steal glances at her mom and dad while the preacher told them about their benevolent Savior. Sitting with Finn that day, holding his hand, made her feel safe and sad at the same time.
When she sat down in that fifth pew she felt those same emotions she had nearly a week before. She looked up to the pulpit at the cross hanging from the podium from which her pastor delivered the word of God each week. When she finally closed her eyes she could still see the image of the cross. This is what she prayed to. She prayed for forgiveness first, then for her parents, her baby, and Finn. She prayed for strength and courage and wisdom and kindness.
Silent tears rolled down her cheeks and onto her lap as she professed her deepest fears and gave them up to God. She finished her prayer, which was really more like a conversation, and sat with her hands hugging her growing belly. She brought one leg up under her and just breathed for the first time in what felt like ages.
She barely registered the familiar creak of the old wooden doors behind her, and in a few moments she could feel someone standing near her. Quinn slowly opened her eyes, blinked a few times to adjust to the light and looked up at the boy standing next to her. Finn gave her a lopsided grin and her stomach flipped. She smiled back at him because she realized he was exactly what she needed.
"Hi."
"Hey."
"What are you doing here," she asked, scooting over slightly so he could slide in next to her.
"Um, I've been coming here a lot since I told my mom about everything," he shrugged and sat down.
"How are you feeling? Is she doing ok," he placed his hand on her stomach.
Quinn took the opportunity that had presented itself and a deep breath and began, "Finn, there's something I need to tell you."
A/N: Thanks for sticking with me. I wanted to leave it like this because I don't want to speculate about how Finn will take the news. I would like to think he takes it in stride and stays with her even if the baby isn't his. Thank you!