All character belong to Stephanie Meyers I just play with them. All the chapters have a song that inspired the chapter. This chapter's song is " she must think I'm crazy " by thriving ivory. Thank you to my wonderful beta blue eyed ducky

Baby,

I don't know if this will reach you in time but I'm sorry I'm not there to give you a birthday kiss or celebrate your birthday. Happy birthday my beautiful angel, I can't believe I'll be with you in three weeks. I hope everything is okay at home. Mom tells me you FINALLY found a dress and I'm sure you'll look amazing in it. Don't let my mom and Alice stress you out over the wedding though, I know it will be perfect. I wish I could write more but we're being called out for patrols. I'll see you soon baby. I miss you so much. I love you with all my heart and soul.

Yours always,

Edward

Every time I got one of his letters it made me smile knowing that even when we're continents apart he was still thinking of the little things. Today was my eighteenth birthday and in three weeks I would be marrying my best friend. I met Edward three years ago when I moved to forks to live with my dad, Charlie. My parents divorced when I was little and I barely saw Charlie until Renee died in a car accident. I met Alice, Edward's sister at the beach my second day here. I didn't meet Edward until the first day of school. Him and his girlfriend, Tanya broke up a few days before the first day of school and he was outcast to our table for lunch.

~ Three years earlier ~

"So I'm thinking this weekend we can have a slumber party. I'll invite Rose and you can invite Jessica. "

"I'll think about it, Alice. I don't know how much homework I'll have." I didn't want to seem like a buzz kill but I didn't want to start a new school with bad grades. I happened to look up. When I did, I see a Greek god walking towards our table. I felt my breath catch in my throat when he sat down at our table.

"You won't believe what fucking Tanya did. The bitch got me exiled from our table. Everyone is acting like I have the plague. "

"You knew that would happen when you dumped her. Sorry Bella, this is my older brother Edward. "

He was gorgeous and nothing like Alice's twin Emmett. Emmett was tall and muscular where Edward was tall and lean.

Snapping out of my daze I gave a small wave in his direction, "Nice to meet you Edward".

He responded with the typical male chin nod and a slight smile. "You too, Bella"

I'd like to say it was love at first sight, but it wasn't. I was attracted to him but I was fourteen almost fifteen, not to mention I was his sister's best friend. We ate lunch together every day that week but he never talked to me. That Friday Alice had her slumber party. Rose did my hair while Alice did my make-up. Jessica just laid on the bed texting her boyfriend.

"So Bella, I saw Tyler checking you out the other day."

"Not interested Rose"

Alice jumped up all excited. "Oh! A group date!"

"I'm not interested in Tyler Crowley. He's more Lauren's type."

Rose stopped doing my hair to look at me. "Who is your type?"

"I don't know. I'm really not interested in dating right now." I know that was a lie.

I was interested, in Edward. I watched him all week at lunch. He gave off an asshole vibe but he wasn't. He was funny and smart and loved his family. I could see that he'd do anything for Alice and Emmett. I knew this was just a little girl crush and he would never feel that way about me though. Needing to get out of there before this line of questioning could continue I said the first thing I could think of.

"I'm going to get a drink."

I rushed out of the room before they could ask any more questions. I heard faint music coming from the patio but I ignored it figuring it was Emmett out back with his friends. When I got to the kitchen I realized it wasn't the radio but someone playing the guitar. I went to the back door, surprised to see Edward playing. It was the most amazing thing I had ever heard.

"That was amazing, Edward" I spoke. I felt bad instantly because I could tell the song was a something that he considered private.

"You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Oh I'm sorry. I was just getting a drink and heard it. Curiosity killed the cat right?"

"What?"

"Never mind, I'll just leave you alone ." I turned to walk back to the kitchen.

"Wait. Do you want to hang out tomorrow? "

"Sure. What time?"

"I'll call you."

As I walk away I feel hopeful. He noticed me. Edward noticed me.

EPOV (senior year)

I was up all night fighting myself over asking Bella out. I tried to tell myself it was just as friends but I knew better. She's a fucking sophomore for fuck sake. Seniors don't date sophomores. I stared at the phone for hours but in the end I didn't call her. I completely ignored her until she stopped me in the hall before English.

"What happened? I though you wanted to hang out? "She looked hurt.

"I'm sorry. I just think it's better if we aren't friends. "

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I saw that hurt look turned to anger.

"I call bullshit!"

"What?"

"It's bullshit! YOU ASKED ME to hang out with you and now you don't even want to be friends? You know what never mind. I don't know why I'm even wasting my time."

The hurt I saw in her eyes made me feel horrible. Her spark was gone. I extinguished her spark and created fire. I didn't like that fire.

All weekend I tried to tell myself forget it. She's just a girl. She's not really worth the drama. I felt like I was losing my mind over this. I wanted to travel the world and maybe one day, settle down with a girl and have a few kids. I wanted something pure and real in my life.

A few days later I fought with my dad over my choice not to apply to college. Whenever this happened my first instinct is to drive and clear my head but this time I found myself driving pass Bella's house. She was sitting on her porch with her nose in a book as usual. I find that incredibly adorable. In that moment I decide that I'm done fighting it. I drive home and write out a letter to Bella.

Bella,

I'm sure you don't want to hear anything I have to say right now but I need to apologize. The way I treated you was wrong. I planned on calling but I got scared. You're Alice's best friend and I just broke up with Tanya. I don't want you to feel like a rebound because you're not. You're special. I want to be friends but I don't trust myself with you. I'm sorry.

- Edward

I put the letter in her locker first thing in the morning hoping by lunch she'll forgive me. I got to our table before anyone else and made sure the seat next to me was free for Bella. A few minutes later our table was full of the usual people except Bella. I looked around the cafeteria for the petite brunette but came up empty. Alice and Bella were never separated at lunch so where could she be.

"Hey Alice, where's Bella?" I said trying to sound cool but failing miserably.

"I don't know. She's been acting weird all day. She won't even talk to me." My sister was hurt.

Shit what did I do? I try to think of where she could be. I decide to check the parking lot for her truck and am relieved to see it still here. As I turn to head inside a glimpse of chocolate brown catches my eye. Bella is sitting alone on a picnic table crying. I approach her slow.

"Bella, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

She turns her watery brown eyes towards me and what I see is like a knife to my heart. I hate that I'm the cause of this.

"Do you expect me to choose between you and Alice? Cause if you do, I'm sorry but it'll always be Alice. She's my best friend. I'll eventually get over my crush on you but I won't find another Alice."

"Bella I wasn't asking you to choose. It's just a complicated situation and I want to be with you but if it doesn't work out I hope and think we can be mature enough to be polite so you can still be friends with Alice."

"Why me, though Edward? You could have any girl you want."

"God Bella, you drive me crazy. You're so different from any other girl I've dated. You don't know how bad I want to try with you but I don't want to hurt you."

"Maybe I want you to hurt me."

"I could never purposely hurt you."

"You're hurting me by not letting us try."

"Fuck it."

Before I knew what I was doing my lips were on her lips. There was this undeniably pull between us and knew this was more than a crush. I pulled her body closer to me lifting her into my arms. Her hands wound up into my hair. All I could do was hold her and keep kissing her amazing lips.