Pixie Stix Mix
Summary: If you think I can summarize this fanfiction… your high on pixie stix, that's what. A monstrously late birthday fic for Crazy-Queen-of-Games-in-Secret. Enjoy this crack.
Huh, what time was it now? Freaking L-A-T-E! Gosh, Malik may be a phsyco murder, but even he knows it's a stupid thing to go out at almost eleven at night, just now buying dinner for himself, Bakura, Ryou, and Marik. Why he was picked, or rather forced, to retrieve the food, Malik would never know. But never the less, the tanned maniac was well furious as he was hungry.
Apparently, Ryou, the one who does most the shopping, forgot to buy groceries this week, and there was nothing much left to cook with but Mariks "Sweet and Sugary Eyeliner" by Pink. Whatever the hell that meant.
Huh.
Whoever invented the idea of the big-name brand grocery stores to close at ten was seriously going onto Malik murder list, writing it in big letters and circling it twice. It only deepened the Yami's blunt hatred. At least the gas station down town was open 24/7. It was at these times Malik wished he where American, and could lounge at a nice McDonalds or whatnot.
All the good stuff is in America anymore…
So it was, as the phsyco just exited the place with four bags of ramen in a plastic bag, which he felt a vibration run through his thigh. The man reached a hand into his front pocket, and saw that someone was calling him.
It was Bakura.
He nonchalantly accepted the call, and greeted the caller. "Hello-" "Malik! Where the bloody balloons have you been!" exclaimed the obviously furious bunny rabbit.
"Calm your stripes down, I bought the food and am on my way back to the apartment." Malik replied, being completely comfortable with how the other Yami was speaking to him.
"Well hurry! It's fucking happy hour here, and I can't control them!"
Well. That was odd. "What are you babbling about now?" the tanned man questioned, a tad bit confused. "Just, get home quickly! Ah! Bad Marik, very bad Marik!"
Suddenly, there was a bleeping noise, and the feminine animatronic voice saying "We're sorry, your call has been disconnected–" and with a furrow to his brow, Malik disconnected the voice that he wished he could put on his murder list.
But, sadly you can't really kill what was never living.
So without another irksome distraction, the man hopped onto his Hikari's motorcycle, which he gladly took without permission, and drove off into the night.
Well. It wasn't the romantic sunset scene, but it'll do.
Fangirls…
o.O.o
Malik could already hear the probable chaos inside the apartment from the hallway. Still, he kept his masking calm, for Bakura was most likely just throwing objects at things because of his poor appetite.
Soon enough, the man knocked on the door, as he always did, and waited for it to be opened.
It was like opening a package of Kool-Aid; a poof a sparkly powder exploded in the Yami's face, making his face cringe. He blinked open his lavender eyes, as saw the head of Bakura, in which was engulfed in a rainbow of sparkling powder.
"Well look what the Nyan Cat dragged in and pissed all over." The tanner of the two smirked. Bakura sharpened his eyes. "Shut your trap and help me!" he demanded, pulling Malik into the apartment.
And everywhere, from the window to the wall, was a wonderland of powder, a mix of blue, yellow, green, and pink flaked fluttered about the entire area. Malik looked impressed. "So… what happened?" Bakura's face was as red a Slifers skin. "Fucking pixie stix, that's what."
Then out of nowhere, came Ryou running in like a mad men screaming, "It's snowing! It's snowing!" the albino then fell into the sugar flakes, making the powder puff up like an explosion. "Let's make snow angels!"
Marik stared at the boy and then slowly turned his gaze back to Bakura. "Uh…your Hikari, is–" "I know, you don't have to remind me."
Malik decided not to further his question, and brought up a new one. "So, where's Marik and, why is our house covered in colored sugar?" The man before him irritably sighed. "Well for starters, I was grumbling about how there was nothing to eat, and so them two idiots went on a scavenger hunt to find something. And in the process of that, Marik found a mine full of pixie stix. I said it wasn't actual food, but they ate some, and apparently got high. That's all I know."
"Bakura!" shouted Marik, appearing from around the corner. "I'm bloody talking, you tart!" the said man responded, not bothering to look back. Marik continued anyway. "Take me to the carnival!" the white haired man sighed. "Marik, there is no carnival, so I can't take you to one." he said through gritted teeth. "Bull crap! I looked it up online and Google chrome says there is a carnival, so take me to it now!" "Marik, that's the TV for Ra's sake."
Malik soon found the two's argument to grow quite boring, and left them to their bickering for a solution. The spiky haired man rummaged through a nearby closet, and soon found what he was searching for; the Millennium Rod. He took the item and dusted it off a bit, and then waved it about in the air, saying "Bibbity, Bobbity, Boo."
In an instant, the room was cleared of the colorful powder, all except the three other boys who were partly covered in flakes. The room was silent for a minute until Ryou steadily sat up from where he lay, and sweetly said, "But I was having fun…"
Marik angrily crossed his arms, seeing that his sugary snack was now gone, while Bakura sighed with relief. "You know I've never had this stuff before…" Malik stated, poking at Bakura's flaked coated face, taking a bit of the crystals onto his finger. He gladly took a taste test.
The three others watched in horror and interest. A phsyco eating sugar? What could be worse!
"…You know, I don't see the appeal to this stuff."
A collective of sighs filled the air.
And with that, Ryou got his mind together and cooked the ramen for all of them, the four then sitting down to watch TV, enjoying their well-deserved dinner. "So what's this movie called again?" Malik asked, slurping the never ending noodles. "It." Bakura replied. "I don't like this one; it's too creepy." Ryou said with a shiver. His Yami laughed, "I don't like you; you're too girly."
The movie then was cut to commercials, the first one advertising a 24/7 carnival, opening tonight. "See!" Marik exclaimed, "I told you! I told you! Aw, can we go, pleeeeease! Pretty please with cotton candy on top?"
Malik sighed. "I wonder if we've got a tranquilizer gun in that closet."
OD: Ok, so this was my like, first every atempt at "comedy"... i know i failed, but i got a good laugh outta doing it. There where alot of inside jokes made here, but i think everyone can just enjoy how terrible this fic is. Either way, i had fun with it. I just made this up off the top of my head, and enjoyed doing it. I thought i wrote it ok. R&R to share what you think! Thanks.
Yu-Gi-Oh! is owned by Kazuki Takahashi.