Okay, this is for the craziest, most awesomest and loveliest chick I know. I am not talking about you Ray Ray. So don't grin.

Anyway kidding aside. I am so, so, soooo sorry that I am late in wishing you but I was really busy (with my stupid lame life).

Anyhooo HAPPY BELATED BDAY, R! I hope you had a great day. But in case you didn't... there's always a bunch of bladers to cheer you up. ;)

Now, for those who aren't Ray. This is a crackfic. I repeat a CRACKfic. It has Masamune, King, Gingka and Yu working together. What else did you expect?

Disclaimer: (If I had been earning money from this I would have A LOT of pocket money. ~sadly looks in my EMPTY purse~) I do not own any of the MFB characters or Ritsuka (Az23bv's OC). Just own my annoying laptop here whose caps lock key is giving me hell.

KIDNAPPED

It was chaos.

Utter and blatant chaos.

Masamune crouched down, a dramatically long scream of exasperation tumbling down his lips accompanied by the equally comical wrenching of his hair.

"What did you do?!"

"…I am sorry."

The raven-haired teen's head jerked violently to the right to throw an incensed glare at the redhead, who was looking sheepishly at the ruins of their ultimate surprise.

"You wrecked everything!"

"I said I am sorry. It was a mistake."

An incredulous look. "A mistake?"

"Yes."

"You just had to keep watch on her, Gingka."

"I know, but I-"

Holding a hand up to silence him, Masamune hissed. "Last I checked keeping watch over someone didn't include you tying them to a rock- no, wait, it wasn't a rock. It was a pebble! Tying them to a freakin' pebble and going for an hour long pee break!"

"It was not a pebble! It was a rock."

"It wasn't big, Gingkie." Yu needled, grinning brightly.

"It was," Gingka sputtered. "Big. It just wasn't-"

"Big enough?"

"A rock?" Zeo, who was leaning against the wall, watching the scene unfold at the end of the room, provided.

"It-"

"Then tell me, how in hell did she manage to break free from the unbreakable hold of that stupid ROCK and is now missing after giving you an adorning black eye, with her last seen appearance being her sprinting through the Bey-Park, a lovely round pebble tied around her ankle?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"Victim in sight," King spoke into walkie-talkie held in his hand, stealthily hiding himself in the bushy leaves of a tree.

The teen ruffled her silky ebony locks, looking around the park, features clouded with an uncanny skepticism, the rock still limply laying against her feet with a thin thread tying it to her ankle.

"Weird…" Ritsuka whispered slowly, still staring around her.

She was in Bey-Park, yes, the one and only Bey-Park.

Either this was one great illusion, or she had died and gone to heaven or… someone had been injecting marijuana into her grapes.

Slowly and carefully, she stroked a tree trunk. Hard and rough. The calloused and wrinkled skin of the lignin coat brushed against her skin. It felt real. Very real.

The mere thought caused a shudder to run down her spine.

Real…

Not a dream. Definitely not.

So that meant that he was Hagane… Gingka Hagane.

She just hit the greatest blader of all times with a chair in the face and then ran out, thinking he was a weirdo cosplaying a bit too good…

Crap.

Ah well… It was a long time coming.

"She's still in the park," Masamune said with a sigh of relief.

Gingka wiped his brow. "Oh, thank God."

"We need a plan and fast."

"Like what, Masamumu?" Yu tilted his head, a bucket of ice cream held in his hands.

Masamune and Gingka glanced at each other and the grin abruptly twisted their lips as they exclaimed in unison.

"Zeo!"

Slumping down against the trunk, she sighed. "Now, what?"

Maybe I should go back. Gingka would know how I got here. Yes, there was nothing wrong with conversing with Hagane after calling him a red potato. I know tomato would have been a better choice. It summed it all up, but who cares, right? I like the sound of red potato. And then there was also the part where the wooden seat connected with his face and I soon was running like my life depended on it, which at the moment seemed accurate.

Another frustrated sigh was heaved as an apple fell in front of her. She picked it up and vaguely thought of Newton.

With a soft chuckle, she threw the apple up in the air... once, twice, thrice─

"Ow! Whoa, whoa." Some rustling followed by a dull crunch of a branch breaking and a horrified scream. "AH!"

Her stormy grey eyes flicked up and before she even got a chance to scream─

THUD!

"You kidnapped a girl?"

"Yes."

"And kept her hidden in Madoka's basement?"

"Yes."

"Because you wanted to wish her a good birthday?"

"Yes!"

"Does Madoka know?" Zeo uncomfortably coughed while asking.

A nervous chuckle and a scratch of neck. "No."

"And she escaped?"

"Yes…"

"…Okay…"

"So, will you help us?"

"Uh…"

Two pairs of pleading orbs looked at him expectantly.

"Okay." Zeo nodded, immediately regretting it but there was no turning back. "What am I to do?"

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

King froze, his dark blue bangs falling in front of his eyes, with his mouth slightly agape. Ritsuka shoved him off her, glaring daggers at him, totally ready to kill.

"What do you even think- wait! King. You're-" A gasp of relief. "Hi, I uh... Could you help-"

But he was already up and running, shrieking madly into his walkie-talkie.

"Cover blown. I repeat cover blown! COVER BL- OW!"

Ritsuka blinked as she saw King collide directly into a pole and then collapse on the ground.

With her head cocked to the side, she complacently made her way towards the boy who was lying passed out on the ground and nudged his body gently with her foot.

He did not move.

'Great… Guess I would have to go to Hagane after all.'

"You want me to what?"

"We still want this to be a surprise. You need to distract her and bring her back."

"So you can tie her up back again?"

"Yes."

"You're awfully kinky, man."

"Shut up, Zeo. So, will you do it?"

"I don't think I can-"

"Zeo! You have to! You promised to help."

"But, Masamune. I can't- look at it." Zeo pointed at the costume in front of him, as if just the gesture explained everything from tangled politics to rocket science.

"Zeoooo!"

Expelling a grunt and few moan tinged grumbles, the redhead grabbed the clothing and stomped away.

"Things I do for a good chocolate cake."

"King's position has been compromised!" Gingka cried out, running hastily inside the room, where everybody was. "King's-"

Gingka hit a mass of pink and purple in front of him and then suddenly jolted back. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry, ma'am. I was- Masamune?"

"Masamune, he just called me 'Ma'am'!"

"That's the whole point!"

"Wait, wh-" A girly squeal of fright escaped Gingka as his hands frantically flew to cover his mouth and the golden brown orbs enlarged to huge buttons when he turned to look at the lady Masamune was talking to. "ZEO?!"

"Don't you say a word."

"What is- Why is…"

"We are sending him to talk to Ritsuka."

"What?!"

"Well, none of us can go and we need someone to bring her back," Masamune explained. "She clearly doesn't trust you." He said, pointing to the purple shiner rising on Gingka's cheek. "And I think she will react to all of us in a similar way. So, we need to send a girl, someone she can be comfortable around and does not recognise as… well, us."

Yu, who was looking at Zeo with an amusing glint in his eyes, asked. "Why can't we ask Madoka?"

Gingka turned to look at the blonde kid. Why was he even here?

Heaving an exasperated sigh, he said. "Because, she would recognise her and Madoka will kill us before we could even try."

The fog cleared up and King saw an amused face gaping at him, black hair curtaining feminine features with occasional streaks of neon green locks on the left. "Hey." She said.

He scrambled back and hurled himself up, trying to make himself scarce but soon found out that his feet were moving but the landscape around him was not changing.

Ritsuka held his shirt in a taut grip and tugged him backwards towards herself as he tried to move his feet more swiftly, desperately attempting to let himself free.

"Stop it. You're not going anywhere!"

He looked back a little hopelessly. "Uh… I am going to call the police. Yeah, I am!" With renewed fervor, he tried scuttling away but in vain. "Unhand me!"

She only smirked. "So you can sit in jail with me? Maybe Gingka can join us too, yeah?"

King decided to take the leap. "…who's…Gingka…?"

"Oh, you don't know who Gingka Hagane is?"

He gulped. "No."

It was then he noticed that she was holding a black device in her hand. Ritsuka lifted it to her lips, pressing a button and the freaked out voice of the redhead screeched through.

"King? King, you okay? She didn't get you, right?"

He paled. She only grinned.

"Hey, Hagane. Ritsuka here. Yes, King is perfectly fine other than the slight memory loss about who you are…"

"What?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?"

"Something obviously awful," Ritsuka said playfully as King gaped. "If you want your buddy happy and alive come to the ports at five."

"You can't threaten us!"

"Oh, yeah? Why is that?"

"Because we kidna- HEY!"

There was slight buzz and another voice chirped through.

"You don't go telling the hostage that we kidnapped her!"

"But we did kid-"

"Shhh, Gingka."

A meek voice slithered from behind. "Who has kidnapped King now."

"Yu, be quiet!"

"Hey, you're telling her our names!" Gingka gasped.

"I said shhh!" Masamune cleared his throat. "Um… Masamune Kadoya here. Yes, we agree to your condition. We will be there."

A click and the silence descended.

"We need to be prepared," Masamune pep-talked his team while pulling down the black mask to cover his face. "Don't be fooled by anything she says, stick to what we have decided and we will get King and Ritsuka."

"Okay, so once more, the plan is that Zeo will go through the warehouse-"

"Dressed like a girl," Masamune added to which Zeo groaned, "Selling cupcakes for a school project."

"Can't Yu do that?"

"No. You will do it, Zeo. And he will distract her and we will sneak in from the back and take King out and then Zeo will meet up with us in Bey-Park."

"What about kidnapping Ritsuka?"

"Uh… we'll then decide how to get her there, in the park. Sound good?"

"Yeah, I guess." Gingka said.

Boy, it was just creepy how things actually turned out.

The 'rock' was held tightly and threateningly in her grip, her arm wrapped around Zeo's neck as she glowered at the lads. "Take a step further and I will hit him with this rock!"

"Hah! See, she also thinks it's a rock."

"It's a pebble!"

"Rock."

"Pebble."

"Rock!"

"Pebble!"

"Shut up!" Zeo snarled watching Gingka and Masamune fight. "It's the same thing!"

Both the boys turned to look at Zeo. "It is not!"

"Yes, it was a rock."

"It was a FREAKIN' PEBBLE!"

"ROCK!"

"PEBBLE!"

"Oh God..." Ritsuka, who had let go of Zeo and was standing beside him, arms crossed as they both glared at the two rescuers-cum-kidnappers.

But Gingka was looking at something behind them, shocked.

"King, Yu, what are you doing?!"

The said companions looked up, face covered in cream and sprinkles.

"Eating the cupcakes?" Yu managed to speak with half a cupcake stuffed in his mouth.

"They weren't for you!" Gingka cried out.

King raised an eyebrow as Gingka snatched the box. "I think it's time for us to leave, Masamune."

Masamune sighed, "Come on, Ritsuka. You need to come with us."

He was met with an eyebrow cocked up. "And why is that?"

"Because, well, because it's your birthday."

Zeo mentally facepalmed as Gingka, King and Yu looked at them.

"Excuse me!?"

"Well, is it not?"

"It is. That doesn't mean you kidnap me, you sod!"

"But-" Masamune looked back at his partners in crime for some help. When they seemed to be as confused and blank as to come up with an answer as he was, he continued. "It was supposed to a surprise…"

A blink. "That you kidnapped me on my birthday?"

"No… that uh… that… kidnapping makes it better."

Another blink. "What?"

"It would be something you would never expect, yeah? So it would be a wonderful surprise." Masamune explained failingly. How did this idea ever come into his mind in the first place? And it did seem great then.

"…you thought kidnapping me and bringing me to a fictional world would make my birthday better?"

"…yes…"

A smile tugged on her lips as she looked at the bladers in front of her. Seriously, these guys were crazy.

CRASH!

One of the doors burst, splinters flying here and there as a redhead rushed inside, standing absurdly in front of the hole looking like an older version of Gingka Hagane.

"Ryo?" Ritsuka said almost disbelievingly.

"That's Immortal Phoenix for you, girl-who-my-son-is-working-to-kidnap."

Ritsuka blinked as the older male grabbed a rock from the ground and threw it at her. Instinctively she ducked and it hit Masamune in the head.

"Ouch! Damned pebble..."

Another 'pebble' was aimed then another and another until Ryo grabbed hold of the one tied to Ritsuka's ankle and jerked his hand back.

She fell and the thread broke.

Masamune groaned from under her. "Ouch…"

"S-sorry." She hurriedly got up, holding out a hand to help the raven-haired boy up.

But the wild Immortal Phoenix was let loose and was charging straight at them, bumping into them as they fell over once again.

"Gah!"

There was a crazed glint in Ryo's eyes as he lifted his hand and down came the pebble─

But Ritsuka had already pushed him off and the pebble slipped from his hands, hitting Masamune square in the head, who went limp before muttering in pain, "Guess it was a rock after all. "

Thank you for reading. (For the great people who read this I hope you liked it. Do drop in a review)

For Ray: It was Kyosuke. ~runs away with the speed of light~