Time after time

by Dean's4ever

Every morning Rick will slip out of your bed before anyone knows he been there. At first you were fine with no one knowing. But once you realize your feelings for Rick was love . You wanted more.

Every morning Rick slips from your bed before anyone knows he been there. At first you were fine with the arrangement .

But when you realize that you love him you want more than just nights with him.

You felt him slip from bed in the early morning hours. After finally falling into an exhausted sleep after making love for hours. You lay perfectly still so he didn't see you've were awake. You heard him slip on his clothes before you felt him lean over and give you one more kiss before leaving to go back to his cell.
When he was gone you roll over onto your back staring up at the ceiling. You do not understand why you were disappointed that he didn't stay this was how it always was since you and Rick started sleeping together.
He would sneak into your cell every couple night and make love with you and then sneak out in the early morning hours and go back to his cell. During the day, he would treat you like everyone else in the group. No one would ever suspect that you two were sleeping together.
You had been fine with that for a while, you were ok. But now it was getting harder to deny the fact that you're feeling for him were changing and you had fallen hard for him and wanted more than just a couple night with him no matter how incredible it was. You wanted more and you knew you would never get it

So you tried to fall back asleep for a couple hours but nothing was working so you finally decided to get up and head for breakfast. You walked into the main area where people were starting to filter in after waking up and before heading out to their jobs for the day. You were on watch duty after you eat. You took a bowl from Carol and headed to a table and sat down to begin to eat.
"Morning " you looked up as Rick sat down in front of you smiling " sleep well " he asked you tried hard to offer him your usual smile. But it didn't work
"Morning I slept ok" you said before going back to eating "What is wrong? "He asked and you sigh looking up at him " I don't think I can do this anymore " you said softly so he would only here.. His eyes widen and his mouth dropped
"But why " he was cut off when Beth came up holding Judith and he turn his attention them for a minute and you took that chance to stand up with your empty plate dropped it off to be washed and headed out to the Watch tower.
You were taking over for Daryl "go eat and sleep I have it from here " you said as you walked I " Thanks" he said picking up his crossbow he turn to leave but stop and look at you "Are you ok ?" he asked and you nodded "Just got a lot on my mind " you said. He nodded and didn't press but started down the ladder.
A couple hours later, your duty on Watch was taken over by Maggie and Glenn. You climbed down the latter with a plan to avoid Rick the rest of the day but that was blown up when he waited for you on the ground.
"Come take a walk with me I am on fence duty "he said and he grab your hand before you could say anything. " Rick I don't really feel like going for a walk" you said. "Too bad " he replied and marched you out towards the fence where you knew no one would hear your conversation. Apparently this was about to happen. You sigh.
He stops and lets you go and turned around to face you " so do you mind telling me what you meant this morning about you can't do this anymore.. You meant us right " he asked and you nodded. Frustrated and hating to have to say anything you ran a hand through your hair
" I can't do this. I cant handle you sneaking into my cell at night and leaving hours later I cant handle not being able to touch you when I want I cant handle acting like that I don't love you " you said
" I want more I want to wake up with you in the morning to make love to you before we have to get out of bed for the day.. I want you so much but I know that at this point you can't give me what I need. I understand this because of your kids and everything else. It is my fault that I let my feelings change " you said trying not to cry
you were not looking at him because you couldn't. "y/n ..I am so sorry " he said softly. " I know so am I " you said before walking off leaving him behind.

Three days you avoided Rick and try to put back together your broken heart. You got into a routine sleep eat work and sleep. Wanted to act normal around the group but you weren't sure that it working that well. Rick and Daryl had gone on a Run for supplies a day ago. Everyone waited for them to return.
Even though you knew you shouldn't be you still worried. So during dinner one evening you went outside and sat off to the side so you didn't have to make conversation. You sat there and leaned up against the building and just sat there for a minute enjoying the silence.
After a couple minutes you heard someone approached and you looked up and saw Carl coming over to you with Judith in his arms. He sat down "Aren't you suppose to be eating dinner?" you asked him reaching over tickling little Judith.
" I already ate " he said " you worried about your dad?" you asked he just nodded " he will be fine " you said "they should be back anytime " you said. He looked over at you
"How are you?" he asked " I am ok " you replied. " You sure you haven't been acting like it" he said. " I guess I have a lot on my mind" you said staring out into the darkness " like my dad " Carl replied causing you to snap your head around to stare at him.
You did not know what to say to that. But carl just smile and shook his head. "Come on you two really don't think I noticed what is going between you and dad " he said. Now you were really lost for words. " I could tell a difference in him he was much happier when he was with you.
" What happen " he asked. You sigh. "It complicated " You said " he has lots on his plate with you kids and running this place " I just think we are in two different points In our lives " we want to different things" you said. Carl sigh" I guess that is my fault " he said and you glanced over at him
"Why do you think that? "whatever happens between me and your father you are not responsible for " you told him
" what I mean is that I guess dad feels like it has to be all me and Judith in his life because of what happen to my mom for a long time after that I was mad at him for the way he treated her before she died but now looking back I realize that it wasn't just him it was mom too ." he said
"Adult problems can be complicated and you just wanted your family about again" you told him " I guess but that been a while and I want my dad to be happy and if you make him happy that is want I want." he said. You sigh.
. " I don't know Carl I am glad that you are fine with it but it is up to your dad and I just done know " Talk to him " Carl said "when he gets back " he adds. " I will try ", you promise " you said
Suddenly your conversation was cut short by the sound of a car honking twice. You and Carl stood up as you watched as the gates open and the car came speeding inside. As soon as it came to a stop Daryl was jumping out of the driver seat yelling for help and running to the other side of the car and started pulling an almost out Rick from the passenger seat

You gasp and started running towards them. "What happen" you asked as you reached them grabbing Rick from the other side to help Daryl get him out of the car.
"We ran into some trouble with a couple guys they pulled a knife out got a good shot at Rick before I could get to them. " Daryl said Hershel and Maggie came out.
" Get him into his cell "Hershel " Glenn who also came out took Rick from you so he and Daryl could get him back to his cell. " Is he going to be ok " Carl asked coming up beside you. " Yeah he will be just fine" you said hoping that you sounded convincing cause in the back of your mind you saw the blood and you were very worried.

Hershel and Maggie worked on Rick for a couple hours and all you could do was paced in front of his cell. Waiting for word that he was fine, and that you could see him. That all you needed was to ensure he was ok. Maggie came out after a while and saw you still waiting she gave you a small smile.
"He going to be ok but he will be out of it for a while so why don't you go get some rest " she said. " Can I at least see him" you asked " just a minute" you added and Maggie nodded and steps aside so you could come in. Your breath caught in your throat as you saw him laying so still I the bed.
Covers were pulled up to his waist bandages cover the left side of his chest and stomach he was breathing deeply in sleep. At least he was resting and not in pain. You leaned down and kissed him softly he stirs but didn't wake.
You stood up and turn around to find Maggie watching with a knowing smile on her face." I am Going to bed let me know if you need anything " you told her slipping past.

You walked back into your cell changed your clothes and flopped down on the bed on your stomach slipping an arm underneath your pillow and buried your face into it with a sigh. You went to sleep within minutes. You didn't know how long you had been sleeping but suddenly someone was shaking calling your name.
You groan and rolled over cracking open your eyes." what you asked Maggie who was leaning over you " hey Rick is awake and he wants to see you " she said. You sat up and was out of bed before following her back to Rick's cell it was still early morning so not many people were up.
Hershel was walking out when you came up "he is in a little bit of pain but will be fine he just wants to see you" he said. You nodded and entered the cell. He was laying there eyes closed and for a minute you thought he had fallen back to sleep, but when you sat down on the edge of the bed his eyes fluttered open.
" Hey " he said his voice horse and rough. " Hey there how are you feeling " you asked taking his hand in yours. He gave yours a squeezed. . " Well to be totally honest I feel like crap but at least I am not dead. " He said
" yeah you gave everyone a scare. " You said softly and even softer you added " you scared me " you said. He took his hand and reached up to gently brush up against your cheek. You leaned in toward his touch not breaking eye contact.
" I am so sorry " he said. You shook your head " as long as your ok " that is all that matters " you replied. " I will be ok if I knew what was going with us " he said. " I tried I really did to respect you wished and leave you alone" but I have missed you so damn much " he said wrapping his hand around the back of your neck and pull you down to press his lips against yours.
It was his words and the kiss that had you falling apart.. You moan into the kiss and pull back feeling tears welling up in your eyes " I have missed you too I have tried so hard to forget the way I feel with you but I cant " you said and put your hand over your face and let yourself cry.
The frustration was all coming out. Seeing you crying he tries to sit up but wince in pain. " No you to lay down " you said "I will be ok I am sorry " you said
" come here then " he said pulling on your arm. Getting the idea you crawled over him to get on the other side of the bed on his good side and curled up against him. His arm around you pulled you even closer. You buried your face in his neck enjoying being there in his arms.

After a few minutes of just laying enjoying the feeling of being in each other arms you finally spoke up "I am really sorry about everything" you said softly your head resting on his shoulder and tracing a pattern with your fingers on his chest.
" You were right, " he said with a sigh " but not about your feeling was the only one to change. You were not the only one to fall in love " he said. You titled you head to look up at him" I guess that I was just too afraid to tell you" or even admitted to myself. " He said he met your eyes
" I love you and that all that matter everything else can work itself out. " He said. You shifted bringing your lips forward to kiss him softly. He tried to deepen but you pulled back and with a giggle as you heard him groan
" none of that right now you still need to recover. " You told him laying your head back on his shoulder. You felt him sigh. You closed your eyes with a smile than the conversation with Carl pop up in your mind and you giggled.
" What he asked softly.. You shifted so, you could see him he turned his head to focus on you though sleepy eyes. You told him about the conversation with Carl and he groan closing his eyes.
" I always knew he was going to be smarter than me one day" he mummer. You laughed " well at least we know we have his approval ", you said knowing that deep down that was very important to him.
Instead of replying he kissed you again ending it with a sigh and closing his eyes. You lay your head back down and closed your eyes listening to his breathing slowly becoming slower and deeper
you smiled as you felt the moment he fell asleep. The arm that was around you holding you closer relax and his whole body seem to relax and then the snoring started and your smile got bigger as you snuggled closer to him you don't know why but you missed that sound it was comforting and it assure you he was there with you everything was going to work out.