"Dad , no stop , you-...!", I was cut off by a searing slap across my face and as I was trying to regain my balance , ignoring the fastly emerging tears Charlie's other hand roughly tugged at my button-up jacket . He was really pissed off now – I stopped putting up a fight a long time ago . My hands clawed at his calussed fingers clumsily , and he shoved us forcefully into the kitchen counter . My lower back exploded with pain , my knees going only momentarily weak – but that was all he needed to gain advantage – a moment . I was really letting it rip now , screaming my throat raw , eventhough I knew it was no use . Our closest neighbours lived over a mile down the lonely , winding road which was conveniently right smack in the middle of a dense , enigmatic forest . And tonight's mystery was a young girl's rape – or in short ; me . Rivulets of moisture wound their way down my face and snot bubbled out my sore nose everytime I exhaled .
Charlie forced me down on the frozen , tiled floor . I couldn't help but recoil , to Charlie's amusement . His strong , muscular chest was now crushing my narrow , fragile one and each breath felt like knives in my exhausted lungs . His chuckling was the background music to my pain , I hated him now more than ever and could almost feel my blood starting to simmer with fury . Fury and pain ...everything was mixed with pain now , for as long as I can remember it was my faithful companion , my saviour and my captor . It distracted me from the horror of what was currently happening and made it difficult to remember his other...infractions , because all those horrid memories were clouded with a thick fog of searing torturous pain , it was what lingered in my mind the most and therefore pushed out all the ...details out of my broken mind . And I was so greatful for it.
I could feel the hysteria rising in the pit of my stomach and as I trashed , kicked and fought with all the little strength I possessed I could already feel the shaking start . It began in my upper arms and radiated downwards , carrying every last bit of fear with it.
He grinned widely , showing off his perfectly straight teeth and accenting his large , wolf-like eyes. A mad-man in disguise.
Charlie's strong , meaty palms ripped off my lovely , pristine jacket all down the front and cast the scraps of material aside , exposing my dark woollen sweater and a patchwork-like expanse of soft flesh just above the wide neckline ; the originally rosey skin was alive , painted in yellows and greens – getting even darker as the bruises proceeded downwards towards my pert breasts . A testament of Charlie's weekly escapades .
I tried to shrug him off , trashing my whole body left to right in order to shake his 40-year old self off of me . It was no use . He had at least 80 pounds on me . I flailed my arms about , aiming for his eyes with my thumbs but he just chuckled menacingly and grabbed both of my chicken arms in the one of his , all the while groping my breasts with his other ; left hand .
I was full-out crying now , hiccupping and stuttering my way through this ordeal from hell . Both my legs were trapped underneath his and so I was left incapacitated and powerless as my own father took advantage of my body . I heard a rip and willed my heavy lids open only to apraise a large whole appear in my favourite sweater , a hole through which two snowy globes were visible . Already pink-tinted and swollen with the abuse they received form my attacker over my clothes .
As I caught the crazed twinkle in his wolven eyes I let my own lids fall shut.
A sharp slap across my right cheek shocked a jagged scream out of my pounding heart and my eyes fluttered open just to see Charlie's large head floating over mine . "tss-tss" , he admonished my apparent mis-behaviour . "You know the rules" , he whispered in a husky voice as both his hands traversed the distance from my hips and into my hair , sliding his hands over my flat tummy , bra-clad breasts and long , almost swan-like neck . His lips curled back over his teeth and with half-lidded eyes he skimmed the right side of my neck with his nose , inhaling deeply . He moaned deep in his throat and I suppressed the urge to scream and spit in his face . His finger trailed my lower lip , capturing it between hit thumb and forefinger , gently pinching until a droplet of blood emerged from the delicate flesh . He then proceeded to tenderly lick it off , his tongue darting out and capturing the tiny droplet of gore in a quick swipe-like gesture.
I squeezed my eyes shut again , grimacing from the sharpness of the pain and shuddering. This is always the worst part ; when he's gentle there is no pain to suppress the bad memories later...lucky for me it usually doesn't last long , but the anticipation of the snap is almost worse than the act itself ; I wish he'd just get it over with . But no , heaven forbid Charlie gets his rocks off quickly . He knows how torturous this is for me and well , he gets off on that too .
Slap "Aaahh" , I hissed and turned my head sideways to get tile-on-skin contact to dull the sting of the fatherly abuse . Slap "Open you fucking-" , and another one "eyes!" . I did as I was told and his expression stunned me into complete stillness as fear enveloped my heart and chilled the blood running in my veins. He looked murderous , and for the first time in all my life I actually felt genuinely scared for my life . His pupils were so dilated no chocoalte brown was visible at all . It's like his eyes suddenly became a window into his soul ; there was only blackness , an empty void .
"That's my sweet little girl" he crooned into my ear , his nose trailing abstract patterns under my ear – making me shiver in disgust .
Tears filled my eyes and spilled over the rims . A hollowness entered my heart , a hopeless fear and despair so strong it felt like absolutely nothing. Nothing- I was dead inside . Momentarily disensythized . As salty tears coated my flushed cheeks Charlie decided to take his fun further and his right arm started inching lower , and lower : over and under my ripped sweater , mauling and raping my sensitive buds into stiffness . I couldn't help but cry out , the delicate flesh was so sensitive – electrified with fear mixed in with the anticipation of pain . He seemed to enjoy my cries and pinched harder , more forcefully . I started trashing and shaking again – for gods sakes , I just couldn't help it ,he's gotten me broken . Cracked and destroyed for all to see. And so I cried , hiccupiing all the way .
His tongue darted out and slid over my delicate earlobe , capturing the dangling piece of flesh into his mough and gently tugging . I gritted my teeth and tried to drift away – fall into some other dimention , into a diferent world where pain and rape and fathers didn't exist , but when his left hand pressed into my lower back and ground my pelvis into his excitement I lost all control over my mind and consequently , over my mouth . "No, stop you fucking bastard!" , I yelled and screamed at his face which was still nestled into my neck "I'm your fucking daughter you sick prick ! Get your filthy claws off of me you fucking Dick!" . The outburst shocked him and I took full advantage , shoving him off of me and springing up on my feet , immediately jumping behind the kitchen counter and starting for the back kitchen door .I was breathing hard and fast , panicking . There was no time to lose. I had just grabbed hold of the door handle when two muscular arms grabbed my waist and slid lower so that his palms were fisted just over my crotch , groping and sliding back and forth with rough , jerky and increasingly painful movements . He momentarily took away one hand but increased the pressure on the other one and I was hard-pressed not to collapse with the jagged pain – if it weren't for Charlie's arm holding me up I would've surely collapsed. A blindingly painful rip at my scalp made the location of his other hand clear and his face reappeared an inch from mine – I couldn't see what expression he was wearing so close to me but his eyes looked like two storm-ridden pools of oil , don't ask me how that's possible , it just was. His brows so scrunched down his eyes were only dark slits . No words were needed , I knew what he was thinking : you're gonna regret it .
As my eyes shut again , unwilling to see as well as feel what was gonna happen next , Charlie's murderous mouth descended on my neck and he proceeded to suck on it so hard it felt like I was being mauled by a bear , his teeth made an appearence and I was so sure my neck was gonna burst open and that's how I'd die – from blood loss . With one last bite he jerked me around so that I was facing him and forced my eyes open so that I could see what he would do next .
I was absolutely shocked and paralysed with fear when I saw him unbucle his pants and slide the belt out – a fresh delivery of tears flooded my eyes . "No , oh God no , please no!" I screamed , my voice hoarse and broken – the lump in my throat tripling in size . "Anything but that!", bu he just grinned and took hold of my long brown locks again , seizing the zipper of my pants and ripping it clean off ; then pulling them down to my knees and treating my underwear in the same way . "No , dad , No! p-please! I'm sorry – so sorry! I-I'll never rebel again!" I testified "You should've thought of that before , my dearest Bella . Now you know I hate to do this , but naughty girls have to be punished . Now kneel down and strip – take it off , take everything off ." I complied , with snot running down and over my mouth and tears blinding my vision . "Lie down on your back!" , he instructed and kicked my knees from underneath me , holding the belt in both his hands in a menacing , prison guard like manner . I flinched as my naked flesh made conatct with the positively icy floor . A twinkle entered his eyes and he stood in front of me ,as excited as ever. He Chuckled one more time an started my punishment .
Slap , resonated the sound of the leather strip of my father's belt on my nether region and I convulsed in pain , unable to keep the shrieks inside . It just hurt so much . Like acid being poured , or rather thrown at a speed of 100mph on your most sensitive parts .
And again the belt whistled as it flew through the air and smacked me , and again I almost lost my mind through the pain . It continued for about ten minutes . Ten minutes of the worst blinding pain I've ever felt , ten minutes of begging and offering lewd things in return for salvation from the pain , ten minutes of insanity .
And for my father ; ten minutes of fun .
After my lashes were up my private area was a bulging , red swollen mess . My father was too experience in the arts of sadism in order to break the skin but already there were purple bruises springing up .
The last thing I remembered from that night was the coolness of the tiled floor , welcome in that moment of fiery pain,. And Charlie's voice as he kneeled down next to me after the ordeal with his manhood stiff and unconcealed in his pants-less state . I remember being bent over the kitchen counter and the sensation of intrusion .
But most importantly of all, I remember the feeling of dying but not being dead ; I remember the sensation of falling in a pit so deep there was no way out ; and then a pair of amber eyes , so deep they were like two identical pools of honey – invitingly warm and sweet , promising reprieve and peace appeared in my mind .
I don't know why he entered my trail of though , it's not something I spent time speculating on . All I know is that I'm glad he did , because something in that vision, the vision of him gave me the hope and courage I so desperately needed to break free of the bonds that chained me to Forks .
He was my epiphany .
Now I just need to figure out who the fuck he is.