:: Flying Bubbles ::
The soccer game was over as he sat there, underneath a tree in the park. The kids were going home, all dirty and soaked with mud, but happy and healthy.
"Mata ashita, Ken-niichan!!," they yelled at him, waving goodbye as they headed to their respective home. He waved back, and leant back to the tree. The sun was going west, preparing to end the journey of the day. The birds flew high above him, ending their adventure of the day, back to the safety and comfort of their nests.
He didn't feel the need to come home at the time. He felt just fine sitting there, holding a cold sport drink in his hands, letting the soft afternoon breeze blew softly at his face, at his hair. It seemed and felt just fine, sitting there under the big tree.
He took a gulp of his sport drink and stared at the reddish sky. What was the point of going home now anyway? He would only find more works to do, and worse, he'd only find Manx there with a mission on hand.
Great. Just great, Hidaka. What a time to start musing on your pathetic little life.
Distantly he heard squealing and laughters of little children and he looked up. And then he saw bubbles, flying. Stray bubbles flying towards him and he reached out, and the bubble popped as his hand touched it and dissipated into the air.
Two children, running, laughing, blowing on the liquid soap they were holding. And bubbles flew into the air, along with the sound of laughter and happy squeals.
So happy, so innocent, so carefree.
Ken smiled wistfully, sadly. And then the view suddenly blurred and he saw another surroundings.
A large backyard of a big house, green grass everywhere, flowers blossomed, big trees. and the endless sounds of laughter.
He saw it. The younger, the child version of himself, running on the wet, cold grass, splashing dropplets of water from the grass, laughing, running after a person in front of him.
And he saw slightly curly light brown hair tied in loose ponytails, bobbing up and down rithmically as the owner ran across the yard. His oneechan.
Running, giggling, teasing him to try to catch her, blowing on the liquid soap she was holding, and hundreds of bubbles flew into the air. And the bubbles would fly towards him, and he would momentarily forget his oneechan to stare at the bubbles, and would reach out, trying to pop the bubbles with his hand as much as possible.
Ken watched, remembering the scene of his childhood as he felt his heart being stabbed and the pain blossomed. Where had the time like that gone? Time when he felt nothing else but the endless happiness and warmth and love. Times when he would hear no cry, only cheerful sound of laughter. Times when he would see no grim face, only bright and cheerful faces. Times when everything looked so innocently, naively beautiful and perfect.
He remembered oneechan, oniichan, okaasan and otousan. He remembered the summer, and the beach, and the football field, and the park, and the flying bubbles. He remembered the valentine days, and the chocholate oneechan had given him, a cute heart-shaped one along with a card written 'I'll always love you forever, ototochan'. He remembered the winter, and the small frozen lake outside the city where he had learnt to skate, and the thick layer of snow, and the snowballs war, and the snow man, which oneechan had said would guard them from a snow monster, whatever it might be.
He remembered the Christmas and the endless gifts and the Thanksgiving and the delicious Turkey okaasan had expertly cooked. He remembered spring and the blossoming flowers and the nice smell of flowers in the house. And he remembered the autumn and the sweet potatoes he had baked with oniichan, and the fish cakes with thousand flavours.
He remembered so, so many things. His oneechan who had always taken him everywhere, who had been so proud of him, who had given him chocholate everytime Valentine's Day come, who had always made sure that he had lived properly when he had been so busy with his football world. His oniichan who had taught him how to play football and basketball, who had always defended him in a fight, who had spied on him when he had been on his first date, who had given him tips how to attract girls. His okaasan who had been very kind and gentle, who had always fussed over him whenever he had gotten into a fight, who had always cooked him his favorite meals whenever he had been sick, who had given her full support on whatever he had been doing. His otousan, his wise otousan, his source of advise, who had acted as his agent when he had jumped into the football world, who had always tried hard to please okaasan by cooking on every mother's day, who had always spent his time with the family on the holidays no matter how much work in hands.
He remembered all of that just with a single look at the flying bubbles. He smiled fondly at a memory when oneechan and oniichan both had given him liquid soap to make bubbles when he had been crying after injuring himself in a fight while he had been still under five years old. He remembered his oneechan and oniichan blushing because they had accidentally given him the same thing but thought he would be happy with the simple gifts and because the liquid soap had been the only thing they could afford because they hadn't had much money to buy him something he liked. And he had been so happy, really. The childish happiness at having two liquid soaps and thought he could make bigger bubbles than with just one liquid soap.
He smiled, and he felt like he was about to break into tears at the memories. His family, his loving family. His beloved family.
'I will always love you forever, ototochan.'
But would they still love him now? Would they still love him if they knew what he was now? Would they still love him if they knew that he had been lying to them all this times, pretending that he was dead while he actually was still alive?
He felt his gut tightened and felt a tear slipped down his blurry eyes. He looked at the flying bubbles, floating in the air, flying high, high.
Could he place his wish on the flying bubbles? Wish that his family would still love him, wish that he and Aya and Omi and Yohji would get a better life, and placed it on the flying bubbles that flew high, high into the sky, hoping that somehow the Power That Be up there would pick it up and eventually grant it?
He looked at the flying bubbles, floating in the air, going high, high, high. and eventually popped in the middle of the way, vanishing, dissipating into the air.
Gone.
Just like his wish, his hope for a better life.
He knew that there was no way back. Back to the warmth of his family, back to his previous life. he knew he was only going to make his family suffered. especially with what he was now.
So he leant back to the tree, holding the cold sport drink in his hands, as the last glory of the sun shining down on the world around him, watching wistfully at the flying bubbles that went high and high to the sky, listening to the cheerful sound of laughters and giggles that wafted in the air, hoping against hope, dreaming that he could go back to the time when he was still part of that world.
He heard a sound of footsteps approaching him. The sound he would recognize anywhere. The sound that reminded him that he belonged to the darkness that was devoid of all the innocence and cheery beauty.
The steps stopped beside him. "I know I will find you here," the person said with the deep voice of his. Then he noticed the tear on the brunette's cheek. "Ken. daijobu ka?"
He tore his gaze away from the flying bubbles and shut the laughter and giggles down as he stared back of a pair of concerned lavender eyes. "Iie. it's nothing, Aya."
"What is it, Ken?"
"No. it was just stray memories of my family. I guess I'm feeling too sentimental."
Aya wiped the trace of tear away from his cheek and stared intently at the younger boy. "It's okay, Ken."
"I remembered that oneechan once said that she would love me forever no matter what. I just wonder whether I still have the right to be loved or not. I've failed them. I've hurt them."
"It's not your fault, Ken. you can do nothing about that," Aya whispered, stroking Ken's cheek gently. "And if there any of us who still deserve to be loved, it is you, Ken"
Ken felt Aya's lips on him, kissing him softly, gently, comfortingly. Oh, how he loved him. He clutched Aya's shirt and kissed him back.
"Are you okay now?," Aya asked after their kiss broke.
"Yeah. you do know how to comfort someone, ne, Aya?," he smiled, taking a deep breath to regain his composure, and stole a kiss again.
"Only to you, Ken," he murmured between the kiss. "Oh, God, I can get addicted to this."
"What?"
"Kissing you. doing that stuff."
Ken smiled. "I already have, Aya. So, what brought you here?"
"Manx comes. Another mission's waiting".
"Oh. Okay," Ken huffed as he stood.
"You are up for this, Ken?"
"Ne, Aya, I'm not letting you go without me," he grinned.
"I bet so," Aya let out a small smile. "C'mon".
Ken nodded and walked beside him. He threw one last glance at the children and the flying bubbles.
It wasn't his world anymore. It seemed so out of his reach and he didn't dare to spoil it with his blood stained hand.
He knew he really have to start to forget, to let go. At least his family he loved so much was still in the beautiful world that was so out of his reach now and he knew he was happy with that.
But he knew that it wasn't so easy to let go either. Because he would be reminded by a lot of things. like the summer, the football field, the beach. the Christmas, the Valentine's Day. the blossoming of the flowers.
And the flying bubbles that flew high, high into the sky.
~Owari^^~
The soccer game was over as he sat there, underneath a tree in the park. The kids were going home, all dirty and soaked with mud, but happy and healthy.
"Mata ashita, Ken-niichan!!," they yelled at him, waving goodbye as they headed to their respective home. He waved back, and leant back to the tree. The sun was going west, preparing to end the journey of the day. The birds flew high above him, ending their adventure of the day, back to the safety and comfort of their nests.
He didn't feel the need to come home at the time. He felt just fine sitting there, holding a cold sport drink in his hands, letting the soft afternoon breeze blew softly at his face, at his hair. It seemed and felt just fine, sitting there under the big tree.
He took a gulp of his sport drink and stared at the reddish sky. What was the point of going home now anyway? He would only find more works to do, and worse, he'd only find Manx there with a mission on hand.
Great. Just great, Hidaka. What a time to start musing on your pathetic little life.
Distantly he heard squealing and laughters of little children and he looked up. And then he saw bubbles, flying. Stray bubbles flying towards him and he reached out, and the bubble popped as his hand touched it and dissipated into the air.
Two children, running, laughing, blowing on the liquid soap they were holding. And bubbles flew into the air, along with the sound of laughter and happy squeals.
So happy, so innocent, so carefree.
Ken smiled wistfully, sadly. And then the view suddenly blurred and he saw another surroundings.
A large backyard of a big house, green grass everywhere, flowers blossomed, big trees. and the endless sounds of laughter.
He saw it. The younger, the child version of himself, running on the wet, cold grass, splashing dropplets of water from the grass, laughing, running after a person in front of him.
And he saw slightly curly light brown hair tied in loose ponytails, bobbing up and down rithmically as the owner ran across the yard. His oneechan.
Running, giggling, teasing him to try to catch her, blowing on the liquid soap she was holding, and hundreds of bubbles flew into the air. And the bubbles would fly towards him, and he would momentarily forget his oneechan to stare at the bubbles, and would reach out, trying to pop the bubbles with his hand as much as possible.
Ken watched, remembering the scene of his childhood as he felt his heart being stabbed and the pain blossomed. Where had the time like that gone? Time when he felt nothing else but the endless happiness and warmth and love. Times when he would hear no cry, only cheerful sound of laughter. Times when he would see no grim face, only bright and cheerful faces. Times when everything looked so innocently, naively beautiful and perfect.
He remembered oneechan, oniichan, okaasan and otousan. He remembered the summer, and the beach, and the football field, and the park, and the flying bubbles. He remembered the valentine days, and the chocholate oneechan had given him, a cute heart-shaped one along with a card written 'I'll always love you forever, ototochan'. He remembered the winter, and the small frozen lake outside the city where he had learnt to skate, and the thick layer of snow, and the snowballs war, and the snow man, which oneechan had said would guard them from a snow monster, whatever it might be.
He remembered the Christmas and the endless gifts and the Thanksgiving and the delicious Turkey okaasan had expertly cooked. He remembered spring and the blossoming flowers and the nice smell of flowers in the house. And he remembered the autumn and the sweet potatoes he had baked with oniichan, and the fish cakes with thousand flavours.
He remembered so, so many things. His oneechan who had always taken him everywhere, who had been so proud of him, who had given him chocholate everytime Valentine's Day come, who had always made sure that he had lived properly when he had been so busy with his football world. His oniichan who had taught him how to play football and basketball, who had always defended him in a fight, who had spied on him when he had been on his first date, who had given him tips how to attract girls. His okaasan who had been very kind and gentle, who had always fussed over him whenever he had gotten into a fight, who had always cooked him his favorite meals whenever he had been sick, who had given her full support on whatever he had been doing. His otousan, his wise otousan, his source of advise, who had acted as his agent when he had jumped into the football world, who had always tried hard to please okaasan by cooking on every mother's day, who had always spent his time with the family on the holidays no matter how much work in hands.
He remembered all of that just with a single look at the flying bubbles. He smiled fondly at a memory when oneechan and oniichan both had given him liquid soap to make bubbles when he had been crying after injuring himself in a fight while he had been still under five years old. He remembered his oneechan and oniichan blushing because they had accidentally given him the same thing but thought he would be happy with the simple gifts and because the liquid soap had been the only thing they could afford because they hadn't had much money to buy him something he liked. And he had been so happy, really. The childish happiness at having two liquid soaps and thought he could make bigger bubbles than with just one liquid soap.
He smiled, and he felt like he was about to break into tears at the memories. His family, his loving family. His beloved family.
'I will always love you forever, ototochan.'
But would they still love him now? Would they still love him if they knew what he was now? Would they still love him if they knew that he had been lying to them all this times, pretending that he was dead while he actually was still alive?
He felt his gut tightened and felt a tear slipped down his blurry eyes. He looked at the flying bubbles, floating in the air, flying high, high.
Could he place his wish on the flying bubbles? Wish that his family would still love him, wish that he and Aya and Omi and Yohji would get a better life, and placed it on the flying bubbles that flew high, high into the sky, hoping that somehow the Power That Be up there would pick it up and eventually grant it?
He looked at the flying bubbles, floating in the air, going high, high, high. and eventually popped in the middle of the way, vanishing, dissipating into the air.
Gone.
Just like his wish, his hope for a better life.
He knew that there was no way back. Back to the warmth of his family, back to his previous life. he knew he was only going to make his family suffered. especially with what he was now.
So he leant back to the tree, holding the cold sport drink in his hands, as the last glory of the sun shining down on the world around him, watching wistfully at the flying bubbles that went high and high to the sky, listening to the cheerful sound of laughters and giggles that wafted in the air, hoping against hope, dreaming that he could go back to the time when he was still part of that world.
He heard a sound of footsteps approaching him. The sound he would recognize anywhere. The sound that reminded him that he belonged to the darkness that was devoid of all the innocence and cheery beauty.
The steps stopped beside him. "I know I will find you here," the person said with the deep voice of his. Then he noticed the tear on the brunette's cheek. "Ken. daijobu ka?"
He tore his gaze away from the flying bubbles and shut the laughter and giggles down as he stared back of a pair of concerned lavender eyes. "Iie. it's nothing, Aya."
"What is it, Ken?"
"No. it was just stray memories of my family. I guess I'm feeling too sentimental."
Aya wiped the trace of tear away from his cheek and stared intently at the younger boy. "It's okay, Ken."
"I remembered that oneechan once said that she would love me forever no matter what. I just wonder whether I still have the right to be loved or not. I've failed them. I've hurt them."
"It's not your fault, Ken. you can do nothing about that," Aya whispered, stroking Ken's cheek gently. "And if there any of us who still deserve to be loved, it is you, Ken"
Ken felt Aya's lips on him, kissing him softly, gently, comfortingly. Oh, how he loved him. He clutched Aya's shirt and kissed him back.
"Are you okay now?," Aya asked after their kiss broke.
"Yeah. you do know how to comfort someone, ne, Aya?," he smiled, taking a deep breath to regain his composure, and stole a kiss again.
"Only to you, Ken," he murmured between the kiss. "Oh, God, I can get addicted to this."
"What?"
"Kissing you. doing that stuff."
Ken smiled. "I already have, Aya. So, what brought you here?"
"Manx comes. Another mission's waiting".
"Oh. Okay," Ken huffed as he stood.
"You are up for this, Ken?"
"Ne, Aya, I'm not letting you go without me," he grinned.
"I bet so," Aya let out a small smile. "C'mon".
Ken nodded and walked beside him. He threw one last glance at the children and the flying bubbles.
It wasn't his world anymore. It seemed so out of his reach and he didn't dare to spoil it with his blood stained hand.
He knew he really have to start to forget, to let go. At least his family he loved so much was still in the beautiful world that was so out of his reach now and he knew he was happy with that.
But he knew that it wasn't so easy to let go either. Because he would be reminded by a lot of things. like the summer, the football field, the beach. the Christmas, the Valentine's Day. the blossoming of the flowers.
And the flying bubbles that flew high, high into the sky.
~Owari^^~