My Immortal by Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
He had left her to rot and wither, to burn and char to her very core. Her complexion was flawless; it remained a soft, chromatic white, as it had stayed for the past forty-two years. Her exterior was the picture of superior perfection, though she was a sizzled shell on the inside of what she once was. Her long mahogany hair was shining and waved to just above her waist, framing her lovely heart-shaped face. Her cheekbones were high and prominent, her eyes large, intense, golden, though wonderfully doe-like. Her lips were lush and plump, colored naturally a soft, welcoming pink. She was slender, sporting all the right curves in all the right places. She was the picture of beautiful innocence, a dreamlike girl any woman would die to be and any man would die to be with.
And yet, she was stained, ruined beyond repair. Her disease was incurable, her broken pieces shattered long past mending. Her beauty was marred by the anguished grimace twisting those lovely lips, tainting those large topaz eyes with a horrid glaze akin only to devastating heartbreak. Her heart, no longer beating, had been broken forty-two years ago; now, it was ground, smashed, slit, crushed, pulverized. It was hard to believe she still had a heart -- the only indication was the inexplicable, perpetual torture she felt, day in and day out.
All of her hopes and aspirations were in a state painfully similar to her stilled heart. Her one desire was an impossibility, a ghost that haunted her constantly, taunting and ruining her further. All she wanted was to see him, to feel his strong arms around her, to hear his soft breathing and only his breathing. She couldn't bear to think his name; long ago she had trained herself to never address him that way, for she feared she would collapse and never get up if she did. She was sure that would happen -- it was a certainty.
All of this, all of the torture, the pain, the agony, all to bear for eternity. Though she could never visit the real pits of Hades, this hell was real enough.
It took all she had for the lovely brunette to not fall to her knees and cry out. The familiar rain, falling heavily upon the dark forest, was both a comfort and a horrifying reminder of what she had once had here. Her pace was slow, almost to the point of humanity, languid for a being such as herself. Sobs continuously tried to surface, to break through her dormant expression. She couldn't allow them to, for if they did, the shell would not resurface for days.
Her gaze was blank as she stared at the very trees she had once stood by with him. The scent of humans was heavy in the air, suffocating her, though they were no more appealing than the deer she also detected. She was barely aware of the burn in the very back of her throat, sizzling and crackling like an open flame. She would have to hunt soon before she made an appearance in the small, rainy town of Forks -- she had caught her reflection in a pool of crystalline water and her eyes had morphed into a monstrous, devouring black.
So many memories were ripped fresh. She drew in a shaky breath, her small, pale hands trembling by her sides. She tried to focus on resteadying her breathing, regulating it like a well-oiled machine. It was a challenge, though, just like everything else was these days.
Each step took a shocking amount of effort.
She was frighteningly near where she had been broken, where she had been pierced by a poison spear. She was also near where she had been damned by the vengeful redhead who she still feared to that very day -- Victoria. It had been pure unluckiness that the horrid vampire had not killed her -- those three monsters had scared her away. She remembered them very clearly as they watched her claw at her clothing and her face, writhing and screaming in unadulterated agony. Their animalistic expressions had been hard with only the tiniest bit of sympathy in them, angering her, making her scream louder, making her cries longer. Why hadn't the horse-sized wolves killed her? She had wanted to die more than anything.
Her well-formed blankness was shot with a tortured shutter. Her hand brushed against the rough, nearly black bark of a mossy tree. Why had she come here? Did she want to experience freshened anguish? Was she truly that much of a masochist?
She stopped moving to collect herself, standing like a perfect, lovely statue in the middle of the rain and trees. She sucked in a trembling, deep breath, but froze as soon as a new scent pierced her. Instinctively, her muscles tensed, tightening around her hard bone. Her lip curled slightly and her black gaze flickered fiercely, as quick and thoroughly as possible, around her. Whipping around, she turned to face the owner of the new scent. She knew that it was a vampire, but she was not prepared for what she saw. How had she not heard the other's footsteps? How had she just now caught their scent?
Her nostrils flared, her mouth dropped, her eyes widened, as she stared at the breathtaking blond vampire standing a hundred feet behind her, who mirrored her stance and expression to perfection. Utter awe filled her, along with the beginnings of dread. The air was sucked out of her as if by a vacuum. Rosalie.
What do you think? Could just be a one-shot with a cliffhanger -- I don't know. It was very fun and angsty to write, either way. Review if you feel like it, or not, if you don't. I like it; it's very me, with the writing style and everything. And yes, I'm aware it's quite short. Just enjoy it for what it is. I'm also sorry about the very unoriginal choice of song for this chapter -- believe me, I searched everywhere for a song other than My Immortal, but no other songs got the feel exactly right.
For the moment, it is untitled because finding a title is like finding a good chapter song: hard. So, also forgive that. If I continue, which is currently undecided and entirely dependent upon if I get feedback (and if it's good), it will most likely continue to be third person with a chapter theme song. Thanks for reading.
xoxo crystal binoculars.