I Wasn't Programmed to Love
Chapter 1 - Programmed to Persuade
It was still dark on the planet of Mobius, and everyone was cozy and fast asleep in their beds…at least, ALMOST everyone. Poor Scratch and Grounder had been rudely awoken when Dr. Robotnik called them to his office for some important announcement.
"Couldn't you have waited fer us ta get another five hours of sleep, Robotnik?" Scratch asked in annoyance while rubbing his eyes, still wearing his purple nightcap, and Grounder was holding his teddy bear.
"Yeah, it's nearly five in the mornin'," Grounder added groggily.
"No, boys, for I'm afraid that what I have to present to you is FAR too important and exciting for sleep," Robotnik protested giddily with a huge grin, "when's the last time you've ever successfully caught Sonic?"
"Um, well, let's see, now…hmm…that would be never," Grounder replied when his right drill turned into a calendar and skimmed over it.
"Exactly! At this rate, I'll NEVER be able to dominate Mobius, and it's all because you two idiots can't do anything right!" Dr. Robotnik snapped, making the two robots shake and cower at his raised voice, but he then sighed and rubbed his temples, "but, any goal can be achieved with the correct motivation. Boys, I'd like you to meet my newest invention AND our newest member of the Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad!"
With that, Dr. Robotnik stepped out of the way and waved his arm back at a set of closed red curtains behind him, and when they were pulled back, Grounder and Scratch were quite surprised to see what was behind.
It was a young and beautiful female fox, with grey fur and a black underbelly, a big and bushy black tail, sparkling blue eyes, and she was only two and a half feet tall with an hourglass figure and a big bust; her attire was a rather showy choice, as it looked a lot like a sexy, red female flight attendant uniform.
"Hello, boys," she greeted in a calm and seductive tone and a little wave of her paw. And her charm worked, as Grounder and Scratch could only stare with wide eyes and slack jaws with their tongues hanging out.
"Scratch, Grounder, this is Slyra," Robotnik began with a smirk while grabbing the tongues of his two said henchmen, and quickly yanked on them to roll them back into their mouths like curtains, "I invented her—WIHOUT any accidents this time—to be intelligent, cunning, and above all—persuasive."
"Oh, I don't think there's any need for an introduction, Boss. I think they know what I'm programmed to do with just one look at me," Slyra protested with a smirk and winked at the boys.
"You sure you're a robot?" Scratch asked with shock.
"Yeah, it's kinda hard ta tell," Grounder added while blushing when he tried to look closer at Slyra's body, only to look away when he suddenly realized where exactly his eyes were drifting to.
"Why? You need proof? Go ahead, take a peek inside me, I don't mind," Slyra suggested while biting her lip, and she pressed her chest up against Grounder's and holding her paws behind her back.
And Grounder could only stand there, frozen with fear and embarrassment that such a sexy lady robot would physically touch him like that, as he started to stutter, sweat and blush uncontrollably; even puffs of steams started to break out between the small cracks and loose bolts of his metal exterior.
Out of jealousy, poor Scratch stood there while scowling and crossing his arms, as his frienemy got all the attention.
"Like I said: with the right motivation, I'm sure you boys could get anything done—including catching Sonic the Hedgehog, I hope," Robotnik added firmly.
"Definitely, Sir! …After we get a full night's sleep, please?" Scratch begged.
"Mmm, I could for a little shut-eye myself—but no snooping around in my room, boys. I'm still a woman with standards," Slyra warned with a cheeky grin and a wag of her index finger, and she then left with a sexy sway in her hips.
And once she was out of hearing range, Grounder couldn't help but declare, "Hot damn!"
Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard for Grounder and Scratch to go back to sleep, even after their 'unique' meeting with Slyra. But, at about ten thirty in the morning, they had another waking that wasn't as sudden as Dr. Robotnik's, and it was from none other than Slyra.
Scratch and Grounder's room was as small as a space pod, and it only had two hammock beds over each other, as Grounder slept in the top one and Scratch slept in the bottom. But Slyra made sure it wasn't going to be something she couldn't handle.
First, extending her legs to reach, she leaned over the sound asleep and loudly snoring Grounder.
"Time ta wake up, big boy," she whispered seductively into his (non-existent)ear, and he woke with a start as planned, but it also resulted in Grounder moving around too much and caused his hammock to flip over and drop him, and he dropped in on Scratch.
"Grounder…get your fat ass…off me!" Scratch shouted in a strained voice when Grounder proved to be too heavy, but he stopped trying to push the big robot off and gasped when he saw Slyra as she shortened her legs back to their normal length.
"G'monrin', boys. I made you some coffee. Scratch, yours has some corn creamer in it, and Grounder, I made sure to put extra pumpkin spice in yours, just the way you like it, right?" Slyra asked softly when she grabbed out two mugs of coffee, and handed them their respective drinks.
But the boys only looked down into the cups with both surprise and confusion.
"Why are you being so nice ta us?" Scratch question skeptically while glaring back up at Slyra.
"It's just the way I was designed. Also, I came to wake you up because Dr. Robotnik says he's spotted Sonic and Tails in the Eastern Village, and he wants us to set out to capture them immediately," Slyra replied with a simple adjusting tug at her dress at the chest area, once again making the boys stare with lust.
That afternoon, the three robots set out for the Eastern Village, which was just your average modern suburbanization, but the only reason they were there in search of Sonic was because the little town had Sonic's one and true weakness: a chilidog stand.
"So…what the hell is the plan, here?" Scratch grunted with impatience while helping Grounder to drag the manager a two employees into the frozen meat locker, who they tied up and gagged.
"It's simple, really: when Sonic comes by to buy a chilidog, which he will, he'll unknowingly eat a drugged chilidog," Slyra replied while adjusting a giant chef's hat on her head that she stole from the manager, and she presented them with a chilidog, which was secretly drugged with anesthetics.
"Drugged?" Grounder asked as he lifted a chilidog to his mouth the eat it, but Slyra quickly snatched it from him.
"Yes, so they're not for you—unless you WANT to go into a drug induced state where your limbs go completely numb, your brain temporarily shuts down, and you are basically left as vulnerable as a baby."
"U-uh, ya know, I had a big breakfast, anyway," Grounder gulped with fear.
"That's what I thought. Now, go hide before Sonic shows up and gets suspicious," Slyra demanded, but by the time she finished the sentence, she could already see Sonic and Tails quickly approaching the stand, so she immediately shoved Scratch and Grounder underneath the counter and out of sight, and just in time for her to put on an innocent smile and trick them.
"Hello, gentlemen, welcome to Charlie's Chilidogs. What can I get for you?" Slyra asked kindly while hiding the two drugged chilidogs, and she brought out a notepad and pen.
"Yeah! Two chilidogs, please! Extra cheese on mine," Sonic ordered with a smile.
"Two chilidogs, one with extra cheese, coming right up," Slyra repeated while scribbling on her notepad, and she then ducked underneath the counter to grab the chilidogs. But before she served them, she squirted extra cheese on one of them.
"Here you go, boys."
"Thanks!" Sonic thanked with a big smile and immediately took the cheesy chilidog.
"Yeah, thanks, ma'am," Tails happily thanked while taking the other chilidog, and unlike Sonic, who shoved the whole thing in his mouth, the young fox took his time to savor it.
And with that, the two freedom fighters left to go one with the rest of their day, finally letting Grounder and Scratch come out of hiding.
"Drugged chilidogs. Why didn't WE think a' that?" Scratch asked dumbfoundedly and whacked his palm to his forehead.
"Because all you boys needed was a little bit of a woman's touch," Slyra answered with a sly grin and removed her chef's hat, "now, the anesthetics should start working in less than ten minutes, so Sonic and Tails shouldn't even have left the village by then. Then, in the cover of night, when everyone is asleep, we're going to go out and capture them."
"Sounds pretty good ta me!" Grounder cheered.
Later that night, Slyra, Grounder and Scratch all headed out into the now empty and quiet streets of the Eastern Village in search of Sonic and Tails. And since the pale moonlight wasn't the best light source, the three robots switched on the bright flashlights in their eyes to look through some of the darker areas, like empty alley ways.
"Now, remember: if you see Sonic and/or Tails, do NOT shout. The last thing we need is to wake up the whole village," Slyra demanded firmly.
"Got it!" Grounder accidentally shouted.
"Shut it, bolt for brains!" Scratch hissed when he quickly clamped Grounder's mouth shut tight with his hand.
"Hey, stop before I shove an anesthetic chilidog down YOUR throats," Slyra growled and bared her teeth, immediately making the boys step away from each other and straighten up, "that's better—now, one of you go check down that alley. My Sonic Radar is going off the charts whenever I look down there."
But when Slyra pointed down the alley she wanted them to go down, Grounder and Scratch both started to shake a little at how dark and ominous the alley appeared.
"A-are ya sure your radar says he's down THERE?" Scratch whimpered.
"Y-yeah…besides, it's a little spooky," Grounder added shakily.
"Are you sure, Grounder?" Slyra questioned seductively while once again getting really close to the said robot in an uncomfortable way, at least, for Grounder.
"W-well, y-yeah, I mean, just look at it…it's dark, scary, I'm pretty sure I saw a giant rat, and-," Grounder rambled on, but he was cut off when Slyra gave him a quick kiss of the cheek.
Grounder immediately began to shake and whir, bolts rattled, he started to puff with steam like a tea pot, and the antenna on the back of his head twanged like a fork.
"Life's too short ta live like a chicken! Here I go!" Grounder proudly declared, and his treads screeched as loud as tires when he sped into the alley.
"Hey!" Scratch called angrily after Grounder's offensive remark, and he sprinted into the alley after him, forgetting how scary-looking it was in the first place.
And just as Slyra planned, Grounder and Scratch came back with their unconscious bounty, Scratch carrying Tails and Grounder carrying Sonic.
"Good job, boys. Now, what do you say we call it a night, and take the fugitives to Robotnik in the morning?" Slyra asked with a smirk and crossed her arms.
"What ever you say, beautiful," Grounder sighed lustfully with a dopey expression, making Scratch roll his eyes and slap him upside the head in annoyance.
Honestly, Grounder is just my favorite character in The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, and I couldn't help but feel that he needed some love.
Also, I'm not the only one that thinks Grounder sounds A LOT like Patrick Star from SpongeBob, right?
Until the next chapter, I'm TRikiD, bye-bye!