Hello everyone! I am back with new story about our beloved couple Regina & Robin. I am planning about 5 chapter or so. We shall see. Hope you will like this first chapter and if you do, please leave a review.
English is not my frist language so I am sorry for all the mistakes that may appear but I have tried to do my best.
I do not own OUAT nor it's characters. I just like to play with them.
They had a nice time together at the restaurant. All moments she spent just with Robin were precious to her no matter if they were truly alone or in a public place like this, in these moments life seem to be so simple, so normal and she loved it. She loved this dinner until almost the very end.
When they finished their food a man came to their table. The man who Regina had noticed was looking at her before. And she knew that look even she didn't know him. Well, he wasn't a complete stranger, he was from here, she remembered him being in Storybrook during the first curse but she didn't know his name and they'd never spoken together, not in here not in Enchanted Forest. But she knew the look in his eyes.
"You," he said, his voice sharp and cold. "How dare you just sit here like this? After all you've done. Maybe you've fooled people in this town, pretending to saving us but you'll never fool me. I know what you are doing, you've tried to become The Dark One yourself, have the power, have us all kneeling in front of you begging and then you would kill us like you've killed so many before. No, no, no, you won't fool me. Don't you have any feelings?"
Oh, she had feelings, so many of them and right now it seemed her feelings were trying to squeeze her heart to ashes right in her chest and some of them clenched her throat.
"Excuse me?!" Robin interrupted the coming sentences when the surprise from the sudden appearance of this man left his mind. He was about to stand up and defend Regina but the hand on his forearm stopped him. Regina's hand.
She shook her head slightly, "Don't." she whispered, something strange in her eyes and Robin couldn't figure out what it was. Disappointment? Resentment? Pain? Confusion? Regret? Compassion? Amusement? Maybe all of it and maybe something entirely different.
Regina looked back at the man, her back straight, her voice calm and strong. "You have all rights to be upset about the situation in our town. Despite I don't think you'll believe me I assure you I have no intention in becoming The Dark One." She paused to inhale, "And I'm sorry for whatever I did what make you think I do have this intention. Now, if you don't mind, you are interrupting private dinner, so..." she made a meaningful pause, "Have a nice evening."
The man stared at her with eyes full of hatred for few seconds, then he spit out the words "You are disgusting." and left.
"Regina..." Robin started but she didn't let him say anything she just smiled and asked if they could go home. So they did, walking hand in hand but not talking.
...
"Thank you, Belle." said Regina when she and Robin came home. The young woman was babysitting Roland and Henry while their parents had their dinner out.
"Anytime. It was fun with the boys, they are both asleep now." Belle smiled at Regina but she went straight past her, right to the living room. "Is she all right?" Belle turned her attention to Robin and he shrugged, bit uncertainly. "Actually, I am not sure."
"Well, I leave you then." She touched his arm in a soothing way and gave him small encouraging smile. "Good night."
"Good night, Belle." he returned the smile, "And thank you." Robin closed the front door behind her and followed Regina to the living room where he saw her to pour herself a glass of her homemade apple cider.
"Do you want some?" she motioned the bottle towards him but Robin shook his head so she took her glass and sat on the sofa.
This wasn't the first time someone said nasty things about Regina but she always listened to them, answered politely but never defend herself, never let Robin say anything.
"Why do you never let me defend you?" He asked and sat next to her.
Regina took a sip of her apple cider and a little, sad smile flashed across her face. "Because I don't need defending, they are right. That man didn't say it but isn't that obvious, Robin?" she asked but didn't really wait for any answer. "He and everyone else before had lost someone precious to them, someone who they cared about, who they loved and they'd lost them because of me. I'd killed them."
"Regina that's..." He reached for her right hand that rested on the sofa between them but she drawed it away from him.
"True. That's what it is." she finished instead of him, stopping whatever he wanted to say. "And they have every right to hate me for that. I'm not gonna take that right from them because that is all I've left them years ago."
"Years ago, yes. Regina, you're not The Evil Queen anymore, you saved everyone in this town multiple times. You've changed."
"Yes, I did." she stared into the gold substance in her glass.
"You've redeemed yourself, you're not the same person anymore." Robin continued.
She couldn't stop the snort that left her lungs, she shook her head and took another sip from her glass. Redeemed herself, no, she didn't know if she could ever redeem herself for all the pain, death and misery she'd caused. Most probably not but she was determined to try. Yes, she will try to outweigh with good at least some of the evil, as much as possible.
Regina looked deep in Robin's eyes, so loving eyes, and she cleared her throat. "I am the same person, Robin. That's the problem here. In a matter of fact, it doesn't matter if I've changed or not. I've done things which cannot be undone."
Robin watched her and he couldn't figure out what was there for him to say. Now it was Regina's hand that found his own and the touch was somehow gentle and firm in the same time. They hold their hands in silence, Regina's thumb soothingly caressed the back of his hand. Shouldn't that be me to sooth her? Robin thought and saw she wasn't looking at him anymore, her eyes were glued to their connected hands.
"I know it's hard for you," she said quietly, almost whispered, "You didn't know me then, what kind of person I was. That's why it's easier to think of The Evil Queen as of an other person than I am now, I understand. But it was me." She let go of his hand, stood up and walked to the fireplace, maybe she hoped the heat of the flames could melt the freezing hand that slowly started to creep its way around her heart. This was hard, it was so hard. She took another sip from her glass.
"You can't love me now and hate the woman I was. That won't work." Her voice was quiet and calm, no emotions in it, nothing of what she was feeling even she felt so much.
Love. She loved Robin with her whole heart. Robin, Henry and Roland were the only people she would sacrifice anything for, even her own life. She loved him with every piece of her soul and she knew he loved her back.
Pain. Knowing how much he loved her was beautiful but it also hurt so damn much. The most painful realization was that he would sacrifice his life for her too and she wasn't worth it, she didn't deserve all of that love.
Guilt. She felt terrible because she was the reason why Robin suffered. She complicated his life so much, she brought undecidable choices to him and what was the worst, he almost died because of her. Sometimes she thought it would be better for him if he'd never met her.
Selfishness. She could never send him away. It may make his life easier but she was too weak, too selfish. She couldn't imagine losing him again. She needed him in a way she'd never needed anyone else before and without him, she would be as good as dead.
Fear. Yeah, fear most of all. She was afraid that one day he'll realise she isn't good enough for him that he'll find out something about her past that will break his heart and make him leave. That she'll loose him and will be left alone with broken heart of her own and a massive hole in her soul. She was so scared that the day will come.
She wasn't looking into the flames, no, her eyes were closed. She heard Robin stood up from the sofa and a second after that she felt his hand on her lower back going up between her shoulder blades and back down, caressing, soothing, loving. His arm was now wrapped around her waist while his other hand was on the way up to her face. Gentle touch that made her turn to him, her eyelids shuttered as she looked at him.
"It's not true that I hate the woman you were." Robin said and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "I can't because I love you too much." he smiled. "I love you here and now but I love all of you, Regina. I accept you, the good and the bad, everything you did in the past. It's okay."
He could see the unshed tears in her eyes. Is it really okay? No, Regina knew it's not, Robin shouldn't be okay with that.
"You don't know..." she cleared her throat, "You don't know anything I've done."
"That is not exactly true," Robin shook his head, "I know some things, you've told me."
Yes, she did tell him. There were the nights of her nightmares, when she was tossing and turning, murmuring and crying from her sleep and Robin woke her up, hugged her, caressed her, whispered calming words into her ear. Sometimes she just lied there, drowning herself in the feeling of safety that Robin's closeness brought to her, sometimes she cried in his arms and sometimes she talked about the past that haunted her in her dreams.
She told him some stories about her mother, about Daniel's death and how Cora forced her into the wedding with the king, about the anger that she felt towards Snow, the endless war she brought her kingdom into and how she cast the curse. But except the fact she killed Marian he didn't know anything concrete about the terror she inflicted.
"I am aware there is much more, what I don't know yet and that's all right. Everything new I learn about you makes me love you more because I see how strong you are and how much you've been thru." he smiled at her and caressed her face again. "And I know there is nothing what can make me stop loving you, not in this life, not ever."
And nothing what can make you leave? She couldn't make herself to ask that question out loud. "You can't know it." She whispered instead, took his hand into hers and drawed it away from her face but didn't let go. Without really moving her feet she unconsciously got closer to his body as she breathed in the air filled with his scent.
Robin made the one step that was left between them and draw her into his embrace, caressing her back with his left hand while his right one was still holding hers. He brushed his nose against her temple and left there the slightest kiss when he realised what that was about.
"You're afraid." he whispered and pulled her even closer to him. "You're still afraid that I'll leave."
Regina looked at him, her eyes wet. "I..." she swallowed, "I believe you, I just can't help myself." She didn't want to hurt him with these feelings and Robin, fortunately, didn't look hurt but the smile on his lips were one of those sad ones.
"Is there something from your past what makes you feel this way? You can tell me anything and I'll listen." Robin brought her hand to his lips and gave it a little kiss before he added "And I will stay."
Regina was thinking. Was there something? No, she knew there were nothing concrete, it was just everything but how she could tell him everything? She shook her head. "Nothing I can tell you is enough to understand."
Robin looked at her with little confusion but he was thinking and finally an idea came to his mind. "And what about you could show me?"
Regina frowned, didn't following what Robin meant.
"If you can't tell me, maybe you could show me some of your memories." he explained. "There must be some magic that can do that, maybe Emma's dream catchers?"
Regina nodded, yeah, they could use the dream catchers, but she was quite surprised that Robin came up with this idea. He saw the hesitation that went thru Regina's face.
"I don't need to see your memories" he said quickly, "but I thought it might help. It seems that nothing I say can assure you in this issue. I've really accepted your past," he caressed her cheek, "I don't need to see anything because I know nothing can make me leave or change my feelings towards you. But I'm willing to watch if that's what you want."
Regina was looking at him like it was the first time she ever saw him. Could she really show him? Show him everything? She wasn't sure she was brave enough to do that. She was afraid that he'll leave in the future but it still meant she had at least present with him and this partial hope was all she had. But know for sure? Show him her memories right now and risk that he will leave in the following minute? Or... will he really stay? That would be the most amazing feeling, have him next to her knowing all about her past and still loving her. But was it worth risking that partial hope? How could she decide?
She drank the rest of her apple cider and put the empty glass on the table. Robin noticed the shuddering of her hands.
"I..." she swallowed and took a deep breath to bring back at least some of her courage but whichever words she wanted to say, Robin stopped them with his own.
"You don't have to decide now," he took her hands in his again, "Just promise me, you'll think about it."
Regina was looking at him, yes, she can do that, she can think about it. "Okay." She nodded with a small smile on her lips.
"Okay." Robin echoed with a smile of his own and kissed her cheek. "It's late, can we go upstairs now?"
So they did, Robin went straight to the shower and Regina checked on the boys, they were both sleeping calmly. After Regina finished her shower too and slipped under the blankets, Robin lifted his arm, inviting her silently into his embrace. She put her head down on his shoulder, one of her arms stretched across his chest with her palm right above his heart and one of her feet sneaked between his calves. Robin held her close with one arm, and rested his other hand on the top of hers on his chest. That was the way how they fell asleep most of the nights.
Show him my past? Regina thought again and now in the darkness of the room, in the closeness of his body, in his warmth and the scent she would know anywhere, she thought she could do it. "I love you." She whispered and the words were so natural to her she couldn't stop the smile.
"And I love you." he answered. Listening his words was as natural to Regina as saying her own and she knew it, yes, she could show him anything, everything. And with that decision she felt asleep.
Thank you for reading and hope you've like it. Please leave a review.
I am working on next chapter so stay tuned.
And be happy, the day is beautiful!