Summary: Humor. Festival time in Konoha has everyone excited. However, what happens when Sakura, Kakashi, Naruto and several other's fall into a jutsu resistant well located on a haunted trail with only a bottle of sake and a fried squid? Will the squid and sake be able to escape?
This story is a short based on the story "Distraction". You don't have to read that story to enjoy this one. Basically, a crazy mad-woman (who is actually very sweet and charming) brought Itachi, Deidara, Kisame and Kabuto back to life and forced them to work in a Hotel in a casino town in Wind country. Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke and Sai wreaked massive destruction on the hotel (accidentally) and were forced to work there for a while to reimburse the mad-woman's husband for the damage. Kakashi and Sakura are married, Naruto and Hinata are married, Itachi and Nami (OC) are married, Sasuke and Uran (OC) are married. Sai stayed at the hotel to work as a bartender. Itachi and Nami returned to Konoha to help Sasuke "rebuild" the clan. Jiraiya has returned as a ghost and Tsunade is still Hokage. The "Rookie 9" are in their early twenties. Other than that… this is crack so expect OOC and weirdness.
This story takes place after the Konoha ninja's have returned from Casino town, but before they have children.
I have placed a secret message in the story. Cyber cookies to the people who figure it out xD
Extra cyber cookies to the people who can guess what anime I stole the plot from xD
Please review!
Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns Naruto
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Down the Well
The festival was an annual event the entire village of Konoha looked forward to eagerly. Women worked on elaborate and colorful kimonos while men saved up money to take their girl-friends and wives out for several nights of fun. This year was no different from any other year. Brightly colored lanterns lit the vendor lined streets as the entire village walked around laughing and having fun.
Every year the festival adopted a theme that was used as a stepping stone for the decorations and side attractions. This year it was "Holloween". The elder council had protested, claiming that a western holiday had no place in their traditional eastern society. However, the festival organizers said it was not a holiday but a time of the year when ghosts and monsters came to the mortal world to scare and wreak havoc on the living. The elders finally relented and the planning began.
In accordance with the festival's theme was an attraction called the "Haunted Road". They decided it would be better than a haunted house since, at the end of August, it was much to warm to be stuck inside a building, for both guests and monsters. The "road" was a path through the northeastern part of Konoha that was still forested. It would be a mile long and have monsters and ghosts from the movies, books, and legends.
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Sitting in the living room, Sakura Hatake opened a package and pulled out a kimono with a letter attached. Puppy, a small Shi Tzu dog with beautifully silky light brown hair sniffed the garment carefully as Sakura opened the letter and read it.
"Sakura, thanks again for volunteering to play the park of Okiku. Your costume is enclosed, if you need anything else let us know. Also, please memorize the "Okiku" legend so that you can play her part and, above all, scare people!"
Opening up a second letter she read the short legend.
"Okiku was the servant of a Samurai, Tessan Aoyama many hundreds of years ago. He lusted after her, but she continuously declined his advances. One day he decided to bribe her by hiding one of ten valuable Dutch plates and threatening to publicly blame her for the disappearance if she refused to become his mistress. Filled with sorrow and shame she threw herself into a well and drowned. Every night after that her ghost would rise up out of the well and count… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9… and then let loose a series of heart wrenching sobs and bone chilling howls. Eventually, Aoyama went insane."
"Wow, good thing I'm a medic-nin. My voice is going to be so sore after howling all night." Sakura said to the little dog, who was now sitting and looking straight up at her.
She looked at the kimono again. It was a deep blue with dragonflies and waterlilies woven into the fabric. However, it was a cheaply made costume so the detail, when viewed close-up was blurred. "It would be even more beautiful if it was silk, but I still love it."
"Hey, you're home already." Kakashi walked into the room, his silver-white hair sticking straight out at an angle and his headband pulled down over one eye. He pulled down his mask as he bent down to give his wife a lingering kiss.
"It's 11pm, I've been home for five hours. Are you really loosing track of time that badly?" She teased.
"Ah! I guess so." He smiled, creasing his eyes and scratching his head. "Wait a minute, it's only 7pm. Are you trying to confuse me?"
"Apparently not, if you figured it out." Sakura gave a short laugh. "I got my costume. Tomorrow is the festival. Did you pick up your stuff at the dry cleaners?" Sakura stood up and shook out her kimono, holding it in front of her.
"Yeah, at lunch. It's in the closet already. That's a beautiful kimono. Who is playing Aoyama?" Kakashi reached over and took a piece of the fabric in his hands. "Satin?"
"Yeah, well, they have a small budget and it's cheaper to wreck a satin costume kimono than a real silk kimono."
"Good point."
"Oh, and Lee is going to play Aoyama."
"Oh god." Kakashi closed his eyes imagining the young man over-acting for the sake of drama. At least he had gotten over his decade long crush on Sakura. If that's what you wanted to call it.
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"We aren't going to wrap the obi too tightly since you are going to have to climb in and out of a well all night." Ino had offered to help with the costumes for all the monsters. The blonde woman finished tying the obi and turned Sakura around. "Perfect! Now let's get the makeup on."
"Not too much, Ino. I'm supposed to be a ghost, remember?" Sakura was, understandably, paranoid about Ino's make-up jobs. Her best friend, who fit the definition of "fashion victim" to a "T", always went overboard.
"I'm going to put traditional makeup on you, white with red cheeks and do up your eyes. It will be okay. It's the way she would look in a play. I looked it up in the library to make sure." Ino smiled warmly at her friend as she applied the white base the Sakura's skin. Sakura had to admit she was impressed at her friend's research and decided to not worry about it too much.
"Hey! Everyone decent in there?" A strong male baritone echoed in the preparation tent, making Sakura and Ino smile.
"Yes, come in Kisame." Sakura laughed. The blue shark man had come up for the festival because he wanted to play one of the monsters. The planning committee had been ecstatic over his request, after all, having a real monster at their festival would be a great advertising gimic. They had gone all out to get him a pass into the village and the best hotel room, meals, and anything else he requested. Deidara and Sai had accompanied him, however Kabuto refused, rightly assuming that Konoha would not be willing to put out the welcome carpet for him anytime soon. Currently, he was in Wind country at the Casino hotel, living it up with his two girlfriends. They were going to be alone in the hotel room for two weeks and planned on making the most of it.
"Ino, would you tell the monster coordinator that I do not need a costume or makeup?" Kisame sat down in a folding chair and propped his fake Samehada against another folding chair.
Sakura and Ino laughed. "Are you serious?" Sakura asked.
Ino shook her head, "The guy actually thinks you need a costume? What did he want to dress you up as?"
"A white cape." Kisame smirked.
Ino blanched. "Not even! You would look awful in white! Besides, the black kimono you have on is much better. It suits you."
"Exactly."
"Don't worry about it, I'll talk to him. And you don't need any makeup. You're perfect the way you are." Ino winked at him and Kisame laughed, winking back as he stood up and left the tent.
"Are you flirting with a forty-year-old man, Ino?" Sakura teased her friend.
"If it bothers you, it's a good thing you didn't see me in my last mission." Ino laughed cheerfully as she tapped white powder onto her friends face.
Sakura looked at Ino suspiciously. The blonde was dressed in a low cut Kimono that had the obi situated so that the bottom half revealed her legs. Her makeup was overdone and her hair was piled high with an expensive-looking comb placed off center. She looked like a Geisha who had a little too much action.
Blinking in surprise (she wasn't sure she was surprised at the costume or surprised because she was surprised) Sakura spoke hesitantly. "Is that a costume… or your disguise from the mission?"
"Silly, it was my disguise. Perfect, huh?" Ino stood up and twirled, giving Sakura a full view of the black kimono interwoven with several different types of flowers.
Sakura sighed, smiling. She should have known.
"You're ready! Lee is waiting for you at the well, so better get a move on." Ino pushed Sakura out of the tent opening and yelled "Next! And make it quick!"
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Sakura looked around for the event coordinator, but didn't see him. She did see one of his assistants and waved her hand at him as she walked over.
"Hey, Sakura, you look great." The man walked came over and walked around her once to see the entire costume.
"Thanks. Where is the well at? I haven't seen the map." Sakura asked, giving the assistant a friendly smile.
"Oh, it's…" He pulled out a map of the area and looked at it, "here, about fifteen minutes from the start of the trail."
"Thanks!" Sakura walked off, grateful that she had been allowed to wear her ninja sandals instead of the traditional, hard-to-walk-in sandals that would have been appropriate for her kimono.
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Reaching the well Sakura looked down into the black depths. It was night, and while the path was lit with lanterns, the light did not extend down into the well. She pulled out a flashlight and aimed it downwards. The well was about twenty feet deep and dry.
"I guess, I'm supposed to hide inside and jump out when people come by." She looked around the area. The well was in a small clearing, and set back from the trail about three feet. The well itself had circular stone wall that was about three feet high. Unlike most wells, this one didn't have a roof.
"I wonder where Lee is? I thought Ino said he was already in position? I guess he probably got sidetracked." She looked down the well again. "I guess I'll just climb in and wait then. The trail opens in a few minutes." Sakura climbed onto the stone wall and then jumped to the bottom, landing gracefully. She looked up at the round entrance, viewing the starry sky. It was pretty here, she had to admit. The view was unique. The well was also surprisingly roomy. It was about twenty feet wide at the bottom and ten feet wide at the top. She had a passing thought about why such a big well would have been dug, but quickly dismissed it.
Crouching down she prepared to jump straight up. Leaping up she hit something with her head and dropped back down to the ground. Rubbing her head she looked up. There were no rocks jutting out, so what did she hit her head on? She tried it again, with the same results. Feeling a little panicked she tried to use chakra to walk up the side, but she kept slipping.
"What the hell!" She yelled in frustration. The well was protected with a jutsu that prevented a person inside from climbing outside. "I'm trapped! I can't believe it!" She pushed chakra into her hand and prepared to punch the wall, but stopped an inch from the stone wall. "Shit! If I hit the wall it will collapse on top of me! This sucks!"
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"Hey Lee, where's Sakura?" Kakashi walked up to the well and spoke a man clad in green, formal samurai robes.
"She is not here kakashi-sensai! Perhaps she is with Ino!" He spoke with concern in his voice. "The trail has opened and already some guests have come by looking for the ghost." Lee leaned back against the square brick well and reached up with his had to grip one of low-hanging roof beams.
Kakashi frowned. It wasn't like Sakura to be late. "I'll go find out what's going on."
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"Why are we doing this again?" Itachi sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back against a tree.
"Haven't a clue. I for one do not remember volunteering." Sasuke tried to adjust his latex mask, but he couldn't seem to get it in a comfortable position.
"And why do I have to be Dracula? I hate vampire films." Itachi was also trying to adjust his mask as well. It kept slipping forward, blocking his vision.
"Well, your wife is the one who picked the costumes, talk to her." Sasuke said sarcastically.
"Yah, well, you're wife is the one who pushed through the monster theme to begin with!" Itachi countered with equal sarcasm.
"I can't help it if she watched horror movies all the time!" Sasuke defended his wife, but his sarcasm was still present.
"Ever hear of an 'off' switch? It's a new contraption they include with every TV set! Try using it!" Itachi was yelling now.
"Oh yeah? Well you try to turn the TV off in front of her, if you live through it let me know!"
"You that hen-pecked, Sasuke-kun?"
"What about you? I don't see you saying 'boo' to your wife!"
"Mommy! Mommy! Look! Dracula and Frankenstein!" Two children, perhaps seven and eight, ran up to the arguing monsters, pointing at them and smiling happily.
Itachi and Sasuke immediately turned around, put their hands out like claws and growled, a little more fiercely than the occasion called for. Both children immediately screamed at the top of their lungs and ran to their mother.
"They scared us! Make them stop, mommy!"
"It's a haunted trail. Of course they scared you! This is why I didn't want to come here! How many times do I have to tell you…" her voice faded as she walked down the trail to the next attraction.
"That felt good." Sasuke said, smiling under his mask.
"Yes it did, brother. Very good." Itachi agreed, leaning back against his tree he went back to adjusting his mask.
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"Hello! Is anyone up there?" Sakura yelled, convinced she had head voices approaching the well.
"Mommy! I wanna go home! It's too scary!" A child's voice could be heard coming closer.
"We have to walk the rest of the way through the trail first. I can't magically transport us out of here! Besides it was your idea to come so quit being a baby." A woman's tired voice could be heard almost directly above Sakura and she put her hands up next to her mouth and yelled.
"Help! I'm trapped down here and I can't get out! Please tell someone!"
"Ahhhhhhhh!" The woman screamed, followed by the sound of two young school-age children screaming as well. The screaming faded away as the three ran down the trail.
Sakura leaned back against the wall and slid down to the ground. "How am I going to get out of here?" She estimated that thirty minutes had passed, and unfortunately every person who heard her begging for help had either run off scared or congratulated her on her good acting. Sighing, she buried her face in her hands. Eventually, someone would miss her and come looking. Hopefully Lee would be here soon and wonder where she was.
The fact that Lee wasn't there yet did concern her. If something had happened to him and he couldn't come, then it would be hours before anyone noticed she was missing. When the festival ended at 1am and Kakashi noticed she wasn't back at the staff tent, then surely he would come looking. She almost felt like crying, but, really, she wasn't in that bad of a situation. After all, it was summer, it wasn't raining and the well was dry so she wasn't sitting in mud.
"Sakura, what are you doing down there? You're in the wrong well." Kakashi's voice sounded like an angel's voice from heaven and for a minute Sakura was too overcome with emotion to respond. However, as her husband's words slowly wove their way through her brain her anger kicked in.
"Wrong well! What the hell are you talking about?" Sakura yelled up at him.
"The wrong well." He grabbed her around the waist and nuzzled his nose in her neck, kissing her lightly.
"What are you doing down here!" Sakura's alarm returned and her anger was quickly forgotten.
"Making out with my wife." He turned her around and pushed her up against the wall, bending down to capture her lips with his. She closed her eyes as she gave in to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
Slowly, Kakashi pulled away. "Let's go the other well. Lee's waiting for you."
"Wait. There's a jutsu on this well, we can't get out." Sakura said quietly.
"What? Impossible. Why would anyone do that?" He jumped up, only to hit the same invisible barrier Sakura did earlier. He then tried to use chakra to walk up the wall, only to slip. "What is this place?"
"I don't know. It makes no sense at all." Sakura sighed again and sat down on the ground.
"Hey! What's going on down there?" A voice yelled down at them. Sakura and Kakashi looked up and saw the outline of torso and head staring down at them.
"Naruto! Stay…" Kakashi didn't get to finish his sentence, as Naruto jumped down into the well to join them.
"Can anyone join this party, or are you two down here making out instead of scaring the festival goers?" Naruto's big smile was way too cheerful for the pair.
"We're stuck down here, Naruto." Kakashi sighed, then explained the situation.
"Perhaps we can try to get out without using chakra." Sakura reasoned. "We'll form a human ladder and try to climb out."
"Great idea Sakura! Kakashi, you stand on my shoulders, then Sakura, you climb up and stand on Kakashi's. That should be enough to reach the top." Naruto knelt down with his front facing the wall and his back to Kakashi.
"Sakura, climb on my back. When I get on Naruto, climb up and grab the top of the well." Kakashi bent down enough for Sakura to climb on his back. Kakashi then climbed on Naruto's shoulders, after first kicking off his sandals. Naruto, with great difficulty, started to stand up, then stopped.
"Ow! Stop Naruto! Stop! Put me down!" Kakashi had hit his head on the barrier. Naruto immediately stopped, but the weight above him unbalanced him and his foot slipped, plunging everyone to the ground. Kakashi was able to twist his torso enough at the last minute to keep himself from landing on Sakura.
"Well that didn't work. Is everyone okay?" Sakura asked, disappointed.
"Hey! What's everyone doing down there, un?"
"Deidara! NO!"
"Ow! Get off of me!" Deidara had jumped into the well, landing (on purpose) on Naruto's back.
"I brought sake!" Deidara stood up and tipped the bottle back, gulping down a drink before Naruto grabbed the bottle from him, so he could take a drink of his own. "So what's the deal, un?" He looked around the small well. "Not the usual place for a party, un, but hey, I've seen worse, un."
"We can't get out." Kakashi said, hiding his face in his hands. He suddenly felt tired and very annoyed.
"Why? You guys don't look that drunk, un." Deidara balked as three sets of hostile eyes looked back at him.
"Bomb's away!" Nami, Itachi's wife jumped down, followed by Sasuke's wife, Uran.
"No! No one else is allowed to jump down!" Sakura moaned.
"We happen to have sake, fried squid, and caramel corn." Uran said petulantly. If you don't want it we'll just leave."
"Go ahead and try, un." Deidara smirked.
"No. I'm not leaving until I'm drunk." Uran opened the sake bottle and took a swig, then passed it to Sakura, who took a big swig.
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"Samehada doesn't slice it shaves!" Kisame lurched forward and aimed his fake sword at a woman and two children.
"Mommy! He's trying to kill us!" One of the children moaned, tears come out of his eyes.
"Mommy!" the other child tried to get the woman's attention.
The woman was looking at the blue shark-man standing menacingly in front of her. His kimono was open, revealing a well-defined, muscular chest. His arms were strong, and his teeth were perfectly chiseled.
"You know, you remind me of someone I went to school with back in Mist." The woman walked up to him for a closer look. "Kisame? Is that you?"
Kisame looked carefully at the woman and cocked his head to one side, deep in thought. It was almost thirty years ago since he had attended the academy. "Kaho?"
"Yes! You remember! Oh my god, I had the biggest crush on you back then!" Kaho clapped her hand together and blushed, slightly embarrassed.
"Really? You know I had a big crush on you as well. The strongest Kunoichi in the class, every guy was chasing after you." Kisame laughed at the old memory. He had thought himself too ugly back then due to his Kekkei Genkai and had never gotten up the courage to ask her out or even talk to her.
"What a coincidence! I thought you were dead, actually." She smiled at him, pleased at the serendipitous meeting.
"So what are you doing here?" Kisame was curious.
"I married a Leaf ninja after the war and moved here, but… he left me for greener pastures a couple years ago. Middle age crisis I guess. He's married to some twenty-year-old, and I'm nearing forty." Her honest answer reminded him of one of the reasons he had such a crush on her so long ago.
"Single, huh? Me too. I live down in Wind country at the Casino hotel. So these your kids?" Kisame looked down at the boy and girl who had been quietly watching their mother's talk to the sharkman. They were still a little scared and wondered what was wrong with their mother.
"Yes. My son, Etsuya is eight-years-old, and my daughter Etsuko is seven. They are both first in their classes at the Academy. They were a little spooked by an arguing Dracula and Frankenstein and I think the long day's festivities have made them a little cranky." The woman beamed with pride as she introduced her children.
"Nice to meet you Etsuya and Etsuko." Kisame replied politely.
The two children bowed, "We are pleased to make your acquaintance, master Kisame."
"What polite children." He wasn't fooled though. Usually the polite ones were only putting you off guard so they could tie your shoelaces together or tack a "kick me" sign on your back. "I work as a lifeguard at the hotel pool and I spend a lot of time with children everyday, teaching swimming and diving classes."
"Oh! That sounds like fun! We love to go swimming, but Konoha doesn't have a pool. We can only go to the lake in the summer." Etsuya answered, envious of the large man's chosen occupation.
"Why aren't you a ninja like mommy?" Etsuko asked quietly.
"I'm retired."
Kisame's simple reply satisfied the girl and she looked at her mother. "I give you permission to marry him."
Kisame and Kaho started coughing and both blushed.
"I also give my permission for mommy to marry Kisame." Etsuya was not going to be outdone by his little sister.
Kaho regained her composure, somewhat, and asked, "Why would you say such a thing! You've only just met him and I have seen him in almost thirty years!"
"I want to go swimming everyday. If you marry him we can live with him and go swimming." Etsuko thought it was a reasonably logical explanation and was curious as to why her mother didn't seem to like it.
"I want to go swimming too." Etsuya replied, copying his sister again.
"How about I take you all to the lake tomorrow and show you a jutsu that you can use to swim when it's cold out?" Kisame's mind had been thinking furiously as Kaho was speaking to her children. He wanted to take his childhood crush on a date and obviously the children would have to be included. While they swam in the lake, he could have some "alone time" with their mother.
"Can we?" both children said at the same time.
Kaho couldn't help but laugh, she immediately knew what Kisame was up to. "Of course. I'll meet you there at noon. I'll bring a lunch for us all."
Kisame gave her a big smile. A homemade lunch and a beautiful woman. Coming up to Konoha for the festival was proving to be an excellent decision. "I'll be there!"
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"Where's Deidara?" Sakura asked, suddenly alarmed. The blond was no longer in the well.
Uran shook her long black hair out of her face and held up an empty sake bottle. "He climbed out to get more."
"He what!" Sakura, Kakashi and Naruto yelled at the same time.
"How?" Kakashi asked.
"Oh, you know, he kind of did this…" Uran put her hands up, bending her fingers forward to look like claws then moved her arms up and down while saying "skitta skitta skitta skitta skitta" in a pathetic imitation of a lizard.
Everyone laughed.
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"You know, as 'Draculas' go, you're pretty pathetic. Didn't you even practice for the part?" Sasuke was starting to get uncomfortable in his costume and was getting cranky. The mask was hot and sweaty and kept slipping, and the clothes were making him sweaty and itchy, and the platform shoes felt like he was carrying hundred pound weights on his legs.
"No. Of course not. I told you I don't like Dracula movies. It's only one night and it's not even a mission. Don't tell me you practiced to be Frankenstein?" Itachi was suffering in his costume just as much as his brother.
"Of course I practiced. It's not a mission, but it is a role I am playing and I want to do it right." Sasuke replied petulantly to his brother's lazy attitude.
"Shit Sasuke, calm down a little. You need to learn to relax. It's just a festival, not the Academy Awards." Itachi couldn't believe his brother actually practiced to play an imaginary character in a haunted festival attraction.
"Well I take my responsibilities serious. You are far too laid back for your own good. You need to take things serious as well." Sasuke was becoming irritated.
"I take some things serious. My job is very serious." Itachi didn't like being accused of being lazy and felt that Sasuke was overreacting.
"You let everyone in your department out early two days this week! How is that serious?" Sasuke raised his voice and pointed a finger at Itachi, feeling that he had made a very important point.
"I took them on a department picnic, then let them out early the next day to prepare for the festival. My department helped built most of the vendor stalls!" Itachi also raised his voice, he had seem how hard his employees had worked and was justifiably proud of them.
"Frivolous! If I did that things would fall apart!" Sasuke was now yelling.
"You are the police chief and a sensei! I think that's a little bit different from managing an ANBU research project!" Itachi was now yelling as well.
"That's right it is! It's very stressful and I need to do everything just right or it will fall apart!" Sasuke had become caught up in the argument and was now exaggerating.
"Oh yeah! Well my job is just as stressful! Tracking down plots and keeping track of the smaller hidden villages isn't a walk in the park!"
"BOO!"
"Ahhhhhhh!" Itachi and Sasuke both screamed and jumped out of the shrubs they were hiding behind and onto the trail, right in front of a group of five teenagers who promptly started screaming bloody murder then ran back the way they had come.
"Jiraiya! I'm going to kill you!" Itachi and Sasuke yelled at the same time and then launched themselves at the white-haired ghost. The brothers landed face-first on the ground, having passed right through him.
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"Hey! So this is where you are. Why is everyone in the well?" Sai looked down at the people crowded into the well bottom. His emotionless face betrayed nothing of his curiosity.
"Sai! Look out!" Sakura looked up at him and saw a dark figure behind him.
"I am looking. What are you talking about?" The voice coming out of the well echoed slightly, making it sound like he was being told to "look".
"Behind you Sai!" Kakashi yelled. The dark figure had raised its hands and was approaching the unknowing man.
"What?" Sai yelled back. The dark hands connected with his back and Sai found himself plummeting down the well to join the others. The dark figure moved forward and the light revealed…
"Deidara! The hell?" Naruto was pissed, since, of course, Deidara had dropped Sai directly on top of him.
"Oh! Did I do that? How careless. Look out below!" Deidara dropped several large bottles of sake into the well then jumped in. Naruto moved to the other side of the well and scrunched up against the wall. Deidara landed on his feet and opened the bottle still in his hands, taking a long drink, then staggering a little he fell against Naruto, forcing both of them to fall. Deidara landed on Naruto's back.
"Deidara, how did you get out of the well earlier?" Sakura asked, almost desperately.
"I'm a stone nin. I can climb stones. Besides, this is a perfectly good party, why do you want to leave?" He opened a sack that he had thrown down with the sake, pulled out a squid and started munching on it.
Sai decided the location was some sort of "bonding" method he had never heard of and promptly started drinking as well.
"This sake tastes weird. Where did you get it?" Sai, who had traded his ninja career for bartending, had tried probably a couple hundred or more types of sake.
"I don't know. Some short guy in a green kappa costume was hanging out down the trail and gave it to me. He had several bottles. Weird, though, the little girl with him asked if he was supposed to be giving it away." Deidara, who had been "slightly" inebriated when he ran into the pair had been more than happy to accept the free sake, especially since it meant he didn't have to walk all the way to the store.
"What was she dressed in? A fox demon outfit?" Naruto asked sarcastically, rubbing his back.
"Just an orange and white checked kimono."
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"Hey! Hey! Guys, quiet down. Someone is coming." Sakura was starting to get into the party mood. "Let's wait for them to get close to the well then start howling."
"Ok, let us know when." Nami said happily, then covered her mouth to keep from laughing.
"…and then I totally told him to get lost. Like I would ever go out with someone who isn't in a clan." The first voice, a teenage girl from the sound of it, came closer.
"As if! He's such a looser. I hate having him on my team." The second voice was male.
"But it's much better being here with you." The girls sugary speech made everyone in the well feel like barfing.
"Of course. I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else." Naruto started to make quiet puking noises, causing Nami, Uran and Sakura to break out laughing. They covered their mouths quickly to mask the noise.
Kakashi raised an eyelid in question and Sakura nodded. Everyone started to moan and wail in whatever fashion they thought was "ghostly".
The girl started to scream half-heartedly, "Hold me! I'm scared! Please, the woods are haunted." A muffled teen-age boy's voice could be heard, then suddenly there were blood-curdling screams and the sound of two people running away from the well.
"That is how it is done correctly." Jiraiya's head popped out of the wall, startling everyone. "Amateurs." He disappeared as quickly as he came.
"Wait! Pervy Sage, what did you do?" Naruto yelled into the empty air.
"Dang. I bet he just appeared in front of them all ghostly and stuff." Uran said, dropping to the ground. It was getting harder to stand up. Everyone else took her lead and sat down as well.
"By the way, Naruto, where is Hinata?" Sakura asked.
"She and Hanabi are spending some time together. Hanabi is leaving on a four month mission tomorrow." Naruto smiled and scratched the back of his head.
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"You should do something about your hair." Itachi reached out and tapped his brother on the back of the head.
"There's nothing wrong with my hair." Sasuke said in a bored voice. He was getting tired and his voice was hoarse from howling at the festival goers.
"You look like a cockatiel." Itachi had to clear his throat a couple time to get all the words out. He was also starting to suffer from all the howling. He sighed.
"Yeah? What about your long hair? You look like a girl. It goes down to your waist!" Sasuke dropped down on the ground in middle of the trail and laid back, wishing he could take off the costume and feel the cool dirt on his sweaty back.
Itachi dropped down beside him. "My hair is very manly. The girls love it. Nami enjoys running her fingers through it when we're having sex."
"That is seriously more information than I needed to know." Sasuke made a face at his brother, which was pointless as he was still wearing a mask.
"Hey, if you need some hints let me know. As your older brother I know more about it than you do." Itachi offered in a self-satisfied, know-it-all voice.
"Like hell! You were traveling around with a blue sharkman! I bet you didn't have a girl until you were resurrected! Me and Karin were doing it…"
"That is much, much, more than anyone ever needs to know." Itachi yelled as he covered his ears. "And I'll have you know that Kisame does much better with the ladies than people think. He introduced me to several while we were in Akatsuki."
"Leftovers, huh?" Sasuke smirked.
"You little jerk!" Itachi picked up a handful of gravel and tossed it at his brother.
"At least I'm not a slut!" Sasuke also threw a handful of gravel.
"I hope you had those diseases treated before you married Uran." Itachi threw another handful of gravel.
"At least mine didn't cause my dick to fall off!" Sasuke threw two handfuls of gravel.
"Boys! What are you doing?" Hinata was standing on the trail next to her younger sister gazing at Itachi and Sasuke, who were still lying prone on the ground.
"Rawr!" The halfhearted growl was short and tired sounding.
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"Kisame? Oh my god! Is it you!" A woman was standing in front of Kisame with her hands folded in front of her chest. "You are my all time favorite Akatsuki! I can't believe I'm seeing you in person!"
Kisame grinned. Another fangirl. An this one was built. As in perfect.
"Yep, it's me!" He stood, leaning against his fake Samehada, which had the effect of opening his kimono even more to reveal his chest.
"Wow!" She practically swooned as she reached out to grabbed to his arm. "So how long are you in town?"
"I'm leaving in eleven days. What do you say we get together?" Kisame smiled at the woman, then bent down to give her a short kiss on her lips.
The woman's legs went wobbly for a minute and her eyes went wide. "Anything!" was all she could get out.
Kisame pulled a small book out of his pocket and flipped through it. So far, he had fourteen names and eight dates lined up. "Next week for dinner, Tuesday. Sound good?"
"Yes! I'll be there!" She told him her name and phone number then walked away, happier than she thought she ever could be.
"I'd forgotten how much fun it is to be around shinobi." Kisame said out loud. "Civilian women think I'm freaky, but the kunoichi can't get enough! I'll have to visit Konoha more often."
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"Argh! My head hurts. Sakura? Are you up yet?" Naruto moaned.
"Don't talk so loud!" Deidara moaned right along with him.
"I'm awake." Sakura said quietly. "Give me a few minutes, then I'll work on everyone's hangovers. She laid quietly and slowly opened her eyes. The sun was just starting to come up over the trees. The sky was a beautiful shade of pale blue and the scent of dew and the feel of the wet grass below her hands and legs felt so good… "Wet grass!" Sakura sat straight up, forgetting her headache.
Everyone else sat straight up as well. There were no longer in the well. In fact…
"Where is the well!" Naruto yelled. Everyone looked around but there was no sign of the stone well. In fact, placed in the spot where they were all sure the well had been the previous evening was a tree.
Everyone stood up and started to walk around, looking for some sign that they hadn't hallucinated the previous evening. Sakura bent down and started to dig around the tree. "I think I found it!" Everyone gathered around her.
An old stone foundation was revealed. The ground inside the ring was hard and the tree grew out of it, splitting part of the stone ring with its roots.
Quietly, hangover's forgotten, the partiers made there way silently back to their homes.
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"Tsunade…" Sakura pulled her pink hair away from her face as she sat down in front of her mentor. The woman was found, a few hours later, sitting in front of a sake stand. "You have lived here for a long time."
"If this is about my age, I'm not senile and I'm not quitting." The blonde Hokage smirked at her student. She knew Sakura was talking about something else, but she enjoyed teasing her anyway.
"No! Of course not! I'm just wondering if you know of any legends about a haunted well." Sakura had to know what happened the previous night.
Tsunade smiled. "So you saw it." She said in a soft voice. Sakura nodded once, and Tsunade continued talking. "A long time ago, when I was a teenager, an older ninja who had a lot of enemies and a reputation for drinking a lot fell into a well along the same trail being used for the 'haunted road'. A jutsu prevented him from escaping. He was found a month later, dead. The well was filled in and a tree was planted over it by his children in his memory. However, every now and then the well re-appears and anyone walking by it with sake is drawn to it. Many wild parties have taken place, supposedly, inside the vanishing well. In the morning the partiers always find themselves outside of the well wondering what happened.
"I saw it once… Dan and I… we were walking through the woods with a bottle and stumbled into the well. It's one my favorite memories. Sometimes I return to the spot and pour a bottle of sake on the remains of the well. I believe the old ninja just wants to party sometimes."
Sakura couldn't help but wipe a stray tear away.
"Of course," An elderly man at the next table interrupted them, "the other story is that he materializes the well so he can steal your liquor."
"What?" Sakura asked, confused.
"When you showed up at the top of the well in the morning, were any of your bottles or food with you?"
"That little… he stole our sake and squid!" Sakura's voice could be heard echoing all over Konoha.
………..The End………
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