Hello everyone and welcome to my Newest Fanfic and my first Homestuck and Sadstuck Fanfiction. WARNING! This contains several triggers which may or may not include: Self- harm, suicide attempt(s), rape(s), and abuse. As the chapters go on I will add more warnings if they are not addressed in this. You've been warned. DISCLAIMER! I do not own Homestuck.

Nepeta's POV

If only I had known

"E- Equius please *sob* don't leave me alone" I cried out as he begun to walk away "Stay away from me, I hate you" he yelled and slammed the door. Now I wish I hadn't survived Gamzee's rampage, then all this pain I feel at this moment I would've never felt. Equius thankfully survived do to Karkat's sickle cutting the lines around his neck lose however we were not sure if he was going to make it so when he did I refused to tell him how Gamzee had beaten me until I passed out, gagged me and waited for me to wake up the he raped me. However when Equius woke up he blamed me for his near- death experience and left me here crying. 'I want to be dead, I feel so dirty and cold and gross. I feel like I do not belong here anymore. Why the fuck couldn't he kill me? I want to be dead the feeling the memories, the horror and Equius leaving me on my own… I now have no one and will never again I won't be able to deal with this…' I thought and decided I would cut myself and bleed out until I succumbed to my death by blood loss. No one would miss or care for me either way.

Gamzee's POV

I cannot believe I did that to Nep- Sis and Equi- Bro I feel so horrible especially since I heard about Equius breaking their moiralliance and then I heard him from the vents saying how she failed as a moirrail and almost let him die. That's when I couldn't take it jumped out and punched him in the face sitting on him. "Highb100d what was that about" he looks at me through his sunglasses. "You insulted Nep- Sis and you know she did try to motherfucking save you" I begin and Karkat looks at me and said "GAMZEE NEPETA DOES NOT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW!" I ignore him and continue "Until I took her motherfucking wrist, snapped it, threw her across the room, beat her until she was unconscious, gagged her waited for her to wake up, and motherfucking raped her. Now tell me why she failed- huh?" At that moment he threw me across the room and into the wall behind me, leaving cracks and a huge hole where I was. He then took me by the collar of my shirt, and using his free arm to punch me in my face. I couldn't help but to scream and hold onto my nose as he threw me down and ran out of the room. 'Ouch I think my skull is broken but as long as they are moirrails and there for each other I guess it's worth it' I thought to myself until I saw Karkat glaring at me "FUCKASS" he said then walked away.

Equius's POV

Why didn't she go to tell me about this…? WAS she even going to? I feel like a lowblood right now. I have to find her. "Equius, You May Want To See This" Kanaya comes up to me, although I have never really talked to her that much she still helps Nepeta and I out. "What do you want, Lowb100d?" I asked. "It Is Nepeta… She Self- Injured Herself… Badly" and then I to where she told me Nepeta was. She was surrounded by Sollux, Terezi, Tavros, and to my surprise Vriska. "Hey CT, AG found AC and brought her to GA and ii" Sollux said. "TH3N WH3EN 1 H3ARD TH3 N3WS W3 C4M3 TOO" Terezi said standing next to Tavros. "I can see that… will she be alright" I asked looking to Sollux and he just gives me a look and said "It all depends on her… but I hope so" I then sat in a chair next to her bed and looked at them. "Why did I let this happen to her? It was e%tremely F001ish of me"

Nepeta's POV

'Did I do it? Did I end my life and my suffering? I hope I did no one will care'. There was a sudden burst of light as I opened my eyes and I saw the opposite of what I wanted, everyone gathered around me hopefully and watching me. "Why am I here" I ask and it's Karkat who answers "YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU ATTEMPTED TO KILL YOURSELF WITH CUTTING YOURSELF!" I look to him with my eyes narrowed and retort "I know that and I'm disappointed I didn't succ33d at my attempt". They all look at me horrified and I see Equius come up to me and let's just say they didn't expect to see him raise his hand and slap me across the face. He didn't say anything after that just stared at me. I kept my head to the side and refused to say anything, then it's him who brakes the silence "Why would you keep the truth from me, why didn't you tell me what happened? Why didn't you tell me what the highb100d did to you?" My eyes widened and I shook "W- who told y- you?" if I hadn't been in a bed and was standing I would've fallen onto my knees. "Himself" he replied and felt numb. "W- Where is he?" I asked and Terezi answered to that "H3'S 1N TH3 V3NTS 4ND W3 H4V3 NO KNOWL3DG3 OF WH3R3 3X4CTLY HOW3V3R 4ND UNFORT4N4T3LY 4 M3 VR1SK4 4ND 1 4R3 P4RTN3R3D TO F1ND H1M. H3 WON'T TOUCH YOU." After hearing Terezi say that I calmed a little then felt myself be lifted up and put on someone's back. "However, until they catch the highb100d and you are recovered from yourself you will be in my care in our shared hive" then I hear a few laughs. "He Will Not Go Anywhere Near Equius. Well At Least For A While" Kanaya tells me. "Why?" I ask and everyone looks at each other and Eridan, who is in trouble as well, answers "Wwell, you're moirrail broke his face wwith one punch and made a hole through the wwall with one light push". I then widen my eyes as I feel myself being carried away. "Equius did you really hit Gamzee?" I ask warily and he doesn't answer he just continues down the hallway to our shared hive.