You're Okay, Lexa

Summary: Lexa survives the bullet because in my world, she cannot die. And well, it's just clexa.

A/N: so...i can't deal with the fact that lexa's dead. and i've been super upset since the episode. i was writing out this post on tumblr about all the clexa things we're not going to get to see. ...which made me really upset. but then i kinda had an idea and thought i'd roll with it.

basically, its going to be a series of oneshots. and each one shot is just going to be a cute clexa piece.

everything is the same, other than the fact that lexa's alive in my fic. so this is the first one in the series and i thought the best place to start would be by waking lexa up.

Lexa woke up with a jolt, her eyes snapping open as she sat up straight and looked around. A sharp pain shot through her body, almost making her fall back on to the bed. Panic surging through her veins, Lexa's eyes darted around the room as she took a moment to place herself, realizing she was in Clarke's room. Suddenly, a hand touched her back, causing her head to snap to the side. A sudden wave of calm washed over her as her eyes met Clarke's calm blue ones and the panic began to slowly fade. But with the relief came a sense of confusion, a part of her couldn't fathom what – who – was next to her. She couldn't be here, beside Clarke, no, Lexa knew she didn't make it after the bullet went through her, she could feel herself drifting away as Clarke's lips touched her's one last time.

"Lexa?" Clarke asked, the concern and worry apparent in her voice when Lexa didn't say anything. "Hey," She tried again, trying to get through to her, because if anything, it seemed like Lexa couldn't even hear her.

Her arms seemed to have a mind of its own because before Lexa knew it, she was throwing her arms around Clarke, doing her best to keep herself sitting up. Clarke's arms came up around Lexa instantly, holding her close. She could feel Lexa's breath hot on her neck as she felt tears on her skin. Clarke held on, moving her hand up and down Lexa's back, trying to comfort her. "You're okay." She said into her hair, realizing for the first time she too was crying, but Clarke couldn't make herself care about it. She had been by Lexa's side since she had been shot, which was over 12 hours ago. Clarke had managed to stop the bleeding eventually but she wouldn't have been able to save Lexa if it weren't for her healers. Titus was ready to give up but Clarke wouldn't let it go, she had rushed out of the room for a moment, ordering the guards outside the door to fetch the healers. The look she had given them left them with no choice but to march off and do as they were told. Walking back to the bed, Clarke practically shoved Titus away, not wanting him to be anywhere near Lexa.

Clarke had sat by her side throughout the entire day, refusing to leave but being forced to when one of Lexa's general's marched into the room with a few guards right behind him, asking about what had happened – Clarke doesn't even remember his name. At first he seemed to think Clarke and Murphy had something to do with the Commander being shot. But fortunately, he was willing to listen to what they had to say and it only took a couple of minutes to convince him otherwise; the fact that Titus didn't protest to anything Clarke and Murphy were saying definitely helped. It was a relief when he had finally left, taking Titus with him and leaving Clarke to be with Lexa once again.

She had held her hand, pleading for her to wake up but Lexa didn't so much as stir. Murphy had left the room some time later, not bothering to tell Clarke where he was going and she didn't bother asking, just wanting to be alone with Lexa right now. Hours passed before Clarke had realized it had gotten dark and she left her place from next to Lexa to light a few of the candles. Walking back to the bed, she crawled under the fur blankets, scooting closer to Lexa. She took Lexa's hand in her's before burying her face in the crook of her neck, wanting to be as close to her as possible. Clarke had fallen asleep after a little while, exhausted from the events of the day. But she had woken up only a couple of hours later when Lexa had jerked awake.

Now, Clarke was doing her best to keep herself from breaking down because Lexa needed her to be strong right now. "You're okay." She repeated, trying to calm her down as she felt Lexa shudder against her.

They stayed like that for a few moments, Clarke not saying anything else as the sounds of Lexa's quiet sobs filled the room. "Clarke?" She finally asked as she pulled away, looking at the blonde questioningly, her voice sounding low and tired. "I don't…I don't unders-"

"You need to lie down." Clarke told her gently as she eased Lexa back onto the bed, not answering. Lexa didn't protest, lying back down but her eyes not leaving Clarke's for even a moment. "You're okay, Lexa." She told her, noticing the questioning look.

"No, but I-"

Clarke shook her head, stopping her midsentence, knowing what Lexa was about to say. "No. No, you didn't." She told her, moving to lie down next to her and propping herself on her elbow to look at Lexa. "You're fine."

Relief washed over her and Lexa let out a sigh as she closed her eyes, her body aching with every breath. "I thought I-"

"I know." Clarke almost whispered, bringing her free hand up and running her fingers through Lexa's hair, pushing it out of her face. "How are you feeling?" She asked quietly after a moment.

"You're still here." Lexa told her instead of replying as she opened her eyes. It seemed more like a sudden observation than anything else and Clarke thought Lexa probably didn't even hear her. "I thought you'd have left by now." She turned her head, looking back at Clarke, making her withdraw her hand. Lexa knew Clarke thought staying in Polis wasn't the smartest thing to do for either of them so she had thought Clarke would've left for Arkadia with Octavia by now.

"I couldn't." Clarke replied with a small sigh as she let her head fall on the pillow. "Not without knowing you were alright."

"You can't go now." Lexa told her, sounding worried. "If you're seen outside the blockade after dawn, or outside Poli-"

"Lexa," Clarke stopped her, squeezing her arm gently. "I'm not going anywhere." She reassured her with a small smile; right now, the last thing Clarke was wanted to do was leave her here alone.

"You're not?" Lexa almost sounded surprised.

"No, Octavia must've left by now. And it's too late for me to leave." She paused. "Besides, I don't want to." Lexa didn't say anything, only moved closer to Clarke and she placed her arm around Lexa's shoulder, "I thought I lost you." Clarke finally voiced what she had been thinking all day as Lexa's head came to rest on her chest. "And I…" She trailed off, fighting back tears as her fingers made soothing patterns on Lexa's shoulder. "I can't, Lexa. I can't lose you too."

"You won't." Lexa tried, sounding tired.

"I almost did." She said in response. "And it was my fault."

At that, Lexa lifted her head, looking up at Clarke. "No, Clarke that wasn't your fault."

She remained silent for a moment before speaking, "It doesn't matter now." Clarke replied and Lexa went back to her previous position. She knew Lexa would never agree, but Clarke knew it was her fault; that bullet was meant for her, not Lexa. And Lexa wouldn't have even been there if it weren't for her. She thought she had lost her chance with Lexa; it had taken a while for her to see that the Commander was truly sorry for what happened and she was doing everything she could to make up for it. And Clarke couldn't keep her feelings pushed down any longer, especially when she knew she had to leave Polis because there was a very good chance she wouldn't be returning. But then she'd kissed Lexa and for a moment, Clarke believed that maybe there was hope for them; that despite everything, maybe, just maybe, they could be happy. But as she stood watching Lexa bleed out, telling her about how her fight was over, Clarke had started to lose hope. "Ai hod yu in." She had almost lost her chance to tell her and the words escaped her lips before she could stop them.

Lexa seemed to go tense for a moment, unable to believe what she had just heard; unsure whether Clarke had really said what she thought she did. Maybe it was the pain that was impairing her hearing. "I love you too." She replied almost inaudibly after a moment, relaxing again.

Neither of them said anything after that, not needing to, just being there next to each other and knowing that the other was safe and alive was enough right now. After a little while, Clarke thought Lexa had fallen asleep again, her breathing beginning to even out, when suddenly, she spoke, "What happens to us now?"

Clarke sighed, taking a moment before answering. "We'll figure it out." She pressed a kiss to the top of Lexa's head. "But for now, I'm not leaving your side."

"Good."

A/N: so yeah, that was the first one. and i literally just wrote this. considering how i'm still a wreck from the last episode, this is not my best but i really wanted to put it up. so ummm, yeah, let me know what you think, both about this oneshot and my idea of a series of oneshots where clexa is alive and happy. or maybe shoot me an ask on tumblr, which is rip-commander at the moment.

thanks for reading :)