DISCLAIMER

i do not own the character of sekaiichi hatsukoi, shungiku nakamura does, i only 0wning the plot of the story

i really realize that this story are far from the real christmast event..but oh well..it just arround the spirit of christmast..

I do hope you enjoy the story and dont forget to leave me some reply
#grin

I do apologize if the way i use english language have some error in anywhere...
:P

Anyway..lets start the story...

Cast :
Onodera Ritsu

Takano Masamune

~December 3rd~

Tap..tap..tap..tap..
And here he is, the brown hair boy with his green emerald eyes wandering like a lost puppy. Sometimes, he just stop and biting his fingernail with a confusion look, and so with his eyes, searching every inch of the department store not sure what he is after when he get there. He just simply want buying some tools and matter to do his bussiness for this special month, but due to his confused and clumsiness, the simple thing turn out to be more serious.

"what do I do now? Cook some cake? But i've always end up burnt it and also my kitchen's tool. Then, what about knitting some sweater or muffler?! But..I don't have a skill for it..or maybe I should take some cooking class before the day!? And also some knit class?! Gah! What should I do..what should I do.."

This brunette boy keep mumbling the same thing over and over, he made a pout form at his pink little mouth, also he have frowning his eyelid, a sign he have thinking and arguing at himself about the issue he have.

"or maybe..I can call her for help?!"

And again, this little cute boy more deepening the frown of his eyelid, think harder about should or should not he needs her help. He realizing something that he can't done some issue like house work, and absolutely need help from someone. But then again, after all the time he rejecting her feeling and also after she realizing his big secret about why he keep rejecting her, he feel awkward toward her, especially when three month after that accident they haven't make contact.

"but..I do think if I make a contact at her and needing her help for my little issue while years ago I keep rejecting her feeling, I do feel like a worse people..sigh..then what should I do.."

This little green emerald eye boy then resting himself at a comfort place at the department store and ordering a hot chocolate to drink to. His eye looks so sad and frustation, wandering nowhere arround him and of course no single person he know and knowing him. He feel so hopeless, while in his mind he have several plan for the day he meant to for the surprise, starting for something simple and continuing to something include in embarrasing stuff to do.

He can feel that his face awkwardly become deep red from ear to ear, also he can feel his body slowly but sure warmed by his naughty idea, he give a nervous chuckle to hide his embarrasment from himself. Well, its not entirely originally his idea, it just come across at his mind when he overhear kisa and his lover on the phone months ago. Kisa just simply said that he willing to do something for the lovers birthday,and here he go, days after that eventhough not in the hell week but kisa really look so tired with cut in his hand everywhere, also with a little sweet burn smell from his hair. And this boy just wandering his friend really take his best to serve something special and he thought not something usual task kisa will do in the usual day. But then again, the do kisa do that day be proof that kisa love his lover so much until he willing spend most of his rest time to learn to cook or something similar activity in kitchen.

The idea just came across at his mind not only because he feel somehow rather similar with kisa, not be able to cook but also because the most time is always their lover who love to do lovely thing for them, while both ritsu and kisa seldom do the similar thing to their lover.

The little brown hair man chuckle at himself again..

'Lover?! He was my lover, but he isn't my lover.. He was simply just my boss at work and my neighbor..or..what...!? Is he really just simply as my boss and my neighbor or more than that?'

The said boy shaking his head for the thought he have. He realize that the person who have been his boss, his neighbor and his ex-senpai is more than that to him. Well accurately, he just realize it just a few months ago, when his rival also his lover's friend declare right in front of him that he loves his lover and not willing to let this green emerald eye boy to take over the man. Of course this issue really make this little boy worken up, part of himself seems too afraid to lose his precious man again like ten years ago, and that absolutely like some trigger warning for himself to realize how much important that man to him.

Yes, this browny hair boy having his heart, mind and soul to half accepting that he is in love once again with his boss ex-sempai. But not brave enaugh to admit it to the man face to face, or else his glass like heart still hard to accept that man who had broke his glass like heart into piece ten years ago. For this brunette green emerald eye boy, it took forever to re-collecting each piece of his glass like heart into the old shape like before, of course it wouldn't just can be like before shape, so under his almost new shape, he keep hiding his true self so in the process he willnt get hurt like before.

Then again, half of himself that he try to seal deep into his conciousness can't give up for the man's love so easily. And as for himself half side, that always give in to that man to whatever that man want to him. Not that this green emerald eyes hate or digust it, but he just feel so contrary between his new-self and his old-self. Mixing with the afraidness he have always have, it feels so complicated.

The said boy sighing again while drink his hot chocolate. He almost lost at his thought, he just stare to the empty seat across him in front of the same table of him, imagining what if he and his lover going out for a date, sit in the same table and drinking the same drink while holding hand secretly behind the table. What a perfect way to spend a day with the one you very dearly love and dearly care for, but then again this boy just can't let his selfishness out and ask that kind of thing with his man, just not yet, not when he himself still can't completely accept the man and say three magic word to his lover. This green emerald eye boy just letting out another sigh while his hand reaching his chest where he just find a slight pain when he can't make himself honest with his true feeling and stare again at the empty seat in front of him.

'Its not I can't honestly say that word towards him, I just..not yet fully trusting his feeling after those ten years worse relationship leaving a deep scar in my mind, heart and soul. Well, of course he said that all was fully just some stupid misunderstanding. But then again, he have any idea how bad that issue hurting me, up until now the scar still fresh in myself.

Or...I'm being selfish again with all of my argument about him?!'

That boy just frowning his eyelids more again, some slight of sadness come through in his eyes. He know that those ten years bad misunderstanding not only leaving a deep scar within him, but also leaving an unpleasant memories within his man too, so that's one of the reason why his man way too over protective towards him.

'Sigh, honestly what the hell am I do right now?! Confusing myself with the issue that simply will make me worn-out when it reach this month hell week, while I surely can't do some short of that house like work to do without any help'

That boy then staring again with a blank gaze, but now at his half full of his hot chocolate while inhaling the chocolate scent that relaxing himself later. The sweet scent of the chocolate indirectly make him remembering his man manly scent. Oh well, of course the word sweet and manly can't be stand in the same way of thinking, but for this young editor it isn't the matter. While they have sex, the kiss they do completely sedated him with his man sweet scent from his cigarette. Also the manly scent from his man's body whenever that man hug him, during sex, after sex, or whenever that young editor facing some hard issue due to his family issue, and that scent always make him relief, that scent always can be his special cure medicine and of course can make him forget for awhile about the hard issue he faced by himself each time.

'True enaugh, for the past one year I have been with him, he never do one thing that make me disappointed. Well if I make a separate ways of think and exclude all those head-hit whenever we at work, I do think he really care about me. Especially when okaasan get sick, I can trully see his worried expresion withim him. Or whenever I have worrying about the editor capability I have, he always reassured me by his way, and in weird way, his way to comfort me always make me feel warmth inside. He IS a kind person, but..something about him become so pushy and so bossy make me think to keep the word for my self. Well, shouldn't he just can read my feeling from my action toward him?! Why the hell he really want me to say that outloud?'

A longer space went along the last word he have in his mind, this space come across on his mind without permission. The way of look from this brunette man can't describe in a better way, the way he look seems so complicated. In one way sometimes he really want to make his man know that he desperately fall in love with him, but in anoter way, everytime the said boy come closer to his lover possibly candidate, his little pink lips and his warmth wet mouth seems can't get into the right order. His brain keep refuse to make the word hidden in his heart in right order, instead giving his man a right word, his brain prefer to give that man a loud scream of annoying.

'Is it really important for him to me to say that word?
Is..my action isn't enaugh to expressing the right thing inside my heart?
...'

Another long pause come across in the brunette mind. Well, this little emerald eyes boy admit it to himself, whether he never show an affection toward his possibly love, he always shoves the man whenever the man want to come closer near him, if its just only for showing his affection towards the said man or its just only to give his attention towards the newbie editor, the brunette man always running away himself from all of his man do.

'Takano san...I...khhh...I realize all of my action is very rude towards you, and I know that this way of my attitude really hurting your heart...but..but despite of all of this, honestly I...I...'

The brunette man's mind went away with his true feeling of his heart. His gaze just went blank as soon as his hot chocolate entering his thirsty mouth and he enjoying the sweet taste of his chocolate. Indeed, this green emerald eye man still confusing to any of his live, expecially with his love live so does what he did say to his ex-fiancee, kohinata an.

His gaze jus wandering now and then, and of course he is not realize that he have two eyes at him. Two eyes from two different people who know him well, and of course, that two people aiming to greeting this cute brunette man, but unfortunately, one of them is fast than the other.

"ri.."
"RI-CHAN"

~To Be Continue~