This is an idea that occurred to me in a fevered explosion of boredom. It is full of insanity, confusion, and amusement. And Loopholes.
Clan Law
Because I Can!
Bare feet padded softly through the grass, no noise or footprint to betray their passage. Shinobi, however, are used to following a target that leaves no tail. Their skills sharpened by the fact that their target had stolen something very valuable to their village.
"Bloody hell, why do I need to sneak out of the damn village. All the proper paperwork was filed, clan law ensures the legality, nobody seemed to give a damn, adoption paper were notarized, and still, I have to sneak out in the dead of night, just to be chased by the thrice damned ANBU."
A kunai whistled out of the darkness, slamming into the back of the barefooted shinobi. He sucked a breath through clenched teeth, groaning as he pulled the knife out and smelled the blade. 'Poison. Bah, I'll be dizzy for a while, but my blood will take care of anything.' His blood hit the grass, hissing as it burned into the ground. 'Well, now they have a trail to follow.'
The now wounded shinobi stopped on the spot, and gingerly cradling the small bundle he carried,. The ANBU materialized out of the shadows, and one with a wolf mask stepped forward. "Maou Tanzo, you are under arrest by order of the Hokage, for the attempted kidnapping of Naruto Uzumaki. Surrender the child and you will be released peacefully."
"Screw you Kakashi. I'm not kidnapping anyone. He's legally a part of my clan now. Everything is in order, all that's left is the official adoption ceremony and blood joining to truly make him a Tanzo. Clan Law is binding, even the Hokage cannot override it."
Kakashi shook his head, "Don't make this an international incident, give us the kid."
"No. Screw you. By Clan Law, as set down before the villages were established, by the Elder Clans, the Tanzo among them, I am entitled to adopt Naruto into my clan. He was an orphan, unwanted, and abused. "
"*sigh* Hokage-sama knew you had your angles covered. " Kakashi produced a scroll from his belt, and he tossed it to Maou, who caught it easily. Behind his mask, Kakashi smirked at Maou's changing expression as he read the scroll.
"Son of a bitch…By the rule of adoption Naruto Uzumaki is now a member of the Tanzo clan, but under the rule of conscription…Naruto Uzumaki, since the day of his birth, is called to serve as a shinobi in the Sarutobi clan and the Senju clan, and all that they represent, namely Konohagakure. Removing Naruto Uzumaki against the will of the Sarutobi and Senju clans is tantamount to a declaration of war. Maou Tanzo is however welcome to enact the right of establishment and form a branch of the Tanzo clan in Konohagakure, where he will be granted full citizenship and given a generous plot of land upon which to construct a clan compound."
"So either way. Come with us please, Maou Tanzo."
"For the record, I hate you, your Hokage, and your entire village."
Kakashi's smirk only grew behind his mask, "Now, now. Don't say that, you're one of us now, aren't you?"
"Shove it, Cyclops."
8 Years Later
Naruto sat with his head on his arms, staring vacantly at the board as Iruka droned on about the history of Konoha. The flat gold disks of his eyes showing nothing but a bored mirth, his enlarged canines poking out of his mouth as he scowled, his dirty blonde hair long and shaggy. He yawned, startling several of his classmates as his sharp teeth caught the light and gleamed wickedly.
He smirked, and looked over the girls in his class. His adoptive father made no secret of the fact that he was quite the…. fan of the female form. He had passed this onto Naruto, who had long since acquired his adoptive father's patented Ero-Vision.
The Hyuuga girl was a bit to quiet for his tastes, but according to Maou, the quiet ones were the ones who were the freakiest, she was already showing the telltale signs of a curvaceous figure, and Naruto wasn't fool enough to not notice the glances she always shot him. One day, on a whim, he wrote on his stomach a simple phrase, "Like what you see Hinata-chan?" The girl had walked around with a beet red face for the rest of the day. Clearly, she did indeed like what she saw.
The Yamanaka girl was going to grow up to be drop dead gorgeous, and like most of the other girls in the class, were firmly enamored with him. Although they were a bit more vocal about it than the Hyuuga girl. The fanclub that once followed Sasuke's every move now followed his, and unlike the sullen Uchiha, who greeted the adoration with moody indifference, Naruto greeted it with cocky acceptance. The Uchiha clearly mourned the loss of his fans, as indicated by the furious looks he occasionally gave to Naruto.
One month earlier, Naruto, fed up with the fawning attention that the girls pushed upon the uncaring Uchiha, invoked Clan Law, namely the Right of Ownership. Over such a petty thing, invoking Clan Law was almost ridiculous, but the Uchiha could not decline without losing face. The challenge was to be a fight to first blood, with the winner becoming the "owner" of the fanclub. Naruto proceeded to throw, at high velocity, an orange. The orange impacted the Last Uchiha in the face, bloodying his nose. With a triumphant laugh, Naruto picked up his orange, returned to his desk, and ate his snack. Thus Naruto acquired a small army of loyal fangirls. They did his grocery shopping, and even picked up his laundry. All for a bit of attention from the object of their affection.
Needless to say, Maou approved of his adoptive son's use of Clan Law.
Naruto looked down at his right hand, and the glove that he wore. Like Maou, Naruto had engraved the symbol of Konoha on the metal backhand plates of his gloves, opting for that instead of a traditional headband. He had passed with flying colors, of course, he had additional training at home. Maou wasn't strict in anything, aside from training. He had drilled into him the traditional techniques of the Tanzo clan, from their advanced chakra nature, and incredibly potent chakra, to their coveted crafting techniques and ancient sword style. Instinctively, his hand came to rest on the hilt of his katana. Given to him by Maou the day before, as a reward for graduating, Maou had hinted that the blade had a unique and powerful ability.
"Naruto Uzumaki, Shino Aburame, Ami Hanzi. Your Jonin sensei is Tonbo Tobitake."
Review! Vote for pairings, drop suggestions, drop predictions about the plot, speculations about the abilities that Naruto has as a member of the Tanzo Clan, and the power of his shiny sword.