Title: White Chrysanthemums
Words: 543
Warnings: Mild angst.
Notes: This was written for blushinglily (of AO3), whose kind words inspired me to the point of needing to write this. It's also a direct sequel to Sub Rosa.
• • • • • • • •
Akane is confused when Mikaela asks to let him do her hair one mild afternoon, but she agrees anyway. She's sitting on a stool in his dormitory, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. It all feels oddly nostalgic: Mika's focused expression, his fingers gently carding through her hair as he plaits it. It feels like a long time since he's last done this. They must have been in middle school – Akane remembers, because it was when they went to her mother's funeral.
" – I'm sorry."
"Eh?" That pulls her right out of her reverie. "What are you sorry for?" She knows why he's sorry when she takes one look at his face, but a part of her wonders if he's apologizing for pulling on her hair.
"For…" She knows by the sombre tone that that's not what he means.
"No," Akane interrupts swiftly. She thinks she sounded too harsh, so she lifts one of her hands to gently lay upon Mikaela's fingers comfortingly. "Don't be sorry, Mika. I'm just happy that you're happy, okay?" The brunette makes an effort to meet his eyes in the mirror, and holds his gaze.
Mika's other hand leaves her hair to cup her fingers, and Akane scolds her heart as it skips a beat. This is not for you. He is not for you.
"I'm – I'm grateful for that, Akane-chan. I really am." He looks away from her.
She wishes he didn't sound so mournful: that breaks her heart more than anything. The idea that her sadness could lessen his happiness. Akane has far too much power over him – over anyone. Emotions are a scary thing.
"But I shouldn't have told you like that. I should have realized…" It takes her a second to realize that Mikaela is talking about the "secret".
She trills a vibrant laugh that is just as much to comfort Mikaela as it is to distract her. "Realized? How? You're being silly." She would poke at his shoulder playfully, if she could; instead, she manages a soft giggle. "I never told you; how could you have known?" She doesn't say that she should have realized that her friend's affections lay elsewhere. "Don't worry about it. Nothing has changed." That is a lie (everything has changed), but not for anyone except Mikaela, Yuuichirou, and Akane, so really, it's insignificant compared to the rest of the world.
• • • •
It's not until she's left, her hair newly braided and thrown over her shoulder, that Akane supposes that this is a different kind of death. A death of old feelings, and the start of a new beginning. She decides that the dark, muted colours she is wearing are too dull for her new conviction, so she returns to her dorm and changes into an outfit of white, like the chrysanthemums that seemed to be everywhere after her mother's death. Perhaps white, then, is not so sad after all. Isn't it the amalgamation of all the colours in the world? Is it not, then, a rainbow hidden in plain sight?
She thinks a rainbow is perfect to describe the future. Instead of being sad about it, she'll look toward it with an open heart and wish for a brighter tomorrow: as bright as the petal of a flower.