This is sort of a companion piece / alternate version of my drabble series Catch the Falling Sky. It's not necessary to read it before reading this, although some things might be a lot easier to understand.
Basically, in that story, Jacob does not run away at the end of Eclipse, and tries to be friends with Bella, until he finally sends her away, closing the garage, selling the Rabbit and the bikes, erasing all memories he has of Bella.
In the drabble series, he and Bella reunite in the end, but while writing, the character of Olivia grew so close to me, that she needed to have her chance with Jacob. That is why I wrote this.
This is also dedicated to mellyb6, because she supported this one shot so much.
Kaleidoscope Eyes
Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties.
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, The Beatles
2006
.:August:.
Jacob never really noticed the girl sitting in front of him in English class before. But suddenly, his heart and eyes feel free.
Her name is Olivia, he knows that much. She talks a lot in class, but he never used to listen before. Now that he does, now that he pays attention, he notices the soft sound of her voice, almost as eerie as the tribal songs his mother used to sing to him as a child.
Jacob notices how she tilts her head when the teacher asks a question, the hesitant raise of her arm. There is always a sound that reminds him of Christmas trees when she lifts her arm, the bracelet around her wrists dangling against her skin.
Instead of staring at his desk or the wall, Jacob has found a new way to occupy his time during class. Olivia.
After a week, he knows she always keeps her hair down, never pulls it back or braids it. During a movie, she taps her left foot against her right ankle, always the same rhythm, like she is singing a secret song in her head.
.:.:.
"Olivia?" Jacob calls after her as she is about to rush out of the classroom. He still has not put his books back into his bag, hands hanging limply by his side. With a jerk of his knee, he orders Embry away and out of the classroom, a complaining Quil right behind him.
There is a lot of rushing and packing, the teacher still talking to Mia who is sitting in the first row.
Olivia turns around and looks at Jacob with flushed cheeks, her eyes widened just a tiny bit in surprise.
"Yes?" she asks, voice quiet as she steps a bit closer to him, the table between them.
He swallows. Everything inside of him flutters with nervous excitement, and he just stares at her, the dark raven-colour of her hair, framing her face, the blush hidden below russet skin, violet-coloured and petal-shaped earrings half-hidden behind strands of her hair.
"I was wondering if… Maybe you would… Only if you want to, of course," he stutters, all strength he proves in the woods at night evaporated – leaving him only a nervous teenager inside a classroom, "I mean, you don't have to say yes, but I was wondering if-"
"Jacob?"
"Hmm?"
"I kinda have to get something out of my car before next class, so just… say what you want to say," Olivia tells him with another tilt of her head, and Jacob wonders what she is thinking about at this precise moment.
"I was wondering if you would like to go out or something? The diner that opened looks good."
The few seconds that pass seem to stretch on for decades, and Jacob curses himself for not just dragging himself back out of the classroom. Quil and Embry would never stop.
And then he hears his new favorite word.
"Sure."
"Hmm?" he asks, mentally slapping himself for the dumb question. What was so difficult to understand about that single word?
"I'd like to go out. Tomorrow night at eight?"
Jacob notices the faint dimples on Olivia's cheeks as she smiles at him, the subtle shine on her lips. Maybe it's one of those lip sticks, maybe it's saliva. All he knows is that it looks so pretty on her.
"Eight sounds great. Do you… Should I pick you up?"
"Oh, no, that's fine, thanks."
"Okay."
"Okay."
They look at each other for a second, and then they notice the classroom is empty except for them and their teacher, who keeps throwing stolen glances at them over the papers in her hand.
"I gotta go. See you tomorrow," Olivia says, still smiling, and Jacob has no time to respond before she is out of the classroom.
.:.:.
"Dude, did you ask Olivia Foster out?"
"Did she say yes?"
"Didn't know you liked her, man."
"Do you have condoms?"
"Quil, shut up, let him talk."
"What? You can't just assume she has them. He should be prepared."
"We're talking about Jake, not Paul, you idiot. Do you really think he's gonna get laid anytime soon?"
"Hello guys? I'm standing right next to you. I can hear you talking about me just fine."
"Yeah, so, did she say yes?"
"Yes."
"Awesome, so-"
"And do you have condoms?"
"Quil!"
.:.:.
Olivia talks a lot, but never too much. She asks questions, but never too personal. During the entire two hours they sit in the new diner, she keeps her head tilted, fingers nervously playing with her fork or straw. The tip of her tongue crazes around her lips almost constantly, probably checking for smears of tomato sauce.
Jacob's mind is occupied with nothing but her for a while, and he is thankful for the distraction.
Her hair is pitch-black, eyes not chocolate but coffee-brown. She giggles from time to time, and swallows hard when she accidentally hits his shin while uncrossing her legs.
Jacob insists on paying, because now that she is smiling brightly and eating her Tiramisu, he knows he wants this to be a real first date. He has to promise to let her buy him an ice cream next week-end, though. He feels unfamiliar flutters in his chest thinking about a second date. They won't cease, and he decides he wants them to stay.
When they stand by the driver's door of her car, it starts to drizzle. Securing a strand of her dark hair behind her ear – revealing another pair of violet-coloured earrings, leaf-shaped this time, Olivia mumbles something about favorite weather, and Jacob can not help himself.
With his heart beating the pace a sixteen-year-old boy's heart should in a moment like this, the wolf purring inside his chest calmly, he leans in and presses his lips against Olivia's cheek for the briefest moment.
He can hear her heartbeat flutter for a second, feels her shiver beneath his chaste touch. The soft feel of her skin, the movement of muscle beneath his lips as hers form another smile – it all feels like honey running through his veins, warming him from the inside out.
"Good night," he whispers, rewarded with another shiver as his warm breath fans across her skin.
"Good night," is Olivia's breathless response, and she smiles at him brightly, the moonlight and the stars reflecting in her dark eyes.
.:.:.
He can still taste the sticky sweetness, the cold marble of the leech's skin in his mouth, mingling with the taste of his vomit. Billy keeps calling out his name from the other side of the door, asking questions, wanting reassurance.
But Jacob just rushes through the phone book, page for page slipping through his numb fingers. It's starting to get dark outside, the drowsy light fogging his mind as he skims through all the names starting with F.
His fingers dial the numbers in such a haste, he ends up with his neighbour on the other line first, his apology short-cut.
And then, finally, he hears what he needs so much right now. A human voice. Innocent. Oblivious. Caring.
"Olivia Foster."
"Hey, it's Jacob. Sorry I'm calling so late."
"It's okay, it's not that late. Are you alright? You sound a little strange."
"It's okay," he mumbles, rummaging through his drawer for something to wear, "Do you have time? Dinner maybe?"
"Sure," Olivia answers hesitantly, and Jacob is already pulling the jeans up his legs, "Will you stop by? I can drive us both to the diner. You don't have to walk again."
"Sounds good. Be there in a few." The line goes dead.
.:.:.
As soon as he sees her, all thoughts of vampires and werewolves and the girl who decided to rather die than stay with him vanish.
Olivia smiles at him, still busy putting on her jacket as they walk to her car, and she does not ask him once more if he feels okay. Jacob is sure he looks sick, exhausted, bad. But she does not pressure him, talks about some movie called Little Miss Sunshine she saw with a friend in Port Angeles yesterday.
They both decide they are not hungry, so they order milkshakes instead, and just as Olivia asks him about his sisters, who she remembers seeing on the beach when she was little, Jacob reaches his hand across the table and rests it above hers.
For a splint second, she stops talking, eyes flickering downwards, but then she turns her hand, intertwining their fingers, and continues talking.
He tells her more than he thought he would to someone he barely knows. But somehow, he feels like he knows this girl enough. Like she deserves his answers.
But the wolf scratches against his chest from the inside, and when Olivia's calf brushes against his leg as she scoots closer to the table, he feels fire flaming inside of him.
Half of his milkshake is still left, but he holds Olivia's hand tighter, asking her if she wants to leave.
He can see her swallow, but she nods, returning the grasp of his hand, her fingertips brushing gently along the lines of his palm.
.:.:.
Jacob does not quite remember how they ended up in this position. Car parked by the side of the road, his back pressed against the backseat, jeans pulled down to his knees, Olivia in his lap.
Her lips are so incredibly soft, brushing and nipping at his neck, her fingers digging deep into his shoulders as his hands roam over her bare stomach and ribcage, cupping her breasts in his palms, kneading, thumb brushing over her nipples, feeling them harden quickly beneath his touch.
Her sighs and moans, soft whispers of breath, his name like a chant, fill the small space. Slowly, his fingers draw up her spine, pulling her closer, and when her teeth nip at his earlobe, he drops the plastic wrapper between them, his entire body shivering.
"Fuck," he curses under his breath, the wolf and the feeling of Olivia's naked body against his urging him on, but the teenage boy inside of him needing to make this right. As right as he can in the backseat of a car by the side of the road.
"It's okay," Olivia whispers into his ear, breath fanning damply across his skin, "I got this."
Her hand drops between them, and when he feels her palm brush against his shaft, he groans, burring his face in he crook of her neck.
It all happens so fast and yet too slow, but then he feels her heat wrap around him, and only her cry of pain, her fingernails digging even deeper into his skin, stop him from thrusting his hips closer and harder towards the tight warmth.
"Jacob," she sighs against his neck, tears soaking his shirt. He wraps his arms around her, fingers running through her hair.
It is the best feeling in the world, almost too good to be true, and when Olivia's tears finally cease, and she starts to move her hips against him, he swears that this can only be right.
Her sighs, his groans, sweaty hands roaming over skin, hips moving rapidly and without rhythm, fingers digging into skin. It is over much too quickly, but when he feels her lips press against his pulse point, everything seems to fall into place.
It should have happened differently, without the wolf urging him on, not out of despair. But Jacob knows that it is his human self pressing his lips softly against Olivia's, brushing his thumb over her cheek. And that is all that really counts.
.:September:.
Jacob is aware that Olivia knows part of his heart still belongs to someone else. But that girl is married now, gone. Out of his life. Forever.
And with every soft kiss Olivia gives him, every time she holds his hand, turns around in class to smile at him, rests her hand on his thigh during lunch break, pulls him into the ocean for a swim, Jacob feels bits and pieces of his heart come back to him. To her.
She asks him about the girl who broke his heart once, naked beneath him, damp breath against his collarbone. But he just says "Don't worry" and she never asks again.
He wants to forgive and forget. Olivia seems to understand that somehow.
It is all so easy, so light, all of a sudden. Jacob feels like he missed out on so much while clinging to the girl who didn't want to be saved.
He takes Olivia to cinema and can hold her hand, he can kiss her whenever he wants to, she comes along to watch movies at Quil's place.
When she spends the night, he feels like he kisses every inch of her skin. The scar on her right knee, the freckle under her left breast, shaped like a maple leaf, the curve of her eyebrows, her hairline, her earlobe, her wrists. Everything.
She does the same for him, touching him in places that make it hard for him not to whimper. The wolf is quieter these days, satisfied.
But what Jacob will not miss for anything in the world is holding Olivia in his arms when she is asleep, breathing evenly, fingers twitching nervously now and again. He hold her hands tightly then, brushing his fingers over her skin, kissing the top of her head.
He never felt more peace in his life.
.:.:.
There is still a secret he has to keep, lies he has to come up with against his will. But he has to phase less and less, and he knows that one day soon, he will be able to share his secret with Olivia.
Part of him wants to keep it a secret forever, to keep her safe and oblivious from the world filled with monsters and magic. She does not belong into that world. Should not have to worry about it.
But it is a part of him, and she already wins over his stolen, shattered heart.
2007
.:January:.
First Beach is dark except for the moonlight illuminating the sky, now that the fireworks have ceased and early morning dawns.
They sit on a blanket, Olivia's head tucked underneath Jacob's chin, his arms wrapped around her to keep her warm.
With careful words, he whispers the myths into her ear, explains what is true and what is not. Reveals his secret.
Her eyes are wide with fear and she stumbles backwards when he phases in front of her. But he makes a soft noise and then she tilts her head again, seeing the wolf's eyes mirror his. When she steps closer, hand hesitantly burying in his fur, he nuzzles his nose against her stomach.
She giggles quietly.
"I considered a lot. But not this."
.:March:.
"Jacob," Olivia sighs, feathering kisses along his collarbone, their fingers intertwined.
He sighs, out of breath, sleepy, keeping her naked body close to his.
"I love you."
She smiles at him gently, her dark lashes framing her tired eyes. He leans down to kiss the tip of her nose, foreheads pressed together.
2008
.:January:.
"Happy birthday, Jacob."
Jacob feels Olivia's smiling lips against his own waking him even before he hears her whisper, and the familiar warmth that runs through his veins feels stronger than ever.
"I love you, Livie," he whispers for the first time, keeping his eyes closed as he kisses her smiling lips, drowning her surprised sigh.
.:June:.
"That was my foot," Olivia mumbles beneath her breath, her cheek resting against Jacob's chest.
"Sorry," he whispers against the top of her head, holding her hand a bit tighter, "I told you I can't dance."
"You knew about Prom for a long time, Jacob. You could have practised," Olivia sighs into his dress shirt, not really mad at him, inhaling his scent mingled with the freshly washed fabric of the shirt.
"Have I told you that you look beautiful?"
His voice is still a whisper, and he can feel Olivia giggle against him. His hand roams over the back of her violet dress, the soft fabric not nearly as soft as the skin beneath.
"You did. Fifteen times. And if you say it one more time, you're not going to get laid tonight."
Both of them burst out laughing, earning more or less angry looks from the couples dancing around them.
"What do you say about leaving now, so I'm not tempted to say it again?"
.:.:.
"Jesus Christ," he groans as she wraps her fingers around him, the friction almost too much after looking at her and thinking about this for four hours.
They are back in the backseat of her car, although it has become more or less their car over time.
Olivia is grinding herself against his leg in rhythm with her hands, dress bunched up at her waist, kissing his neck, sighing his name.
It's all rushed and heated and passionate and he is inside her quicker than usual, no time for anything else, the two of them clinging to each other, half-dressed and it is so much like their first time that when they come together, they look deeply into each other's eyes silently for a minute, catching their breaths.
The kiss is soft again, just a brush of skin, tender. Saying more than any words could ever do.
2010
.:April:.
"I did not look at her like that!"
"You did. Like a primitive. She had her boobs all over your face and you just stared. I was waiting for you to start drooling."
"Livie, come-"
"Don't call me that!"
"Fine, Olivia. I'm sorry, okay? I looked, yes. Because she had her boobs all over my face. Where else was I supposed to look? I'm a guy. Not going to apologize for that."
"Oh, shut up, Jacob! Just shut up."
.:.:.
He hears the door of his room open slowly, light steps on the carpet floor, and then she sits down on the side of his bed, her breath warm against his ear.
"Jacob?" she whispers, careful not to wake his roommate Greg, who is probably in a caffeine-induced coma by now anyway.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she murmurs, kissing his lips softly, and he smiles, cradling her against him.
"I'm sorry I stared at her boobs."
They fall asleep together, holding hands.
2013
.:June:.
"What about green?"
"What? If you want to see green, you can just look out of the window."
"Okay, no green, either. Is there any colour you like?"
Jacob walks around the empty room, fingers drawing invisible lines on the still white wooden panels on the walls.
"Can't we just keep them white? Put up some pictures or something?"
"No, we can't, Jacob. This is our home and I want it to be cozy. And white is not cozy."
He can see the fury burning behind her innocent eyes, the red spot on her temple forming slowly, and knows best not to contradict her if he wants to avoid a fight.
"Okay, okay. But no green. And no red. You know what the guys would say. And I'd much appreciate it if it weren't pink, either."
"Does that mean I can pick?" Olivia's eyes suddenly shine with excitement, and Jacob chuckles.
"Yep. I don't really care, as long as you like it in here."
"I love you," she squeals, throwing herself at him, lips urgent against his.
.:.:.
"What the hell?"
Jacob almost falls off the ladder as Olivia's voice shrills though their new small house, and he rushes into the direction of her voice.
"What's wrong?"
She stand in the middle of their bathroom, paper bags filled with food in her hands, staring at the window.
"What is this?"
Jacob follows her gaze, feeling pride swell inside his chest as he sees the perfectly straight curtains, which he spent most of his morning putting up.
"I thought I might as well get this done today."
"Jacob," Olivia sighs, turning to look at him, "don't you think they are a bit long?"
"I thought so, yes, cause they're halfway inside the bathtub and all. But I figured it's supposed to be like that."
A moment of silence, then Olivia drops the paper bags in her hands, fruit, bread, packets, everything rolling across the bathroom floor, while she bursts out laughing.
By the time she hears Jacob's confused "What's going on?" she is holding her stomach.
"Those," she starts, voice still interrupted by burst of laughter, "were supposed to go into the living room."
"Oh…"
.:August:.
Jacob lies on his back nervously, heart beating a bit too fast, palms a bit too sweaty.
"What do you think about Leah?" Olivia's voice calls from the bathroom, muffled by the toothbrush, "I think she's making a huge mistake moving to Australia. She just met the guy. She should wait. Go over there for a few weeks, see how things are going. But not move there already."
"Hmm," Jacob replies, biting his lip, turning onto his side so he is facing the door.
"I mean, it's such a huge step, and it's so far away," Olivia continues, closing the bedroom door behind her as she walks over to the bed, tying her braid with a violet tie (Jacob learned pretty quickly after getting to know that the only time she ever does something to her hair is at night).
"You're right," he agrees, watching her sit down on the bed, taking a sip of water before slipping beneath the blanket.
"I would talk to her, but I guess that's useless."
"Probably."
Heart still beating like the first time he got to kiss her bare breasts, Jacob leans over to brush a kiss against her lips.
"Good night," he whispers, smiling when she turns her head to capture his lips again.
"Night."
He lies back on his side of the bed, inhaling deeply as Olivia turns over to switch off the light.
"What- Oh," she gasps, as the greenish light illuminates the small room.
Jacob turns his head to look at her, eyes wide open, lips parted, head tilted, staring at the letters shining from the ceiling.
MARRY ME
"Please?" Jacob whispers, scooting closer, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better look at her face.
He can see the tears in her eyes, the corners of her lips twitching as the familiar blush tints her cheeks.
"I love you, Livie."
Her eyes leave the gleaming letters at the ceiling, focusing on his face above hers instead.
"I love you, too," she whispers, voice heavy with a choked sob, and a stray tear spills over, running down the side of her face and onto the pillow.
Jacob traces its trail with the tip of his nose, feeling her shiver underneath his touch.
"Is that a yes?" he murmurs against her skin, eyes open.
"Yes," she whispers slowly, and he lifts his head to see her smiling at him with more happy tears in her eyes, "Yes."
.:December:.
"I can't close the garage over Christmas, Olivia. I just can't. We need the money," he explains for the hundredth time that day, dinner long forgotten and cold on the table.
"I know we need the money," Olivia sighs, leaning against the counter, "I just wanted to spend Christmas with you and not just with your family."
Jacob steps over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her against his chest.
"I know, Livie. I know, and I'm sorry."
She is crying in his arms, hands fisting his shirt, tears soaking the fabric. Always lost with tears, Jacob gently pulls her with him until she sits in his lap on the couch, running his hand up and down her back, through her hair, across her arms.
"Sshh," he tries to comfort her, wiping the tears from her cheek, "It'll be okay, I promise. Next year we'll be fine and we'll spend Christmas together again."
"No, it won't. It won't be okay," Olivia sobs against him.
"Of course it will. We're just having some money problems, that's normal. We'll get over it. And I promise, one day I'll take you on vacation over Christmas. Just like you want."
"No, you won't," she sobs again, voice angrier this time.
"What are you talking about? What's wrong?" he asks, worried now. He has seen her angry before, but never this pessimistic about the future.
She does not answer him, just grips his shirt tighter.
"Hey, look at me, Livie," he says, lifting her chin to see her tear-stained face, "What's wrong?"
Big, tear-filled eyes shine at him.
"I'm pregnant."
2014
.:February:.
The day they get married, it drizzles.
.:May:.
"How are my favorite girls?" Jacob asks as he enters the living room, Olivia on the couch, music playing softly from the radio.
"She's dancing, like usual," Olivia groans, and Jacob kneels down in front of her, pulling the shirt up to kiss his wife's bare stomach.
"Daddy missed you today," he mumbles, feeling his daughter move beneath him.
He smiles, rising a bit to kiss Olivia. "Missed you, too," he whispers, securing a strand of hair behind her ear.
.:June:.
"Hey, little dancer," Jacob whispers with tears in his eyes as the nurse rests his daughter in his arms. Everything about her is so tiny he is afraid of breaking her.
He always had an open heart, could love pretty much everyone. But not even he has ever known a kind of love remotely close to what he feels now, heart swelling with the beauty of the moment.
.:.:.
"I love you so much," he whispers, kissing Olivia, her tired eyes falling close. Their families have left, their daughter asleep, and they finally have a moment for themselves.
"Love you, too."
"She's perfect."
"I know, right?"
All russet skin, and tiny hands, and black hair and little nose. She is the only kind of perfection that exists. He looks at her peaceful, sleeping face, fingertip brushing against her tiny cheek.
"Good night, Rima."
2019
.:July:.
Looking at his son and daughter playing by the edge of the water, Jacob wraps his arms tighter around Olivia, kissing the top of her head. She is asleep in his arms, tired, hand resting on her growing belly, breathing evenly in the soft wind of the ocean.
It is in moments like these that Jacob knows for sure he never really lost anything.
Sometimes, he still thinks of brown hair and chocolate-coloured eyes and pale skin. Of the girl he once loved. He lost all that back then.
But he has gained so much more.
.:the end:.
Meaning of the name Rima: Rima was an elusive maiden of the South American rain forest who spoke the language of animals and birds
For pictures which inspired this story, please check my profile.