Notes on the writing. Deadpool's other voices appear in (brackets) and [square brackets] and feature throughout. Deadpool sees them in his mind like yellow speech boxes. Told from the POV of Peter.
Scene: Peter is at his desk, slouched with tired eyes typing a paper that's due fairly soon. He picks up a book [um, can we at least START OFF honest?] (Yeah c'mon, let's not paint Petey out to be a saint here because that is faaaar from true) *sigh* Peter is playing minecraft [that's right, he's a biiigggg nerd] (he should try being cool like me). YOOP. Peter's phone lit up. It was a text from Wade - what's black and red and great in bed? Peter smiled. BLIP. Deadpool teleported onto the fire escape. He watched Peter for a while before climbing through the window. "So noone told you life was gonna be this waaayyyy" Deadpool faux popped his pistol five times and grinned broadly. "Hey Spiderbutt. You see what I did there?" Peter looked up, bleary eyed. Deadpool's stark red and black suit stood out against the exposed brick wall. Wade removed his mask and breathed out sharply. He forced a smile and put his pistol back. "Heyyy" Peter went in for a hug. Wade leant over peter's shoulder and grabbed his butt. "It's still there. Don't worry" Peter laughed "so what's up?" Wade crossed the room and sat cross legged on the floor in the dim light.
Peter looked down at what looked like an origami lily "It's a fortune teller" Wade told him earnestly [snigger]. He wore it on his index fingers and thumbs and suddenly Peter realised. "Oh God, those things that little girls play with at recess!?" Peter asked. "Little girls and deadly mercenaries" came the answer. Peter stared intently at the elder man as he manoevered his creation in his hands and smiled. He has not yet worked out if he would ever learn to second guess his boyfriend (we're going with boyfriend are we?) [Lover?] (*personal gigolo) or figure him out at all for that matter. He was ok with this. Peter realised he has been staring at Wade a little too long, "so how does this thing work?" He asked quickly. Wade inhaled, "pick a colour" "Ok.." Peter thought about his options; blue, orange, green or red. Red. Well of course. Does he expect me to pick red? (Could be a RED HERRING) [oh!] (High five, bro!) [How many times!? We can't high five we are yellow boxes!] (...internal five!?) He stroked his chin, then immediately wondered why he was giving this stupid thing any thought at all. But the fact remained that he, once again, couldn't figure out what Wade's plan was here. Screw it, "red" said Peter. Wade folded his hands back and forth and said a letter with each movement, "R, E, D ok, now pick a number." Under the folds of paper was a series of numbers scrawled in, of course, crayon. "8" Peter said decisively this time. Wade nodded and began folding his hands back and forth eight times then gestured to the paper, "your destiny lies within my Spidery one" he tilted his head and forced an overbite while also going cross eyed (sexy), "I'll let you read it" he said waving a katana laxidaisically at his side. Peter opened the flap, it read 'BJ'. [BOOM] "Oh for Christ sake!" he exclaimed, falling over sideways with a laugh. He sat back up. Wade had an expectant look on his face which Peter ignored. "Is it cheating if I look at the others?" Wade was now led in Peter's armchair, legs a gimbo, aiming his gun at a lamp. "Do it" he said, nonchalant. Something's up with him today, Peter thought. He opened the fortune teller out and read to himself. "...they ALL say BJ, you jerk" The Merck smirked [steady, Dr Suess]
"Wait, one says MJ" Deadpool turned his head, "yeah - so for that one I dress as MJ.. I got the wig right here" (he does). Wade paused and suddenly went into the bathroom. Here it is again, Peter thought. Wade makes these jokes but he's got genuine jealousy issues. Peter always let moments this slide, he knew well of his boyfriend's insecurities. (our what?) [Our problems!? Dude, we have three voices for one]. Still, Peter should have more to worry about - he's just a bi kid in New york, and he wasn't even sure if he was even that. Wade the only guy he's ever been with. Wade is not only pan but pan across multiple universes! (Yes, and with a face like - all together now - FREDDY KREUGER FACEFUCKED A TOPOGRAPHICAL MAP OF UTAH!) *confetti and jazzhands all round* [yep, who could love a man with a face like a when's arse, right?] Well voice no. 3, Peter could, deeply and recklessly, and he knew something was wrong. Then it hit him like a punch to the chest. He blurted out, "Oh my God, Wade, it's today! I'm so sorry" Wade opened the bathroom door. Peter grabbed the merc tightly. The older man's shoulder's shook and he fell into deep uncontrollable sobbing. Peter steadied himself and his other half who's knees had given out. Wade tried to speak but the words wouldn't come. They stuck in his throat and he choked on them. A glottal stop with no end. Peter fought back tears. Memories of uncle ben came flooding back. Losing a father figure had hurt, like hell, bit to lose a child... One year the pain was all to real again and Wade was consumed by grief for Ellie. Peter held him close, for how long he wasn't certain. A few nights ago the two of them were watching a Zac Efron movie, it was Wade's choice, may have had something to do with the sex scenes, and Peter remembered the line, "being there for each other, that's all relationships are." He was glad Wade had stopped suffering alone. The sobbing ceased and Wade gained his composure. Thank you for being a friieennddd Wade's phone rang. The golden girl's theme song. He took the call in the bathroom. "Wade!" Peter called angrily, banging on the door. After a while he reappeared, wiped his eyes and told Peter, "I gotta go baby boy, I got a job." NOW? Peter frowned. "I need this" Wade said, strapping his swords on and with that he kissed Peter on the cheek and *BLIP* teleported off. (Skulls will be cracked) [Oh yeah]. Peter stood, alone now, outside the bathroom. "Unbelievable" he said aloud. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something. It sent a shiver down his spine - there was a message on the bathroom mirror... in BLOOD. I love your ass Petey. And by ass I mean you.. and your ass. Sorry I didn't have a pen W x Peter's look of horror turned to a smile. He thought: So sweet! But disgusting. Sweet and disgusting. Yep, that was Wade.