Cold Cases and Hunger
A/N Hello my lovely readers, this is a new story of mine that I have been working on for quite some time now, and after weeks of thinking it through I decided I was going to write it and do this story.
Why I have been doubting this is because there is a subject involved that is rather painful to me, but I suppose that this way I have some sort of way to explain how it is to have it.
WARNING: In this story Regina has an eating disorder, if you don't want to read it because of that , than that is okay, but this is my way of dealing with my own since I relapsed into it I suppose.
Happy reading and I hope you are going to like this story!
x R.
She felt the hunger nag at her, gnawing at her stomach like some beast the was devouring her from within, growling, but every time she even dared to look at food her mother's words rang in her mind telling her not to do it. Not to eat that food if she wanted to risk losing the figure she trained so hard for.
"Regina, you alright?" She heard her assistant Ashley ask her in that sweet soft voice she always used. It was that voice, that just like today, shook her out of her train of thoughts.
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Any more information about the Kingsley case?" She asked the blonde as she popped a piece of mint flavoured chewing gum in her mouth to still the gnawing beast. The Kinsley case had been something she had been working on for a rather long time now, The daughter of the big Leopold Kingsley, Mary Margaret Kingsley had been trialed for the murder of Kathryn Nolan, the wife of the now widower David Nolan. The complicated part about this was that Mary and David were having an affair, or well, it was rumoured that they had.
And now it was Regina's job, one of the partners of one of the biggest law firms in the whole New York, to prove that Mary wa innocent, and that she had been framed by that nasty Mr. Glass. At least that is what she is trying to prove, but for that she will need evidence.
"Ashley call our investigator Emma please, We need her help for this one." Regina said, and then she realized she had completely missed Ashley's answer about the KIngsley case, her reeling mind, and painfully empty stomach were distracting her more than she thought.
That aside though, she needed to focus on this case, because it was important. The Kingsley's were people that needed her firm rather often and were big spenders when it came to lawyers, for they only wanted the best senior associates, or the partners of the firm, no one less.
"Ma'am I already told you, Ms. Swan wants to talk to you as soon as possible with some new information she has found on Mr. Glass." Ashley said with a slightly furrowed brow.
Her boss had been doing this a lot more as of late, zoning out for a few stomach, sometimes gripping her stomach in the process as if it were hurting. She seemed less focused, or well it seemed like she wasn't as focused as she was a few months back. But, asking questions wasn't something she was allowed to do, she had learned that the hard way, when Regina released her temper onto the poor blonde.
"Oh right, my apologies for that, Tell Emma I will be able to have her in my office in about thirty minutes." Regina said and then walked back into her own rather large office, back to doing some of the paper work her partner Locksley hadn't finished before his break of two weeks he was taking. Not that she had a problem with that, the man deserved a break, that way he, his wife Marian, and his two year old son Roland were at least able to have some family time together.
It was just a lot to be handling right now, because it was a rather large amount of paperwork that had to be done. This needed to be finished before she could even fully work on the Kingsley case of course.
So Regina put on her reading glasses, that always had been just a bit too big, but they were a gift from her father, so she would never even want another pair, and got on with the paperwork. Praying that the gnawing of the beast called hunger would be dormant for just a while longer. Just so that she could finish this.
This was just some paperwork to finalise a case that they had already won, and to be honest, she didn't really mind doing it, because she saw it as a change to shut her overfull brain off for a moment and just not think.
After the last few months, she was happy to 'not think' for a moment or two, before the blonde investigator came along. This shouldn't take that long anyway.
Hunger. No, not hunger. She wasn't hungry, she needed to focus on the papers in front of her, not on the body part that always seemed to betray her in the silent moments by letting out a loud growl, no. Not hunger.
Regina adjusted the black-rimmed reading glasses on her nose, that kept sliding off and scanned the pages with her eyes to make sure there were no mistakes, and then sign on the lines that needed her signature.
Just when she scrawled down the last signature with her fountain pen, there was a distinct knock on her door, that three seconds later swung open, to make Regina aware of the blonde presence.
that damned woman still knew nothing of manners, or waiting for permission to enter her office, oh well.
"Good day Gina." The blonde said with a wide smile, her whole dominant presence immediately filling the room, and making Regina feel suffocated. The blonde just had something about her, that always demanded that you look at her, that always managed to drag your attention from what you were doing towards her.
"It is Ms. Mills for you, or is your brain to ruined by your cheap coffee to understand that?" Regina snarled, she didn't really want to be that bitchy and short with the blonde, but her mood wasn't the best today, and it now felt like the beast that was previously gnawing at her stomach, was devouring it, demanding more food. That and other things were excellent conditions for a short temper and a bad mood in Regina's book.
"I see the kitty has her claws out this time." Emma said, unfazed by the brunette's temper, she had seen it too many times to be scared of it anymore really, and she knew the brunette had her reasons to be short tempered, so she accepted it for now. "I wanted to meet with you, because I had some new things on the Kingsley case, Ms. Mills." The blonde said before a hot headed brunette could react to the previous comment of Emma.
"Well stop wasting time then, and show me what you have. We only have one month before it will be taken to court, we need all the information and proof we can get. I cannot afford to lose this case, it will give us a bad name and make us lose an important client." Regina said seriously and took off her reading glasses to look straight at Emma without any obstrictions.
"Well I have some information that will make Mr. Glass's alibi invalid. Turns out that he wasn't late at his work making over hours, he was spotted by security cameras only a mile away from the crime scene." The blonde said and situated herself on one of the more luxurious chair inside Regina's big office. Chairs that were most of the time only used by said blonde, since the brunette only even at at her desk or paced around in the room, or as of late, stare out of the enormous glass window that looked over a vast sight of New York City.
The blonde might not admit it out loud, but the brunette intrigued her in many ways no other person ever had. The woman was poised, mysterious. An enigma wrapped in a puzzle, shrouded by mist and almost impossible to figure out. That was what Emma used as excuse to watch her, to look at how sometimes those brown orbs showed so many emotions, and other times seemed shielded off to the rest of the world, and radiated ice into the whole room, making the temperature drop by a few degrees. Or well, that was what is felt like.
"Okay, so he was seen there, but how can we prove to the jury and the judge that he was guilty, that he planted the murder weapon on Mary and made her seem like the one that has done the killing?" Regina then said, not even looking at Emma but staring out of the window again, thus, missing the look Emma gave her.
"Well, you know those unidentified fingerprints that were found on the murder weapon? I may have found out that those are his as well." Emma said with a proud smile, for once a case was actually going without too much trouble.
"That is good. that is better than good, it is magnificent. And since we have his motive, this should make preparing the speech and proving Mary innocent, no too big of a problem." Regina said, the ghost of a smile dancing at her lips. That was the closest she would come to smiling nowadays.
Emma felt that familiar pang of pain ricochet through her heart again at seeing Regina's face. It had been the closest to smiling Emma had ever seen Regina come, but the pain in her eyes and her whole demeanor stopped it from actually looking like a smile, something that made Emma ache to see a genuine smile on that face, and those eyes that would actually shine with happiness.
She just guessed that something like that would not be happening anytime soon. Not after what happening four months ago, it actually surprised Emma that one day after the accident, she was already back to work. Not that many people actually know what happened. They just know there was something that had changed the head of this law firm, and that her temper was now shorter than ever and more fiery than ever, and that she would refuse most cases or give them to the senior associates.
Emma knew because well, it was what she did, gathering intel on people that didn't want anyone to know that intel was her job. So she found out what happened, and now she had no idea how in hell Regina could even do her job anymore, but it wasn't her place to ask something like that about something as sensitive as that.
"Ms. Swan." Regina said with a hint of anger lacing her voice. "Are you even listening to me?" The brunette said, her temper already starting to flare.
"Sorry, my thoughts drifted off for a second."
"Daydreaming can be done outside of work hours, thank you. If you weren't so damned good at your job, I would have certainly fired you already, you know that right?" Regina said angrily and hoped that would make Emma leave, she wanted solitude. she wanted to be alone and have silence around her. To be without such a demanding presence in the room, because it wasn't something she needed right now.
Emma got the message loud and clear, having heard that threat at least ten times the last four months already, and accepting them as they come really, it was only logical that she needed to let the pent up emotions go somehow. Emma left the room and let Regina be, she had a job to do anyway, finding out how they could make sure that Sydney Glass was going to get what he deserved.
Regina let out a sigh as Emma left and sank down into her chair, her hand automatically going towards the picture on her desk. It was a move she had made hundreds of times, ever since she had put the picture down here a year ago. Sometimes she picked it up and looked at it several times a day. Well that was before the accident of course. After?
Well after the accident she hadn't dared to look at it. pushed it down so the photo was pressed against the surface of her desk.
the only thing seeing the photo now was the dark brown wood of her desk, since her eyes couldn't take it. couldn't look at what she had lost, what she had lost because of herself. Because she- No, she couldn't think about this. couldn't possibly go over it again at work, because that would make her break again. and she hadn't done that for three and a half months right now.
She was a strong woman that would not waste her time crying, emotions were only a waste of time, or so her mother had taught her. Her mother, the only family she had left right about now.
Life was a cruel thing, but she already knew that. That was a thing that was taught to her at a very young age she supposed, but it would do no good to dwell on any of that now.
She stopped her hand an inch before it reached the frame that was holding the picture she was able to look at anymore. She was not going to do it, going to be weak. No, that wasn't who she was. She would never be weak again.
Regina released a deep sigh and let her head sink down in her hands, her elbows resting on the desk. Everyday without them seemed to just get harder and harder. Eat at her more and more. And her damned stomach would not give up with the rumbling. The gnawing getting worse, her stomach begging, pleading for some sustenance that would feed her body and give her the energy it needed to function normally again. She would not give in to that, though, hadn't been doing it for weeks now.
She had a schedule she would stick to. A maximum of a little amount of calories a day. No more, and sometimes even less. Just enough so that she wouldn't go and faint in the office, because well, that would raise far too much suspicion.
For as far as she knew, that was nobody that knew about what had happened to her four months ago, or well not to her but to..
well that didn't matter, the point was, nobody knew what had happened. Nobody knew about her eating habits, and that was the way she wanted to keep things.
Not that that paralegal Anna would come to her again and ask if something was wrong. If there was she wanted to talk about. Not that Regina would ever want to open up to anyone, let alone that annoying over excited, and overly happy girl Anna Winter. She was good at er job, if Regina was honest, but just far too chipper and chatty, not someone she likes to get along with really.
But then again, Regina didn't really get along with anyone. She didn't have friends, not really. She didn't have her fa- No, don't think about it. Thinking about it will make the pain worse than it already is. To summarize it, no she didn't have friends. She didn't have anyone to talk to, because her mother was… well her mother.
Regina heaved another sigh and got herself to sit upright again before she got her reading glasses and started reading files and papers again with information for some of the cases she has worked on or is still working on.
The red envelope was only now noticed by Regina and she carefully picked it up from between some other files. How did something with such an obvious colour get there without her watchful eye not even catching it? Normally she would have definitely noticed something like that…
She examined the envelope but couldn't detect whom would have had the brains to send something to her. She never got something, her world didn't work that way. She kept staring at the envelope that was held between her thumb and finger as if it were going to do something special if she kept staring at it.
After a few minutes, with nothing happening she turned the envelope around and opened it. Inside it she found a letter. Well more of a note really, since it only had a few sentences on it, was it a quote? She furrowed her brow as she read it, and for the first time in four months, the tiniest of smiles formed on her face, the ends of her lips slightly pointing upwards. If you didn't look very closely you wouldn't even see it.
" 'Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, It became a butterfly'
You may feel like your world is over, but after even the heaviest of rainfalls, there will be a rainbow."
Regina read it multiple times, the tiny mile not leaving her face. Someone cared for her. Someone knew what happened four months ago, and wanted to cheer her up.
Her brow furrowed when she thought about it, who would want to cheer her up? Who would even care for her enough to leave this little note? And it didn't even say who the mystery person is…
That didn't matter though, not now. Now she was going to cherish this little note and keep it close to her, keep it somewhere where she could continue to read it until the paper itself was torn to pieces from folding it too much. Regina held the piece of paper closer to her heart before slipping it into the pocket of her blazer.
There really was someone out that that dared to care for her. that wanted her to be happy, or well feel a bit better than how she was feeling right now.
She now just prayed to whatever was out there, this wouldn't be the only little note she would get.