The Dead Pan Contest
Title: Little Red Hot Pants
Story/Movie Parodied: Little Red Riding Hood
Characters: Sookie, Amelia, Octavia, Eric, Victor, Alcide, Debbie
Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters, places, events, etc, belong to their respective owners.
Summary: Sookie goes to deliver a basket across the woods to Octavia's house. She encounters some serious trouble along the way. Hopefully, her Viking can come to save the day.
^v^
Little Red Hot Pants
Once upon a time, there was a little town called Bon Temps. In the oldest farmhouse in town, there lived two friends; Sookie, a telepath, and Amelia, a witch. Everyone in town called Sookie "Little Red Hot Pants," since she always wore the tiniest red shorts, even in the middle of winter. Amelia's mentor, Octavia, lived in a house nearby, separated by a deep, dark wood where a vicious pack of werewolves lived.
One day, Octavia grew very ill and Amelia wanted to bring her a basket full of homemade goodies. Sadly, Amelia herself had no sense of direction and often got lost when walking through the woods. She asked Sookie to bring the basket to Octavia for her, and since Sookie had a very kind heart, she quickly agreed. Sookie only asked that she leave before nightfall when the vampires would be out and the weres could shift easily.
Sadly, Amelia was not a very good baker, and she ruined the first few batches of pies. Sookie kicked her out of the kitchen and whipped up enough baked goods to feed the entire town in a matter of minutes. She and Amelia packed the basket full of the pies, jams and even Octavia's favorite teas. Just as Sookie opened the door to leave, she saw a very handsome vampire leaning against the hood of his shiny red Corvette. This was Eric Northman, Sheriff of the Area, and Sookie's sometimes lover. They were on the outs at the moment, but that didn't stop him from showing up whenever he wanted.
"Good evening, Sookie. Glad to see your shorts are as tiny as ever. Where are you heading out to tonight?"
"I'm bringing this basket to Octavia since she's sick."
"You realize it's very late and the full moon is just a few nights away. Dangerous creatures are out tonight. Allow me to accompany you."
"Not in your wildest dreams, Eric. You just want to have sex with me, and then I'll never get to Octavia tonight."
"Have it your way. I'll be here waiting for you when you get back."
With that, she left the farmhouse, and the very sexy vampire, behind. As she took the first steps into the tree line, she used her gift to scan the darkness. She could hear the jumbled thoughts of many weres out in the woods and the void of a vampire coming closer. At first, she thought it was just Eric trying to scare her but her heart sank when she was face to face with the one vampire she did not want to see; Victor Madden. He was the lieutenant to the King of Nevada, Arkansas, and Louisiana, and a deadly force. He killed whenever the mood struck, often for no good reason. She was hoping it was just her annoying vampire neighbor, Bill Compton.
"Good evening, Miss Stackhouse. What brings you into the woods this late at night?"
"A friend is sick so I'm bringing her a basket. She lives at the end of this path." She immediately regretted giving away such vital information.
"How thoughtful of you. You know, Miss Stackhouse, you are the sweetest human I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. And your ass looks wonderful in those short shorts."
"Thank you, on both fronts. If you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way."
He blocked her way, backing her against the nearest tree. He took a long lick of her neck, savoring the sweet taste of her flesh.
"My my, you taste like sunshine. I could feast on your skin all evening."
"Too bad I don't have time for that. I really must be going, Victor."
"You won't be leaving until I'm done with you, Sookie."
He sank his fangs into her neck, taking one long hard draw at the wound. She reached into her basket, finding the length of silver chain she tucked in there in case of emergency. She wrapped the chain around Victor's neck and he recoiled instantly. She grabbed the stake out of the basket, holding it at chest level, poised to strike Victor, if necessary.
"You will regret that immensely. This will not be the last time we see each other tonight."
He took off into the trees faster than Sookie could follow. She walked along the path through the wood, stopping when she heard rustling in the trees to her right. She reached into her basket, hoping to find something else to protect herself with, when a large black wolf approached her on the path. She recognized the bright green eyes immediately. Even more recognizable was the human form it shifted into; filling the air with magic. This was Alcide Herveaux, a were she'd lusted over for many months now. When Eric wasn't there to fill her bed, thoughts of Alcide and her own hands did the trick. The completely nude, perfect specimen of masculinity before her did nothing to calm her raging libido.
"Evening, Alcide."
"Sookie, what are you doing out here? I could have seriously hurt you."
She saw him sniff the air, and she knew he could smell her arousal. The predatory look in his eyes confirmed it. He walked closer to her, stalking her as a predator does its prey.
"Luckily for you, there are creatures here far more dangerous than me to run into. But I could prove harmful to those little shorts of yours."
He backed her against a tree, rubbing himself on her. His nose and mouth ran against her neck, his hips grinding against hers. She placed the basket on the ground before she had the chance to drop it, ruining its contents.
"What has you out so late at night, Little Red?"
"I'm bringing a basket to Octavia; she's not feeling well."
"Isn't that thoughtful of you. Perhaps I should let you be on your way?"
"Maybe a kiss for good luck? From what I've heard, the big bad nasties are out in full force."
He kissed her hard on the mouth; using his tongue to dominate hers, pinning her hands above her head against the bark. Their lips fought in a classic dance, while their bodies worked against each other, seeking friction anyway they could get it. He had a firm grip on her hips, grinding against her, the tiny signature shorts the only barricade from full on penetration. One side of her mind was hoping he'd tear the fabric away and take her against the tree, but the rational side was determined to end up at Octavia's before it was too late. He pulled himself away only when breathing was absolutely necessary, taking two steps back away from her.
"You should go. Anything more and I won't be able to stop myself."
She adjusted her clothes, picking the twigs from her hair and the basket up off the floor.
"You're right. A rain check, perhaps?"
He tossed her a wink over his shoulder before shifting back into wolf form. As Sookie began walking back down the trail, she could still feel his eyes on her for a long while. When she knew she was alone again, she allowed her mind to read the darkness of the woods. The weres in the wood were thinking particularly lusty thoughts tonight, but it was the dark void of a vampire that worried her most. She feared that Victor was back with a vengeance, ready to strike after her attack with the chain.
She monitored the void closely, focusing on it as she made her way down the path. She saw the clearing where Octavia lived in the distance;, knowing her destination was in sight lightening the fear in her heart a great deal. She was so close to being out of the forest, she realized too late that another shifter was directly behind her. She turned to find Alcide's ex-girlfriend, Debbie Pelt. As Debbie approached her, the were-fox took a deep sniff of Sookie's clothing. She knew that Debbie could smell Alcide's scent all over her and would not appreciate it.
"You're a fucking furbanging slut, rubbing up on any were who will look your way. Look's like Alcide's tastes have turned for the worst. I must have really messed him up."
"Maybe he wanted a real woman after having to deal with a bitch like you."
Debbie growled and lunged for Sookie's throat. Sookie was faster, thanks to a recent blood exchange with Eric. She ducked from Debbie's attack so the shifter face-planted in a mud puddle. Sookie knew she wasn't strong enough to knock Debbie out; the only way she was going to get out of this was to dodge any offensive maneuvers until the shifter tired herself out. When Sookie rolled to the ground and landed next to her basket, she pulled out the rifle she tucked in there for safe keeping. She got off two shots directly into Debbie's chest that leveled the shifter instantly. When Sookie realized what she had done, she ran the rest of the distance to Octavia's house. She didn't want to be there when the rest of the pack realized who offed one of their own.
She kept one eye on the woods as she knocked on the door. All the lights in the house were off, and she barely recognized the older woman who opened the door.
"Octavia? Is that you?"
"Of course, dearest, who else would it be?"
Sookie entered cautiously, trying to read Octavia's thoughts. When all she heard was a vampire's void, she was on high alert.
"Octavia, why can't I read your thoughts?"
"Ah, it's only a spell. You know I don't like you prying. It makes it easier to be around you, my dear."
"When did your eyes get so dark?"
"Contacts. All the better to see you with, my dear."
"When did your shoulders get so broad?"
"I've been working out. All the better to hug you with, my dear."
Sookie backed away, hoping to put some distance between her and the imposter. When she hit the kitchen counter, panic filled every inch of her body. She was separated from her basket, kicking herself for losing her last defense; the stake. The creature in Octavia's nightgown smiled a wicked smile at her, and her blood ran cold.
"When did you grow fangs?"
"All the better to drain you with, my dear."
With that, Victor Madden ripped off Octavia's bedclothes and threw himself at Sookie's throat. She struggled against him, using all of her strength to fight back when his weight suddenly disappeared from on top of her. Sookie gathered her wits and saw none other than Eric Northman tearing Victor limb from limb.
He took a quick sniff of the air and disappeared into the back bedroom. He came back to the living room, holding a weakened Octavia. Victor must have drained her so he could impersonate her. Eric gave her a great deal of his blood and she quickly revived. Sookie worried that she would turn into a vampire, but Octavia appeared to have remained very human. She gave a laugh when she realized the blood had not only brought her back from the edge of death, but cured her of her cold.
Octavia thanked Sookie for the basket and for stopping by, making sure to tell Sookie to pass the love onward to Amelia. Eric and Sookie helped to clean whatever remained of Victor from Octavia's carpets before they took off into the night. They sat on Sookie's porch after they arrived back at the old farmhouse, swaying on the porch swing, staring off into the night.
"Thank you for helping out. Octavia and I would have both died if you weren't there. But how did you get in without an invitation?"
"We had gone there a few weeks ago; the two of us and Amelia. She must have never rescinded my invitation."
"That explains a lot. I really do appreciate you helping out. Is there any way I could show you how much I appreciate you?"
He pulled her into his lap, grinding his hard length into her wet core. "I'm sure there's some arrangement we could work out."
He buried his face in Sookie's neck; kissing and teasing the skin there with his fangs. After taking one long inhale, he pushed her away.
"You reek not only of Madden, but of a were. Did you run into anyone in the woods tonight?"
She panicked, not wanting to reveal her lusty thoughts for Alcide when there was a sure thing between her legs. "I saw Alcide Herveaux and used my feminine wiles to get him away. Then his bitch ex-girlfriend tried to kill me, so I blasted her in the chest with my Gran's old Benelli."
"My brave warrior killed tonight? God, that gets me hot."
He kissed her again, tangling one hand in her flaxen hair while the other held her hips firm against his groin. They continued like teenagers on the porch for a while until they heard a wolf's howl in the distance.
"Maybe we should move this party inside. And lock all the doors."
Eric had her on her bed in the blink of an eye. He striped her white t-shirt from her torso and pulled her namesake shorts from her legs. After removing his own clothes, he found his way between her legs, pleasuring her with his very talented tongue and long fingers. He stayed there until she was crying out, screaming his name, tugging his hair so hard he thought she might rip it out. Before leaving his spot, he took a small drink of blood from her femoral artery, loving the way his bite triggered yet another orgasm.
He kissed his way up her body, holding her tenderly for a while so she could wind down from her highest highs. When she regained the ability to form coherent sentences, she begged him for more. She needed to feel him inside of her, and he was more than happy to help.
He hovered over her body for a moment, drinking in her soft curves and tanned skin. He slowly sank his full length into her, feeling her muscles guide him farther into her warmth. The worked against one another until both of their bodies were spent, which is not an easy task for a vampire. He drank from her again, this time at her breast, which gave her even more pleasure.
She left their bed, her legs a little wobbly from the amazing sex and blood loss, to take a shower. When she came back, wearing nothing more than a towel which barely covered anything, he was sitting nude on the bed, his gracious plenty not showing any signs of wearing out from their long sessions.
"I can't believe how hard you still are."
"All the better to fuck you with, my lover."
^v^